 Good morning. Good morning everybody Welcome to class. Hope all of you are doing well. Thank you for joining in on time Welcome to all our e-learning students as well Yeah, I hope all of you are doing doing good as well just a couple of announcements before we get started this week is your Week your first assessment for the online students who are here right now with me the Assessment has been put up on the street You have time till the 14th of March to complete it. So please ensure that you do this goes into part of your Final grades. So this is important to Complete as I ensure that you do this by by the 14th of March And for the e-learning students as well, your graded assessment has also been put up. Please ensure that you Attempt those because they're graded. They are marked and will also score into your final grade as well And I do see from for the online students one one student has already completed their Better assessment. So yeah, so it's it's easy just ensure that you can you could you can attempt this only once So please be careful while you read the question. You won't be able to attempt a second time Okay, especially unlike the e-learning students where you have your knowledge check You have two attempts here. You have just a single attempt. So be careful as you read through and Attempt your questions Okay. All right. So let's move ahead into class. I hope Y'all took time I had I had put up the video that we had that I had showed you in part last time I couldn't show you the entire thing, but I hope you all took the time to go back and Look at the video. It's it's very useful when you have a live experience Live counseling session that's happening and you know, you're able to learn from that So for those of you who have not a lot of the skills we learned last week And maybe one or two that we're going to be doing this week is there in that video So please go back and check and I have a couple of videos today also to show you which I will put in the stream So that you know, you can you can at any time go back to it and have a look. All right, so Is everybody well did hear even one voice? Thank you, Divya for the message. Nice to meet you. I hope all of you are all okay Everyone's okay Yes, best Okay, good. All right. Yes. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Right. So Quickly just to recap Anyone would like to just in a couple of sentences talk about what we did last week Yes, Divya, go ahead. Yeah. Thank you, ma'am. Yeah, we went through the skills attending skills and also how I think in listening it can be done through listening observing And in listening we talked about verbal visuals, vocals, verbal Then body language Yeah, and And also listening we talked about I believe clarification summarizing paraphrasing Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's what I remember Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. That is that's that is an excellent effort. Okay. So were you all able to use any of this in your Or take some time to You know in your daily interactions with people were you able to Use any of this anybody? Yes, the eye contact one It was really helpful the cycle around the face that was helpful and also Okay, our attention to the person who we are listening to is Something which I personally couldn't work out this week Okay, very nice. Great. Okay, good. So, um, yeah, if it's not for counseling You can actually use these skills even for your interpersonal relationships and They really do help. Okay. So now these were some some of the things that that did we just spoke about we looked at attending in the three V's and plus body language plus three V's was verbal voice and Visuals and B was body language We spoke about the solar, right? We spoke about how we can also attend by listening and observing and certain skills of active listening Now and these are there some of these are there in that entire video It's around the 12 or a 13 minute video and that's why I didn't want to play the whole thing But it's there. So please ensure that you do that. So the next skill that we are going to be Um, studying today is the skills of responding Now the skills of responding, uh, are, uh, you know, are equally important And in fact, this is something, uh, this this skill, uh, is what really ties in your entire Counseling session the way that you respond Actually steps forward into what how your your session could go, right? So it is it's something that is useful throughout Uh, your entire counseling process and of course especially in the early phase because It's all about exploration. It's all about finding out. So the way that you um, actually respond really helps the counseling to Uh, open up a lot more to to bring up a lot more of details Then then what may come about if If we aren't keenly number one listening and attending and secondly responding. So what's the purpose of responding this, uh, the purpose is to help a counselor to clarify What information is coming not just to clarify but also to encourage the client's Details or the stories that the client comes up the other counsel counseling comes up with. Okay. Now this is uh, This is also a great skill to teach, um, your counselors What to do or when responding to each other. So for example when you're having a couple together This becomes a great skill to teach them how they can respond to one another, right? and and