 Hello there, Lavaz. I'm reporting live from my brand new talk show set up here. Yes. I want these couches specifically with this in mind. So, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm on the avocado like seats right now. These are nice. They're cozy. On the avocado show. Oh my god, I love it. Avocados are actually known as the testicle tree because they grow in pairs of two, either shaped like testicles. So it's actually really fitting for what we're talking about, which is sex. Even though you don't have testicles, neither do I. No. However, we're sitting in a pair of testicles right now is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Cool. I'm gonna leave. So we're going to pause this video for just a second. I want your guys' advice. For the next sex talk video, which one of these two should I put out first? Describe a time you have given a woman an amazing sexual experience. One time. The first time I ate butt. I want some really good sex. I'd hit that person up. This other person, I was kind of like, I want to frame her and get her put in jail kind of thing. Like that's how it was. That was the difference between the two of that. If that sums it up, can like send her to war or something. I'm really excited to do this sex talk with you because I do the sex talks a lot. And guys are always really open to do it and they give a lot of good information. Women, for some reason, love learning about sex but talking about their own sex life. There would just be really uncomfortable and so the only people I mean ever was open. There's a clitoris and they love that. Okay, it's a big deal. I feel like I'm giving lessons all the time to my straight guy friends that can't figure out what is the problem. Go down a little bit more, actually a lot more. However many times that you might be going down in sex at this point, you know, triple it up. I asked you if you were a gold star lesbian and your response was? Definitely not. Definitely not. I've done it all. All of it. Done it all. Yep, yep. Well okay, so I'll talk to it. What was like, basically when I was 17, I thought I was in love for the first time. And I knew that I had a boyfriend for about a year at that point. I think we met when I was 16. And at 17, I just woke up one morning. I was like, you know what? It's time to do some sexin'. It's time to get some sexin' involved. My body is ready. I'm ready for this. I've watched enough music videos for you to know how this works, right? And so I remember I met up with my mom and I was like, hey, I'm ready for this. I feel like educated enough to do it. And we had a long conversation. She got me birth control. And then I had sex for the first time and it was with a man. What an amazing story. Yeah, my mom's pretty fucking dope. There's actually some more stories about when I came out too. She's a big part, this is weird to say, but my mom is a big part of my sexual experience. And I guess feeling very comfortable with the fact that I'm a grown woman. I like to have sex and I'm very confident and comfortable and secure with that. And I think having the mom that I did and having the upbringing that I did helped me get to that point. I'm fangirling over your life so hard right now. That's amazing. Yeah. So you had sex for the first time with a guy. Yes, at 17. And you at that time had no idea that you had an attraction to women or that was... I realized later on in life that this is very stereotypical of lesbians. But I had a best friend, right? I had a best friend when I was in high school and she was a magical, incredible, just like wow kind of person. And I never knew that the feelings I had for her were like romantic. I thought that they were just like, no that's my best friend, that's my best friend, that's my best friend. You better. I thought that's what it was. It's only like much later in life when I'm looking back on the other relationships that I've had with women that I realized like yo, I was in love with her. I was like genuinely infatuated to the point when whenever she dated someone new, it was typically a guy, whenever she dated someone new I would just get angry. I would just be like upset. I'd be like, why the fuck is he coming around? Like I don't, well he doesn't need to be here. He does not deserve you. Yeah, I would just be angry, I'd be mad. And it took me a long time to realize that was just like me not knowing how to really kind of cope with the feelings that I had and just kind of channeling them in a different direction and that being like friendship and that being like some weird hostility towards the guys that she was dating. But yeah, it took me, it took me a while. So again, I've tried it all, I've done it all. I've dated a lot of different men. I've dated a lot of different women. And I think the one thing that really like showed me that I am like just completely like full body infatuated with women is I could drop a guy like that. I could, I would be in relationships like, and these are like, let me be real. Like these were like the kind of guys that you would bring home and they'd be like, yes bitch. Like he got a job, he got a good credit score. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me. The depth of feeling that I have for men could never match the depth and like the emotional like just like all over full body like warmth, like oh my god feeling that I experienced when I date a woman and when I fall in love with a woman. So where are you on the Kinsey scale in both action and fantasy? I don't know. How would I go about that? Like finding that, Shannon. Someone doesn't watch my videos. Oh shit. You got comments. Okay, tap in. For action six, I'm six. For fantasy I'd probably say probably a five. Like I'm incredibly attracted to a lot of men. I am totally comfortable like thinking about men in like a sexual manner. I think it's just like when it passes the like sexual part that like when it's like actually like touching or even like kissing or anything like that and just like, dude, it's just not there. It feels that feels like fate for me. I'm like, I'm trying to make this work and it's not going to work for either one of us. You know, that's kind of how I feel about women. Really? I'm so attracted to women. I find them so beautiful. I love hanging out with them. But genuinely when it comes to like the thought of like taking the next step. I'm like, I don't know, but I don't know if that's a fear-based thing or if that's just my genuine authentic feelings. Cause I think if anything, I'd be very successful at it. I believe in a robotic scientific bias. I would be very successful at it. Okay. So the question I think everybody would probably have is you've had sex with both. You obviously have a preference in terms of attraction, but bias aside, not with emotions, nothing else with a straight physical aspect of sex. What is the difference between hetero and homosexual sex? Oh, wow. That's good. So for heterosex, and this is also like my inner feminists coming out, I think that like for some reason we've been like bred to think that like a man's orgasm is like that's the beginning and end and the goal of like heterosex. And I think that because when I was having sex with like a lot of younger men, cause I was young, that we both came in with like that lack of knowledge. So like I think with heterosex, it just kind of felt like a means to an end with me like giving a lot and not receiving a lot. But when it comes to like having sleeping with women like my day to day now, it's very much like a play. It's very much like, you know, there are no rules. It's like when the lights are off or when the lights are on or the doors close or whatever and we're in our space, it's just kind of like whatever feels good. Like if me touching your thigh and I don't know whispering the fresh prince like theme song, if that gets you off it will happen. Like I feel like with lesbian sex, it's just kind of like it's just two beings, two people who are so like just open to whatever that like there are no rules and there are no like there's no like strict goal, which is like I must ejaculate preferably inside of you right now. You know, like it's just like all that shit is just kind of out the window and it's just like, all right, baby, you want fresh prince? Let's do it. Let's go. Strap or no strap? Why or why not? I don't like getting strapped and I'm trying to figure out if that's because I have some like weird like complex and I have like some weird like I don't know. I'm hoping that I don't have like some what's there's like a word for this. Phobia? Maybe phobia, but like like I want to have sex as a lesbian in a way that like I'm not coming in with all these preconceived notions of like how sex is supposed to be. By nature, I like I've always been a little more on like the aggressive on the dominant side when it comes to sleeping with women. And so I want to try and get rid of a lot of that stuff when I have sex now and not like enter like a sexual experience and bring all that shit with me. So like if she's like, hey, I really would love to strap you up. I got to like deal with my own head and say like, okay, do I not want to get strapped because I have a daddy complex and I like to be the dominant one or do I not want to get strapped because it genuinely just doesn't feel good. So that's something I have to deal with. On the other side, I love wearing a strap on though. That I, oh God, that is it's there's something really like sexy and it gets me off too. Like I don't need to like, okay, maybe like take a step back. I can wear a strap on and have someone have the girl like on top of me or whatever, like me on top of her and using the strap on and I can come. Like I don't need anything else outside of just like the friction and outside of like the idea of what we're doing. I can also came from had an orgasm or whatever. I've also had an orgasm from eating a girl out. Like a lot of things like, and I don't know what it's about, but sex has become very mental for me. And yeah, and maybe you can speak about like mechanics of that or whatever. That's a great place to be because in the day, wet dreams exist for a reason. Nothing is happening, but so mentally into the idea of something going on that you can orgasm. I have had wet dreams before. I still continue to have them and I wake up from them, but I'm very specific in how I orgasm. So that must mean there's a chamber that you have entered that I'm still locked outside of. Well, I have no control of it. I don't know when I can get it's like Narnia. Sometimes I get in, sometimes I don't. Can I please? Remember me? Like I still don't know like how to really control it, but it's just like certain times like the way that I, the way that I come now it's like completely different. There are times when like all it takes is just like a little friction and like, like a touch with women. Hi. Oh, yes. Thank you. Hold on. Wait, just the back of the neck. Thank you. Shannon over your touch it like I won't do anything. See, that's the thing. See, lesbians know straight women will flirt with you like you won't do some shit. Anyways, back to your show. That's why I'd be successful at being a lesbian because a dude would be like, can you stop? I got a solid stroke game. That's one of the different questions that is popping out. Go ahead. So I do want to ask about squirting. I recently got this with two other sex experts who had both had experiences. One had experience with a partner. One had an experience only alone. I've never had an experience with it. The room would split between biosex females who had squirted and those who hadn't and it was got nasty. It doesn't mean to get nasty at all. All of our bodies function differently. We can have different ranges with our voices. Why can't we have different ranges with our body fluids? Now, a lot of people has become a new obsession. So somebody who's kind of an expert on female sexual analysis, what's