 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Great Gildesleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Tonight, Kraft has sensational news for all of you about Parquet Margarine. There's a delicious new Parquet and it spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Think of that. The minute you take Kraft's new Parquet ice cold from your refrigerator, it's ready to cut into neat pats, ready to spread smoothly on the freshest slice of bread. Kraft's new Parquet Margarine comes in a new ice blue package. You'll love the way it tastes. You'll love the way it spreads. But the great Gildesleeve considers himself Summerfield's most eligible bachelor. Perhaps his best proof of this is the fact that at present he has two girlfriends. Naturally, this is somewhat flattering to the water commissioner's ego. I'm glad to see the weekend rolling around. Let's see now. Who will I take out tomorrow night? Paula? Or Gloria? Yeah, depends on where I want to go. Nice to be able to pick your girl the way you select the suit of clothes for the evening. Gildesleeve, you're really living. Hello, Bertie. Ironing, Bertie? Yes, sir, just setting up your suit. Which one are you going to want next? Tomorrow night, I think I'll wear the brunette. Yeah, I mean, your dark blue. Yes, sir. Is Lear-Eye home yet? Oh, yes. He's in there on the phone talking to a little girl. That's why I've been hot for the last hour. That boy, always talking on the phone. Oh, he's not talking much. He's just listening. Oh? She's laying him out. What's his problem now, Bertie? Well, the way I did, he invited a little girl down the street to go to the move. He's meant to forgot about it and invited another girl. Now the girl he invited and forgot about won't let him forget it. You know, I'll have to have a talk with Lear-Eye. He's about as well organized as an octopus. Look at that position he's slid into. One leg draped over the sofa. The other one around the coffee table. He even looks like an octopus. Yeah, but Susan, listen. Cut the wire and get him out of this. If you get your wires crossed like this, you'll never be able to get along with a girl. That's a temporary attitude. I had to make a deal with them. I offered to take them both at once. Girls don't like to be taken both at once. They don't like to think they have rivals. Yeah? They know they have them, but they don't like to think about it. I guess I just don't understand women. Well, my boy, take years of experience and know-how. Take your old uncle. I can handle him like a juggler handles Indian clubs. I go with two different girls myself. I never let the one on my right know who I'm juggling in my left. You mean Mrs. Winthrop doesn't want you to go out with Miss McKinley? No. Well, I have the poor girls all upset and worried. I'm going to phone Paul to Winthrop right now and make a date for tomorrow night. Then I'll phone Miss McKinley and take her out Saturday night. What if they go wise to you? They don't get wise to an old smoothie like me. Now, if you just observe the way I operate, you'll learn a few things. Yeah, I bet I will. This is Drachmaud. Guess who I've been thinking about all day. Yep, you. When I came in the house tonight, I said to myself, I'll phone Paula and ask her for a date tomorrow night. Tomorrow night it is. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it, too. Great. I have to eat now. Ta-ta. Hi. She wasn't busy, huh? Leroy, when I call them, they're never busy. Get him. Well, I have to call Miss McKinley. This is Drachmaud. Guess who I've been thinking about all day. When I came in the house tonight, I said to myself, I'll phone Gloria and ask her for a date Saturday night. Saturday night it is. I can't wait. I mean, Saturday night is fine. You're fine and dandy. See you then. Could be improved. Talk to both girls at once. Oh, hop in, Horace. Gildy, I need my morning exercise. But I want to talk to you. If you want to talk to me, I'll travel along beside the cab. Oh, my goodness. Jud, you'd never keep up. Perhaps I shouldn't race you on foot. I might get excited and run through a stoplight. You get all your pep. Well, for one thing, I keep regular hours. I don't go gallivanting around town every night the way you do. Can I help it if I'm popular? I can't stand this. I think I'll get out and walk. No, Judge. Oh, here's a pair of ladies' gloves on the floor of the car. Ladies' gloves? Do they belong to one of your friends? See, they're glorious. Miss McKinley's, huh? Yes. Thanks for finding them, Judge. I think I'll park here at Hogan Brothers and return them. You're going to disturb her during business hours? Why don't you wait until you see her tonight? I'm not going to see her tonight. This is Paula's night. Gloria's night is tomorrow night. I don't see how you keep your engagement straight. Yeah, like I was telling Leroy, you never get mixed up if you're clever. See you later, Judge. No, no. I'm going in with you. Yes. I