as they listen to you and as You bring a bring about the right kind of responses. They're also learning or picking up Doing the same thing. So you're actually staying as an example in the way that they can they can respond So what what in in When you break responding down It lets your counselor know that he or she has been heard Has been understood is being cared for and is supported It makes when you respond rightly You will find that a person feels a sense of being cared for or being understood It also gives the counselor a feedback on What he or she said has come across it It when I respond and if I hear my counseling either giving me a positive answer or a negative answer It still clarifies and gives me a certain feedback about what I said has come across to them It allows also the counselor To check on your accuracy accuracy In hearing what you what was said in also the assumptions you've made in maybe noticing something that They have not said but maybe are implying to say it helps you to check your accuracy It also when you are responding responding It helps the counselor avoid that illusion that you have understood Like when they say For example your your counseling may say something like Yeah How was your week been or my week's been well Right and now we're making assumptions whatever that week means. So so you're saying I'm glad that you found that your week was well. Would you like to elaborate on that? So when I'm doing that I'm actually actually helping the counseling Tell me more details about the well of the week or the okay of the or whatever they've been through So really clarifying because sometimes we use some of these words very flippantly and we have not really We may not really pick that pickup like for example your counseling may say I feel extremely depressed So then you know, we have an understanding of the word You may have an understanding of the word But the word as it seems to them may be quite different or it may have a lot more of layers to it. So really to help in In avoiding that that Illusion that that you have understood. Okay, so it clarifies a lot more. It also helps to prevent That that space in which a counselor may be Inattentive during the conversation like for example when the stories are going on really long Your mind takes a vacation. You know, you're either sleepy or you know, you've heard so much or sometimes maybe the details that they give are Really like for example, uh, you know, I keep when I have Counselors who come and who are talking about very technical things like maybe something about their work is very technical And you know, they're sharing something about that. I'm not a very technical person I'm a more relational person and sometimes it's very hard to stay in tune with that So it keeps you to going on that vacation in your head, right? And you're you're being inattentive to them and it's and it and it prevents that inattentive inattentiveness That could happen. It also helps the counseling focus on On what is going on on there on their self or be able to vent out to be able to sort out their issues Um to express their feeling and also to be able to deal very effectively with emotions after this I'll show you a show you um An entire clip of how a responding happens and then you know, you Then we could get into learning about it because it will really help to connect some of these things. Okay It also helps the counseling to to move to to more Deeper levels of expression, right? Maybe a lot more. Maybe they're feeling a certain thing about something But when you keep responding, they've actually gone deeper and deeper and deeper into Really understanding something for themselves and you're doing it at their pace. You're not hurrying them up You're doing it at their pace. It also helps the counseling to think and articulate more clearly So all because they've said, okay, you're sad. I mean the person says hey, I'm feeling very depressed and uh, you're your response is moving away from that core point And you're moving into something else like for them. For example, they say I I feel extremely depressed when I'm at home Right, and if you're immediately going to jump to another thing. So what about how do you feel at office? So you you've lost out on the opportunity to really Find out or understand or help them come to a place of where they are at their home So maybe you know, a follow-up response question is um, it it seems like Like you know, like you feel extremely sad because things aren't going well in your house What what about it? Is it that makes you this depressed? So so you see it it just adds in a little bit more details They may be giving you more details or they may be able to express it themselves So they may be able to articulate it more clearly It also helps the counseling to arrive at a solution at sometimes to their own problem So as and when they come about and you will see this in the clip Some of these things you will see how beautifully it comes out, you know as the person's expressing The way that they accept certain realities or they feel that something should be done about something They begin to figure out that this is the part that I need to move into Okay, it also helps the counselor to clarify What you're expected to do. So even as you are responding to them It gives you an idea of what the next step is. What is it that we may need to progress