 All right, hi guys, welcome back to our channel. My name is Kwame and this is Elaine. Yeah, and it's usually my channel. It's okay, but you know, from time to time, especially from, is it two weeks ago that we recorded our video? Yeah. So yeah, from time to time, my wife shows up on the channel and last two weeks we recorded our first partnership. And today we're gonna talk about something that. Partnership. Yeah, isn't the first partnership recording? But today we're talking about a topic that we think we can both add our experiences. Experiences. On, yeah. Because we're talking about culture shock. And we both experienced that Kwame when he visited the Netherlands. For the first time, which was 2017. And I came to Ghana in 2015 and I've been back and forth quite a lot. So I definitely experienced culture shock. But before we dive into this, we thought it would be good to dive, to share with you the definition. Yeah, the definition of culture shock first. So you can read it. So yeah, culture shock is the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone when they are suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture or way of life or a set of attitudes, which strangely enough, not strangely enough. You know, I'm too known sometimes. No, not too known sometimes. I'm actually too known. Most of the time. Before we traveled to the Netherlands, I was telling her that I didn't think that culture shock is a thing that I would experience because I'm open-minded enough. You know, I've seen, I mean, I've seen it in movies. I know how you people live or how it is. Not knowing that when you actually learn there and experience it is completely different. So yeah, I got a bit ahead of myself. Yeah, definitely. And I was, you know... And I was even trying to kind of tell you, suddenly, like, you will experience it. Yeah. But you were very like, no, I want. No, not me, never. So then I just retreated and taught to myself, let them just experience it and then when it comes, we can... Oh, and I did experience it. I'll start from the beginning where, you know, landing or arriving in the Netherlands, you know, how everything was. And like, upon arrival, I was like, whoa, okay. First, for me, I was first thinking for me was, like, literally lifting my body all the way onto another continent. Like, I'm walking somewhere that is completely, you know... It's different from driving your car to another place. This is completely different, new. And I was so shocked to see, like, you know, in the summer, the sun was shining, yes, but the sky was like blue, it was like... The weather was chill. Like, the sun is out, it's crispy clear. And it's like... I was like, whoa. Okay, she did say it, but... The good thing is, I didn't even react. All I know is I was smiling to myself like an idiot, like, oh, this is really nice, and it was clean. I was like, where is the... You know, I'm not saying that I expected to see dirt. Yeah, but dust. There's no dust. Yeah, there's no dust. There's no, like... Where is it? Where is the sand? So that was a pleasant surprise. Let me just say that culture shock isn't always negative. So it was a pleasant surprise for me to, I mean, experience that. What about you when you first arrived? Well, I experienced the other way around, because in the old airport, when you would arrive at the airport in Ghana, you'd form the plane in 2015. You would immediately be in the outside, like you would walk down the plane. So the smell is so distinctive. Like, there's no... Well, I haven't been to all the places in the world, but I feel that there's no smell like Ghana's smell. Like, it literally welcomes you, and the heat hugs you like, welcome home. And every time I walk out of the plane, well, now we don't come to the outside because of the new airport, but the smell is always so welcoming. For you, it's welcoming. Like, oh, now it's like home. Like, it's smelling, and like, I'm back. When I got back, it wasn't welcoming. I was angry. I was like... And what else stood out for you in the country? So yeah, from arrival to my first hour, especially leaving the airport, like, the efficiency. And the infrastructure. Like, how do you have like a four-lane, one-branching house, this? You know, even leaving the airport with your tickets, getting out. And everything was like spot-on. And I was just confused because, I mean, over here, in my experience or whatever it is, even there's not so much complex in terms of roads and, you know, infrastructure or whatever it is. And I'm wondering, how are they able to know exactly where to make their exit and how long do you... Like, how often do you get lost before you find your, you know, proper grounds or whatever it is? And I remember thinking that, wow, like, the road is so smooth. Like, the infrastructure. Like, I was funny enough. It was your mom that picked us up. Yeah. And because she wanted to talk to me, she allowed me to sit in the front seats and just take everything in. I was experiencing everything. And I was looking on her dashboard and she was going around, like, 120, 140 and just talking to me. And that felt like 60. Because the road wasn't that good. I was like, whoa. But it was pleasant for me because I could see myself existing in this space in the long term because when you're here, you complain a lot about some of these things. So your first phase was a bit amazement and... Amazement and... Disbelief. Yes, pleasantly surprised. Like, oh, wow. So, yeah. I