 That should taste dope as hell. He had it super lame Hey guys, this is my review for the dark tower a film. I was quite interested in mainly because this is Supposedly Stephen King's magnum opus. This is a series It's based on the series of books that he's been writing for some of like 30 years It's a series I've been meaning to get into but admittedly the trailer looked cool The idea of mixing science and sci-fi and fantasy all together looked like a really cool combination This film also has two of the biggest actors in Hollywood right now Idris Elba is a cool gun slinger and Matthew McConaughey is a Jersey Boy douchebag sorcerer Somehow they're both kind of lame the film focuses on a kid named Jake who's obsessed with this world that he sees in his visions He's he wants to go there. He wants to figure out what they mean. Everyone else thinks he's crazy He finds a way to go there and then he meets the people who is he he's obsessed with He gets entangled in this battle and they come back to the real world at one point. It's all about trying to save this tower Yeah, that keeps the balance of the universe in check and blah blah blah If I did not mention the name of the kid and I did not mention the tower You know what other movie I would have been describing fucking last action hero This movie is the last action hero and I find that interesting that No one else has really said that in the reviews of at least from what I've seen Because the similarities between these two movies is nuts the movie itself though. There's this really cool world that is ripe and open to explore and they don't fucking do that at all now It's really weird when considering certain films like say Jupiter ascending that spend way too much time world building and This one doesn't do it at all. There's all these elements the idea that there's computers There's that guy who was the stoner from the frickin cabin in the woods There's these demons that are trying to break through the man in black is obsessed with destroying the tower So we can bring the demons in somehow this connects to the real world and there's no Explanation how any of this shit works now one bothers to explain even for like five minutes And what's really weird is this film goes back and forth between really good pacing and really bad really quick shit For instance the beginning of the movie starts off actually pretty solid Then it really ramps up and it just rushes through shit at at one point They're in this village in the other world and they spend like 20 fucking minutes there until there's a action scene but then But literally the build-up to this action scene took so fucking long because there's so much unnecessary Padding at this part, but then we move on and then it speeds up again and all this garbage It just drifted over Jackie Earl Haley's in this movie for Reasons you don't even know why he's in it. He's just there now Idris Elba has elements as the gunslinger as this guy who's kind of down on his luck but he's been beaten but he's just obsessed with revenge and You're kind of rooting for him cuz he does some cool shit with some guns But I think Idris kind of phones it in to be honest the same thing for Matthew But it's not just because of how they're acting is what they're limitedly given They're given such little room to really delve into these characters Matthew McConaughey as a person you like him so much And you don't he doesn't really do anything evil sure he does a few things that are kind of evil But in terms of actually being the big bad bad I didn't really feel it I didn't feel that he was evil in this movie Just I guess because how he was delivering the character it is so limited because it's PZ 13 There should be blood fucking everywhere and there's none of it the fight scene There's a fight scene between Matthew McConaughey and Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey can catch bullets and shit You would think that'd be cool, right? It looks so stupid. It looks so lame I never thought I'd say that Matthew McConaughey catching bullets was super boring and That's the biggest problem. This movie is as boring. I almost nodded off like three times watching this There's a lot of elements of the dark tower that made me want to get interested into it There is little speaks here and there of cool Interesting elements the kid is actually probably the best actor in the whole movie and he's with two juggernauts It's just not a very investing film It sucks because Sony totally tries to set up a franchise that the film suffers the most from a Completely really short one time there could have been at least another 25 minutes at it and no one would have given a shit I don't understand why it had to be so short and what's funny too is a Vickery Goldsman's then I totally pronounced his name wrong This is two shitters for him this year because he had a hand in the story in the screenplay for the last night And now he's got involved with this garbage anyways guys my final rating for the dark tower is a 2 out of 7 It's just a waste of opportunity plain and simple one of my friends I'm gonna use your quote here James. He called it the Toyota Camry of movies and That's that's pretty accurate anyways guys. I hope you enjoyed this review. See you guys next time