into? All right, maybe it is an action step or maybe it is further exploration It is maybe personalizing something But it gives you a greater idea and it also helps the counselor to deal effectively with the issue or problem Or or the other needs that are raised. So so these these this kill If you look at it is is one of the most important ones during your counseling session and it is necessary to to take people through this process carefully slowly intentionally, okay, I'm just going I'll just play the Play the other The video for you so that it can help you understand just give me a minute This video is a short simulated counseling session demonstrating the basic communication skills of empathic responses and the use of silence So Joe, we've been talking about school and the conviction and I'm wondering if we can talk a bit about what's been going on at home Yeah, sure How things been going with your mom? I mean not great. Um She's been really really pissed with me ever since the conviction so Yeah, I don't know. Uh, it's it's it's been a while and nothing's changed. So I don't know Yeah, she was pretty upset about the stealing when it happened And in your word that it's going to impact your your future relationship Yeah, I mean, um, I've never ever seen her yell the way she did and it was um Yeah, I was shocking. Um She hates my friends um, but you know Other than her that's all I have. So what am I supposed to do? How does it feel when your mom gets angry like that? I mean, I don't like it. Um, but I don't really think it's justified. Um I think she has to be around more for her to really get a say in my life So you're feeling annoyed that she's getting so mad when she isn't even around to see Yeah, I mean, um, she's she's got this new relationship with um Tom uh So in like weekends, she's in white rock at his place Two three nights a week. She's you know, she's out It is what it is, you know come home empty house. So how could she Madden me for what I get up to There's no one at home It sounds like you feel somewhat neglected by your mom I mean, yeah, I guess, um, you know, we used to We were never like the closest but I mean, I thought we I thought we had a pretty good relationship. Um, you know, we'd talk we'd uh have meals together. It wouldn't be Yeah, I'd come home. We'd talk Now that just doesn't happen. I'm often home alone Don't see anybody. She's you know, all she cares about is him It feels more alone now And you're worried that you're you're not a priority for your mom anymore Yeah, I um, I guess so um I'm not um, I'm not a perfect person but um parents are supposed to stick by their kids good and bad so Yeah, must feel feel pretty vulnerable to not know how she's feeling Yeah, I mean I just um I wish she cared about what's going on in my life Are you scared that you no longer mattered to her as much as you used to? Yeah, I mean um She's um She has every right to you know, be happy with in a relationship. Um But it just feels like she's She's not prioritizing me at all and it hurts it's it's um It hurts. She's all I have You care about your mom and you want her to be happy and you want her to have a life But at the same time you hope that you could be a part of that life Yeah, and I mean like My dad's not in the picture. So she really is all I have. She's the only family I have Right, so you're feeling protective over that real significant relationship Yeah, she's my mom I know I'm supposed to you know, I I'm supposed to as I grow up be independent, but it doesn't mean you don't need your mom anymore It doesn't mean you don't need someone still there for you Yeah How about your relationship with your dad? I mean what relationship Um, I have so little to do in his life that it's um It's it's like, uh, I don't even matter to him. So You feel pretty disconnected from him Yeah I mean, um Seems more like a Personally I see occasionally instead of a father He's got his new family now. So I you know, that's that is what it is Do you feel resentful towards your dad for having this new family? No, um I mean he was young when they when they divorced I was only four So, you know, I can't blame him for for finding a new relationship and having new family, but Just because you have new kids doesn't mean you just give up on the one you already have I just I don't think that he should have um Just written me off I can hear some sadness About about your dad not being able to prioritize all of his children Yeah, it does make me sad sometimes, you know, um I basically don't have a father and um If it hasn't happened by now it basically never will so you know, I just have to accept that. That's just the way it's going to be The part of you has resigned to that acceptance of superficial relationship between the two of you Sorry, okay. Yeah, um, so any thoughts about uh, how did you just a couple of Um Maybe comments about how You saw what were some of the responses of the counselor that really helped the counseling to share and to bring up What he was feeling any any comments, what did you all observe? The emotion that she said they're really nice like you're scared If Those are words they're really helpful. Uh, she really aligned Personal to the counseling that may be that's what I know He she helped him to understand what he's actually Right, she actually helped him understand what she was feeling and she A lot of times she actually