 Me and Nala are having a night in with some durian. Just picked some up earlier I'm not bragging or boasting. You know, I like to show off my durians when I get them so Yeah, at least I will be Enjoying that tonight Unfortunately, I don't know about dogs but cats cannot eat durian as anyone Try durian here. Let me know Down below in the comments. All right, let's talk about this The narcissist indirect communication mode I've done a video on this before and Now I'm going to talk about it in this live video indirect communication or Directed conversation as some people may call it if you search on Google that's The best way to find out more information about it But back when I originally started talking about this, which is probably Coming up to four years ago now. I had named it Indirect communication And this is where they are indirectly Communicating with you Well, they could be Directly communicating with you But it has an indirect meaning So they're not being Direct with you. They might be saying one thing But then it's intended to have a double meaning And of course when you're dealing with narcissists, you can be sure that the alternative Meaning to their communication It's always going to be something negative It's intended to induce anxiety and stress within you It's meant to make you feel bad about yourself Because remember these people don't feel good about themselves So they don't have any love or goodness to give to you They can only give you what they've got And unfortunately what they've got is negativity What they've got is their own self-hatred which they pour onto you But yeah, they will engage in this indirect communication They may talk to someone While you are there or while you're able to hear the conversation and They may be talking about you indirectly and they will say things that Only you would know So other people who are listening, they won't be aware of it They won't realize that you are the target of their indirect communication Or in some situations they could be in on it They could be cooperating with the narcissist To irritate or upset you and it's very cruel But this is what these types of people have to do You have to remember the very miserable people they have to get by somehow They have to find some way to feel better about themselves Because the last thing they want to do is self-love We might self-love and we'd probably rather do that than hurt anyone But narcissists that's the last thing they want to do because they can't deal with the shame As I've said before the shame-based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame So instead they put that shame onto you. It's either fear guilt or shame or desire They always have to put these feelings onto you because they can't deal with it. They can't accept it They disown these parts of themselves and they assign them to you. So how do you deal with it? When a narcissist or whoever it is Who's engaged in this indirect communication and they're upsetting you they're provoking you to react How do you deal with that? The best thing you can do in that situation Is first to become aware of it realize what they are doing Give it a name Call it indirect communication Say that back to yourself. So then you recognize what it is And When you recognize what it is Then you need to focus on how you're going to deal with it and the best way to deal with it is to take a deep breath and Use the observe Don't absorb technique So see it as an observer You can listen to what they're saying Don't try and fight it because What you resist persists Remember that if you try and resist something it will persist It will get worse And it will Eat away at you It will have an even greater effect So just let it be there. Don't try and fight it and If they try to bring you into this conversation Then You can just respond don't react Don't let your emotions get involved in it Because that is exactly what they want you to do When they're doing this they want you to react They want you to get emotional That's their narcissistic supply it fuels them They make some feel alive Everything they do it's just for a reaction and they want you to agree with it They want you to identify with it as though Whatever they think That is the truth Their opinions become facts in this Alternate reality that they have created But there is no truth As shakespeare once said there is no Good or bad But thinking makes it so And that's another thing you need to remember if you want to detach from it Because they want you to react They want you to identify with it And you just have to look at it like No That's not me And that's why i'm not bothered by it. That's why i'm not gonna react That's why i'm not gonna fight it Because i don't identify with it anyway So why would it bother me? I don't know what character you're describing Or what situation you're talking about but it has nothing to do with me That's the mindset you need to have When you're dealing with These types of personalities And that is the exact mindset they don't want you to have And that's why they're so persistent with it How they can go on and on they'll do anything they can to pull you in To get you to react emotionally And you just have to accept it let it be there Or just go to another room Focus on something else Yeah, that's just what you've got to do when they do this stuff It's crazy when you think about it And it's really sad but You've got to look at it like Wow Am I really that important to you? Am I really that significant that you have to go out of your way to do this stuff? Because that's really it You know if someone isn't important to you You know it's just another person Another person at your job Another person walking down the street, you're not even gonna notice them They're not gonna mean nothing to you But you just seem to stand out to these narcissists Why? Think about that Well, it must be because you're pretty damn special Because we as we know they only target the best of the best But that's not how they want you to think They want you to think it's because there's something wrong with you But it's very contradictory Because usually if there's something wrong with someone And they're bad for whatever reason You leave them alone. You forget about them You don't keep checking in on them And I think sometimes they don't realize that we know they're watching We see them sneaking in Having a peek They think we don't know Of course, we know We know when they're watching us And even if there's not Any clues or signs We just assume they're there We do Because we all know what narcissists do We know they can't leave things alone We know they're very obsessive But sometimes you just got to sit back and laugh and be like I'm not really surprised you're taking the time to engage in this Indirect communication towards me Because yeah, I guess I am special I am important I stand out so of course you're going to take notice of me Of course you're going to get envious and jealous and competitive and try to tear me down because you're very insecure, aren't you? That's what you've got to tell yourself in your mind That's how you deal with it Yeah, you just got to see it as a joke It's something to laugh at really, I mean It's not something you should take seriously You've got to get to the point where when people do this stuff You're just trying not to laugh Because you realize that it's just crazy That someone would actually take the time out of their day to do that It's like haven't they got anything better to do Haven't they got anything more significant in their life? Obviously not Or maybe you're just so special and important that they just get distracted From all that other stuff All right, that's it. That's all I've got to say for this one But I hope you all had a good laugh and I hope you will remember this message anyone Whenever anyone tries to Do this to you Because it is very weird It is very strange All right, if you enjoyed this please Give the video a thumbs up down below And as always share your thoughts in the comment section Coaching I am available Go to narcsurvivor.co.uk to book a session with me and Also check on my instagram. It's narcsurvivor youtube New pictures and videos every day And I am accepting donations now as well As we were recently demonetized on youtube So I'm no longer getting that ad revenue Which I was using to pay for the video editors And everything for the The narc survivor ltt business So if you'd like to contribute to our community And to this great course you can do that Through my paypal. It's paypal.me slash narc survivor All right, thank you all and I'll talk to you in another one very soon