 Goodbye to this life, struggling and fighting, just getting by screaming. Because the Course is really saying, you know, just open yourself to the Holy Instant and say to God, be you in charge, where I would but follow. And, you know, this is a journey that we can't really look, we can't really look to history to show us how we're going to take this journey. We have to rely more on our feelings, our emotions, and our experiences. And we feel our heart opening up and we go, okay, something good is happening. This is a good direction. We feel that gratitude to start to pour out and that love. And it just lets us know we're on the right direction. So, in one sense that's really helpful because, you know, the Spirit can speak through your brothers and sisters and it's very much that if you have something that you're kind of blind to but you have the real sincerity to open this, then the answer can come from any direction in many directions. And that's something that I found was always so beautiful about these kind of retreats and even about traveling. What a glorious first trip, go meet those that have dedicated their life to the Course. So, if there was any kind of fear or doubt or embarrassment or shyness or confusion or whatever and you're sitting down at the kitchen table, you know, and Robert's saying, can I fix you an omelet? Okay, great. I'm happy to be in the kitchen just talking and listening. It's going in this practice of this book, Course in Miracles. So, I think that's where my wish for everyone coming here is that may this be imminently practical because we're really unwinding from a self-concept that has been a preoccupation for all of us. We seem to come to this world, we seem to make a self-concept and for a lot of us, we got pretty good at it. You know, we even met the world on the world's terms and became what the world would call somewhat successful. And then at some point, I'm like, hmm, excuse the saying, excuse the saying, there's something, something's not right. If I'm doing this well and everybody's telling me I'm doing this well, why don't I feel this bursting sense of fulfillment? Why is there still something shaking underneath there? It's just an inkling of, hmm, there's a healing that needs to occur. Like, Greg was talking about just falling apart. I thought of the scarecrow and the Wizard of Oz when he gets all the straw knocked out of him and he's just haul over the road in the Wizard of Oz movie. And then his mighty companions are there. It's hard to scoop up the straw and stuff it back in there, you know, and get him back up on the Yellowbrick road. You know, that's a beautiful little symbol there of allowing yourself to just fall apart. And as you've known yourself and crack open and we were talking a little bit about New Year's Eve and New Year's resolutions and everything and what all would be given up for the New Year and Ricky said, do you want to tell them what you're going to give up for 2014? Ricky. She's got to go. She's just been peeling off every day a little more and so and then there's so much, you know, there's humility, there's tumbling, but then it's so joyful. Like, say, for instance, as little children, you know, it's kind of like that I don't know anything and then that just awareness that I can't give anything to myself. That would be even close doing, you know. So Ricky's just got to go. She does not know her own best interests and she's, yeah. She's crazy. She's all over the place. It's all been used too. There was a time where Ricky goes to Europe, which was, that was an adventure. And just the guitar got lost and all kinds of things were shaking, the falling apart that Craig was talking about there and then Ricky goes to Sweden and we had our talk in Sweden, you know, she's like, what are my next steps? What are my next steps? No, no, nothing's coming yet. It's not yet and then we went to England and then then the download came to go to Spain. Ricky goes to Spain and you should. So, but now it's, you're just seeing it's more the self concept of identifying with Ricky. That's where the struggle comes in. But the willingness to follow, follow, follow the guidance and then start to be brought to a point where you start to say, oh, if there's any kind of personal involvement in anything, it gets to be, Christian was saying harder and harder, more of an extreme, more sensitized to it. And then Nikita's been talking about that too, about how Ruck got pulled out from under and then you've had some of those experiences pretty recently over in Hawaii and then coming to the States and just lots of devastations more recently. But we had one conversation where Ricky said, David, you know I'm willing, you know it, you know I'm willing, you know I'm willing. He said, yeah, but you're not ready. Devastation. Yeah. I was devastated when he said that. I had to look at it and wasn't it. Yeah. And so it was, it was another time of kind of devastation and so forth. But then through all that it was like the Ruck getting pulled out and then there's this experience of like accepting the gifts, the humbleness of accepting the gifts, the surrender, everything just started to come in really fast after that seeming devastation. And then you were actually several weeks ago actually able to say, I'm ready. I'm ready. It kind of caught up, you know, and you knew it. You felt it. And then there was no going back and thinking that something could have been different or you made any wrong turns or you made mistakes or looking at it from the typical ways of the world. You know, just looking at the scorecard going, oh, the scorecard doesn't look good. It was, it was just the rejoi and the rejoicing of I'm ready. It's like hand in there scorecard. Totally. Give it over. Ready for what? Ready for the next? Whatever it is, whatever it is, like knowing that just like pull the rug again. Okay, because yeah, we just, we can't stay where we are. And I would have literally stayed in hell. I thought I was safe there and comfortable and I was just looking for more hell and more comfort. I don't know what happened. I just, yeah, actually I just surrendered. Like I was like, I'm just going to do what, try this given thing on, like, you know, and just pretend like that what's in front of me is supposed to be there and then buy it for a second. But I didn't. I was like, you have got to be insane. You know, this is not, yeah, I just couldn't believe any of the gifts were for me. And so yeah, I have been wrong. So now it's just exciting. I really don't ever have to, you know, fight what's given again or question it.