bought Those emotions up in the moments and he said where he was feeling that way. He said yes when he felt differently, he said no, so you see that responding helps to clarify Whether you're making the right kind of a judgment or an assumption about where they're at. Okay Uh, what other thoughts do you all have? She really had a formula Was following but not over sticking to it. Okay All right. Okay. She had a formula. All right. That's an interesting comment, okay She was empathizing, uh very well with uh, what he was going through so he was able to relate actually so, uh more often, uh, he would say uh, like She his mother is only one I have so So she's trying to uh, you know in that responses She could infer how much he needs that relationship. So she's trying to In the subsequent questions. She's trying to bring about Uh, you know, even the father aspect to that and to understand what really is happening Right. Okay. Thank you anybody else Space and silence Rather not rushing in and making any early judgments. She's giving silences and spaces to understand Yes. Yeah, she used silent very well. That's right. Very right Yeah, I think someone's written she sounded like an expert and mindful to her profession and persona. Okay Right. Yeah. Good. Okay. So, um, This this the the art of responding is again, you know, it's a skill that we all can pick up The idea is to ensure that you go at the pace of your counseling not to overshoot and we will we will be Later on looking at something called as high risk responses, which Which is making responses before Before the time is right. Okay. So it could be different kinds of responses So just taking it little by little slowly being in the moment of allowing Your counseling to have that emotional experience that they are going through Rather than wanting to hurry them off From moving away from that significant emotion that they're experiencing into finding a solution or trying to find out an action point. So This part of it just just being able to respond is is very keen in how we We work through these skills of responding. Okay Moving on. All right. So let's just look at what What this entire thing of responding is when we're looking at responding skills So responding skills, um, it's it's like what we would call like a checking out process that is a you are expressing the essence of One is the content about what they're saying as well as the feeling that your counseling has communicated to you. So you're It's like you're checking out to see Have I got this right? Have I got what they're experiencing right? Have I got what they're feeling right? It's it's almost like a reflection. It's you're reflecting something back To really bring about an understanding. Okay, and while you're doing that you're also Of doing the next stage, which is personalizing the problem, which is helping them see what How they are contributing to the problem that is at hand. Okay Now as the listener your response needs to be shot It needs to be succinct that is, you know, very crisp And needs to be stated in your own words. So it is important to check out and verify your accurate perception Of those little segments of the person's communication to you So each of those segments what it does it captures a thought it captures a feeling or it captures a meaning Or several of these together. It can capture a thought it can capture a feeling it can capture the content It can capture the the meaning of of what they're saying all together And it could be connected in very many ways, but that that's what you're attempting to do So in this kind of response response, what you're doing is you're listening to almost like a Bite-sized piece of the other person's communication Just a little chunk you've probably taken out and you're stating the essence of it to the other in your own words So when you when you're doing that checking when you when you're checking on their communication You are also allowing yourself to digest A small amount of content and feelings rather than the whole picture together It's small small pieces that you are One for yourself as a counselor, but also largely for the counseling So when you break down this conversation in this way You're allowing both yourself as well as the counseling to focus on their abilities to manage That segment or that piece of communication that they may be going through. So that's what responsive responding does So we're going to be looking at five categories of responses. So when And these are and we will go into each of these. Okay, so generally these Responding skills could be divided into these five where you're acknowledging Where you're reflecting content Where you're reflecting feeling Or reflecting meaning and something that we called as a summative Reflection, okay, so we we look into each of this one by one So the first one is the acknowledgement responses and this like I said last time You may see a bit of an overlap in some of these skills. We spoke about Some of these in attending itself, but it's an overlap right when you're listening You're actually also you also need to respond as you're listening. So What are acknowledgement responses are? brief one or two three word statements Or certain non-verbal gestures These responses, what they what do they demonstrate? It demonstrates to the counselor that you are Following with them you are alongside with them