 Lever Brothers Company, makers of swan, the soap with the exclusive super creamed bland presents Our friend swan with my friend Irma Starring Mary Wilson as Irma and Kathy Lewis as Jane Friendship friendship Just a perfect friendship when other friendships have been forgot Bears will still be hot My friend There's an explanation for everything, but I don't think that goes where Irma Peterson is concerned Why do I say that well a few minutes ago I told Irma that in the Arctic Circle the nights are six months long and Irma said Gee when a girl goes to a dance her mother must say be a good girl and try to get home before July Hi Normally those things uh jolt me but tonight i'm too busy addressing a stack of envelopes for Richard to waste any time trying to straighten Irma out Jane who are you writing to no one we know honey You see Richard is greatly interested in the primary elections and he's coming here with a stack of elections circulars He wants me to mail circulars Yeah, you know there's a picture of the man and underneath it is a description of what he's done Oh, I know like those pictures of al's friends that are hanging in the post office This is a different kind of circular you see these men hold offices they don't hold them up Come in Well, here they are Jane. Hello Irma. Hello Richard. I'll take the circulars Richard Gee, I've never seen you so excited. Well, this is exciting and important work We're doing if we can get the voters behind the reform ticket and elect our man Robert Colby This district will at long last be represented by an honest man in council Richard. Is there any way I can help? Yes, yes, you can vote. No, I can't those voting machines always get me so confused Well, honey, what's there to be confused about all you do is press down a lever? Yes, but I don't know where to put the nickel Well, I'll explain it to you later Irma Richard. Is there anything else I can do for you? No, no, I just got the circulars out. I'm going down to headquarters and keep things moving Oh, and uh, keep spreading the word around Colby for councilman. All right, Richard. See you later Jane What sweetie, isn't there any way I can help in the election No, honey, electioneering is important work. It takes the toil of endless hours. Well, that's why I want to help What good is woman's suffrage if I don't get a chance to suffer? Get it, will you honey? I'm busy. Hello Who is this Joe No, Joe. I have you have a job for him. Oh, Joe, you're early. April Fool is 10 days off Oh, you're serious I'll tell him to call you. Goodbye What do you think Jane? Joe has a job for Al How do you like that his best friend turning on him after all these years? Can I just fold the circulars for you? I want to do something Well, honey, I don't want you to feel hurt, but I haven't got too much confidence in you ever since your cousin brought those campfire girls up here to hold a meeting Well, I thought that a log fire would make them feel at home. Yes, honey, but we have no fireplace Well, everybody makes mistakes. I know Irma, but you don't use judgment. Now honey, look at your shoes You paid 12 dollars for a pair of five dollar shoes Why don't you shop around on the future? I will Hello, honey. If you really want to help me, you can run down the post office and get me a hundred three cent stamps All right, Jane and don't worry. I won't buy it the first post office. I see I want to shop around Come in Hello, Jane and Irma my two little cottages one with a clinging vine one with an empty attic Can a potkin a man like you should have been a comedian Jane and darling, could I borrow please your dark glasses? Surely, why? Well, if you'll excuse the expression I'm taking mrs. O'Reilly out tonight Oh now professor, don't try to kid us. We know you're falling more in love with her every day Janey when a man courts his landlady. This is not love This is known as taking the bull by the horns Those aren't horns. That's the way mr. O'Reilly comes her hair Oh Hold it will you the two of you. I've got to get these circuiters out for Richard Irma. Will you please hurry to the post office? All right, Jane. Now honey, you know what to get. Yes, uh, three dollar stamps. No, no No, uh, a hundred three cent stamps. I hear I'll write it down, sweetie and don't shop around. Please Goodbye Janey, what's all this correspondence here? Oh this well Richard and the reform party are trying to get Robert Colby elected in the primary So we can get good honest representative and throw honest Jim Blake right out of office That and for that honest Jim is such a crook when he's campaigning. He couldn't kiss a baby without stealing the diaper pin Well, that's why we're all working so hard to get Colby in office You know professor you could help you tell all the customers at the gypsy tea room to vote for Colby for honest government Well, I'll tell them jenny, but I don't think it's gonna help. Why not after they eat at the gypsy tea room They are not thinking of good government. They are more interested in a good doctor Tell me jenny is Irma helping you elect Colby. No, then he's got the chance Yeah Now he's got to win an honest jim. Let's go professor. How about wearing a Colby for consul and pin? Oh, I'd be glad to. Here. Here you are. Oh, no, no professor not on your trousers On your jacket, please jenny. I know where the pin is needed the most You can