 Oh god, I have to pause this. That is... Oh, that felt horrible. I remember now. I remember everything. Why is this up on my channel? So this is the third time I'm now going downstairs to get my computer, which is the thing I've gone downstairs three times now to get. It's the end of a long day. I have no brain. Remember the computer. Remember the computer, Joe. Ta-da! Hello there, my beautiful, lovely, intelligent, talented, sweet, and delightful internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today on a monumental day in my life, and actually that's not facetious. It is a pretty big deal today. Well, hello there, my beautiful internet friends. Now, before we dive in, I want to make a quick edit because I lied unintentionally in this video. I'm gonna say in this video that we are celebrating today the one-year anniversary of my second amputation, but that's not entirely accurate because someone, someone in charge of editing in this department, aka myself, I did not get the editing done in time, so this is a couple days late. The actual anniversary is August 27th. Ironically, that's also my wedding anniversary. Happy five years to us. So please forgive me that this is a few days late, and without further ado, I hope you enjoy it. One year ago today, I had my right leg removed again below the knee. What happened, if you aren't familiar with my channel, is I had a leg amputation in October of 2018, and it failed, and so I had to have it redone. I mean, they had to go in and take another inch off my leg and restart the whole process, and that was a pretty scary big deal for me. Allow me to supply you with the handiwork, the proof that this actually happened, and not only that, but I also have a number of videos from the time of my second surgery. However, a few months ago, I realized, I have no recollection of making these videos, and when I say I have no recollection, I mean, I actually have no clue what is in those videos. Here's a fun fact. I was pumped full of a lot of pain medication, especially that second amputation, and I function very well under heavy medication. At least I look like I function very well, but unbeknownst to me, there are about two weeks of my life that are just missing. In fact, I had friends who came and visited me, who I had no idea had come and visited me for months until they referenced it. That was embarrassing. So what I wanted to do today to celebrate the anniversary of one year down with an amputation that actually worked, finally being able to do things, getting out, getting hiking, getting moving, getting stronger slowly, but surely is watch some of those videos. I've intentionally saved these for this particular video. Like I thought about at least previewing those videos when I realized that I had no recollection that I made them and just being like, what did I say in those videos? But I trusted the fact that if I had said something bizarre, someone probably would have told me by now and decided to go on faith and wait until today to watch those videos. Let's dive in as we do so. If you wouldn't mind hitting like on this video, hitting subscribe on this channel, that would be absolutely fantastic. If you felt like it, no pressure. Huh! I survived second amputation. I think that should be I survived the second or my second amputation. Apparently my grammar skills were not top-notch while drugged out of my mind. Ta-da! Oh. Good morning, my beautiful internet friends. That is- Oh my God! Okay, so this is, guys, what I need you to understand is that I look like I'm talking like a normal human, sleepy, but a normal human. I, my brain was really drenched in chemicals and it blows my mind how much of a sentence I could put together. It's been a minute since I talked to you guys. I just want to drop in and say that everything went really well. I know so many of you guys have sent me messages saying you're thinking of me and praying for me and- Okay, so okay. Just commenting that way. All right, more of the video I watch. I noticed that I am pretty out of it. I'm still stringing sentences together, but they're a little slow. With any luck, I should be able to get a prosthetic leg at like eight weeks post-surgery. And I did! Which is cool. I didn't know it then. Obviously I had no idea what the future was gonna hold and I was really scared. So we have come to my amputation, losing more of my leg video. It has a number of views on it, right? Like 300,000 people have viewed this video, but I have no idea what I said in it. So this will be a surprise to all of us. We're going to start with the moment that I was waking up from amputation. How do you feel? Emotional. Very tired. Emotional and very tired. To be fair, I don't think that was the actual moment I woke up from anesthesia. That's the moment they wheeled me into the hospital bed. Okay, so as I'm watching this, some of it's coming back. You wake up with just the doctors and nurses generally speaking and they kind of have you come to a little bit before you're able to see your family. I do remember waking up with the nurses. I remember being upset that Brian wasn't there, but I wasn't in a ton of pain that time, which was awesome. Pain last night was horrible, but they finally got things more even though. I know they kept me there for five days, meaning that the pain was pretty significant. I remember, like I said, flashes. I remember it was not a fun experience. There's so much of this that is just missing from my brain. But I'm sure it will be a-okay. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's not always okay. Sometimes things go horribly wrong. I love him so much. He has my little pessimistic, realistic, adorable husband and the best support in the entire world. What are we doing today? So I have weird allergies to things and surgeries and I was itching and itching all night last night and I asked the nurse to check on things and they said everything was fine. Then I asked them to check again today. And an interesting development occurred. So this now what my back looks like. That is-oh, that felt horrible. I remember now. I remember everything. Not quite everything, but I still have scars from that. Just so we're clear. Oh, but just wait, just wait until later videos for more of a crazy allergic reaction. Okay, so after that they were able to get the pain under control and I go home, but what happened next? I am back at home from the hospital and there are so many things I have to tell you. So many things that have happened and not gone according to plan. And holy crap, it has been an adventure. Whoa, do you hear that coming in the music? I was apparently alive in my brain enough to be like, this deserves a soundtrack and edit in some music. And then this happened. So this is a problem. My cast just fell. I am so tired. I am so, so tired. You can just see it in like my drooping eyes and like barely being able to put words together. Poor baby Joe from a year ago. Literally just fell off my leg. I am so tired and so exhausted and I- There we have it, yep. I guess the thing to do would be to get the cast back on my legs so let's try that. You're a real thinker Joe. What the heck? Oh no. Oh it pains me. It pains me to see me try to do this and like scrape my incisions back into the cast. Okay so this is like a day or two after I got home. Ah, I do have a vague recollection of filming one single shot of this video. I remember thinking I should really get my cast back on before I film this but I'm gonna blame it on my chemical soaked brain that I was like, let me film it first. Maybe not the smartest decision but it worked out just fine. I wanted to hop on here and give you guys like a day 12 after amputation kind of update but I can't do that without telling you a little bit about what's been going on behind the scenes because holy crap. Yeah, something happened and we need to talk about it. Pain and just out of it and just felt just ugh you know and he was like, well let's just take your temperature and it turned out that I had a fever of over 100 which surprised me because I was like I'm fine like don't worry about it I'm totally fine and we don't even need to take my temperature but he was like yes we do and I'm glad that he insisted on that. That's because Brian's a smart person. I'm really talking up Brian a lot in this video but to be honest he totally deserves it and there's nothing he can do to stop me from talking about how cool he is. So there. Brian was like really insistent that I go up to Denver the next day and get the cast off and like talk to my doctors and I was I'm gonna be honest I was like really stubborn and did not want to go. I was. That sounds like me. Pretty sure I felt Brian pretty hard on this. Pulled me up to Denver and I was super ticked off about it because I'm like everything's fine like it's gonna be all right guys. I was so wrong. I was wrong. So we get to Denver we get to my prosthetics office and he goes to take it off so he's um taking the cast off and as he starts like unwrapping the gauze I start kind of panicking I notice something and I'm like oh shit there is something on my leg and oh dear there was something on my leg this is what we found lurking underneath my cast why? What the hell? I'm not squeamish but that makes me want to go throw up it doesn't look good that was on my skin I also still have very faint scars of this infection or skin reaction I mean for the for the fact that I don't remember filming or editing this video like I remember snippets of that zombie leg day because that'll get seared in your memory but I edited decently well like there are parts I would have taken out now with a with a full brain but totally stoned out of her mind Joe and its videos all right I mean like it's not bad I wouldn't recommend it but it's not bad what else we got heavily drugged amputee dot dot dot fails I'm not sure that I want to watch this come back to day 13 of post amputation round 2 recovery since my cast fell off I have been wearing the belt that I need to when I get up and do stuff let me let me tell you guys good job Joe classy I think I'm gonna start a new fashion statement with it and just like keep this trend going even if I don't have to wear it anymore because guys this look is hot let me show you we got this uh nice where did I get this music from we just cinched that on in guys oh my god there we have it there are two things that I feel that are really important to share right now first of all I tried to take the battery out to start my camera drugs are fun kids don't do them secondly do you have any idea how hard it is when I'm stuck at home all day alone knowing that my leg is like a zombie underneath my cast also knowing that my cast comes off because you know this happened my cast just fell off literally just fell literally just fell off