your take on it? I squirt, so that's the thing. It's okay. I've never squirted in the middle of something. It's just always been like, okay, so I'll just be honest about this. Squirting is like a performance. Some people have said it's involuntary. Some people say that it is like they know exactly when to do it. It's not tied to orgasm. My sort of discomfort with squirting is that I think it's a way of hetero normalizing sex for women because men, they are like, well, when I have pleasure, something comes out. So I want you to experience pleasure, how I experience pleasure, so I want you to squirt. And I feel like that's not how it works for me. So I don't want to feel like I have to be experienced pleasure in a way that you digest for it to be validated. Right, right, right. Actually, that makes complete sense. Yeah, again, it's a performance for me. And it's normally like, if I, similar to when I asked a lover, like, hey, I want to see you touch yourself. It's similar for the people who watch me because I've never dated a girl that squirts. I'm typically the only one that does. And then when I mention that, they're just like, oh, wow, I want to see. And then I'll just do it and then we'll have sex. So to the effect of your stroke game, have you made a girl orgasm with just the strap on before? And what is the recipe for doing that? What is the recipe? The recipe. I mean, I can't lie, I have an amazing stroke game. I like sometimes like just like, I'll be, I'll like have an out-of-body experience and be like, damn, that's good. I feel like that was a really good job. I think the reason why I enjoy sex and that I've gotten, and I, like the people that I have sex with enjoy having sex with me is because I fucking listen. Like, because I pay attention. I like, I know when things are uncomfortable. I know when things are like, like I know when my partner's like not into it. Like I pay so much attention to things and I don't just like pull out the dick. Like, okay, cool. You're dry as fuck. Time to go like, no, that never happens. There's normally like, you know, like an hour and a half of like foreplay. And then before that, there's like dating and flirting and touching and like little things that happen all the way up to the point where I'm like wearing a strap on and I'm like going inside of you. And what's, I guess kind of cool about that is that your focus is completely not on your own pleasure. Not at all. It's completely on the other person's experience. Whereas I guess in a hetero situation, there's the balance has to be made between like, well, what feels good for you and what is serving me as well. You know, to preserve the erection because you could be going at a pace or at a threshold that doesn't work for you, but it's consistently good for your partner. Yeah. And I guess it's like the thing is I know with the anatomical truth is that the walls of the vagina have as much nerve ending to the back of your hand. And so there, it's a very particular, that's why I asked that question recipe because there's a very particular angle. Yeah. That would work versus the long hollow stroke that is just like doing this. It's also like, this is like getting technical, but the dildos that I typically use are curved. So I tend to use like a curved dildo that like kind of like touches lightly on the G-spot. Or that's what I've been told. Again, I'm not a sex expert. I just fuck a lot. Really an actual G-spot toy looks like you said. Yeah. So you hold it and you pull it in. And so the angle is very curved. Yeah. And there's a lot of pressure going towards the bladder. Exactly. So I just think it's a very interesting thing because like you said, like it's really a matter of you seeking pleasure out of giving pleasure. And that experience is all about listening because everyone's different. Absolutely. And the funny thing about that is that like by me, because like having sex and being strapped up and everything, like I am 100% focused on that person. I'm not really focused on my own because I especially when I was having sex with men and having sex with like other people who were like kind of focused on me, it was hard for me to get out of my head. So like that's always been a thing. Like I'm like whenever, whenever I'm like involved and the girl's like, oh, well, let me like eat you out. Let me do you now. Whenever that happens, I have to like battle all the thoughts in my head. It was like, oh wait, like why am I not enjoying this yet? Why aren't you coming faster? Like all this stuff, I have all these things going on in my mind. But when I'm focused on her, it's easier for me to have an orgasm because I am not even attentive to any of those thoughts at all. I always like to ask people because it's very easy to talk about what you like. Are you comfortable talking about what you don't like? And what are some of the things that you learned over time just don't work for you? Yeah. So I'm single. I'm single. In the 90s kind of way. Keep your head up right. My home girl's standing to my left and my right. Okay. Boom boom. It's time like loop. Check it out. Check it out. Single. Yeah. I thought, you know. Okay. So being single and being single for a long time and that wasn't I'm happy with my business is that like I'm always like with new partners safely with new partners. And because of that, I have to figure out how to communicate like what works and what doesn't work and kind of like deal with a lot of things that come with being with someone for the first time. And I always feel so bad that like basically if I just met you, I don't want you to do much to me to be honest. I would prefer everything to kind of be focused on you. I'd rather like, you know, I wear the strap on. I'll strap you. I'll, you know, eat you out, blah, blah, blah. Like I prefer things to be just because it's like it's so hard for me to get out of my mind, especially with someone new that like I typically will come by doing things with that