through that conversation So such response help the other person know that you are being listened to So when someone's talking when you're not just looking into the eyes of the person that's I you know for maybe when you are Probably when you're preaching right or when when you're when you're when you're talking to a whole crowd You you don't get The only back only feedback that you're getting from another person is the way that they nod their heads Right, the people can be looking straight into your eyes, but then maybe absolutely lost So in the same way in a when you're when you're in a one-on-one interaction with a counselor It's just not enough to just you know, stay silent and look quite blankly at them. These These are responses really help to To to make The counseling field that that there is a listening. There is an acknowledgement. That's that so examples of this are You know, how about that or uh-huh? Go on yes, sure You know, or did you do that or you know, that sounds good, right? Whatever, you know anything that helps them to see that you are In course alongside with them Okay, the second kind that we're looking at is what we're saying is the reflecting content The reflecting content is listening accurately To Anna to the other person to the counseling and reflecting the essence of the content To the to your counseling in your own words. Okay, so it's it's listening plus The essence of the content. So this is what you're doing here is You focus on the content of what the counseling Counseling is telling you you're focusing very clearly on that Content now this focusing includes the thoughts. It includes ideas It includes any kind of beliefs it includes the factual data any of it. You're just looking at the content So when you're reflecting on the content the focus Can be on the thoughts or the ideas of the of your counseling Which could be the subject of that particular communication? So this is why is it useful? Because again, it enables you to understand the content which is being communicated to you and this by by doing this You're clarifying maybe a plan or an agreement That is that is going on it also reduces the repetition on the part of the other person because You're able to actually confirm to them that you have understood So when you're when you're actually reflecting that content, you're saying here, I've understood that part now You can actually go on it also lets you give the the other person a feedback on how they are coming across Which which probably is giving them better insights About themselves. So this this can be a result of the reflective Listening process. So, you know when they're saying something and you've understood something It gives them a feedback of how they're coming coming across It also helps the other person or your counseling gain direction towards a solution or a concern or a problem that they that they may have Okay, uh, like let's let's take for example here. The counselor is saying My brother and I have been like cats and dogs. Okay, so they've given you some kind of a content So here, what are you doing? You're actually reflecting that in the same case. So your brother and you So Sorry, your brother and you have been fighting. Have you all been fighting like cats and dogs or or you're you're making So what I see is that y'all have been fighting Recently, right? So when you're reflecting that Content, you're you're not repeating exactly what the counseling is saying But you've picked up the most important Content information and using their own words to to give them a feedback Okay, but that you are you do understand what they have just said. Okay, so let's let's look at some examples Okay, here your counseling is saying Probably the worst class I have is literature. Okay, so they've told you a lot about maybe the class and then they've said Probably the worst class I have is literature. What could be a response that That you you can you can make What is the response you could do? This is just a trial. Okay, so, uh, you know, feel free to respond How would how would you like to respond to this? You can write it down on the chat also so that Even as you're thinking you could quickly write it down to I mean type it in Yeah any thoughts nobody Yeah Maybe we can see Okay, it seems like you have a hard time. Okay, so I just put up Maybe you can say some it seems like this year has been specially tough for you. Is that true? It seems like literature the class literature has been a very tough one. Is that true? So literature is not something you enjoy learning. Okay, great. Yeah, so that's good. Okay. Let's look at another one This has been really a tough year for me Okay, I I think I I think I made a mistake in that Yeah, okay. So this is probably this is something that the the councillor does does say again. All right. Okay. Let's let's look at the next one Let's look. Okay. So the next one is how do you reflect feelings? Okay So the first one we said was reflecting content and now we're looking at how do we Reflect what is the next part of it is to be able to reflect feelings now reflecting feelings is You're listening accurately to what your councillor is saying And you're reflecting the feeling component of the communication To your councillor again in your own words. So the earlier was more content related This is more Feeling the the component of feeling comes about. So what are