 This is the sin that nobody wants to talk about. You won't hear about it in church, but it's so important that we address it. Just a fair warning, in this video we're going to be talking about sexuality, physical intimacy, pornography. If that's going to be a problem for you, put this video on hold and come back to it later when you're ready. One of the reasons we can have such honest and frank conversations on this channel here, one of the reasons that I don't shy away from these tough topics is because I have the base of people that support me on Patreon, so I don't have to worry too much about this video getting suppressed on YouTube or not getting passed around as much or monetization being suppressed because I have you guys on there that support me. If you want to get behind what I'm doing and create a sustainable ministry where I can continue to make this content, head on over to Patreon. You can get access to all sorts of rewards. We do video streams bi-weekly. We also have exclusive videos on there and our Discord, so if that interests you check it out. It will be a huge blessing. Now without further ado, let's dive in. Now some people say that masturbation is just normal and it's natural. You'll even hear this from people that call themselves Christians as well. They say Jesus didn't really say anything about masturbation, so we're good. But I want to hone in on something that Jesus said in Matthew 5. When he talks about if you look at a woman to lust after her, you've already committed adultery with her in your heart. We need to understand there that Jesus is honing into the heart intent, the heart desire and not just the physical act. One of the resources that I utilized for this video is a book by Tim Chalice called Sexual Detox. I want to recommend it for you guys because it is very, very beneficial if you want to go deeper in on this issue. One of the things he points out in the book is just as abortion specifically isn't mentioned in the Bible, we have many verses about the value of human life, of the dignity of being knitted together in our mother's womb and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made and how that has direct application to the issue of abortion today. Similarly, when we look at this issue of lust and from our hearts and this desire, the sexual immorality, we can apply this directly to masturbation as well. Something where we're looking and we're trying to gain sexual gratification, instant gratification outside of the context of marriage, of that covenantal relationship. And so we can see, okay, that's not part of God's design. In Genesis, we learn about the first man, Adam, and how God said, hey, it's not good that man should be alone and he created a help meet for him in Eve. And that the man shall leave his father and his mother and become one flesh with his wife. That was God's design from the beginning. That is the outflowing of where sexual expression should take place in that covenantal bond. And so for looking at masturbation, we're seeing, okay, this is an isolated act done for self-pleasure. It is a selfish act. It is contrary to kind of the self-giving sexuality that God calls us to in marriage. I know I can say all this to you and you're saying, okay, I get it, Isaac. It's not good that I'm doing this. But I think it's also important that we understand, okay, why are we so drawn to masturbation? For you, ask yourself some introspective questions like why is your heart so drawn to it? Why do you want to go to this place again and again? Is it loneliness? Do you feel this deep sense of lack of connection in your life? Maybe it's a sense of hopelessness. I'll never find a partner. I'll never get married. And so this is kind of the only sexual relief that I'll ever get. And so there's this lack of hope there. Maybe it's anxiety where you're like, I just, my life isn't going well. I'm just anxious about all these different things. I have this kind of sense of I need to get control, but I don't have control because my life is out of control in a lot of ways. And this is a sense of peace and relief that I can find that is, that I can be in control of. Now when you masturbate, there's going to be a deep sense of guilt or shame, at least as a Christian because our conscience, we're being convicted by the Holy Spirit saying, hey, this isn't what's best for you. This isn't what God wants for you. This is this kind of counter to God's design. It isn't just kind of counter to God's design. It is counter to God's design. And so you're being convicted in this way, but it's important to know that it's not just about the act itself. That's the sin. There's a deeper issue going on. And that's why I want you to be a little bit introspective here about what are these kind of core beliefs or core fears or core anxieties or core desires that are leading you continually to keep on the cycle. One of the really damaging aspects of masturbation that I hadn't thought about too much until reading that book by Tim Chalice was that it creates kind of an unrealistic expectations for your future partner. So when you're having these fantasies in the midst of masturbation, you're having these sexual fantasies, you're creating these expectations of what you want your future sex life to be like. And that's just ridiculous. That's just that can't happen. And you also are training yourself to only be able to gain sexual satisfaction based on those fantasies. Similarly to pornography, when you're feeling yourself with more and more intense and extreme scenarios, you're putting that expectation on your future partner in order for you to feel that sexual fulfillment, which is obviously just messed up. Now, back to the topic at hand. When God designed sexuality, he designed it to be a fruitful endeavor. When we talk about fruitful, we talk about fruitful relationally, sexually and