on that person or with that person or whatever. And so, um, yeah, I think that that is always a hard conversation to have. And it's hard for me. It's not that I don't like it. It's just that because it feels like you're denying yourself a pleasure because you're uncomfortable with your body. Yeah. It's not that the case. But it's not at all. And then people take it personal. Like, oh, do you think that I'm inadequate? Yeah. Yeah. Which is, and it sucks. And it's like, and that's not, and it's never the case, but I have to like, you know, like allow the person to know that like it's okay. It's also up to other people not to personalize someone else's pleasure. Wow. Yes. Yes. No, that's a really good point. Yeah. Because we all come in with ideals of what sex is supposed to be like for someone else. And that's always the wrong approach to any new partner. You have to approach it like a tourist, not like a tour guide. Yeah. Yes. Wow. I understand from your perspective. I think my ideal relationship would be more open than not open. Yeah. But it would also, it would be very, like there'd be a very thick layer of trust and the thick layer of honesty on top of it. And I think that finding that person that would be comfortable with that is like close to impossible. So. I honestly think that when you become interested in sexuality, relationships, love and connection, that extends to your partner and that overrides jealousy. Like I'm so interested in your experiences. Yeah. Even if it's with another person, but I know we're a team. Yeah. So we come together, we share, we talk about it and I learn. I'm like, I'm interested in this part of you. Yeah. Because I'm interested in the topic. And even though I might feel a pang of jealousy, my desire to see you experience the world and experience new things and for us to come together and grow as a unit because of that overrides that small bit. I think that's what people don't understand about open relationships. Yeah. The jealousy is going to exist, but it doesn't mean that it's better or more important than what you guys benefit in terms of continuing to grow outwardly through experiences that have changed us since the dawn of time. Yeah. We remember our first kiss for a reason. Mmm. It's just special magical moments that shaped us and those shouldn't stop in a relationship if both of you guys can agree that we can grow together without necessarily having to always be together. Yes. Yes, I 100%, 100%. So it's kind of the advice you would give to a person watching this video who wants to come out. Mmm. But I don't want it to come out in terms of homosexuality because I think to me what you do really well of is claiming your authentic space in this moment. Yeah. Whatever that is for you without being a sexually open person enjoying having sex, being androgynous, being, enjoy dominating. Yeah. You've really done a good job of describing and finding where you're at today. How do you advise other people to get there? And you know what advice did your mom give to you? Obviously you played a big role in this. Yeah. Mmm. So side note, just the fact that you brought up my mom makes me laugh because when I came out to my mom, she had the funniest response. She played How Does It Feel by D'Angelo. Yeah. She played that on her cell phone and was like, if you can get through that entire video without feeling anything, then I will believe that this is not a phase. But anyways, I'd say that like, I'd say my only advice when it comes to any other stuff is just like, be kind to yourself. Be kind. I think that like a lot of us were so committed to finding an idea, finding a statement that feels good, finding a community that feels good, finding an identity that feels good. And then like putting a stake in the ground and saying, well, this is me, you know? And then putting that on the internet and like waving it around. And I think that that's like, although that can be very, you know, you can find like a home, you can find community by doing that and kind of saying like, I am this. Love me. I am a lesbian. Love me. I'm a queer person. Love me. I'm a straight woman. Love me. I find a lot of community in doing that, but I think it's a lot more, I think it's a lot safer and like just really like safer to yourself to just say I am an evolving person. I change. I have permission, complete permission to change. And I have complete permission to say like, in this space at this moment, this is who I am. Because the person that's sitting in front of you right now is light years different than the 17 year old who just told her mom she was ready to have sex with a man. You know? And I think that that's totally okay. And I think that that's actually a beautiful thing. I'm growing. I'm changing. I'm evolving. And thankfully for people like Shannon, I have the platform to kind of say that and share the owner like avocado testicles and everything. I think that that's like a very, very good, kind, beautiful thing to do is just like, give yourself the permission to evolve, to change and not put a stake in the ground so quickly to say like, this is who I am because we're all changing. We're all evolving and we're all human and human beings change. That's like the one constant, right? One constant. Yeah, that's it. Well, I have to let you go now because... Bye! Shit! You just dropped the mic and now you're a bomb. I don't want you to like, you know, because you've topped yourself at this point. I don't want people to get disappointed when the next thing on your mouth is not as prolific. Just, um... So for your sake... I love burritos. Yo, one more thing. One more, no fear. Let me just, let me just drop one more. Condom. If the moment arises, will you both want to explore? You're prepared, boo. Bringing a condom does not automatically mean that it's the right time to engage in sex. The magic word is... Yes! Use a condom every time. Responsible as f***. Is that what it seemed like? That's what it seemed like.