 So this is about the fourth time I'm recording this video. And the first time I, after I finished recording, I realized that I left, or I didn't say something the way I wanted to say it, because I was freestyling. I am freestyling. The second time I recorded it, of course, you make mistakes and you start again. The third time I recorded it, I used a lens that I wanted to get a wider view. However, it's my Sigma Art lens, which for some reason doesn't work with my Canon RP. It doesn't even recognize the autofocus and everything, so I was shooting manual, only to realize after I put the card in the machine and copied the files that I was not crisp or autofocus. So I'm here again with my fourth take on this particular conversation or topic, which is still freestyling, so I hope that after doing it three times, I'm able to remember these things. But anyway, enough about that, let's get into what I'm here to talk about today. And it's one question that has been on my mind. It's quite compounded, or it's a, you know, a weighted question, because it comes with a lot of elements, yes, it comes with a lot of elements. So it is one question that you should ask yourself and be able to answer truthfully before you get into a relationship. Or if you're in a relationship, I know that this question comes up as often as possible, and it's more of an introspective question because you need to be able to answer this to yourself truthfully, to be able to be a better or equitable partner to the person you are with. And this question will be there or will come up, will grow with you as long as you are in that relationship. And it's the readiness in terms of your psychological or mental health. Are you ready emotionally, are you ready financially, are you ready socially, are you ready physically, are you an equitable partner spiritually, are you an equitable partner financially? All these things will come up in a relationship. So if you are not in a relationship yet, these are some of the things you need to think about before you enter the relationship. If you are in a relationship, these are some of the things you should be talking about constantly. If you've just broken up from a relationship, these are some of the things you should evaluate how it happened in the previous relationship before you get into the next one. So it's a question that is quite loaded and it's difficult to be true to yourself or to have this self-evaluation and decide or know for sure that okay, this is what I need or this is how I'm going to become a better person for the next course of events that I'm going to end up with somebody else. It's quite difficult to be self-aware to that extent. So it's allowed that yes, when you are infatuated with somebody, you don't think about these things because they are not, it is not a nice conversation to have with yourself. And so yes, today I'm thinking about this and I just thought I'd share my thoughts on some of the elements that I've already mentioned about this one question. Are you ready mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually and financially to be committing in the long term with someone? So the mental one for me is the most important one out of all of this because it's the bedrock of everything else. It's what will inform you, how you deal with all the things that come at you, the good and the bad. So if mentally you're not in a place where you should or you're not in a strong place where you can actually manage all the things that come at you, then it's going to be very difficult for you to be an equitable partner to somebody else. And I know that sometimes you enter a relationship with the expectation that it will solve some of these issues, which is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself because you're putting a lot of pressure on the other person to be your saviour. I've come to realise that in a relationship, the most you get in a relationship is support. You don't get saviours who take you up and heal you and fine, there may be some people who would just leave everything self-love and commit to you and do it for you. Which in the end, if you are not reciprocating, it will turn to resentment in a few years. It will come up because they'll be drained by the time you are healed. So support is what you will get and support here means that you have to personally recognise sometimes you don't even notice it, but it will come up in your argument, it will come up in your fight, it will come up in your relating to each other on a daily basis that you may have some personality deficiencies or issues that's causing clashes. Which means that you need to talk about these things openly and you yourself need to take initiative to seek help for all these things that have come out. And then the person is your partner's duty to support this particular endeavour of yours to help you become a better person, to become a better person for the relationship because the stronger you are and the stronger the person is, the better the relationship will be. So if these things do come up, are you going to be truthful to yourself that yes, this is actually true and I do need to record it. That is one thing you should ask yourself carefully before you jump into any relationship because it will come up. The second thing I'm going to talk about is the social equitability when it comes to relationships because when people enter relationships, for the most part, they think that it's just you and I against the world and unless you both of you are loners in this world and you meet each other, chances are there going to be other human interactions involved in your relationship, which means that you have to be mentally prepared to be there for your partner. Your partner has to be there for you as well, like I'm saying, to support each other. And the social engagement also is one place which tends to cause a lot of rifts because maybe your friends or your family are not nice to me or I'm not getting along with them so I don't like to hang out with them when they do something I don't want to go. Some people outright don't even give the chance to even engage family members or friends because they've had experiences with other people where it was their friends or family members that caused them to break up or anything like that. You