physically like in reproduction. So relationally fruitful in that it bonds to to become one, that they are united, that that relationship is bolstered by that kind of intimacy. Then when we talk about sexually fruitful, it is pleasurable. That's part of God's design. It's not just kind of mechanical. This is only for having children know the pleasure aspect is a big part in it. And that's where the selfless component becomes really prominent because you're not going into this relationship, this physical intimacy in order to merely get, but rather to give. You're looking to selflessly fulfill their desires above your own. Then physically fruitful, your reproduction, you're having children. Obviously, not every couple is able to have children, but this is kind of a core element to how God designed sex in marriage. When we talk about masturbation, then is that fruitful relationally? No, not at all. It's an isolated act done with your own fantasies or maybe you're watching pornography, you're bonding to your screen, you're bonding to your fantasies, you're bonding to yourself and your own desires. Is it fruitful sexually? Well, some might see it that way. It's instant gratification. You can get off when you want to. But truly, if it's not the way that God designed it, it's just such a small taste of what God had actually invited us into in proper context, like if sex is inside of marriage, how beautiful and how life giving that is as opposed to the shame and the guilt that comes after, after masturbating. It feels good for a moment, but ultimately leads you to guilt and to shame. And it definitely doesn't lead to being fruitful physically. If anything, it actually inhibits your motivation as a man, specifically to pursue the calling that God has on your life to take responsibility to ultimately find a woman and to marry her and to have kids and provide for them. Like you're being pacified by masturbation to this low level of achievement and into thinking that that's OK and that's good. So it's not fruitful at all in that context. And you stay isolated. Now, I want to be honest with you here. If you've been caught in a cycle of masturbation and you've experienced guilt or shame or sadness or isolation, I want you to know that this isn't something that you can't overcome through Christ. Notice I put the through Christ there because if you're doing this on your own, if you're just trying to overcome this by willpower or just pragmatic beliefs that my life will become just better if I stop doing this. So I should just stop. It won't work. It won't be enough. Ultimately, what we need to do is understand the gospel. What is the gospel? The gospel is the fact and the reality that God through Jesus has overcome sin. The power of sin in our life that we have been forgiven when we put our faith in Jesus, that we have been our shame has been washed away, that we are no longer guilty before him. And then rather now as Christians, as those who have repented for our sin, we can turn to Christ boldly asking for forgiveness, confessing our sins, but recognizing that we are clothed in Jesus' righteousness and that nothing could separate us from the love of God as his children. The evil one wants to use masturbation in your life for you to question your salvation to get you off of the battlefield. This was the game changer for me realizing that God's power and presence is with me all the time as his child. I have his power and his presence with me. So that means even in those moments of isolation, God is present. He is not distant and he wants to meet us even in the midst of our pain or anxiety or loneliness. He wants to meet us there. And also after you sin, he wants to meet us in the midst of our shame and our guilt to provide forgiveness and and lift us off of the ground to point us ultimately to the forgiveness that he has enabled and also just walking with him in the spirit that we would not gratify the desires of the flesh. Two practical steps before we go today and I want you to follow through on these. The first one is go through your phone context. Who is it in your life that you trust that you can share this with? I want you to send them a text now to say, hey, I've been struggling with this. Maybe even a phone call, but I know that can be a lot for somebody. So even just begin with a text, say, hey, I've been struggling with this. It's a problem in my life. I need to be honest and open about this to get it out of just my isolated state. And can you keep me accountable on this? Can you ask me about this? Is it OK if I phone you or text you when I'm tempted? Is that all right? And maybe they say no, but most likely, if it's somebody you trust in your life, there's been some sort of a spiritual mentor or just an encouragement in your life. They're going to be more than willing to say, hey, yeah, of course, thank you for being honest and open and vulnerable enough with me to share this and just do it today. Do not delay on this. It is going to be the most important step to getting you to helping you break free from this. The second thing is that masturbation is often fueled by pornography. And so we want to put up some accountability in order to make that step a lot more challenging. What I want you to do is click the link in my description and sign up for Covenant Eyes. It will send a report of your internet history to somebody in your life that can keep you accountable. I've heard it's been a tremendous help to many men and women that have helped them break free from pornography. So click the link in my description and sign up for that as well. Thanks so much for watching this video, guys. If you enjoyed it, subscribe because I'm putting out new videos every single week. You can follow me on other platforms as well, like Instagram and TikTok at its Isaac David. Until next time, I will see you later. God bless.