 Lux presents Hollywood Lux radio theater brings you ginger Rogers Edward Arnold John Howard and Joan Perry in Fifth Avenue girl Ladies and gentlemen your producer mr. Cecil B. DeMille Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen One way of staying out of trouble is to follow this rule Don't give advice when you're asked for it and never under any conditions lend a helping hand to a stranger You'll never be misunderstood But you'll never have any friends and you'll probably lead a very dull and useless life I'll play tonight Fifth Avenue girl Is the story of a young lady who left that rule behind her on a lonely park bench one day? Got into all kinds of trouble one friends influenced people fell in love and lived happily ever after The young ladies played by ginger Rogers who created Fifth Avenue girl in the RKO picture to the delight of the whole country In fact her performance in that picture is one of the very good reasons why RKO bought kitty foil Which ginger has just finished with ginger tonight you'll hear Edward Arnold in the kind of part that made him famous a tycoon of industry John Howard plays his son and Joan Perry his daughter Together they constitute a family called the Bordens a family with too much money, but enough courage to make up for it And ginger is the guardian angel who posed them back from such disasters as divorce bankruptcy and unrequited love Last week I mentioned a problem that confronts the studio wardrobe department when a musical picture is being made But I've discovered that the problem is much greater when the picture is in color The solution however is the same Lux Flakes In making a picture like Northwest Mounted Police in Technicolor a costume must be kept the same shade through many hard weeks of production Of course so far as washable costumes are concerned that assignment goes to Lux Flakes It certainly plays a star role in making a color picture and it will play a star role for you at home Experience at the studio makes it easy for me to understand the popularity of our product with the women of America But right now it's time for laughter love and a light heart as we ring up the curtain on act one of Fifth Avenue Go with Ginger Rogers as Mary Gray Edward Arnold as Timothy Borden John Howard as Tim and Joan Perry as Catherine Certainly the one day a year on which the problems of the overworked captain of industry should be lightened with his birthday So believes Mr. Timothy Borden of the Borden amalgamated pump company But sadly enough it's not working out that way for him A dozen men surround his desk all hurling argument and query their voices going hotter and louder Until mr. Borden's temperature has reached feverish proportions right now. He's at the boiling point Please please I'm going home. I'm worn out. I've had enough for one day and this is a ball day But wait DJ the Stanton contract has to be signed not today. They'll turn us down. All right. All right business campaign On the wooden company cancel their order the stockholders want to stop the bondage Refuse it rejected and now statement. I've had enough I'll wait DJ Hershey and company calls. Oh, what about it? Hershey count is foolproof. My son's attending to that. I'm sorry, DJ What's that? Well, you see Hershey asked for a revised estimate your son wasn't here. So they took their account to act me Is my son here now? He hasn't been here all week. He's been out playing polo the international finals or something Don't tell me anymore Tell Michael bring the car around as well Michael there seems to be a touch of spring in the air. Yes, spring is something that even the poor people can enjoy Spring sir. It's free. Oh, I see. Well, I won't need you tonight Michael Oh, good evening. He gets good evening. You're home early, sir Well, the man should get home early on his birthday at least I suppose the family will be here for dinner. No, sir Nobody this is born is dining out as usual. Your daughter is going to frisbee coming out potty. I haven't heard Mr. Junior I see aren't you feeling well, sir? Oh, yes. I'm all right. Perhaps a touch of spring fever So perhaps I thought it myself this afternoon just walking in the park by the way, sir He's a special delivery letter for you. Well, thank you. It was lovely there today. Where the park the park Whenever I'm free, I like to go there some people like to look at the animals, but personally I like trees and flowers Higgins Higgins, do you read the gossip columns? Then I suppose you've read this item What fifth Avenue matron is dancing away to Reno with what well-known playboy while her husband ponders the problems of pumps? Well, Higgins, yes, sir. I saw it Higgins, is there anything wrong with me? Oh, no, sir. Not that I know us. You don't suppose my family's frightened of me Oh, no, sir. Then why am I treated the way I am? Why does my wife? Well, why does she? What's wrong with my daughter and my son? Why can't they stay at home? Why do people work as hard as they do and for one? I've often wondered myself After all, what do they get out of life? That's right. What do they get out of life? Sit down Higgins Oh, but I'd be very uncomfortable. I'll sit down anyway. You make me uncomfortable So you're happy just looking at trees and flowers. Oh, no, not entirely, sir I find my work here very pleasant. Why? Well to be frank, sir We certainly enjoyed the luxuries of the rich and have none of the responsibility none of the responsibility. Oh, I see. I see I'd like to get up sir. May I arrange for your dinner? Just a minute Higgins What was the name of the tree you were talking about over in the park? A maple, sir. A maple. Thank you Higgins Higgins Peanots, hat to roast to the peanuts. Do the pigeons eat peanuts? Shoes, how many? Two. Okay, twenty cents. They said, wait a minute Could you tell me if that's a maple tree over there? How should I know? I sell peanuts. Peanots, peanuts, hat to roast to the peanuts Oh, excuse me, miss. Do you mind if I sit here? Why not? It's a public bench Thanks These pigeons are friendly little creatures, aren't they? Oh, they're just hungry See, they are hungry. Look, you know You know, when I was a kid I used to have a whole flock of them and they used to fly around all over I hope you don't think I'm trying to strike up an acquaintance Hey, what are you a flat foot? You mean a detective? No Well, if you are I haven't done anything. Do I look like one? You might be Did you ever hear of Borden's amalgamated pump company? What kind of pump? Amalgamated pump Vegetable or mineral? Business And a very worrying one. It's a very distressing subject. I don't know why