 Hi, my name is Belkika and I'm an actress based out of California. And this month I have been filming a video, a self tape every single day and posting it every week is themed differently. If you want to go back and watch the beginning ones, I started with commercials, like when they ask you, tell us something about you, you know, tell us something interesting about you, how to and I answer those. And then the next was all commercial auditions, which usually the ones that I tend to get are non speaking and just action. So I practice that and then this week, oh, and then the week after that was special skills. So I filmed myself doing special skills such as roller skating, skateboarding, longboarding, speaking Spanish, knitting, sewing, and then this week is monologues. So I have filmed a bunch of monologues and posted them already. But today is Thursday, July 22. Is it? Yes, Thursday, July 22. And I still needed one more like I've only chosen I had only chosen six monologues for this week. And then I thought I have Cynthia's monologue book, let me share some of those. So today, instead of, you know, memorizing just one and performing one, I'm going to be almost cold reading because I have read these in the past. But I'm going to basically be cold reading these monologues. And these are really, really great because it's a little bright, but you can see it's one page. So they're really great for practicing. If you are a beginner actor to be able to memorize something shorter, perform something shorter, and also, and she poured, you know, herself into these monologues. So they are just a full of beautifulness. You know, you'll know what I mean when I read some of these, but I'm going to read three of these with you. This book is a sit down with sin monologues for black girl, and it is written by Cynthia de Helaire. We did a collaboration earlier this year where we held a monologue competition with her monologues and also one that she and I wrote together on a video. If you want to see that, I'm going to tag the videos I'm talking about over here. But today, I thought I would share three of these with you. So I'm going to be doing almost a cold read instead of a, you know, full on self tape over there, because I thought this this is a good opportunity to share an amazing woman. She's an actress based out of LA who wrote this monologue book so if you guys can go purchase it, or if you can't afford it, we did share a few monologues that you can use in that monologue competition for your auditions. Yeah, go over there if you want to see the other ones. But today, I want to read, I like so many of these, but I want to read three of them in particular that I just really like what is called triple consciousness. And there's one word I think it's Aisha. It's like Haitian, I believe that I might not pronounce correctly. But the first one is amazing. It's perfect for somebody who is a Haitian American person, first generation. And then the second one is going to be roll one, roll two, which is pretty much good for anybody. Or that's the third one. And then the second one is going to be solidarity nudges, which is also a monologue that can be pretty much for anybody. So let's start with triple consciousness. Hi, my name is Sin, and I am Haitian American. This can mean one or two things. But for me, it means that my parents were born in Haiti, and I was born here. It can be cool depending on what side of the coin you flip to. I got to experience two cultures, learn two languages, and had my first job as an interpreter when I was six. No problem, explain that the grocer ran out of plantains, explain why everyone was laughing at Martin, explain the healthcare system. On the other side of the coin, it is a particular sensation. One ever feels her three-ness, an American, a Negro, and an immigrant. A palatable version of blackness to my white counterparts. A paddleable version of Haitian to my black counterparts. And a paddleable version of American to my Haitians. Oh, you can't be too black. Oh, you can't be too Haitian. Oh, where's your Haitian? This is an added layer of complexity to otherness. Being a first generation American is no easy task. You see, I've learned to tiptoe in your rooms and in my room. I've learned what to mellow out so that my black people feel me and what to hide so that the white people can deal with me. With the white people, I'm hiding two sides. With my family, I'm concealing everything I've become. It's complicated, and I'm always ducking and diving parts of me. This is my triple consciousness. I really like that one. Obviously, you know, it's for somebody who's Haitian American, but if you happen to be, then this is a perfect monologue for you. The next one is called Solidarity Nudges. This one's a little bit shorter. It's a little over half the page. Solidarity Nudges. You know what I'm talking about? That little knee knocking underneath the table, the elbow tap that no one can see. That slight unison cough. And that glance across the room like, Oh my God. Oh, those Solidarity Nudges that make us feel like we are not alone. That help us find the comfort in the uncomfortable. That confirm that we are not lost in our own heads. There's someone who shares this experience with me who confirms that what was just said was indeed racist, sexist, and bigotry. Like, yes, those sentences just came out of someone's mouth. I'm glad that this, I'm glad that this time it was done in front of the two of us. Thank God for Solidarity Nudges. You and I now have something to laugh about. A partner in crime for when I list out my grievances. Someone to share these experiences. And then the last one is roll one and roll two. This one is a little bit more like a little darker, just a little bit. I mean, depending on your experience, because you can relate to this in a lot of different ways. So roll one and roll two. And she also made a film out of some monologues. So if you guys want to check it out, you can look at it on her website and her Instagram. And of course, I'm going to be linking everything below, including the link to buy this on Amazon, if you would like to purchase it. There's more, a lot more monologues than the ones I'm reading. I'm just reading three. A father who never sprinkled me with love. A sister who never held my hand. Two occupancies voided in my life. A father who never talked to me about boys, who never called for my birthday. Who never made me smile. A sister who never made me cookies, who never called me beautiful, who never taught me how to have love for other women. For the longest, I held them to what they did not do, in part because TV told me to. I was so hurt by their lack of, you were supposed to be my dad, dad. You were supposed to be my sister, says. You weren't perfect. You gave me issues. You both missed your season. I've sat in agony for 23 years mad, mad at everything because I had reasons, but you were supposed to be just you as I get older. I think maybe your purpose in life was not to be everything I needed you to be, but to just do you, to be human. I just came along, but I wasn't your story. Can you forgive me? For all those years I cursed upon you and wished you pain for all the shortcomings I blamed on you. For not giving you a chance because I wanted vengeance for all those missed moments and plans. This time, I wasn't the bigger person. I've played a real hand. There's a lot to heal and healing takes time. Yay! There you guys go, a few monologues that you can use to practice and audition with and I'm going to definitely look, keep looking through these. I might actually, for like my actor clips because this month one of the reasons why I'm filming all of these of course is so that I can have something to show in auditions and I might use solidarity nudges I think is really fun and you can play around with a lot. Obviously, I just basically read it. You know, I did like a little cold read, but yes, everything is going to be linked in the description. Shout out to Cynthia for writing this. She's awesome. Go follow her on Instagram. Check out the book, purchase it if you can and thank you so much for watching. At the end of every video I feature another channel. This is today's feature. If you would like to be featured on my next video, make sure you're subscribed, like this video and leave me a comment.