my leg to not take my cast off and just see how it's doing just see how things are coming along just see if maybe the zombie leg invasion has spread and I know I'm coming home right now oh my god this is what I was this is what I was obsessing over during the day it makes sense frankly it does make sense life is pain life is pain all right joe calm down honey oh my god did I do amputee ASMR when I did that when I was still recovering from surgery okay I do remember I think I remember filming this video but I'm curious how bad it is because I was still drugged up at this point you know how ASMR like makes your skin do the weird crawling thing it definitely makes mine do the weird crawling thing oh god this is this is cringy okay I have to stop this video right now why is this up on my channel okay so this is about the time that I start remembering more of memories like I remember filming editing the rest of the videos at least I have some vague recollection as I was like coming to from my body being drenched in narcotics like I want to say that no one should let me edit and film videos when I'm heavily drugged but at the same time those weren't that bad all things considered so maybe they should I don't know um it was weird going through that and being like oh yeah I remember that oh yeah I remember that I think more of my memory is there than I think it is it's just fragmented and just weird feeling and I still have absolutely no memory of my friends coming to visit me and I'm sure there's other things that I don't really recall as I kind of alluded to in some of the video the pain from the second amputation was a little more severe like it extended out a little further than the first one so I was on a different cocktail of medications and I think one just sort of like wiped my brain a little bit more than the others but it was fun going back through that it was also weird I'm like oh yeah that happened oh yeah that happened too and that other thing but at the end of the day I'm here I made it through and I'm really excited more excited than I can tell you I'm really excited to say that I'm one year out now and I made it and it was a good thing I was really scared that it was all for nothing I was really scared that I was going to have to go through that second amputation which was not a thing I ever would have chosen to go through and that it wouldn't work and that I'd be in the same place and I'd never be able to leave as a prosthetic leg and I don't know what tomorrow is going to hold but I know that today I've been able to wear my leg I was able to clean my house I worked out for 40 minutes this morning I'm moving forward and there's still lots I want to do that I can't do just yet and there are pieces to figure out at the end of the day I'm so grateful I'm so grateful for this past year it has been absolutely incredible to be able to move forward and to see why this all happened in the first place why I went down this path so I could get active again so I could live in less pain and guess what today almost two years after my amputation a year after my second amputation I am in less pain and I am able to do more more than anything can I just say thank you thank you so much for being here I can't believe that some of you were watching those videos as I was publishing them I know that many of you have been watching this channel for a while and so many of you saw those videos from Barry Drug Joe when they came out and you remember them more than I did you're still watching this channel now you've watched this whole journey and I don't know so many of you like I may never meet you I hope I get the chance to but holy cow guys you've chosen to invest you know minutes out of your life watching mine and hearing about mine and it feels surreal and it's such an honor I'm so grateful for each and every one of you and I really really mean that I don't take any of this for granted it is it is astounding and humbling to me that you want to hear what I have to say or just that you're here so thank you thank you so much thank you to my patrons who continue to support this channel who have supported me for the last year and a half it has made such a difference I cannot tell you truly thank you and I'm gonna end it there this was fun to go back through I'm gonna let you in on a secret I'm thinking for the two year anniversary of my amputation I'm gonna go back through the first videos I ever made on this channel which are videos when they still had two legs when I was trying to make the decision to amputate or not I have not gone back through those videos I think it might be a little emotional not in a bad way just like oh wow wow that was I was trying to decide if I should change my life forever and take one of the biggest risks you can take and watching that thought process and watching what I went through I think I think that's what I'm gonna do for my big two year anniversary the two year anniversary is also the one year anniversary when I got this prosthetic leg so it's a good anniversary but full of memories and emotions anyways thank you for being here you could be anywhere in the world doing anything right now and you chose to hang out with me and watch a very drugged show I did very drugged videos and it means the world to me that you chose to hang out with me for a little bit I love you guys I'm thinking of you and I'll see you in the next video bye guys