I brought it up Why talk about it then? No, I don't think I will. You know, as a matter of fact, I am trying to strike up an acquaintance with you You see, I'm lonely. It's my birthday. Well, birthdays are all right, but you never get over the first one You've got a knife. I'll split this apple with you. Yeah, who thank you very much. No, very good Aren't you afraid you'll spoil your dinner? This is my dinner. Are you on a diet? Yes, but against my wishes Well, haven't you got a job? Who has? Well, it doesn't seem to bother you very much Doesn't. I'm alive and kicking. Got five dollars from a pocketbook. My room rents paid for another week And then what? Oh, I don't know. Something will turn up. Always does You mean you sleep in the park? Well, what's wrong with that? And that wouldn't worry you? Say, you sound like one of those Fifth Avenue cadavers. Fifth Avenue what? All those people that live over there, those millionaires, they're always squawking You think the country was going to the dogs? Well, they have their troubles What troubles? I used to stand over in the plaza and watch them come home at night They look like a lot of wax dummies who've had an overdose of dill pickles. See, they make me tired Well, I don't like them either when they come right down to it. Uh, look, I just had an idea. This is my birthday Well, it's not mine. Would it be presumptuous if I asked you to help me celebrate it? And do what? Oh, we could go some place and eat Where? Well, it's a place they call the Flamingo Club Look, mister, are you feeling all right? Oh, people must have a wonderful time there because it costs so much money Is your, uh, keeper around? No, no, I mean it. I'd love to go there So would I, but I'd rather go to the automatic and keep the change But this is my birthday. We could have lots of fun than selling the ridge You're sure you wouldn't run out on me and leave me holding the check? No, no, I've got lots of money. Look here. You can hold it Well, gee, and you better get somebody to hold me. No, no, you'll be all right. Well, thanks No, that's well, let's see Gee, if I eat any real food, I'll probably die, but might as well die of food poisoning as anything else. Come on What do you have for us refreshments and champagne? How much will it cost? Oh, never mind that. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Champagne Look, it's your money, but do you print it yourself? We're celebrating. It's my birthday. You're telling me More champagne, you'd better bring enough for everybody. You know for everybody I wish you knew what this was doing to my scotch blood We ought to be able to take a table and a couple of chairs home with us and throw in some Silverware, but it is good. Will you have some more? Why not? Every sip is like drinking six pairs of silk stockings Yeah, but you you can't drink still stockings Say is this your birthday or is christmas sneaked up on me too? It's my birthday. We're going to have a good time Come on, let's dance. Yeah, let's Whoa, whoa, who are you waiting for? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just a friend of mine. Her name is mrs. Borden Your wife. Yes, that's what I'm told I was afraid of something like this Is that your son with her too? If I have a son like that, I dishonor him. Come on over and say hello, huh? Oh, hello Martha I'm celebrating my birthday and what are you doing here? Oh, please sit down. You're making yourself conspicuous I'll only be a minute. I just want to to meet the gentleman. Oh, uh, uh, mr. Hopkins my husband How do you do? How do you do and this is uh, miss uh gray miss gray? How do you do? Say, you know, I've been reading about you in the papers, mr. Hopkins the the gossip columns. Congratulations I think you show very good taste. No, that's more than I can say for you. Tommy. Let's go. Yes. I think we'd better Oh Now there's a fellow I wanted to insult. Oh, I didn't you well, I couldn't think of anything to say Well, let's sit down. I'll dream up something for you. That's a good idea too So what's the way I'm feeling right now? I'm beginning to like everybody Oh, oh, good morning, my dear. Uh, would you have some breakfast with me? I've had it Are you in a mood this morning to discuss a few matters of importance to both of us? Well, I Well, there's several things that need my attention and uh, I can well imagine that black eye of yours is one of them Yes, I noticed it. I had a bit of an accident. Yes, the papers give a full account of it Who is this woman woman? What woman? Who is she? Oh, she she oh, she's a very nice girl. He is a very nice girl. Where did you meet her? I met her in the park. I never saw her before in my life and I'll probably never see her again. Good morning Oh my goodness. I'm glad you're here. I was afraid I'd overslept. Well, uh, this uh, this is my wife, miss gray I believe we've met What's wrong with her say, where did you come from upstairs? Don't you remember? In a way, I do yes and in a way, I don't Hey, mrs. Borden seems upset. I I'd better be on my way. Oh, I have to say don't leave me now I can't think of a better time. Oh, no. I gotta find out. Oh, you got here and also how I did Well, it's a little vague to me. Oh, maybe higgins can help us or higgins Breakfast is served sir. Uh higgins were you awake when miss gray and I came in last night? Oh, look He's got one too. Why a black eye Say that's a pep higgins. Thank you miss Oh, that's a shame higgins. What happened? Well, it was this way, sir When you came in last night you oh it happened last night Never mind higgins. You better get us some breakfast. Yes. Look, I've had a beautiful evening I've been out in society and I've got a wonderful headache and I couldn't be happier but Really, I've got to be running along. Oh, no, no, no, you must have some breakfast besides. I need your advice Oh, if I don't have another birthday for 10 years, it'll be soon enough. Well, why we had a wonderful time We must have I spent a dollar of my own money You shouldn't have done that That's what started the argument with the taxi driver taxi driver You remember the taxi driver, don't you higgins? I shall never forget him. Well, if I'm not too inquisitive just What is all this about a taxi driver? He was much less belligerent than the policemen, sir Point policemen the one who calmed you down after you told him you defend miss america with your life, sir And who miss america, sir? You were quieter after you fell down the steps But your last request was that we put miss america in the guest room miss america Did anybody else come home with us? No, I'm miss america Oh I want you to know, sir