think for me, but I also arrived in the night in the first time in Ghana. For me, my culture shock was more that I became very shy. So I felt a bit small. Like, I didn't dare to do a lot of things. And I remember the first time I had a room at the University of Ghana International Student Hostel. So that was where I was staying. And my room was opposite Night Market. And I remember the first night I didn't dare to go on the balcony to look at the market because I wasn't even sure what it was because I'm familiar with markets, but not one during the night. And not one that looks like the one in Ghana. And I was just like, what is that? And I didn't. So I peeked through the window. Wait, did you actually think that somebody would see you and wonder why somebody was? I was just very timid and shy. I didn't dare to show myself. I was like a turtle, like everything in. And I even remember because in the room, there was a fan on the ceiling because it's really hot. That is normal in Ghana. I didn't know that because I just arrived. And so I didn't know that you should even keep the fan on in the night because I thought you don't leave electricity, like machines with electricity on in the night. So what did I do? I put the fan on really hard so that there would be cool breeze. And then I turned it off, like go to bed real quick and sleep. But it was hot. But only later I discovered that you can just sleep with the fan. That's the whole purpose. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I think I had a similar thing, if I should say. I had a similar thing, maybe the opposite or reverse, where almost every building I entered, I kept looking for fan and AC. And I couldn't see any of it. I mean, I know, come on, you have your winter and all these things, whatever. But in the summer or in the month where it's a bit warm, don't you need like an emergency ventilation machine or something? So it was strange for me to enter a building and almost every building you'd enter is just glass concrete and no machines, no AC, no fan, nothing. So it was a bit weird. In my mind, I kept wondering, what if I'm warm in the night? But you were never warm. No, I was never warm. It's like, wow. OK, so that was one of the things that stood out for me, that, you know, it took a little while for me to get used to. Yeah. And I loved it when I got used to it. I'm sorry, everyone's asking a question. What stood out for you people-wise or culture-wise? For the people and how they behaved, I just wondered why they were so efficient. Like how can they be so... It seemed too proper for my liking, almost not human. Like robotic? Yeah, like I wondered what was going on. Why do these people like... Everybody was just going about their business, they know where they were going, they were doing exactly what they needed to do and leaving, not interacting with each other is just very efficient. You would tell somebody that, like in conversation, oh yes, so let's meet up around four. And don't even use around, like around four. Let me tell you four. Four, 430, 415. Like you'll go to the train station, for example, and they tell you it's coming at 430. And the most delay you have, unless they announce that it's a complete delay, the most delay you have in it arriving is just a few seconds, a minute at most. So it felt a bit soulless. Yeah, and I remember that that was also what you struggled with, that I think after the first day, you were very frustrated that you were like, I think this place is soulless. Yeah, like where are the people? I was wondering where are the people? Nobody's minding you, everybody's just going about their business. And it was just a bit difficult for me to... For me, that was also difficult to hear, not because I think it's not true, but because I saw that you were struggling with it. And it's my motherland. So for me, I was like, oh, no, he doesn't like it, you know? But that was a culture shock. You were still disoriented from like finding your way and how to go about it. Because I think what you observed is very true. Netherlands is very task oriented. So we go about things, we're always on the go, we're always going, so we're always doing something where everything has like a goal. While in Ghana, I feel the life is more relationship oriented. So it's about... Yes, a little bit more relaxed. Who you meet, you will connect. And in Netherlands, you will not necessarily connect on a relationship base, you will connect on a task. In Netherlands, you can come to work and work with your colleagues and know nothing about them. Of course, you want to because you work together, but you don't have to. You're like, you can connect on a task and that's it. While here in Ghana, I really learned that, you know, the art of small talk, like it has so much value. It has so much... You're doing like extremely well. She's actually doing more small talk or a relationship. Oh, I've come to really see the value. Way better than I am doing. I think in a way, we are opposite souls. Because I felt like, like I said, I could live in the Netherlands because when people said they wanted to meet at four, they met at four. When you wanted to do something with somebody, it was the task. You finish it, it's well done, you shake hands. And yes, another thing, handshake. Handshake was so firm and there was nothing like, like, you know, when we do like, yo, and you do this and you snap. Yeah. As soon as they shake your hands, they