 Item number SCP-566 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures All copies of SCP-566 are to be stored in low-valuable item storage on Site-10. Any new instances of SCP-566 are to be assessed by a designated researcher, with Level 4 clearance for this purpose. And instances of SCP-566 are to be treated as a cater-level threat. To this extent, Foundation operatives are to regularly inspect the stock of bookstores and libraries for instances of SCP-566, as well as any other literature or stationery published by the Living Language Linguists League. Websites, file-sharing sites, and forums are to be monitored for scanned or transcribed SCP-566 contents, and DMCA takedowns issued if any such is found. Any new reports of anomalies are to be cross-checked with known SCP-566 contents database, in order to both ensure a standard response, and to make sure any SCP-566 copies potentially present are found. The classification SCP-566-A is to be used for anomalies related to SCP-566 use. See Document 566 Alpha for List and Associated Containment Procedures. Description SCP-566 refers to a set of tear-off desk calendars, sold under the name Word of Day 2009 Edition, wacky wordables and idiosyncratic idioms, with manufacturer listed as Living Language Linguists League. Note, no records of a company or association exist. The front page, where present, includes a black-and-white logo consisting of a stylized tongue in a top hat, raising a champagne glass in one hand, and holding a book in the other. SCP-566 instances themselves exhibit no known anomalous properties, with sample analysis showing no deviation from listed or expected composition. Note, the base is assembled from molded PVC parts, while the calendar itself is printed using common printing inks on standard-coded fine paper, joined with polyvinyl acetate glue. The only known anomalous property of SCP-566 occurs when an individual reading an entry taps a bolded word in the entry definition with his index finger. The contents of the page change, displaying the definition of the tapped word. The new entry retains this property. The means of returning the entry to its original state are currently not known. SCP-566 was declared anomalous, due to its contents. While 80% of the entries consist of uncommon English words, the remainder can be categorized according to log 1. Log 1 Anomalous Contents of SCP-566 Breakdown Entry Type Definition of mundane words or idioms coined post-publication date Proportion 3% Example Sopholizing Noun Definition Listed Using the internet or other electronic devices to socialize with people from home, rather than meeting them face to face. Entry Type Definition of mundane words or idioms not previously known Proportion 10% Example To Brezhnev Verb Definition Listed To cover with a thick metal plating after Eli Brezhnev, General Secretary of CPSU, known for wearing an excessively large amount of metals. Entry Type Definition of words referring to anomalous subjects or events Proportion 4% Example Fiffle Stinks Noun Definition Listed A 5thist worshiper from their tendency to turn themselves into sentient smoke. He's full of it like a tense full of fiffle stinks. Set of a teller of fanciful stories, a liar. Entry Type Definitions explicating anomalous acts or events Proportion 2% Example Gob Sacking Noun Definition Listed A trick usually done by hungry college students which goes as follows. A number of them, usually 6-12, meet and to form an extra-dimensional pocket inside the mouth of one of them, referred to as the Gob Sack. The fellows will then pool their money for an all-you-can-eat pizza parlor entrance fee. They wait outside while the Gob Sack enters, and artfully pretends to eat as much pizza as he deems sufficient, stuffing it into the pocket without chewing. The rest of the group await him outside, where they will f**k and partake in the loot. Entry Type Definitions of words or idioms referring to classified subjects or events Proportion Less than 1% Example To Brundle About Verb Definition Listed To show markedly less activity than doing nothing, after Brundle, a pet mass of cellular matter of Dr. P. It is of note that individual instances of SCP-566 differ in roughly 20% of their contents, with no clear pattern in the distribution of the differences. As of now, 56 instances of SCP-566 have been contained. First known instance of SCP-566 was recovered from the House of J.F., after his unsuccessful attempt to follow SCP-566 definition of, to Boscovice, which resulted in him splitting into 16 ambulatory sentient segments. SCP-566 was reclassified as safe after Brundle led to the recovery of additional instances of SCP-566, which differed in content from SCP-566-1, resulting in the need for a systematic containment procedure not consistent with the anomalous item classification. Addendum 566-1 SCP-566 Contents Database To facilitate keeping a unified knowledge base of SCP-566 contents, all entries considered anomalous as per log 1 in SCP-566 are to be logged with the following format to facilitate computer processing. SCP-566 instance number, calendar date, word or idiom, definition, Researcher Eisenberg, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 13-1 2009, word or idiom, Hellenius, adjective, definition, Portmanteau of Hellenic and odious, in a remarkably bad economic situation coined by Nikos after Greek economic collapse caused by the 2000 olive plague, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 15-1 2009, word or idiom, Scabbard, Abel's, noun, definition and arse. After Abel, a *** said to have been bound by the *** who could materialize swords out of nowhere. SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 11-2 2009, word or idiom, Tabascovize, verb, definition, to split oneself into multiple bodies of shared mind, most commonly done by *** and forcing the *** into the newly grown mouth, upon which the body splits seamlessly. Regularized by Don Giovanni Bosco, a 19th century Italian Catholic priest. In a broader sense, Boscovist is used to describe a nosey, overbearing person, as in the children's rhyme, Boscovist, Boscovist, where you look there he is, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 19-2 2009, word or idiom, smooch, old man's, noun, definition, gangrene, after data expunged, whose secretions have a corrosive effect on human tissues. SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 21-2 2009, word or idiom, ear blind, adjective, definition, unable to navigate using sound, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 26-2 2009, word or idiom, airline, Promethean, noun, definition, an explosion, next thing John knew, he was riding the Promethean airline, he was thrown away by an explosion, Promethean airline ticket, explosive device, after Prometheus labs, an organization notorious for poor workplace safety, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 03-3 2009, word or idiom, Keter sweater, noun, definition, from Keter, a designation for highly hazardous objects requiring active containment measures, used by the SCP foundation, one, advanced means of personal protection, such as those issued to mobile task forces, put on your Keter sweaters guys, we're going skip hunting, two, naysayer, coward, excessively scared person, I heard Jim hasn't eaten properly ever since he's been posted at, yeah, he's such a Keter sweater, researcher Western, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 23-2017, word or idiom, to chilled attach, verb, definition, to apply any sort of media on any platform to be judged by other people, without seeking prior feedback on that media, author, this article has been clearly chilled attached, with numerous grammar and spelling errors scattered throughout, please seek feedback on your article before posting, researcher Piccolo, SCP-566 instance number, 566-1, calendar date, 21-8 2017, word or idiom, to denaze, verb, definition, to cut off one's nose, following their sentencing, the prisoners were denazated, addendum, 566-2, incident 566-1, on 10-27 2012, a catalog arrived at site 10, which currently houses SCP-566, there was no return address provided, its front cover consisted of the text, living language linguists league, and the company logo, and attached note red, heartfelt greetings, friends of the written word, although data expunged, two antecedent years have been a trying time for all of us, we have not, as you might have feared, gone hellenious, instead, we offer you a crispy new 2013 edition of our wacky wordables and idiosyncratic idioms word a day calendar, and there's more, for incisive minds, playful spirits, and connoisseurs of obscurity, we have daily calendars, featuring terms from spelliology, surgery, and part in the pun, the early bird gets the worm, and the early buyer gets a 20% discount, wait no more, and word up, inquiries made throughout the site revealed that nobody had requested any such catalog, and testing revealed that it was not anomalous. Lesson complete, if you missed the previous orientation, go watch SCP-565, Ed's Head, right now, or for the complete course, watch this playlist.