that I hold not one moment's anger toward anyone for smashing me in the eye It was nice to see you gay for a change. Thank you higgins Well, all that was last night and today's a new day, right? You know something happened in this house this morning that hasn't happened in a long time This is the first time in years my wife's paid any attention to me and I think you had something to do with it I think I did you said something had turned up. Well, here it is Why not take a job with me? What kind of a job? Well, we'll think of something I'd just like to keep you around here. No, thank you I feel much safer. You see yesterday. I learned I was about to lose my wife And you want me to stay here and make sure? Well, it might work just the other way around And again, it mightn't you know, Martha, that's my wife is a very nice person Though you would scarcely believe it by the way she acted toward you this morning Oh, well, she just had me figured wrong. Oh, that's what's so nice about it Now you need a job and I need you No, thank you. You're too rich Sorry, did it scare me living in a house this big? Well, I didn't want all this. Is it my fault that I invented a pump? All I ever wanted in my life was to have a little fun in a family I haven't got a family and never had any fun till last night. Well, thanks, but I'll see you next But I'll wait a minute miss. Come here. Just a hey Who's the mob? Oh, my daughter Catherine and the gang. I suppose she's probably brought them all home for breakfast Oh, do they do this often? I mean, does this go on all the time? Let's go out in the garden I have an offer to make you a business offer Who's that that? Oh, it's dad and somebody don't let him bother you. Make yourselves at home gang. I'll get cooked and whip us up to breakfast Oh, hello Michael. Hello Cook, how about some breakfast? How many? Oh, I don't know 10 or 12. Will you hurry it up? Of all things 10 12 I ain't running a restaurant Michael would you mind helping cook? She's got a grouch on again. I'm the chauffeur of the house Besides, this is my breakfast hour. I'm supposed to be eating Well sit down and eat. I'm just a mechanical puppet. I'm not supposed to sit in the presence of my I know You're not supposed to sit in the presence of your betters as you said, but go ahead. I didn't say that you are thinking it Oh, I'm not supposed to think I'm only supposed to wait outside a hotel all night while my Betters are getting drunk and throwing away more money than most people make in a year. I'm sorry, Mike You feel better after you get some sleep. I'm not supposed to sleep Just wind me up like a mechanical toy. I didn't mean to be rude Michael the rich can afford to be rude You and your brother and all your rich friends What's wrong with tim and me? Tell me Michael. Listen, will you get out of here and let me finish my breakfast? Oh, Michael. You're wonderful I love you when you get mad. Look if I hurry and get the gang out of here. Will you talk to me? No? Thanks, Michael. See you later I'm what's up. Hickon said you wanted to see me read this second column. It's about your father. Oh that I saw it There must have been some shindig was dad banged up much just a common black eye It's not funny tim and you haven't heard the worst. Who's the blonde woman? They mentioned coming to that She spent the night here. You're kidding. She spent the night here in the guest room Now I want you to go right downstairs and get her out of this house Well, I'll do the best I can I'm not so sure about dad now he might Oh, good morning. Good morning. I'm mr. Borden's son. Yes, your father's just told me about you Well, let's come to the point. How long have you known my father? Oh a long time Ever since last night you only met him last night in the park. Oh a pickup Nothing is longer than that. Well, what would you call it? Love at first sight, I guess. Don't make me laugh. My father's an old man Age doesn't matter when the real thing comes along. How about money? Does that matter? It helps Now we're getting somewhere Look, you see this you know what it is. Um, it's a $50 bill, isn't it? That's exactly what it is Here hold it Yeah, yeah, it's a real thing. I can see the little veins running through it. I'll tell you what I'll do I'll bet you that $50 you can't get out that door by the time I count 10 Oh, that's pretty far. Well, I could count to 20 No, I don't think I could make it. You see my rheumatism has been bothering me Here's your money I understand you play polo. What's that got to do with it? Nothing just that I'm amazed amazed at what? Amazed to discover that horses have better breeding than the people who ride them Well, have you decided about oh, hello, Tim? Hello dad. Have you thought the manner over miss gray? Oh, yes, uh, I've had a couple of propositions this morning Your son wants me to leave then you want me to stay and of the two propositions mr. Borden senior I think I prefer yours In just a moment mr. Demille will bring us act two a fifth avenue girl the ginger rodgers edward donnell john howard and jones perry Meantime you all remember the old saying Give me the making of the songs of a nation and I care not who makes its laws Well nearly every region in america has its own beloved songs. You know this old time one That's oh susanna one of steven foster's most engaging songs remember how it starts I came from Alabama with my banjo on my knee. I'm going to lusiana my true love for to see Yes, and speaking of louisiana Here's a bit of recent news from the south Down in new orleans and in many other cities too We made a survey to find out how the women wash their nice things And when all the results from all the cities were added up We found twice as many women use new quick luck flakes for stockings under things sweaters and other nice things As use any other flakes chips or beads. Yes, Sally It's new quick lux two to one All over the country east west north south from boston to san francisco American women choose new quick lux two to one. Well, no wonder mr. Rueck. It's so much faster It's so thrifty. It's so safe three good reasons for popularity aren't they first speed In water as cool as your hand New quick lux dissolves three times as fast as any of ten other leading soaps tested second thrift New quick lux goes further gives more suds ounce for ounce than any of these soaps even in hard water third safety New quick lux flakes are safe for anything safe in water. Mr. Rueck I've written a verse about new quick lux. Well, that's interesting. Sally. How does it go? Well, it's a new version of old susanna and here's our friend to sing it. Listen