you doing here? You're reflecting uh You're you're listening accurately and you are naming The emotional state of the other person in your own words and you saw that in that video very well You know in almost every after every sentence. She's actually bought about emotional state of the other person So it what does it involve? It's involved stating a feeling word like she said disappointed um Sad upset Uh, uh, there were many words that she used. Okay. So what does it do? You're basically stating a feeling that actually captures the emotion of your counselling It it also involves expressing it in your own words the the feelings that stated or that is strongly implied by the other Sometimes and in that video it showed that he may not he didn't tell you how he's feeling But he says, you know, uh, I'm I'm all alone. No, she it's okay that she may have a family and all of that But I'm still all alone. So she says she says, you know, you feel upset that your mom Doesn't prioritize you or you know, you'd like to be prioritized just like the others in that family, right? so there is that that What may be implied is what you're also reflecting. So the purpose of reflecting is to Bring even those vaguely expressed feelings into clear awareness. Okay, something that may be very big put in the mind Uh, that that is coming out clear. So so, um, you know, sometimes others talk about their feelings as it Or them or that as the feelings were not part of themselves But then what you're attempting to do is to help them reflect and say this is how I'm feeling and it's okay to feel that way So it it's assisting Actually your counseling to own their own feelings to own it and say, okay, I feel sad. I feel upset. I feel lonely Feelings are often central More central. It's more core than actually the content and that's what you're attempt attempting to bring about in that communication That's what you're attempting to bring about because there is value in not just hearing the positive feelings But also the negative feelings and people need to express themselves when they especially have strong emotions and this listening this kind of a Responding to feeling or reflecting of the feeling actually allow allows the listener or your counseling to repeat and Participate in this process. So it's it's a very crucial Point of of being able to do that. So let's look at this example The counseling says it seems that no matter how hard I try Um, how hard I try or how much I do it. I cannot get comfortable with cold calling This this is this is probably at a Um at a work setting. Okay, it just seems so icky to me But I know that I have to do it to acquire more clients Okay, so the counselor here says uh, and that's frustrating for you because it's a big part of your job right now So you wish you could feel more at ease doing it, right? So what she's also doing this counselor is also doing is has labeled the feeling um and Has recognized that it's something important for them and also bringing about a suggestion of How could they be feel at more ease doing it? So they say, yeah, it is frustrating But I need to learn how to do it. So, you know, they've come to that point of saying, okay I think I need to learn about how doing so here the person has also come up with a solution of saying, okay I've got to figure out that I have to deal with what I'm feeling Or maybe do something about what I'm going through and feel at ease about that. Okay So that's with reflecting feeling. So let's look at uh, let's look at some Some ways of how you can generally begin your responses when you're using feeling reflections You can begin your responses in in some of these ways because it's it's it's helpful to understand how We can we can use these words like you feel You sound you look You're you're looking you're sounding so this this what what you're doing through this is you're Helping them to come in uh in contact with their most subtle feelings So it could be feelings of disgust of fear of anger and all of this helps So as a listener you're looking for those hidden feelings and bringing them out in the open So you sometimes you're making that suggestion and that's why you're saying that you know You feel this way or you look like this. You look sad or you look Annoyed so the focus is on the emotion of the other Sam the process is is with emphasis on the component on on the feeling so You know, it's it's necessary for us to Sometimes our feeling vocabulary is very limited. We just know Sad angry happy right, but but We need to describe feelings more accurately and I think something that we can we can do is Just and if you just google search it and look for It's called the spectrum of feelings right and you will find in the sad mad glad There are so many feelings that are there I think I put it up in in one of the classes if i'm not mistaken Yeah, I think I did put it up where you're able to see No, sorry, I put it up in bible college last week. That's that's where we did it Right, so it was uh to to be able to see that there are many more Emotions that we can actually pick on and have them so take time to look through a list and think of About these feelings and you know bring about this in your vocabulary as you are talking to people because it's very helpful for others also to Know what exactly they may be going through. Okay, so let's try this Okay, the councillor is saying