want to watch a clever fellow work. Yes, yes. Now stand back, Judge. Good morning, Gloria. My throck, Morton. Hello there. Good morning, Miss McKinley. What's that? Oh, Judge Hooker. Yeah, the judge tagged along. Gloria, you were a little careless when I drove you home the other night. I was? What'd I do? You left your gloves in my car. My gloves? So I thought I'd return them this morning. Any excuse to see you? Throck, Morton. Those are not my gloves. He said you're not? Come along, Judge. But, Gilday, if they aren't Miss McKinley, they must be Miss... Come along, Judge. They must be Miss Who. Judge means they must be Miss Singh, from somewhere else. Who knows? Maybe I got in the wrong car this morning. Oh, I get it. Miss McKinley doesn't know about me. Come along, you old goat. What's that mistake about the gloves this morning? You didn't like me to make mistakes. Oh, well. Gloria, you'll get over it. End of this, Gilday. Hello, Bertie. You don't mind if dinner's a little late, do you? Oh, not at all. Miss Margie's out in the kitchen, and we've been talking. Fine. I'll drift out later and see her. Yes, sis. I guess I'll take off my coat and relax. Say, I didn't realize these gloves are sticking out of my pocket. Better stuff them inside. Leroy sees them. He'll start asking questions. They're all my big talk last night about how to handle women. I'd hate for him to know what happened this morning. Hi, Alk. Whoop. Hello, Leroy. I've been waiting for you to come home. You have? I took a telephone call for you this afternoon. You did? Yeah, one of your girls. Oh? Bet you can't guess which one. Well, either girl's likely to call me at any time. Tell me what you want, and I'll call her back. It was Miss McKinley at Hogan Brothers. You'll I'll call her later. She doesn't want to talk to you. She doesn't? Oh, she said just to give you the message. Oh. But I can't believe the message. This is fantastic. Leroy, what is the message? She doesn't want to go out with you tomorrow night. She called off our date? Yep. Yes, ma'am. Oh, my. Ank, after all you told me last night, this is very confusing to a young man. All right, Leroy. So Miss McKinley got upset because I thought Paula's gloves belonged to her. Ank, far be it from me to try to give you advice, but why didn't you play at KG? What do you mean, KG? Why didn't you keep quiet? A girl who lost the gloves would ask about them sooner or later. Leroy, I had every reason to believe they were glorious. I'm just glad I didn't make the mistake with Paula. And I better phone her now and let her know I have her gloves. Yeah? Hello, Paula. Throckmorton. Oh, it's you, Throckmorton. Yeah, me. I could have waited until tonight, but I wanted to hear your voice anyway. Oh. I found your gloves in my car, just in case you're wondering what happened to them. Throckmorton, I haven't lost any gloves. They were not... You haven't lost any gloves? Oh, man. But Paula, they must be yours. You know, no, they don't belong to Miss... I mean, well, anyway, I'll see you tonight. Yeah, just because I tried to be nice and return a pair of ladies' gloves. Now, whose gloves could... Excuse me, Auntie. Yes, Marjorie. When I drove Bertie to the grocery yesterday, did I leave my gloves in your car? Only once in a blue moon can there be news like this. It's about Kraft's new Parquet margarine that comes to you in a new ice-blue package. Kraft has just perfected a new way to make margarine, and new Parquet has the texture you've always wanted in the table spread. It does away with the warm-up that any ordinary table spread needs when taken from the refrigerator. Even when ice cold, new Parquet spreads smoothly. It won't tear holes in the freshest slice of bread. Even when ice cold, new Parquet creams fast and easy when you use it as a flavor shortening in your baking. And yet Parquet won't run all over the plate when you leave it standing out in a warm kitchen. It holds its shape, won't separate, and Parquet tastes even better than ever before. Don't you agree this is the most exciting news you've ever heard about a table spread? You'll recognize Kraft's new Parquet margarine because it comes in a new ice-blue package. There's a picture of a cake of ice in the corner to remind you that it spreads smoothly even when ice cold. If your grocer doesn't already have his stock of new Parquet now, he will in just a few days. Look for a new Parquet tomorrow. It ought to be popular with two girls at the same time until he found a pair of ladies' gloves in his car. He tried to return them to Gloria and he tried to return them to Paula, but they didn't belong to either one. How do I get into these things? Anki, I'll be glad to go across the street and explain to Paula that they're my glove. Well, my treat. I won't do any good. Uncle already let it slip that he has another girl. Have another girl. Yes, yes. Now, Leroy, don't poke fun at Anki. Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. I'm on good terms with Babs and Susan again just for watching us operate. Great. That way I don't make the same mistakes. Miss Gessie. What is it, Bertie? I don't suppose you want to hurry for dinner since you ain't dating tonight. No hurry. I'm staying home, Bertie. Yes. Don't sound so sad, Uncle. There's lots of things you can do. Sit by the fireside and listen to the radio, work a crossword puzzle, wait up for me to come home for my date. Isn't Leroy awful? Well, I've got it coming, Margie. I shouldn't have set myself up as a Don Juan. Big fat me. Oh, poor Anki. Mr. Gessie, there's ways for you to get out of this. I don't know, Bertie. There's ways for you to get your girl back. Which one? There's ways for him to get both girls back. All he's got to do is to write to Mary Jane Trueheart. Why write to another woman? He's in the Dark House for 12 hours. Leroy, Mary Jane Trueheart has the love lawn column in the paper. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Here's the paper. Let's just see who she helped out today. Bertie, please. Read it, Bertie. Yeah, I am. Go ahead. Well, here's her column and here's a picture and here's the letter some love lawn arose. Let's see. Dear Mary Jane Trueheart, I'm a 31-year-old youth. Youth? I am considered handsome, attractive, and a big spender, but the girl shunned me. What should I do? Silly stuff. What does she tell him, Bertie? She says, dear, just courage. Oh, for... These days, no handsome, attractive man need long remain without feminine companionship. Yeah. Marching isn't for you men. There's no shortage of eligible bachelors and don't think the girls aren't aware. You say she's right about that. You see, Miss Giffey, you feel better already. Why don't you ride around? I am a handsome, attractive, middle-aged youth. Young man. Not the laughing stock. It must be some way to save face. And they gotta stop in and talk this thing over with Peevy. Of course, he doesn't have to know I'm the guy in trouble. Peevy? Yeah, huh? I don't know. I'm resting down this way. What can I do for you today? Peevy, I'm trying to help a friend. You don't say. I thought I'd come to you for some advice. You have a head on your shoulders. Well, I have to have some place to put my hat. Peevy, this friend of mine is in a little difficulty with his girlfriends. You mean he has more than one? He has two. He is in trouble. Well, not because he has two girls, Peevy. He really doesn't have any. How's that? That is, right now he doesn't have it. Well, then what's his trouble? Peevy, he wants his two girls back. Mr. Guelty, may I hesitate to say this about your friend, but isn't he a little greedy? No, I'm not. All right, I'll admit, I'm the guy. I found a pair of ladies' gloves in my car, and I made the mistake of trying to return them to both Paula and Ms. McKinley, and they didn't belong to either one. My, my. Now they're both mad at me. What do you think I should do, Peevy? Get out of town. Be serious, Peevy. Why should girls get all upset just because of a pair of little gloves? Well, it might be because... Oh, no, that, that couldn't be. What couldn't be, Peevy? Well, I was about to suggest that they might be jealous of you, but that couldn't be. Wait a minute, Peevy. You may have stumbled onto something there. Why else would they break their dates with me? Because they're jealous. That's the answer? That's the only answer. It's the only answer. The green-eyed monster has clouded their judgment. That's why they've thrown me over. That's possible, isn't it, Peevy? Yeah, anything's possible. Sure. And if they can sell us over a pair of gloves, think how I could worry them if I really put my mind to it. Isn't this the other thing if I wouldn't push my luck too far? Peevy, I know what I'm doing. I'll make them think I'm so popular they'll be scrambling to get dates with me. They'll consider me the catch of Summerfield. Well, they're not a bigger fish in town. No, sir. Peevy, my only problem is that I've been underestimating myself. No, no, no, I wouldn't say that. Looks a little drawn and haggard. Poor girl. She's probably been losing sleep over me. Too ill, I'll toy with her for a while. I had the advantage all the time and didn't know it. Why not use it? Good morning, Gloria. Oh, it's you. Yep, me. You hear I'm business, Mr. Gildesley? Mr. Gildesley? Say she's jealous all right. If not, I know you'll excuse me while I go about mine. No, Gloria, how about a little smile? Swatmorton, why are you here? Why? Well, if you must know, I finally found the girl the gloves belong to. So I thought I'd take her a bottle of perfume and make a men's for keeping them so long. The man has to be tactful, you know. This is not the perfume counter. Oh, I know. But I thought you might recommend something that would make a big impression on Jane. Oh, or was it Mabel? I wouldn't know. Oh, well, I'll get both of them something. Any suggestions? Yes, are you sure you want to hear them? No, Gloria. I