 When the narcissist finally leaves you when they finally leave you You begin to realize that they gave you a mistaken impression They caused you to believe something that was not true for their personal gain You have no enthusiasm or ambition You don't want to do anything You don't want to talk to anyone You just want to isolate yourself and be alone for a while It's because the whole time that you did give your energy to someone You were tricked You were deceived You gave so much and got so little in return When you have given so much of your time energy and money You've invested so much into a person Into a future And you believe that they were wanted to build something with you But then one day you wake up and you realize everything that they were doing Everything that was really going on you don't want to be in that position again You don't want to be in a position Where you have to rely on someone again or where you have to trust them When you realize that you've been tricked or deceived It makes you look at yourself and wonder who you are It makes you wonder how did you get to this point? How could you be fooled by this fake this fraudster? You may have been victimized by them But as long as you see yourself as a victim You will not learn from that experience You will not grow You have to take responsibility for staying in that situation And then see it as a learning experience That is the only way that you will learn from the situation and that is the only way that you will grow Without responsibility and accountability You will remain stuck Repeating the same situations again and again And you will never learn anything You were enticed into being with a narcissist You were attracted or tempted by offering pleasure or advantage This should then reveal what your weaknesses are It should reveal what you are unable to resist Or things that you like excessively Which can then be used against you You need to identify your weaknesses and then strengthen them It doesn't mean that you cannot rely on someone or trust them again You just need to change the way in which you interact with people It doesn't mean that you have to become unkind, spiteful or unfair Vicious or aggressive in behavior Unwilling to give or share things If you feel the need to act in that way It means that you are still being controlled by the narcissist You are giving them power over you Because you are having to act in a certain way To cope with what you have experienced with them You need to strengthen and support your weaknesses Rebuild your boundaries As a way of protecting and defending yourself You don't need to change who you are as a person You don't need to be mean to people or try to exploit them Because then you are just taking on the trait of a narcissist And this is often how normal people become narcissists You don't need to do that You just need to strengthen your boundaries on what is okay and what is not okay for you You weren't involved with a narcissist because they got through your boundaries They gained access to your mind and your emotional state Which then gave them the ability to take control over you To make you be wielded or perplexed You need to strengthen the areas of your mind and of your emotions Which they were able to gain access to If you are a generous or given person You should set a condition or requirement That is specified or demanded as part of an agreement from the other person You should set specific standards of what you expect from them If they wish to receive your generosity or your given nature This is how you create and maintain strong boundaries Based on valid reason or good judgement These strong boundaries cannot be accessed or changed Because they can only control or influence you Once they have moved past your boundaries without being detected Once they have moved past your boundaries They have gained access to you And then it only leads to a steadily worsening situation This is why you should not let people cross your boundaries And you should not fear losing them if they do try to cross your boundaries If they are trying to cross a boundary that you have set You should not depart from your established course You should not depart from your usual or accepted standards Do not settle or lower your standards for anyone That is how you maintain your boundaries If they don't want to accept your boundaries Don't deal with them anymore You should not fear losing someone who refuses to respect your boundaries Anyone who has any respect for you Or any respect for themselves Would not question or disagree with your personal boundaries However a person feels about themselves Is how they want you to feel So if they have a sense of pride in themselves Or self respect They will want you to have the same sense about yourself When you allow people to cross your boundaries And you accept standards that are lower than what you desire You will accept however they treat you This is how they stick around for such a long time You forget who you are The person that you used to be And you wonder how it got to this point It's because they got inside your boundaries And then they began to decide what is okay for you They began to create boundaries for you They created these guidelines, rules or limits That work for them But don't work for you You need to strengthen your boundaries What is okay and what is not okay for you Identify your weaknesses Restructure your weaknesses Change the way in which they are organised To make them work more effectively Be more resistant to anything that is not okay for you Or anything that does not meet the standards that you desire Reinforce new systems of belief or behaviour Change your attitude, perspective, outlook, approach So you can then protect yourself And prevent the same types of people From entering your life And crossing your boundaries Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal links in the video description Coaching inquiries you can email me at narksfathercoaching at gmail.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon