 We're gonna talk about how to avoid these these relationship pitfalls Number one number one with a bullet and if you've ever seen me speak before this is usually my number one with a bullet awareness Simply having awareness not saying oh, I'm feeling this rush of chemicals. I'm in love. Everything's perfect I found my soulmate Not doing that first of all keeping it in perspective Right This is fun. I'm going to enjoy this. This is awesome. This is just a drug This is just a chemical reaction a fun one a super fun one But I'm not going to make it into anything more than it is I'm going to enjoy it for what it is and not going to assume that this person is now my the person I'm meant to be with because of it Right. I'm going to look at up. There's that pitfall. I can see how I'm doing that Right, I can see how maybe I'm triggered by this person Maybe I'm liking this superficial thing about them and it's causing this greater Uptick in these behaviors coming from me awareness Seeing it catching it. All right next thing the next big thing slowing down slowing things down Not saying it's easy That's for sure when you have those that rush of chemicals man You just want to speed everything up you want to spend every waking second together have as much sex as you possibly can all the time All right, but the faster you go Less like you are to catch yourself tumbling down this rabbit hole. I mean sex too All right, I'm going to say slow down sex. I know we're human beings. It's really hard to slow down sex. However It's a very intimate experience To human bodies Getting as closely spiritually connected as can possibly happen. It's an emotional experience Right, if you're feeling that connection already you sleep together all of that stuff is going to skyrocket and your 10 year your chances of falling into some of these traps in the sky rock once again I'm not saying you're going to be perfect saying awareness See what see notice the effects be aware of the effects that your actions have And be real with what it is and don't make it into something. It's not slowing down This is this is actually something that I'm very proud of myself for doing recently just this past summer I met a met a woman and we had Whoo about as strong as one of those Connections as I can remember having in a while. I mean this was intense. This was super like I mean We've been like on our second time hanging out We were looking at each other and we were just saying like we are so screwed right now because we know exactly where this goes We know exactly what this is, right? So what did I do though because since January now? I've been wanting to do things different since January I've been examining this stuff different Right So I said, okay. I'm feeling all this. I'm very excited about this person. We're gonna take a week Just before I see this person again. I'm just gonna take a week. I want to see him tomorrow I want to see him right now this second. I'm gonna take a week Right And that week came I'm a little more calm down. I had a chance to process my emotions before Started spending more time together still fire is all heck, but I was able to catch red flags a little more So The decision I made in that moment was that I basically friendzoned her at that time I saw yeah, we've got this super hot thing, but I know that if we jump down this path It's gonna turn into a huge blazing firefire. I can guarantee there's nothing good that can possibly come from this in the long run So I friendzoned her and who knows you know, maybe we could develop Something else like further, but I knew that like that intense like that was just the fastest highway to hell You could imagine there was no turning back That's just like tear off the the brakes because this thing is just going downhill and it's not stopping I jumped out at the last minute before it's going down first time in my life I was able to stop an unhealthy situation a painful destructive unhealthy situation before it happened pretty proud of myself for that But I'm down. I don't know. I'll pause that one Other things you can do to avoid these situations talking to friends, right? They've got this third party Looking you can talk to them about and you can say hey am I being crazy right here or is something else going on? Even more important listen to your friends When your friends I don't like that person Listen to them my dear guy. You don't want to how dare they speak negatively about the love of your life, right? Do your best listen to your friends Practicing good communication when you're getting into those situations and you want to put your best self for it And there's things that you're maybe wanting to hide All right Honesty practicing honesty. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it sucks, but man the benefits are big Now that's not saying oversharing either. That's that's that's another issue that people can run into. They just spill everything Oh my god, I love this person. I want them know everything ever about me. That's not healthy either Healthy relationships healthy friendships. There's a gradual getting to know getting to trust opening up feeling safe Building things slowly over time, right that philia All right, you don't don't dump everything so healthy communication once again You ever want to know what that looks like think about your best friend. How do you talk to them? All right people always I got to go back to it because these these breakups happen and They always say the same thing you always say the same thing. Well, we'll still be friends. Well, we'll still be friends Which is ridiculous because you were never friends to begin with like that person was not your feet You spent 24-7. Yeah, you're enjoying all the good chemicals that you're feeling from this person But you don't talk to this person the way you talk to your actual friends Right, you never had that actual connection But it's important it's so so important to have that philia right It's if you don't have that foundation of Philia underneath that your relationship will not last it will never last I guarantee it you want to know here's a here's a statistic you can look this up any way you want to right? What relationships have the highest chance of staying together by a long shot? It's not even close. It's something like 90% to everything else an insanely high percentage of chance of success Any guesses? What kind of relationships have the highest percentage chance of success?