Remain to Alabama in states near and far away New york to california new quick lux. Sweet usa Yes, new quick lux flakes are america's favorite way of washing nice things Why not get the generous big box tomorrow becomes in the same familiar package cost you no more And now our producer mr. Demille act two of fifth avenue girl Starring ginger rogers as mary gray edward arnold as timothy borden John howard as tim and jone perry as kathryn The arrival of mary gray in the borden household created a storm of dissension But all efforts to dislodge her have proved futile Her pretended romance of mr. Borden has stunned the family completely and for the first time in years the master of the house Assumes a certain importance in their eyes But timothy junior feels he's been personally affronted in the library. He faces the unwelcome guest Say you you're referring to me. Yes. Did you put this picture of father on my dresser? What's wrong with your father? That's beside the point Did you put these business reports there too? Well, I didn't know what to do with him said your father's too old to work That's a lot of bunk. He wasn't too old a couple of weeks ago. He seems to think so now What am I supposed to do with these reports? Well, somebody's got to fill your father's shoes I guess though, they're probably too big for you. Oh, I'm not a man. Is that it? Well, you wear long pants Say, what are you trying to do disrupt this family? I haven't done anything. What's your racket, sister? Haven't quite made up my mind. Do you think my mother's going to step aside for you? That's what I heard So you think you're going to marry my father. Is that it? I might be your stepmother Have a nose. I'd hate to be your mother. I've got you figured You're a gold digger What makes you think you're not a gold digger? What have you ever done to deserve all this? What have you ever accomplished? What do you expect to accomplish? I've got my cause in plush and I like to feel it Now you're just kidding yourself With father's business going to pot there isn't going to be any plush left Oh, there'll be enough for my needs When I get through you're going to be faced with the awful predicament of going to work for a change Oh, there you are, Mary. Shall we go? I'm all ready. Yes, I'm ready. Dad, listen. Oh, hello, son How's the pullo coming along? Dad, can I speak to you privately? Well, you might ask Ms. Cree for an appointment Ms. Cree, do you mind if I speak to my father? Uh, no Well, please go away then Not any father than this Sir, are you two passing together with wires or something? Look, Dad, I don't know what's come over you. Do you know mother's in a pretty nervous condition? No, I didn't know. That's too bad When I can't criticize you for neglecting mother, but I do criticize you for neglecting your business What business? The pump business Have you seen these reports? I told Ms. Cree to throw them out But Dad, the business is in a very desperate condition Is that so? Well, why don't you do something about it? Dad, I don't know anything about pumps You can learn, can't you? Come on, Mr. Borden, we're going to be late for our rumble lesson The business is some kind of holiday That crazy, that's not what you're doing Now, children, we've got to be calm The important thing is that we must change our attitude toward this woman Yeah If we're pleasant to her, she'll reveal her true colors. They always do Then your father will get rid of her himself Why are you so anxious about father? I thought you were going to Reno Reno will come in time Mother's boyfriend gave her the air Catherine, nothing of the kind Mr. Hopkins is simply being discreet in this emergency Besides, we can't let your father make a fool of himself After we've saved him from himself, we can all live our own lives We might as well save some of his money for ourselves while we're at it And just what are you doing for the cause? Hanging around the kitchen, mooing after that dope Michael Michael? What's Catherine? Tim, you shut up. He doesn't know what he's talking Now, children, children, bickering is not the answer to our problem We've all got to pull together Now, Tim, I want you to be especially nice to Miss Gray Well, what am I supposed to do when you're in a competition with Dad? Can't take a girl away from your own father Well, the least you can do is to make the same sacrifices I make I've had enough of sacrifices. I've been going to that office every day for a week Pumps, pumps, pumps. That's all I hear all day long You make some sacrifices for a change I'm not going to spend my evenings with a female I loathe But we've got to do something And we can only succeed by unified action Oh, I'm asking my family to rally round for the last time Hold it, Mother, hold it You look like the Statue of Liberty Mr. Borden will sit here And I'd like Miss Gray to sit next to Mr. Timothy Miss Catherine will sit next to me Yes, Madame Now, has Cook prepared all of Mr. Borden's favorite dishes? Everything, Madame, including the beach stew Oh, thank you, Higgins Good evening Oh, good evening, Miss Gray Well, how charming you look Children, come and see how lovely Miss Gray looks in her new frock Won't you join us in the living room? Well, Mr. Borden and I are going out Oh, oh, Tim, doesn't Miss Gray look charming? She certainly does Is that a new gown? Oh, yes, it is It's very chic Where did you get it? Where? Oh, no, no, I mean, I don't remember Catherine, you shouldn't be so inquisitive Oh, I'm sorry, dear, we haven't got to know you better After all, you are practically one of the family As a matter of fact, we've all been a little upset Yeah, that's right, we haven't meant to be rude Personally, I'd like to offer you my apologies Oh, you haven't been that rude Sir Mary, Mary, where are you? In here Six lessons from Madame LaZonga You do the rhomber, the lulaconga Six lessons and oh, hello, hello, everybody I'm sorry, I'm late I was just practicing that new rhomber step Oh, Timothy, I was just saying That I thought it would be a good idea If you and Miss Gray joined us for dinner Yes, what do you say, Dad? For dinner? Well, I'm not quite sure We have all your favorite dishes You have? Well, why didn't you let me know about it? Well, it's sort of a surprise Well, what do you think about it, Miss Gray? We have a party of friends waiting for us Oh, yes, that's true And it wouldn't be nice to keep them waiting Oh, I shouldn't think so No, well, I'm sorry But we could make it some other night Just as you say, Timothy Well, we'd better be getting along We're a little late now And I wouldn't want to keep them waiting If I am dear