 SNES drunk is drunk. Oh god. Alright, so here's the story. I'm playing NHL 96. I'm getting my ass kicked. I'm the St. Louis Blues. The computer is the Tampa Bay Lightning. And the computer is the Tampa Bay Lightning for a very good reason. That will become evident later. So here we go. As you can see, I'm totally kidding. I'm not doing too well. And uh... Yeah, I'll... This is SNES drunk being drunk. I'm on a power play though. And uh... Oh jeez, see that's the inherent problem with uh... Playing this game drunk is... I have offsides turned on because I refuse to play this without the proper rules in place. Here we go. Alright, come on. Yeah, that is why I have Tampa... that's why I'm playing Tampa Bay. Because there are goaltenders of fellow named Darren Pupa. And Mr. Darren Pupa is pathologically incapable of saving anything to his left. I don't know if he just doesn't have a left arm or he forgot to wear his blocker pad or what the hell his issue... Oh, nice save. Or what the hell his issue is. But it's pretty pathetic. Damn it. So anyway, yeah, the idea is I'm going to try and come back. Yeah, alright, we got him on the right side that time. That's good. Mr. Todd Ellick. I don't even know who most of these people are. I used to follow the NHL way back when um... Before the North Stars moved I'm in Minnesota. Well, he makes a save for once. Alright, Shanahan, come on. Come on. You're rambling about something being a drunk kid. Get the fuck! I can't be too loud. I don't want to wake my dog up. He's already given me several mean glares for waking him up. He hasn't slept a lot lately because I've been out of town. Alright, here we go. 14. Over to 10. That's ticking in I think. There we go! Alright, it's a five goal game. Well done. See, I remember Tickenin was on that 94 Rangers team that won the cup for the first time in a gazillion years or something like that. This is a trouble with me drinking and playing. I don't know what I'm talking about. Alright, Brett Hull, wind up. Damn, it's right at the guy. What the fuck is I thinking? Alright, I'm down five with six minutes to go. We're looking good. We're gonna catch up here. Close the lead. Again, the guy, it's not even... What the fuck was that? The guy I'm playing doesn't even have a left arm. He doesn't even have a left arm practically. That's how bad he sucks. Alright, Tickenin, here we go. Cut across. Nice move. Yeah! Look at those shitty pixelated hats. Oh, and by the way, I'm playing in Tampa Bay and I'm St. Louis. But yet, fans are chucking hats. Pixelated shitty hats out of the ice. God damn it. So, yeah, this game makes no sense. Scoring number two line. By the way, SC2 stands for scoring two. That's my second scoring line for scoring line. And the CHK that you see, I'll be bringing those guys out occasionally. Nice pass, by the way, you dick. He got out there and he got raped. Alright. Stop this guy. What the fuck was that? Come on! Shit. Send the checking line out to kick some ass. God, what the hell was that? He went coastic. Oh yeah, way to follow it up, guys. I'm yelling at myself. God damn it. He went coast to coast untouched. Take that. Fuck sticks. Alright, Greg Gilbier. Thank you, Mr. French Mom. Yeah. Time to send the scoring line back out. Alright, I'm down four. With four minutes to go, hopefully I won't give up another goal. That's the thing. My goalie is every bit as bad as the Tampa. So I gotta play some D here, too. Alright, teakin' in. What was that? Why? What were you doing down there? That was an easy goal. And my guy just fucking blew it. Alright. Nice play. Nice. Nice! Ah! Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of that. A lot of weird orgasmic sounds coming from me. The whole idea is to make this as agonizing for my st- It's gonna be as agonizing for myself as possible. How did that score there? For fuck's sake. You can just... You can lightly backhand a shot from the edge of the circle on the left there and it goes it. There we go. Alright, Brett Paul. Look at him get showered in hats by the lightening fans. Unless there's a lot of people in St. Louis that live in Tampa Bay or in Tampa, I should say, for whatever reason. Alright, here we go. See how easy it is. See, it's almost not fair. See, that's the thing though is that it seems much easier to get over there without any other defenders or anything like that. It's, it's... Oh shit, that was another blown opportunity. In fact, I remember I can actually take a picture of this but one time I scored... Yeah! Alright, down one with 251 to go. I'm gonna send the checking line out there. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, speaking of Tampa Bay, I actually scored I think it's 43 goals in one game. He actually saved it. 43 goals in one game against this particular goaltender on easy. This is on expert, by the way. Hit him! There you go. To the left. Fuck! I gotta send this scoring line out. The inherent line... Get the fucking... Jesus, what was that? God! Okay. Alright, this is starting to look beautiful. The inherent... I was saying the inherent problem I gotta keep my scoring line out there. The checking line are just a bunch of goons and they just hit people. Oh, come on! Lucky I didn't get icing there. Alright, this is getting very tense and I need to score. Oh, great. Here's a fight. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck... Fuck, fuck stick. Blocking my punches. Hit him! I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna win, am I? No. But you know what? It's not over. Because fuck you! Five minutes... Helkidesz. Bilkidesz, helkidesz. Five minutes... Baron, Baron. Alright, time to get serious. Less than a minute, or a minute seven left. Alright, Al McKinnis. Fucking Al McKinnis, come on. Oh, that was so close, shit. That would have been it right there. Oh, come on, get the fucking puck. I'm running out of time. Oh, shit. This is not good. Alright, come on. What? What? Oh, shit. Oh, no, this is bad. This is all for nothing. Alright. Alright. Get there, get there. Yeah! Six fucking seconds left, mother fuckers. I had serious doubts that that was gonna happen. But it happened. Okay, that... I've had too much to drink, because that was way too intense. I'm gonna look at the stats here. I don't know who like five of these guys are. I don't know anybody on Tampa, Peter Flemmer. Let's get this over with. Let's win this mother fucker. Why was there... Alright. That's it. Yeah! Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you again. I'm gonna take this puck and shove it up your ass. Alright. Alright, there you go. Pretty... Pretty stupid video, I know. But hey, when you click on Super Nintendo Drunk, when you click on some idiot plays Super Nintendo Drunk, what the hell do you expect? Do you expect freaking Mozart painting Shakespeare? I don't know. I don't know what you expect, but I hope you expected an eight goal comeback from the St. Louis Blues beating the Tampa Bay Lightning in their piece of shit goaltender to win by a final score, a football score of 14 to 13. So... That's right. St. Louis Rams defeat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 14 to 13. The end.