count on me. Goodbye. Bye Honestly, I'll never get these circulars out. Never Oh joe No, al is you know monday is his busy day That's when he stands outside of the Yankee stadium and waits for balls to come over the fence Yeah, yeah, I'll have him called you joe Hi, jane Where's chicken? Oh, she went on an errand for me, al You know your friend joe's been calling like mad all day trying to get you That guy's uncanny, but he ain't cutting in on this deal. It's my own idea. It's a birth certificate with an adjustable calendar For dames who are getting old Tell me I'm not interested And I'd appreciate it if you'd call joe before he wears out the phone Irma comes back. I'm downstairs getting some ink for mrs. O'Reilly tell her Hmm dynamic day Must be a thyroid condition Well while she's gone must make that telephone call and there's only one man to call Who else but hello joe Al what is your problem a job for me joe, what did I ever do the major saw? No kidding you mean I get five thousand a year joe it sounds too good to be honest Or it ain't honest. It's a political job Well joe what sort of work do I do you see I couldn't take the taxpayers money for nothing Huh, I'll have an important duty to perform I keep whales out of central park lake Joe there ain't no whales in central park lake Oh in an election year you never ask questions Yeah, well, what do I do to get the job joe? Uh-huh Uh-huh I'd be glad to campaign for him. He's a good man. You can count on me. Goodbye joe Well, what's the matter chicken? Why so glum? I bought these stamps for jane chicken. You got the stamps all pasted on a cardboard Well, the wind was blowing I was afraid I'd lose them Yeah, I don't know why jane has no confidence in me forget a chicken golden days are ahead Before you know it little owl will be making five thousand dollars a year. Oh al they'll catch you and destroy your printing press No chicken, you know, I wouldn't be a counterfeiter. This is legitimate We got to help elect the one man who can give us clean decent government. Who al honest jim blake Oh, but al jane and richard are campaigning for robert colby They say jim blake is a crook Chicken it ain't exactly being crooked You see politicians figure they got to get what they can while they're in office because the public forgets them so quickly You take president hoover in office four years and watch his reward got his name on a vacuum cleaner And and adams got his name on a hat Lincoln is on a penny and wilson is on a hand Say it's enough to frustrate an honest man Oh, but but the papers say jim blake is the most dishonest man that was ever in office Just propaganda chicken. Look at the things he's done for the city. Take that that beautiful highway He built last year, but it cracked in two weeks. Well jim couldn't help that strong weeds Well, how about that bridge he built it it fell down in three days Well, honest jim couldn't help it if the rain dissolved the cement Besides honey, you're looking at the bad side of him. Look at the good He's done built his wife a beautiful home gave her a mink coat Gave his brother a pardon There's a man with a heart Yeah, I don't know what to do. I gosh. I hate to work against jane chicken Face this thing realistically I love you and with five g's a year coming in we can get married And there'll be no more of those long hours going to work every day You can get a part-time job You'd really marry me out. Why sure. I'd marry you chicken You think I like sleeping on pot benches every day until four in the afternoon I want to have a home to do that in I don't know what to say. Do you think jane will be angry with me if I help you chicken You know jane has no confidence in you. Well, that's true. She has lost a little confidence in me Ever since I mixed the brown white shoe polish together for my sport shoes Well, what do you say chicken will you help me with honest jim's campaign? All right, I'll I'll I'll do it because I know It means you'll marry me. It'll show jane. I'm smart enough to mix in politics, too That's the spirit chicken But remember we don't let jane know that we're working for the opposition if they want to work for colby Okay, we're for blank. All right, al Gee, I'm so excited about you and politics. Who knows Someday you may be governor and I'll be your wife never can tell chicken imagine me a governess Say ladies you can tell a lot about a soap just by feeling it Next time you unwrap a cake of swan run your fingers over the surface feel how it differs from other soaps It feels smoother as susie swan says Swan is really different The feel of swan will tell you in a minute Just feel a cake of swan and you will see that swan is different as can be The reason friend it's super cream blend says susie Yes only swan has this exclusive super cream blend that makes swan differ from other soaps And ladies you can feel the difference when you run your fingers over a cake of swan It feels smoother and when you take your bath scoop up some of the luscious swan lather It feels different too creamier richer. That's why swan does an extra mild extra thorough cleansing job on your skin That's why a swan bath is such a pleasure and what's more swan's exclusive super cream blend makes swan cleanse So gently rinse away so thoroughly that your skin looks smoother fresher younger Yes, don't ever forget the swan look is a young look