Thank you, sir I'm just trying out that new rhomber step again See, six lessons from Miss Luzonga You'll do the rhomber, lulaconga, six, you know Oh, say, wait a minute, I got it Six lessons and that's the companion Five million bucks walking right out of our lives And there's nothing we can do about it See, how did you like that rhomber I showed the family there? I think you got something there You know, it's a shame to go on deceiving them like this Don't weaken, now it'll do them good Well, you're the boss Oh, Michael, Michael just dives through the park as usual We'll let you know when we want to go home Do people get in these clothes every night And why they ever put tails on a man's coat? I don't know Don't ask me And why they keep guzzling champagne Night after night, I'll never know I can still feel the effects of your birthday party Every time I shake my head See, the family was being very nice to you when I came down Oh, they had me scared to death Yeah, they're even nice to me lately Well, it's pretty simple You take something away from people they don't want And they want it more than ever You know, you've got a lot of common sense You've got to have common sense on my side of the fence There are a lot of nice people on your side of the fence Well, the other fellow's pasture always looks greener Does my side of the fence look any different to you? You can have it Begetting to feel sorry for the rich, huh? I guess rich people are just poor people with money Oh, this vicious night life is getting me down I'm not very good at faking When I do things, I want to mean them Don't you think I'd better be on my way? Why? I better get back to where I belong Before this kind of life catches up with me Oh, you can't walk out on a contract? Oh, this is the goofiest job I've ever had I don't see what good I'm doing in that house Outside of getting myself into a mess Well, whatever you're doing, it seems to work I've never enjoyed so much attention before for my family Why do you hang on to a bunch like that anyhow? Oh, well, I like them You really do like them Yeah, they're a pretty nice family Because I remember them Everybody do his own poison You're still in love with your wife, aren't you? Well, no, you see, after love goes away Something's left in its place that's even more important It's okay with you, it's okay with me I'm getting paid That's the girl But you know, we've got to begin thinking about your future Oh, don't worry about my future, doesn't bother me I haven't any squab coming Oh, just life life Well, we can go home in a couple of hours It'll be quiet, somebody may still be up Well, if they aren't going to the act All right, well, look out, here comes your wife Oh, good evening, did you have a nice time? Happy birthday to you Timothy, boy, I'll say we've had an evening You should have seen him at the Flamingo Club He was a scream He kept insisting it was his birthday all over again Well, there, wait a minute One step at a time What's no, I don't know What have I done to deserve people? Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, is she gone? You're a great actor, you know that Well, you'd better get some sleep Good night and pleasant dreams I've waited up for you, I wanted to talk to you Oh, well, what's the trouble? I've got a problem Who hasn't? About Michael Oh, what about Michael? He doesn't respond He doesn't work Well, you seem it's great I'm rich and I know it But it isn't my fault I try to understand everything he says to me Even though sometimes I don't know what he's talking about What are you talking about? You see, I'm broad-minded I understand perfectly about you and Father Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? Well, I shouldn't younger people marry older people Fat people marry thin people Tall people marry short people I'm afraid you don't quite understand the situation I'm not a child You're young, Father's old All right, Michael's poor and I'm rich And I love him very much But I can't go on waiting for the day What day? You know, when we'll all be the same Michael calls it dialectical materialism Well, what does that mean? I'm not sure, but I think it's when everybody will be more or less like Michael Look, I'm a little tired And I think you're a little tired, too But what am I going to do about it? I know you know You're a woman of the world I think you'd better talk about this to your mother Mother doesn't understand those things Oh, she's not alone Perhaps if I got a job, it would make a difference Yes, it might be a good idea That's what I'll do Then if I'm like him, he can't ignore me, can he? Oh, you're wonderful Huh? Why? For giving me this swell advice Well, now look here, I didn't say anything I- I don't want to say anything I'm in enough hot water as this Father Yes, he's really taking hold down there at the office Well, he's my son He's got ideas, TJ He's figured out a method of marketing a cheaper pump on long-term credit Or to make you a mint of money Oh, am I budding in? No, no, Mr. Tewiliger and I were just talking over a few personal matters Thanks very much for dropping in like this, Tewiliger Good night Good night, TJ Good night, Tim Good night So, Tim, what's all this about long-term credit and cheaper pumps? Your pumps have got whiskers and so have your ideas If I'm going to run this business, I'm going to run it my way All right, do as you like Look, this is really what I wanted to talk to you about, Dad I'm worried about Mother She's taking an awful beating But I haven't done anything Well, it isn't easy for Mother to live in the same house with another woman hanging around What are the women? Oh, oh, oh We don't know what it's all about Are you going to marry this girl? No, I don't inquire into your personal affairs And I don't see why you should inquire into mine Well, why don't you at least give Mother a break? Why don't you talk to her? I didn't know she wanted to talk to me Well, she does I just left her, she's upstairs Look, why don't we clear out of here tonight And leave you two alone? Maybe you can straighten out a few things It's almost 8.30, are you ready? Oh, hello, Mary, just a second now I'll run up and get my coat Dad, I'd be very happy to take Ms. Gray any place she wanted to go tonight Well, why not? What do you say, Mary? Oh, well, thanks I'd just as soon spend one evening at home Oh, wait a minute Is there anything wrong with me? Have I got Barry Berry or something? Mary, I don't like to ask you to do this But would you mind going to the opening with Tim? Well, I don't know, I wasn't very... Oh, please, Mary, you see, Mrs. Borden and I have