move your hands like and open it. I was just wondering, oh, bro, like... Yeah, you don't really hold. Like... It's intimate. Yeah, like, you couldn't even... Too intimate. You couldn't even shake hands and like hold for a bit. It's just like, ugh, ugh. I was like, whoa, can you just calm down? Yeah. You get it? So I kind of, you know, would have adjusted or liked it in that sense, especially with the time. I struggle a lot with time issues here when you have to meet people and being late at all these things and being very relaxed about it. In the Netherlands, you tell somebody you want to meet and immediately it's on the agenda. Yeah. You just mark it. For me, it's kind of been the other way around because I came from that very task-oriented, like, efficient system. And then here in Ghana, it's another system because time is here, not linear. It's not like one thing happens after the other and we can kind of control it. That's a bit of the mind frame in the Netherlands. Yeah. And here it's, I'm coming. So by God's grace, I mean, if everything goes well, I will arrive. And in the first, it's frustrating because you're not sure what will happen in a day. But now I really appreciate it because here in Ghana, people still leave a bit of space like for life to happen. Well, in Netherlands, you can plan your full day and you will know it will happen exactly to that. But you will lose out on the magic of life. Of spontaneity, yeah. Of life itself. And that's what I really, like, Ghana really told me to appreciate the magical small things because here we leave some space for that. Yeah. Sometimes that's negative because of all the traffic you don't know when you arrive. But it's also like bumping into a friend by accident and you can just tell the person like, oh, I'm coming, but I ran into a friend so I'll leave a bit later. And that's holding that space for life to happen. That's something I really appreciate from, yeah. They're much more relaxed, yeah. And another thing that I would say I struggled with. I know what's coming. It's food, bro. Bread. I like food. I like food a lot. And here we're used to... You can eat Wache or Jolof in the morning so long as you know where the vendor is or whatever it is. You can eat Banqueen absolutely if you want that same day. And in the evening, you can eat something heavy. Heavy, heavy, heavy. For me personally, that's what I do. I mean, you may be a Ghanaian who has a different, you know, that's also fine. But even with your breakfast, it's slightly heavier than what I knew or what I experienced in the Netherlands. So they wake up and coffee, just a cup of coffee, the most they'll add to it is just a light snack. And that's it, that's breakfast. And let me come back a bit, let me just go back a bit with time. You know how we are used to waking up at six? My body clock would wake up at six and I'm awake. No, nobody wakes up at six. Why are you up at six? Like it has to be from seven, thirty or eight. I was just like, whoa. We like our sleep. For efficient people, you wake up very late. But that, okay, yeah, so that was it. And food, breakfast, coffee, that's it. And I was thinking, wait, so where's the food? Because over here, you can actually have Milo or something, you go to the hospital, for example. I remember when I was a kid, you go to the hospital and the doctor or whoever is taking care of you asks you, have you eaten? Then you say no. But no, you haven't had anything in the morning. I was like, oh, I just had Milo and bread. Yeah, but you ate something. It was like, no, but that doesn't count. You get it? So for coffee to be the main or the first meal, very light and easy, that's not even that bad. What took me out was the fact that when it was time for lunch, guess what these people wanted to eat? Bread. Bread, they wanted to eat bread. Like, why? And even the bread, just having a sandwich, it's not as big, it's not heavy. It's not like you're eating a huge chunk like a burger type bread, no, it's just sandwich. And I really struggled with the food because I always wanted warm food and even with looking for warm food, you didn't have a lot of food places or restaurants or eateries open up before midday. Or even if they were open, they didn't serve warm food until after midday. Yeah, so it's a very different eating culture because the food in Ghana is so heavy, so you eat and then you can go on for four, five, six hours and then you eat again. But in Netherlands, we have small breakfast, then we eat some fruits at 11, then we have lunch, which is sandwich, then in the afternoon we eat something sweet, like a cookie or something sour if you like. Sour, salty, I mean. And then at six, you have a warm meal for the night and then you're done eating. So it's like snack, snack, snack, snack. While here in Ghana, you eat heavy and then I was like, I eat heavy again and it's so different. So as a couple, we were also struggling because I wanted to find him food that he liked and that he would be full with. But that was really hard because in Netherlands, you can maybe get bread and some soup, but that's like how big the meal will get. They won't get any bigger. Did you mention bread again? So we... What usually happened was her mom, when she made dinner the previous day, she would cook enough for Kwame to be able to have the leftover, come home with it, because we didn't live with her parents. We lived with a couple of friends of hers. So come home with it so that in