know you don't like the idea, but you just have to face it. I have other girlfriends, many of them. In fact, next week I'm booked solid that I want to be big about this. How about a date a week from Saturday night? I happen to be busy that night. Well, how about Sunday night? Busy? Monday night? Busier. Well, Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? For your information, I'm dating nobody but the assistant manager. Hmm. I didn't think I'd make her that jealous. You bet. While we're on the subject, Leroy, I'd like to give you a little advice about girls. Some more? Pick out one nice girl and stick to her, like I'm doing. What do you mean, like I'm doing? You haven't even got a girl. Well, I'm going across the street to get one back right now. When I phoned and said I wanted to come over, she was very nice. The other day, I just temporarily upset her, that's all. She's not a butterfly flitting from flower to flower like Miss McKinnon. Miss McKinley flitted back to the assistant manager, huh? Yes, all right, Leroy. Everything's working out for the best. Paula's the girl for me. She's lived across the street for over a year now, and she never dates with anybody else. We've been going steady without me realizing it. Well, good luck, steady. You run back in the house. I'll see you later. Okay. Leroy, a little family. We wait until you know how I come out. If I don't swing it, I'll never hear the last of it. I'll have to handle this differently. No bragging. I'll be humble. My old, sincere self. Hello, Crockmorton. Hello, Paula. Come in. I appreciate you're seeing me, permitting me to come over. Oh, relax, Crockmorton. You're acting like a little boy who's misbehaved. Well, I have. I've been a heel. I should have told you long ago that I have other dates occasionally. You're under no obligation to do that. Sit down. Well, on the edge of the chair. You shouldn't tell me anything you don't want to. I want to tell you about it. After all, we're going steady. We are? Well, practically. I haven't been going out lately, and you never go out. You're the stay-at-home book reading type. Oh. Well, I don't sound very interesting, do I? Well, not to a lot of people, maybe. But to me, you are. You're solid, Paula. Wow. You're true blue. The salt of the earth. A real wholesome old-fashioned girl. Well, Crockmorton, you say such flattering things. Well, I mean them. You make a little stay-at-home book reading old-fashioned girl feel so good. Then I'm forgetting. Well, there's nothing to forgive, really. Great. Then how about me coming back a little later? How about a date tonight? Oh, if you like. Maybe. Yeah, I knew I could count on you, Paula. There's no use in both of us sitting at home twiddling our thumbs any longer. Would you like to come over about eight? Love it. Until tonight, then, Paula. Paula? Now, Crockmorton, good Paula we're making up. Run along, you impetuous boy. She tweaked my cheek. Here's your hat. I'll see you tonight. Tonight. Can't wait. Bye. Bye, George. I do feel like a boy. She tweaked my cheek. Wait until I tell Leroy. Leroy! Well, things happen just as I said they would. She's been lonesome. Sitting over there waiting for me to ask her for a date. Just pining away. Yeah. What has? That hat you're wearing. The sleeve will be back in just 30 seconds. The newest discovery in a table spread now comes in an ice blue package. It's Craft's New Parquet. The margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Compare New Parquet with any other table spread. And you'll agree it spreads better. Far better. New Parquet is good eating too with a delightful flavor that sings a freshness. Tomorrow, look for Craft's New Parquet in the blue package. It looks wonderful, it tastes wonderful. And it spreads smoothly even when ice cold. I'll be seeing another man with me right across the street. You know all the time I thought she was reading a book. I'm glad I didn't keep my date with her last night. I'm glad I had Leroy return that hat. I never want to see Paula again. I'll show her. Yeah, there's Gloria at the complaint desk. I know she prefers me to that assistant manager. I like to get a date with her and drive right past Paula's house. Might even get a look at the guy who owns the hat. Yeah, I'll be charming. Good morning, Gloria. Good morning, Gloria. I'm very busy this morning. Yeah, so I see. Somebody returned a purchase? Some woman returned a hat. I asked her what was wrong with it, and she said, not a thing. It served its purpose. Say, that's a man's hat. Looks like the one I wore home last night. I mean, Gloria, who had this hat sent out? A woman who lives on your street. Do you know Mrs. Paula Winthrop? Not as well as she knows me. A man should never try to outsmart a woman. Good night, folks. That's the features of the Great Gilder Sleeves. It's good if you like it nippy. Get both kinds of craft prepared mustard at your food store. Tonight, play You Bet Your Life on NBC.