a few things to talk over Oh, oh, I see Well, in that case, I'd love to go That is, if he doesn't mind taking me Mine? Why? And it'd be a pleasure Is it the car outside? Yes Well, come on, then By the way, where is this opening? Oh, I don't know It is, uh, I don't really feel like going any place As a matter of fact, we were just going for a walk through the park Look, you don't have to come along if you don't want to Do you put on evening clothes to take a walk in the park? I do it quite often Oh, I see That's why you ordered Michael to have the car, too No, we were going to the band concert In evening clothes? But I'm not submitting to a third degree unless you show me a badge Well, I'm not going to let you walk in the park alone I do it quite often, but you needn't come along if you're afraid of the dark Come on, come on, never mind the sarkis Pinozza, add the roast to the pinozza Oh, some peanuts, please Okay, lady, thanks Pinozza, add the roast to the pinozza Here, want some peanuts? Thanks, will this be dinner? Sure, everything's on me tonight Well, where do we go from here? Over on that bench That bench? What do you think we're going to find any room on that bench? We will Come on, squeeze in, pardon us, please The nerve of some people's children Well, we made it Sure, now eat your peanuts Don't look now, but love is certainly in the air around here Well, a park bench is the only place poor people can make love Say, lady, do you mind moving over? Me and me girls got a little neck and toe doves There's only room for one, I mean That's all we need, come on, honey, set Look, is this the only bench in the park? I'm beginning to feel like a sardine still in the can I met your father on this bench Well, that ought to make it a museum piece Say, is this what you and dad do every night? Not every night Well, you might at least depict the bench away from that seal pond Well, if there's anything you want to know about seals, I can tell you They eat nothing but fresh oysters on the half-shell every day It's too bad they don't like fresh blondes I've been thrown to them before, but they always toss me back Well, they've got more intelligence than I thought Hey, why don't you two fight at home? Can't even have a pleasant evening in the park without someone coming along to spoil it Let's go, Milton Now you see You're frightened, people Well, I'm gonna at least have a little more room Shove over Oh, pardon me, bud, how about us sitting there? Come on, baby Okay, Commodore Well, that's that Now the marines have moved in Why don't you go home? I can sit here as long as you can Hey, there's a way, hey, hey Hey, hey, look, Sailor Would you mind piping down? We'd like to listen to the band concert What's the matter with my singing? Just pipe down Oh, now you frighten me, bud What are you, a junior G-man? Oh, if you think I am, just step out on a walk Well, when you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it Hey, wait a minute, Sailor Sister, why don't you give your friend a liver pill? Hey, why don't you button up your lip? Would you two ladies like to fight it out? Come on, Luxie, let's scram out of here So long, junior G-man Go on, beat it Did you come here to fight? Look, I don't want to fight, I just want to talk If you don't mind, I'd rather listen to the music Oh, something, oh, something, oh, please Would you kindly move over, please? Here we go again, move over Oh, thank you Here is seat sitting down, kiddo It's a swell night, isn't it? The moon's just coming up Yeah, you know, you're very pretty by moonlight Miss Gray, Mary Wait a minute, what makes you think you can get away with that stuff? What, the kiss? Yeah, why did you do that? Because it's something I wanted to do Oh, you give me an idea, Mr. Borden? That's something I've wanted to do I want to see you Look, would you mind some other time? No, right now I just want to tell you what I think of you You're the most deceitful, double-crossing, sneaky Wait a minute, wait, what have I done? You know very well What about him? I told him I was going to get a job, just as you said I said And he says I'm just a spoiled brat trying to take somebody's job away He hates me Oh, well, we'll do something about it You've done enough You don't care anything about that You only go out with him so you can be near Michael Oh, for heaven's sake But you're not going to get him If I can't have him You hate me? Daughter hates me? Junior hates me I guess I'm a pretty popular girl around here After a short intermission, Mr. DeMille presents Ginger Rogers, Edward Arnold, John Howard, and Joan Perry in Act 3 of Fifth Avenue Girl Tonight we've asked Libby Collins, our Hollywood fashion reporter, to round up some last-minute fashion news for us just in time for last-minute Christmas shopping Here she is, Libby Collins Well, Mr. Roy, it looks like a white Christmas You mean we're going to have snow for Christmas, Libby, here in Hollywood? No, indeed That's not a weather report, it's a fashion report This year, white has climbed right into the fashion spotlight in the middle of winter Joan Bennett modeled a gorgeous evening cape for one of the fashion magazines It's made of chalky white gabardine with swirls of gold kid on the shoulders Marlene Dietrich in her current hit Seven Sinners wears a beautiful white afternoon suit Smart shops are featuring white coats even for city streets and white evening dresses will be as thick as snowflakes at holiday parties Well, I guess this year, Libby, if it's white, it's right That's about it, Mr. Roy And there's one place where white is specially right that's in winter sports clothes short white woolen skating dresses luscious white sweaters and adorable white fuzzy hoods and mittens Now, wait a minute, Libby Oh, I know what you're thinking, Mr. Roy White is lovely, but it does get dirty And? And, you quick luck's flakes is the answer Yes, all your washable woolens will stay fresh and new looking longer if you care for them with new quick lucks You see, there's no harmful alkali no cake soap rubbing when you use new quick lucks It's safe for any color or fabric that's safe in pure water That's why leading motion picture studios use luck's flakes for all their washables Yes, and that's why women everywhere depend on new quick lucks Why twice as many use it for sweaters as use any other flakes, chips or beads It's so gentle and it's so fast and then so thrifty a little goes so far Be on the popular side the safe side the thrifty side use new quick lucks flakes We pause now for station identification This is the Columbia Broadcasting System The curtain rises on act three of