 Yeah, this morning in the shower was hearing the theme, but today, the last day of this this intensity, on releasing the I thought, being the awareness of dreaming, really just staying in this awareness, not being caught back, caught up again in the turmoil of the world, but just really staying above the battleground, being the observer of it all, remembering that I am the dreamer and not the character, not the hero of the dream, and really staying in this awareness and reminding me of that over and over and over again and really that's what it is about. As soon as this life story is taken seriously, then it's like we're back again on the screen, we're back in the world, the stress, their reactions and things that seem to be missing or there seems to be errors all that seems to be very, very real only because there was a thought that allowed myself to really believe, oh, that's what I am, to be limited again and contracted and it doesn't feel good when the mind is in a natural state, it's expansion, to just come back into this contraction is very painful. So, yeah, I thought that we could just probably go deeper into this idea today and really look at what is it that always pulled me back in the dream on the screen, what am I identified with or what am I scared of that I keep just going back there and it's really what we were talking about, I think the very first day about the attraction to guilt or the attraction to littleness, to believing there are problems we need to be the one in charge and making sure the world will function perfectly. Yeah, I do remember our movie to Simone and there's that one point where he kind of feels like, you know, like this character that he's invented which we talked about was very analogous to the personality self. It was way out of control and at one point it had to be stopped and at one point when he went through this whole thing he had to have her be dead and gone and when she showed up again he had somewhere indestructible or just almost like a total resignation like there's nothing I can do and I think this is where the whole journey is meeting us there's the rules for decisions section in the back part of the text where Jesus actually in the middle of one of his senses says you have no control over the world you made in other words the ego made up this world and you who still believe in the ego you have no control over the world you made and that again contradicts human experience because human experience would say that as a person I can make choices and I can control the way the script is going to go I can control my day I can decide what I'm going to do, not do, where I'm going to go where I'm not going to go there's this personal sense of autonomy that's part of being a human being that is very much a part of the ego system it's almost part of the ooh la la ego says you don't this heaven thing you don't have any choice in heaven but now you have a choice here and isn't it a great thing and even though there's a lot of frustration and guilt and anxiety associated with it we have to start to realize this what we were talking about a little this morning that this idea you have no control over the world you made is calling you to be the dreamer of the dream it's calling you to be a lucid dreamer it's calling you to be aware of dreaming and there's even one part in the text where Jesus comes right out and says that he says the awareness of dreaming is the function of God's teachers the awareness of dreaming he's calling the mind to be a lucid dreamer to relax and be aware of dreaming but pull all your fingers out of the pie don't think that you personally can fix anything that you're personally responsible for anything that's all part of the stress and we know there's a lot of stress and guilt in personal responsibility how good is good enough did I do enough did I fulfill my obligations did I live up to my standards and the ego set up the personality self to forever be stressed out about thinking that something could change something could be better there's one point where he even says to every script every day you add a little bit you know he's talking about the ego again wanting to add something like sprinkling it with its own seasoning of control and in the end it's the ego's own desire for using control in the world as a way of defending against the truth as defending against annihilation of not existing so whenever there's anger that comes up or irritation or annoyance or even full-blown rage the most important thing to remember is that it is not your rage it is the ego's rage at God the ego's rage saying give reality to my fake world come on God I'm gonna wait as long as it takes just come on do it give reality to fiction give reality to images and there's a rage of the ego you know how in the matrix the song at the very end of the matrix the first matrix was rage against the machine that was the song it was playing and this is the ego's rage against God of wanting to have a separate identity wanting to have a unique individual separate identity apart from divine creation and hoping that if just like a child who does a temper tantrum if I scream and kick and rage enough maybe mommy and daddy will give in you know we of course tried that tactic when we were younger some of us still tried a bit but it's not gonna it never really works and it will never work God's not going to finally say okay I'll grant reality to the fake images it's just not gonna happen so if that rage is not truly our own rage it's the ego's rage and the only thing we can honestly do is give up the ego if we want to not experience its feelings because our true feelings aren't rage God didn't create us to rage it's just not part of our our creative ability it's not part of our creation but it starts to get down to the real core of things when there's a belief that I can control outcomes that really are part of a prearranged plan it's back to that thing I talked about early on about the scriptures written the rage is saying no no no I don't like the scriptures written idea I want free will and the course says God created you with free will but you have free will in heaven you have free will as you were created that's what free will is free will does not mean free choice in this world that's a common misperception to think that free will means free choice we don't have free will in this world there's no justice here there's no fairness here it's a world of distractions it's a world of smoke and mirrors and there's no free will in time and space and so if we want to be truly free we really need to learn how to let go and go back to our experience of the kingdom of heaven where we can regain our experience of free will because we were given free will but it's not the kind of free will that the ego likes to think I'll do whatever I want whenever I want however I want and you know whatever I'll get as much money and as many toys as I need to accomplish my freedom of the body my freedom of the personality and some of us have tried that as well and we still feel upset we never quite make it to the point where we can go I have attained free autonomy and now I'll just bug off God we never quite even if we did there's still an aging body there's still a death of it that's right there's something there's always something there to remind me that I haven't I haven't actually succeeded at that and hallelujah you know that's why we're here we're here to we're here to to say okay I admit it I surrender I yield surrender isn't loss surrender isn't losing surrender is coming back into the glory it's only in this world where we think surrender it's two countries fighting and the one that surrenders is the loser but not with God surrender is a good thing it's the best thing other than other than trying to fight against our divine love and divine will and we know every day there's those little moments that come about through the day those little would I rather be right or happy moments we know that we all go through those moments would I rather be right about the way that the ego set this world up or would I rather be happy and by the go that's what our practice is that's what our spiritual practice is