this sure has been a horrible week Nothing went right at the job and my wife and I argued all the time Okay, how would you respond to the to the feeling? We can say it looks like you really didn't Enjoy this week much Feeling respond to the feeling bring about a feeling You're reflecting feeling here Not just a content Go on go on Uh, yeah, Divya here Yeah, so something like uh, you feel frustrated that your job was hard this week and um, you argued with your wife, uh, and you wish that this was a better week Okay, good. Good. Right. So, um, maybe I'd say some that or I imagine that you must be feeling extremely Disappointed in the way that your week went Uh, you know, nothing seemed to have turned right and it must have been a bigger Dampener for you with with your wife and you are doing right? So I've probably I bring in two emotions or I club two things together perfectly. Okay. It's just of She this person hasn't said he hasn't said anything about how he's feeling and that's what you're attempting to bring up Right. Uh, you're just getting them to Come in terms with what they are feeling or where they are at. Okay The next one is to reflect meaning Reflecting meaning is uh in addition to what you are doing earlier It is it is an additional part of you are combining both the feeling and the content So you're you're listening accurately and you are reflecting the essence of both the content as well as the um, uh The content as well as the feeling so, uh, this reflecting meaning is What you're doing is you the the content and the feelings are tied together And often you do that by using, uh, maybe words like, um You know, maybe words like because or when and this this skill or what it does it it involves the understanding And reflecting of what they have said together. So you've tied something together and you you've put it together So there is a formula that's generally is used. I'm sorry. The example doesn't bring about the formula So the formula that can be used is you feel something Because something right you feel the feeling because of the content or you feel Dash the feeling about dash, right? So what you're doing is you're bringing you're Putting it all together. So you're bringing the meaning you're bringing the meaning by reflecting the feeling as well as the content Okay, so the example the example here is Is um, the council is saying Sorry, the council is saying sorry Switch the two the council is saying I just don't understand my boss one minute He has one thing to say and the other he changes it completely So what you can say here is you feel really confused by him because of the way that he behaves with you Okay, or you feel You feel really lost Because there seems to be a mismatch in the way that he deals with you So there is you are bringing two things together. You're actually reflecting Two things together. You're you're merging not just the content But as well as well as the meaning together. Okay, um, let's look at an example So the council here is saying my supervisor is always after me Micro managing me. He just has no clue how hard I work. Okay So what you could say here is remember when you're putting two things together You could say something like, you know, you feel micro managed You're probably using the same words or, you know, you feel very claustrophobic being Micro managed, right? So claustrophobic is maybe a word to just feel too stuck or you feel Stuck that you're being micro managed because of the way of the of the kind of work that Your supervisor does not Recognize or because the fact that you you don't feel recognized, right? So there are two things that you're saying one is You're feeling a certain way and you've made meaning is because you feel that you're not being recognized So there are two things that's coming up and that's being merged in this in this example. Okay Okay, we'll we'll just go through the next one Yeah, the next one is to is a reflective Summarizing now in reflective summarizing what you're attempting to do over here is you're listening accurately to another person And reflecting the main points in their communication. So you're actually Densing all of what a person has said into two or three sentences now the process of reflecting Requires that you Have heard it in manageable Segments, right? You may have heard a whole lot of things and then following each Segment you you've done what is done previously And now you are expressing your perception of the essence of that entire segment and you're checking that accuracy back That's what you're attempting to do in a reflective summarizing through all of this. So These are some of the main Ways that you you you used to to reflect that remember as you're doing this Very often it is like a to and fro it comes as a You know, you're doing some part of it and then you're allowing them to talk again You're doing some of it. So you keep continuing to work through that because as You're helping you what you're doing is you're building an understanding within themselves of what is going on Okay, so these are some of the types We are at an hour So let's take a break of 10 minutes and we'll come back and we'll take it on from there and midway I'd like to show you another video about resistance Uh, when what do we do when we face resistance from the counseling? Okay? We'll meet back in 10 minutes. It's 10 50. We'll be back by 11 o'clock