The pain for robert colby is just going wonderfully. I never knew life could be so hectic, but I love it Richard and I've been working day and night, but we're too thrilled to be tired We're gonna put an honest man in office and nothing is going to stop us In fact, we're at a big rally now singing our campaign song Sure that will elect colby I'm glad you could come to the rally. Mrs. O'Reilly stood me up. She said I insulted her why She wanted to go to a horse show. I told her she wouldn't have a chance There's some rally boy of jail and Richard could only see us now. They know they're like Al I've been doing a lot of good work. Yeah, what do you mean? Well? I think honest jim has been wasting his time He's kissing all the babies, but they can't vote. What about it? I've been kissing their fathers Chicken you don't have to overdo it. By the way, did you get rid of all those circulars I gave you? Yeah Where I got rid of them no one'll ever find them Chicken I meant to give them out not hide them. Well, isn't there anything more I can do? No, no chicken. Don't want you to overwork your little mind. I've been overworking it honey. I hardly know it's there Well chicken, that's enough for today. You go home and don't forget tell all your friends to vote for Blake. All right Al He I can't wait until you get the job and we get married My my hope chest is all ready. I just put in six baseballs three tennis rackets and a pair of skis What's the idea chicken? Well, I written a book that a wife should be a good sport I Doing with that Jim Blake pin Irma you're not electioneering for that crook Well Al says he's not so bad and and if he's elected Al will get a job and Al promised to marry me Sweetie, if I bought a box of rice every time Al promised to marry you the Chinese wouldn't have anything left to eat I love Al and I I want to get married. I want children a home and a place to put all those statues. I want at Coney Island I know you do honey But but what about your conscience to wake up every morning and say Irma Peterson? You're a bad citizen I suppose so but it'll bother me more to wake up every night and say Irma Peterson. You're an old maid Well Honey, it's your life and since I know honest Jim doesn't have a chance you can do what you want Oh, thanks Jane. I want to practice what I'm going to say to the girls at the office tomorrow There stands Irma in front of the mirror and it's a site that would make Patrick Henry turn over in his grave She's evidently practicing the gestures that she's going to make in her speech But such gestures I have never seen Now she's shaking her fist Now she's waving her arms in defiance She's evidently scored her point. She's also knocked the clock off the mantle Now she's shaking her finger and she's pointing to her head. This can only mean that Blake is solid Now she's taken the Manhattan telephone directory and she's holding it over her head with all her strength Irma honey, what's the idea of that? Well, I want to show them that Blake will carry New York. Oh Hello Jane Richard Well, what's the matter? Your face is white as a sheet. Jane. I'm afraid that all of our work has been in vain Look at this headline. What's it about Richard? I'm too nervous to read it No, honest Jim Blake and his machine have dug up a scandal about Colby that'll cost us every woman's vote What was it? They claimed that 18 years ago. He struck his wife and on mother's day Oh, no, it can't be true. No, it isn't it was just an unfortunate accident. He just happened to trip with a hammer in his hand Yes, but Blake has distorted the story Richard, what can we do? Well, I understand that Blake is addressing the heads of all the women's clubs at Sloan's hall tonight Now we have to go there with Colby so he can prove his innocence. Yeah, all right, Richard But I'd I'd like to inform you that we have a benedict Arnold in our midst Oh, he won't help you Jane. We've got important people too Jane you mean that Irma is campaigning for that thief Blake Yes, I I am well, I'm surprised at you. Come on Jane. Goodbye Irma. Goodbye What's the matter chicken Richard and Jane are mad at me because I'm trying to help Jim Blake Gosh, are you sure he's honest? I already told you chicken Are you sure you'll marry me if I help him win? Am I sure chicken? I already told three of the boys to stay out of trouble because I might need them for ushers And chicken tonight's night you can really help the campaign You see honest Jim is going to address the women's club at Sloan's hall tonight Well, that's where Jen and Richard are going. I will make monkeys out of them Now the chief wants you to come up out of the audience like you wasn't rehearsed and testify that honest Jim Is the lady's friend. We got to swing the women's vote But out why did they pick on me chicken? There's more chance of you saying the right thing. You don't know him. I mean They they don't want anybody too professional looking they want somebody with charm and personality and what the French call Celagere All right, Al I'll do it if only for our children's sake Yeah Every time I see children I get goose pimples Of course, you wouldn't understand you'll never know what it is to be a mother Well chicken now you got the right spirit and it'll teach Jane not to underestimate us That's right. You wouldn't let me on our bandwagon. Well before I'm through even my