have to put that aside. You have to be a social being supporting your partner in even being present at all these, you know, activities. Sometimes your partner doesn't even want to be there, which means that it's your going that makes it easier for them to be there. You have to be a social animal. You're taking on their friends or their immediate environment as part of your own and you have to psych yourself up to want to, you know, play your part in this as well. The third thing is the finances, which will people underestimate but causes a lot of issues in relationships. Over here in being an equitable partner, you find that it's unless you are literally in business together, which is also another issue on its own. If your partner is working somewhere, you're working somewhere, do your own thing. Chances are your earnings will not be the same. So equitability here for me is when you understand that this is what it is that I'm earning more than you or you're earning more than I am. And this is what I can provide and this is what you should provide. It's not trying to match up. Stop competing. It's not trying to match up your partner. I mean, it's good that they motivate you to want to do more, to want to get more, to want to, you know, get better, you know, at leveling up. But if what you can take care of is the small things or you're giving what you are equitably supposed to, then it's what you're supposed to work for. Don't leave your financial burdens on someone. I know it's, you know, difficult to have these conversations because traditionally some people are of the mentality that when you go into a relationship, for the most part, the man is supposed to take care of things and you, the woman when you have your money is for you, but his money is for both of you. If that's, that works for you and your kind of relationship, that's perfectly fine. But if you are two people who want to build something stronger together, then equitability needs to be communicated from scratch. You need to invest together. You need to make sure that you're working to make sure that financially you are both happy with what you're giving or bringing to the table. And not that one person is doing way more and it comes up in arguments and the person has the nerve to, you know, tell you off or make you feel like you're not doing enough so you don't have a say in the conversation. So these are some of the things that will come up. So financially you should work toward being an equitable partner and hopefully have a partner who's open-minded enough to know that you are also giving your utmost best in sustaining the relationship financially. I've talked about the mental, okay, yes, let's talk about the physical. And with the physical aspect of being in a relationship, you come to find that in the infatuation stage or dating stage, things are heated up all the time. In terms of physical intimacy, that's what I'm talking about. Over time when you get together, that's fire or die out or would hit a plateau and that is absolutely fine. Don't go into relationship with the expectation that you're going to be humping each other every single night. There are people like that. There are people like that who meet themselves and they can get, you know, enough of each other till whenever. But if you realize that physically the activities are not as heated as before or as often as you remember, it's what it's supposed to be. It's normal. It's not a reason for you to think that there's something wrong and you want to finance it somewhere else. No. So that is for the physical. In terms of your physical health, it's also your responsibility because, well, if you don't take care of yourself, it affects your partner because if you get sick, you're going to use the money to take care of your partner and you're going to be a burden on the other person and it's all not necessary, unless it's an accident or something that your body, you know, attacks you or autoimmune something, then that's different. But your physical health is also in your hands to ensure that you are in top shape all the time. And when it comes to the spiritual, spirituality here is usually an individual journey. And if you are very spiritual to some extent, you cannot force your beliefs or you cannot, you know, try and change or you can't force things on people. Spiritual journeys are individual. Some people exist and they're OK with existing, not worrying about any spiritual aspect of anything. Today, the present, what is here is what they believe in. It doesn't mean that you can't be in a relationship with somebody who, you know, is also very spiritual. Usually when you talk to spiritual people or religious people, they tend to have this automaton that it's a religious partner or nothing. If that works for you and you get a religious partner, just make sure that all these other aspects that we're talking about are not overlooked. Sometimes we give too much attention to some aspects of the relationship, neglecting others and they come up and they realize that you're not, you know, mentally prepared to handle some of these things. So this is what I wanted to talk about, that you should be able to truthfully answer these questions to yourself with your partner before, during and if you end up not being together, self-evaluate before you enter that relationship. It's a cycle and that's it for this video. If you have any comments about what I've just talked about, hopefully I remembered them correctly or as I wanted to share them with you, please leave it in the comment section below. I was actually thinking of doing a live video for this particular one, but if the follow-up has to be live, can you let me know if you want us to discuss this on YouTube Live and what day will be good? Then we can chat about this. You can share your experiences with me, you can ask your questions. There may be people on the live who will have, you know, better ideas or better experiences to share and I may have not articulated some of these things well. It's my individual perspective, yes, my individual perspective that I'm sharing because it was bothering on my mind and I thought I spew it out as a video diary, like I said in the beginning. So yeah, let's do that and I'll catch you again in the next one. My name is Kwame and peace.