Fifth Avenue Girls Next morning and a curtain of gloom hangs over the Borden household Mrs. Borden, Tim and Catherine are submerged in black thoughts Even Mary is having a time trying to straighten out Catherine's tangled romance with Michael Good morning Kirk, good morning for three Mind if I join you for a cup of coffee, Michael? Aren't you stepping out of your class? Me? I haven't any class Look, just what is your position in this household? Don't ask me Michael, will you stop being a dope? Add a girl, keep your coffee What do you mean? Straight from the shoulder You're in love and you haven't dispunct the fight for the thing you want I don't have to listen to this nonsense You've made Catherine unhappy You make everyone unhappy Oh, so you know all about me? You're like a painted glass to me, brother You try to make everybody believe things you don't even believe yourself You're a pawn in the hands of your betters I'm off what? You're a renegade to your own class Is that so? You can't call me that and get away with it How dare you slap Michael? I saw you I'll pull every hair out of your head You'll do what, you bat-wing flapper Put that knife, put it down Stop waving that knife What are you going to do? You talk too much I'm going to carve you out a new mouth I don't care what you do to me But you leave Catherine alone Who says? I do You're going to fight for her, huh? Yes, I'll fight for her Michael Oh, my God That ought to prove how much he hates you Thanks for your use of knife cook Good morning all Say, where have you been all day? Home Just taking care of some odds and ends I slept most of the day Getting in trim to go out tonight Do we have to? Why don't you stay home for a change? Oh, I'd love to But we started this thing And we've got to go through with it Don't you think we've gone too far? You don't know My wife's like I do Well, I'm... Yes, I do She's completely cured Has she been talking to you? Oh, just to say hello Well, you've got to be careful She's a very persuasive woman Especially when she cries Listen, if I stay in this house any longer You're not going to have any family And I'm not going to have any sanity Oh, you're not going to run out on me I've been thinking of it No, no, you can't Not yet I'll put you out when the time comes But if she thinks she has anything to do with your leaving I'll be right back where I started Well, whatever you say But I've got a feeling that... Mary, leave it to me Will you leave it to me? When the right time comes, I'll put on a big scene You mean get out and never dock in my door again? That's it, what do you say? I'll think it over Higgins, I'm leaving Will you tell Mr. Borden and about a half an hour, please? You mean you're leaving for good, Miss? Yes Now, don't forget to tell them Very good, Miss Where are you going on a prowl again tonight? Maybe Any special victim in mind? I don't play favorites Mr. Malley, you're not dressed up No band concert? Good night Oh, now don't run away, let's sit down Listen, I haven't got time to go home Come on, I haven't sat on the front stoop since I was a kid Anyway, there's a couple of questions I'd like to ask you You don't mind, do you? Well, it depends Well, to begin with What is your angle? What are you doing in this house? You know the answer to that I'm goading Look, let's quit stalling Well, admit you've had us all pretty upset But that's okay, it's probably done as good But I'm getting tired of this mystery stuff There's no mystery about me You know, you're really a pretty nice girl That's what you think Well, aren't you? What do you care? You've got my father all mixed up And now you've got me all mixed up Look, why pick on me? I haven't done anything to anybody Not much, you haven't What have I ever done to you? Do you really want to know? No Look, why don't you go away? Oh, no I'm going to sit right here And you're going to sit right here until you open up But you're going to be sitting here for an awfully long time Mary Keep your distance Remember what happened to you in the park? Yeah, I'm thinking about that And it was worth it Listen, you, let me go Why don't you be honest, Mary? You know what I mean Let me go What's the matter? Afraid? I'm not afraid of you Afraid of yourself? Listen, you keep on your own side of the steps Or I'll bat you down Mary, what's the matter up there? Anything wrong here, lady? No, officer, everything's all right Boy, is this fellow annoying you? I told you, everything was all right, officer Well, watch your step, buddy Well, now are you satisfied? Well, I... Thanks for saving you from the law But I came here to talk And top or no top, Miss Gray, that's what we're... I heard her tell Higgins I don't believe it, she wouldn't do a thing like that Timothy, do you mind so very much? Of course I mind I'm going out and look for her Oh, Timothy, I... I thought perhaps we could stay home tonight together I made some stew, Timothy Stew? You made stew? Yes All right, I'll look for her later Oh, Timothy, thank you Boy, it'll be like old times, won't it? Just you and me alone Timothy, I was thinking Couldn't we start all over again? Start all over again? After the way I acted? I wouldn't think of asking you, Martha Well, you haven't acted any worse than I have The whole thing's been my fault No, no, no, it was my fault Oh, those innocent flirtations of yours meant nothing Of course not But there'll never be another Timothy, do you know what I've been doing in my spare time? I've been learning to rumba But for? So that I could go out dancing with you, if you'll let me Oh, well, we'll see Oh, Timothy, and you won't go looking for Miss Gray? Well, we'll see about that too Oh, Timothy, come on in, Michael Hello, mother, hello, dad Catherine, what's Michael doing in here? Oh, you didn't have an accident, did you? No, mother, tell them, Michael No, you tell them All right, Michael and I are man and wife Michael and you are what? We're married Oh, stop this nonsense It isn't nonsense Oh, but I don't believe it Married to a chauffeur? He's not a chauffeur Here, you may have the cap I relinquish the badge of servitude Michael, you go to the kitchen Here, you're not going to separate us Go to your room, Catherine You stay where you are Oh, send him away, Timothy The girl's out of her mind I'm afraid you'll have to go away, Michael I'm taking Catherine with me Naturally, she's your wife Oh, dad Congratulations, Michael Oh, Timothy Oh, wait a minute, mother Oh, but this is too much Married to a chauffeur Well, I wasn't much when you married me Oh, but she's such a baby About the same age as you, huh? Huh? Yeah Oh, well, all