friends will want to take me for a ride Well chicken, this is Sloan's hall now when we get inside it's up to you to help swing the women's vote for honest Jim But Al when they call me up from the audience, what shall I say? Well, just say that uh, you don't know honest Jim personally But people say he will undertake everything that good government stands for undertake everything Good government stands for well, that's easy. I'll remember that Al Well chicken and remember my job our whole future together depends on this Let's go inside Hey chicken. Look Richard's about to speak Well Richard and Jane are for Colby and we're for Blake. I feel like that Japanese spy harry carry Shh Richard's gonna speak Ladies of the metropolitan district As you know honest Jim Blake has cooked up a smear campaign to besmirch the good name of our candidate Robert Colby And I think it is only fair that you hear the true story from his own lips And here he is the honorable Robert Colby ladies Ladies, please Listen to me, please Let the man have a chance on that Richard they won't even let him speak. That's Jim Blake's doing. He's got his co-workers out there to influence the other women Oh Richard you mean we have no chance. No, nothing could win the election now. Nothing. Oh Look at that pompous crook. Honest Jim Blake Why he's getting up on the platform Look how cocky he is Richard. You all know me. I'm as tim Blake Oh, thank you. Lovely ladies mothers sisters aunts nieces In fact, all of this lovely feminine Palkritune It has been contended by my opposition that I am a thief They will tell you I stole 1,842 thousand dollars from the taxpayers I tell you ladies and I give you my solemn word Those figures are incorrect My opponents also contend that I secured my office through acts of violence This is not true and my former opponent would personally deny that if he were alive today But why should I ask you to take my word? Surely somewhere in the audience is someone who does not know me Yet knows the good that I've done. Get ready chicken. That's you step forward anyone at all Ah, here's a charming young lady. Who are you young lady? I'm anybody at all Fine, fine You don't know me young lady. Do you know I just know the fellow that works for you mere coincidence Now, uh, will you tell these wonderful ladies what you think of me? Uh, well, let me remember Oh, I know, uh ladies I don't know honest jim personally, but I know he will take everything the government will stand for I'm sure this young lady is just a little nervous. Yes, and I can't understand it. I was rehearsed so well Come on, she can run What about your five thousand dollars? You'll need that for flowers Trying to gather my senses all I remember of the women's meeting was that it ended with honest jim Chasing ermine owl down the aisle with a fire ax This evidently convinced the women voters that honest jim wasn't exactly the fatherly type For they have elected robert colby to consul almost unanimously Now ermah thinks that she's america's foremost election authority Fact last night I said ermah I see where they're talking about making macArthur president And ermah said oh, I don't think so. Edgar burgund would never let him go You know if burgund ever needs another dummy he can borrow my friend ermah I Noticed ermah doing something very strange Even for her And I said honey, why are you putting those watercolors on top of the swan soap? And ermah said well jane, I thought maybe the swan might want to color some of her eggs for Easter Oh ermah always being thoughtful about your swan soap Well that follows swan does a lot for you too Like the wonderful skincare you get the wonderful pleasure you get when you make your bath a swan bath You see ladies swan alone has that exclusive supercream blend Why even the way a cake of swan feels tells you that it differs from other soaps Swan has an extra smoothness you can actually feel in the cake itself You can feel a difference in the lather too swan's lather feels richer and creamier And after a swan bath your skin feels different because thanks to swan's exclusive supercream blend That swan lather rinses away so completely your skin fairly glows with freshness and light Look softer smoother younger. No wonder the swan look is a young look My friend ermah presented by swan another fine product of lever brother's company was produced and directed by sigh Howard Tonight script was written by sigh Howard and park levy folks next monday evening. Listen again to swan with my friend ermah Starring mary wilson is ermah and kathy lewis's jane the part of professor kropotkin was played by haunts conread Ladies listen the shortage of fats and oils is still very serious and it's worldwide So please keep on saving every drop of used kitchen fat your butcher will pay you for every pound rank bingman speaking Yes, there's a reason why spry is the cake making wonders spry has an amazing cake Improver secret try the spry one bowl way and be certain of lighter finer richer cakes every time No other type of shortening has spry's cake improver for new cake making success rely on spry the pure all vegetable shortening rely on spry spry rely on spry Union next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater immediately followed by my friend ermah This is cbs where 99 million people gather every week the columbia broadcasting system