the morning, I can warm their rice and the meat and all those things and chow down. And that's also how we did it the second time because then Kwame visited me in Netherlands and then I would also make a bigger dinner and then he would eat it the next day. So that was our way of coping with it, but it took some time to get used to it. And food is so important. Like food is comfort. So if you're not comfortable, it was really a struggle for you. I become a completely different person. I'm hungry. So that's not also a good thing. But what about you? How was food like for you? Well, I love the Ghana food. I had to get used to the spiciness and I still am. I'm still not really a big hero with spiciness, but I think I adapted. And I love the Ghana meals. Like... Which one is your favorite? I like red red. And I like Fufu. That's my favorite with groundnut soup and goats. What was your first time? The first time I ate Fufu was at my first workplace. So my colleagues made sure that I ate well and they would also help me finding places to eat because that was a struggle for me. Because in Nellis, you don't have these street vendors. Is that why you call them street vendors? That sell the food you would go to a supermarket or you would go to a little store where they sell your US sandwich. But here in Ghana, I wouldn't even recognize that it was a food place. Like I wouldn't even know what to look for. So luckily my colleagues were very helpful with that, like pointing out what I could eat and have you eaten, okay, where would you want to get it and then it would come with me. And then one time they took me out for Fufu, but of course I knew what it was, but I never ate it before and I loved it. But I was covered in Fufu till my elbow. Soup? The soup, yeah. I was just in Fufu as well because I didn't know how to eat it. I wasn't used to eating with my hands and I love goats. So maybe that's what they did well with the first time. But the goat wasn't a polished piece of meat. Let you just eat, there was bone, there was fat, there was muscle. But that's the, you know. Yeah, but I didn't know how to eat so it was like, I think my whole face was covered in soup and meat and everything. But in anyway, I managed and I really love Fufu still. So we like to go for Fufu every Sunday. Yeah, it's our Sunday ritual. Yeah. So that's a good thing. Yeah. So that was about food for me, it was a struggle. And I think what's living in Ghana and I'm still getting used to it every day is that you move from being a majority in my own country. So in Netherlands, like I am surrounded by Dutch people so I'm in a majority. But here suddenly I was surrounded by Ghanaians and I also stood out because of my appearance. So I'm white, I'm female, I'm European, I'm tall. All these things stand out. The heights. From the norm in society here. And through my living here in Ghana it really made me aware of what all these, it made me aware of my appearance. So what effect does it have that I'm white? What effect does it have that I'm a female? What effect does it have that I'm from Europe? What effect does it have that I'm tall? All these things you kind of need to unpack to really get to know yourself well because it does have an effect on your interactions whether you want it or not. So I really try to be very aware of kind of the impact it has on like your surroundings. And I do stand out a lot. I mean, a lot of people shout Obruni and they interact with me differently. They maybe have different intentions because of how I appear in society. And I feel that's my duty to learn more about that and unpack it so I discover more about myself and also how we relate to each other in society. But I'm wondering how it was for you coming from a majority of living in Ghana, being in Ghana to switching to the Netherlands where you're surrounded by Dutch people? Oh, for culture shock. I mean, I think this conversation is something we can actually have a main conversation on later on. But for culture shock in the cities, strangely, not strangely, but in a good way for the big cities like Amsterdam, which is full of tourists and Rotterdam, which is more mixed, which I realized you didn't have people staring at you. But in cities, some parts of Utrecht and especially in Houten, that's when I could feel that I was, should I say, yes, standing out or it kind of felt out of place because for those places, people seldom see somebody like me. And so you would feel that you're standing out and the look was more like, is he lost or something? Like, you know, so that didn't feel very welcoming. And yeah, so as a black man, your appearance as a black man in the environment stood out at that moment because Houten is quite a small village and it's very white. Like, I cannot make it any other way. It's very white. So for climate to enter in that surrounding, like people would look, you'd start people wondering and even when we would walk together, we would get like... It was worse when we walked together because people would literally stare and not even try and steal glances, they would stare, like wonder what is going on, which was first unsettling and later on now it's just like, you know what? I don't care. And it was kind of fun to see the shock on their faces sometimes. And speaking of shock on faces, you know how we're used to like, buying things with cash? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like over here, you buy things with cash and you usually have your money with you. Like it's not credit card or digital payment systems, which is catching on very much. We're getting there. Yeah, but you would enter a store and Netherlands is known for, another thing I enjoyed, Netherlands is known for the discounts, especially in the summer. You see discounts on almost every store, like discount discount discount that. But you would enter a shop and I have liquid, I think fiscal cash on me almost all the time. And I think also that people look at you a certain way, it's tied a bit to looking different or being a minority because most people are stereotype there when they are my color, when they enter a place. So they don't walk into a store very confidently. That's how I have seen. Yeah, that's what, yeah. Yeah, but I didn't know that and I didn't feel the effect of it or I didn't have that. So I would usually walk into a store very like, I'm just a regular person wanting to buy something. The confidence with which I walk into a store and pick up something or whatever it is, you can see from the corner of your eye, like at the counter that they are wondering how like you're so feeling free and you pick up a sneaker or whatever it is, pick up a couple of items, put it in. And you come and they tell you it's like maybe 150 euros and you take your wallet out and not take a card out. You're taking like 50 euros three. You're giving it to the person. What happens is that they are scanning, they look, they scan like six times, they wanna check if their notice is correct and everything. So that was one of the things that stood out for me. So how you unpack this is that one, because you stood out as a being a minority and your appearance made you like remarkable for the counter person. And then secondly, because you're not used to paying by card. So the cash even made you stood out more. Which made it a weird, or it affected the interaction, right? Yeah, it did affect the interaction. So it was even a layered experience. It is a layered experience because they kind of make it seem like where did you get this money from? Yeah, that's how you felt. Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking to myself. Which I find very difficult to, not difficult. Like I want to hear it, but I also feel responsible in a way because you experienced it in my motherland. Which is, I find hard to digest sometimes that that actually happens. It's not on you. I mean, it's more the environment that responds very weirdly. But maybe we should leave that at another conversation. But for me, maybe to add one last one was at my first workplace, I was doing research and I brought my laptop because I was doing a lot of participatory observation. So that's literally jotting down everything that happens. And I remember I was sitting in a room with a lot of colleagues, but there was always so much going on. So I was listening to music just to focus on my notes and what I heard that day. And I was just typing like... I was just in my zone. And suddenly I look up and they're like literally like a group of people, like five people, so Dary and me. And I was like, oh no, what did I do? And then they were like, where did you learn how to type that fast? And I was just like, oh. Like is it a thing? I didn't even know it was a thing. Like I didn't even know I was doing it fast, like because I was just used to it. So that experience on itself like made me... Like because you move to a different environment, it makes you aware that some things are skills without even... Pass. I want to wrap it up anyway. So because you're viewed in a different environment, suddenly you see it as a skill where I just thought I'm typing just the way I type. I didn't see it as outstanding, but because suddenly your colleagues are like, oh, why did you learn how to type? I was like, oh. In my room. In my room? Like I don't know. So that's like there's always a balance in experiencing or being in a different environment. And I hope we gave you a little bit of insight into... I think there's more, but when we do remember them at some point, maybe we'll be chipping them in subsequent videos when we do show up. But if you have any questions about our experiences or maybe other questions for us as we are here, you can drop them in the comment box. I like that you're presenting. Yes, so you can wrap it up. So yeah, thank you very much for watching our video. We're going to be having these conversations as often as we can. And we hope that when we do, well, you engage us with your comments. And if you have any experiences which are similar to this, of course, let us know. And let's have conversations about these things so that we can unpack and break them down. So yes, if you like this video, give it a thumbs up, and... Yeah, thumbs up is very important. And of course, if you haven't subscribed to our channel... Our channel. Do that and hit the bell icon so that you get notified anytime we post a video. Thank you so much for watching. I like that you're presenting. See you next time. And next time we will probably talk about long distance relationship because we went through a lot. Yeah. But if you have any other comments, any other suggestions for episodes, please let us know because we want to share what we know and share our experience. We are not experts, but we are doing our best to show you a little bit of what we've learned throughout our journey. So, bye. Bye. I was quite surprised, man. You get it like that.