right Congratulations, darling I hope you'll be very happy Congratulations, Michael What's your last name? Oh, what's going on? Yes, or anything wrong? Oh, Mary, Mary, you're wonderful Just wonderful I can't thank you enough What's Mary done? Tim, Michael and I are married We're going on our honeymoon now Say goodbye, Michael Goodbye, oh, dad and mom Goodbye, goodbye Bye, Mary, and thanks again Goodbye, and good luck Great kids, huh? Timothy, thank you Timothy, hadn't you better tell Miss Gray? Huh? What? Oh, yes, yes, Miss Gray What have you got to say for yourself? Is it true you advised my daughter To will open a house of birth? I suppose I did You suppose you did? I want you to know, Miss Gray This is the end You've come between me and my family For the last time She'll be a little rough Rough! After what this woman has done to all of us Your mother and the merchant have his breakdown Your sister Well, look what she's done to your sister Well You're a wicked, conniving woman, Miss Gray You've hypnotized me for the last time And I was asked to, to leave this house I wasn't doing anything to anybody I was just sitting on a park bench Minding my own business I didn't ask for this job No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You forced it on me I'm sorry I ever saw you I'm sorry I ever saw this place I can't take it any longer Hey, wait a minute, dad What was that about a job? Huh? Job? Yes, Timothy, what was that? Dad, was she working here? Hmm? Working? Was she working here? She was working here. I knew it. Mary! Timothy, look me in the eye. Well, um... Timothy Borden, you all fake. Well, gosh, Martha, I had to do something. Well, I'm glad you did. Mary, wait. Listen, Mary. Let me alone. Come here. Where do you think you're going? Why should you care where I'm going? Well, I do care. I'm going back to where I belong. I'll say you are. You belong with me. And you're coming back to the house right now. I'm not. You're coming back if I have to carry you. Come on. Put me down. You can't do this to me. I'll show you. Let me down. You hear? Let me down. Here, here, here. What's going on? Out of the way, officer. Put that girl down or I'll run you in. Officer. Yes, lady? Why don't you mind your own business? In just a moment, Mr. DeMille will bring our stars back to the microphone for their curtain call. But first, there's a Christmas hint I'd like to give all listeners. It's about luck snow on your Christmas tree. Lovely, real-looking Christmas snow for your tree that you can make from the same pure white luck flakes that you use for washing all your pretty things. This luck snow costs so little, yet it makes your tree distinctive and different, just like one that's been out in the woods in a real snowstorm. It's very easy to make, and it lasts right through the holiday season. Now here's what you do to make this snow out of luck flakes. Take a large box of luck flakes and empty it into a big bowl or a dishpan. Then take two cups of lukewarm water, just two cups, and pour them into the bowl with the flakes. Now, with an egg beater, beat this mixture until it gets fluffy, like rich whipped cream. Then take handfuls of this whipped up snow and spread it with your fingers along the branches of your tree. If you want more sparkle, get some of that shiny artificial snow that you buy in a store and sprinkle it right on top of the luck snow while the luck snow is still moist. Christmas wreaths will look gayer than ever in your windows if you add a touch of luck snow to them. For your holiday table decorations, take pine boughs or just bare branches from the tree or shrub and spread on the whipped up snow. Now remember, to make this Christmas snow, use two cups of lukewarm water to each large box of luck flakes. Then beat with an egg beater till the mixture is fluffy, like thick whipped cream. Be sure to buy the large box of luck flakes. Now, here's Mr. DeMille with our starters. We're a long way from Fifth Avenue now, but here's our Fifth Avenue girl again, Ginger Rogers, with Edward Arnold and John Howard. You know CB, Ginger is a constant source of amazement to me. Is that good or bad? Oh, good, very good. Then you can speak freely, Eddie. Yes, what's amazing about Ginger this week? The discovery I made the other day. Good? Excellent. I was wondering around an art gallery downtown when all of a sudden I found myself in front of a drawing signed by Ginger Rogers, a charcoal sketch of the actress Maria Ospenskaya, and it was great. How do you play Ginger? Guilty or not guilty? Well, it's a form of insanity, Judge. You know, like you navigate your boat or Eddie gets out in the kitchen and cooks dinner, I draw pictures. And the very nice hobby it is with Ginger, especially when they hang your pictures in art galleries. What's on a program next week, Mr. DeMille? Next Monday night, the marquee will read Mickey Rooney, Dula Bondi, and Virginia Weidler in Young Tom Edison. Our play is adapted from the MGM picture with Mickey and the same part he played on the screen. It's the drama of a genius, but a genius who was a regular American boy. Tom Edison got into more than his share of scrapes, so Mickey Rooney will be right at home in the pod next Monday night when we present Young Tom Edison. That's as swell Christmas present for any audience, Mr. DeMille, we'll be listening. Ginger, I understand they're previewing your new picture, Kitty Foyle, tonight. Yes, that's right, John. I hear great reports on it. Good luck. Thanks. Thanks, John. Good night. Good night, G.B. Good night. We'll ask Santa Claus for tomorrow's IQ. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Mickey Rooney, Dula Bondi, and Virginia Weidler in Young Tom Edison. This will be DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. We want to remind you that this is the time to help the 1940 drive to fight tuberculosis. Purchase your supply of anti-tuberculosis Christmas seals now. Use them on all your Christmas mail. Show that you are helping to fight this disease, too. Buy seals for Christmas, and you buy health for the new year. Edward Arnold will soon be seen in the Frank Capra production, The Life of John Doe. John Howard has just completed the universal picture, The Invisible Woman. Heard in tonight's play were Claire Videra as Mrs. Borden, J. Arthur Young as Higgins, Christian Coffin as Michael, Lou Merrill as Terwilliger, Fred McKay as Hopkins, Verna Felton as Cook, and Sally Payne, Ralph Sadan, Alan Wood, Gene Webb, and Bob Burleson. Our music was directed by Lois Silvers, and your announcer has been Melville Roy. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.