 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the three signs he's genuinely falling head over heels in love with you. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you could be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms. Really quickly, my coaching is what I call heart-centered radical honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence. So if an F-bomb or two isn't your cup of tea, I suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions, by no means do I suggest this is the truth. You've got to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian, so my advice goes contrary to public opinion and traditional expectations. And one last thing I want to say, my coaching is for those who are seeking partnership in a relationship, not those that are seeking casual relationships, situationships or friends with benefits. So my tonality is based on those who are genuinely seeking a partnership-type relationship. All right, so let's jump into the topic of how to tell if a guy is genuinely falling in love with you. So when I think of the word love, actually, I oftentimes think it's the most misunderstood or misused word in the English language. I'm gonna repeat that. I oftentimes think it's the most misunderstood or misused word in the English language. In fact, well, I possibly think that is it. And I recently did a Facebook post on this. I actually did it this morning and I want to share with you a couple of the comments. A lot of people were talking about love from the way the Greeks use the word love, have they different layers of love? There's a gap and a number of different ways of viewing love. And as the comments were progressing and people were looking at it from the romanticized way, I actually put the following comment to actually share where I was going with this. So I wanna read to you, I wanna read to everyone what I wrote. I said, an unhealthy attachment to another human being is where I was going with this post. Often humans think they're experiencing love with someone and yet they are in a sad, unhealthy, uncaring or toxic relationship, calling it love. Personally, I call that martyrdom and worse, it's a lack of self-love which is usually the reason why they stay. I'm gonna repeat that. It's a lack of self-love that people stay in those types of unhealthy relationship. In a romantic relationship, love is a two-way street. And if one person is a giver and the other person is a taker, that's not love in my book. There, I said it, that's my two cents. So I oftentimes witness women in particular express how much they love their partner they love their partner in a unhealthy relationship and they express how often they give to the relationship to an unhealthy, unsatisfying or even worse, a toxic relationship calling it love. So I think it's really important to understand what the misconception around love is usually centered around attachment. I'm gonna repeat that, attachment. And what I mean to say is if you're not familiar with the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend checking this out. By the way, all the books I recommend are listed in Jonathan recommends books because this helps you get an understanding of what's known as love attachment style. And we can oftentimes choose partners, unhealthy partners for us believing that it's love when it's actually just an attachment to another human being. And to piggyback on that book, I wanna bring to your attention the book Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Henricks and Helen Hunt because this talks about the Amago, which is actually, we oftentimes choose people in our relationships that are very similar to one or both of our parents and we're seeking to heal the wound with our parents, usually some sort of dysfunctional wound or childhood wound or trauma with our parents. So we choose partners that oftentimes, and if we're not conscious and aware of this, we'll repeat the patterns over and over and over again. You know, I was listening to a podcast earlier this week and it said, the average human has summer between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts in any given day. I thought, wow, that's a lot of thoughts, but that sounds about right. Or at least I could see that to be true. Some of you probably won't believe that, but and again, I'm basing it on this podcast. And of those 80% of the thoughts we have are negative and of those 80% that are negative, 95% of them are repetitive thoughts. So imagine if you have a repeating negative thought going over and over and over in your head, it could be about the relationship you're in, it could be about yourself, it could be about your family, it could be about the traffic, whatever it is. Are you really in a genuine state of loving? If that's how much negativity, if the wolf we feed is negativity, then how can we actually be in a loving state? And I believe the antidote to that is gratitude, is to really practice an attitude of gratitude over and over and over and over and over and over again. And yet most human beings don't invest in their personal development, self-help and spiritual work. When I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work, it's to at least be a starting point to begin on finding that space within oneself that we can be grateful. So we have the capacity to love another human being, because if we don't have at least a little bit capacity to love ourselves and if our thoughts are 80% negative, then imagine how loving can you actually be in a relationship and this is true for all human beings. I'm saying men, women and all the different variations of what that includes. So I was listening to another podcast today and it said that 96% of relationships, there's a one person is codependent in the relationship. I'll repeat that 96% of relationships, one person is codependent. And I thought to myself, wow, you know, now I always thought codependency was the attachment to a person who has an addiction. In fact, if you're not familiar with the book, Codependent No More by Melody Beatty, this was like this book came out 20 or 30 years ago and talked about codependency in a way that was never discussed before. And this is still today considered one of the premier books. So I highly recommend and the subtitle is how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself, how to stop controlling others and caring for yourself. Now, some people probably would reject the idea that they are codependent. So the person, the therapist on the podcast shared some examples and I invite you all to lean into this because you're not gonna be able to recognize someone is genuinely falling in love with you nor is the person capable of genuinely falling in love with you if you're not in a healthy state of individual love for oneself. So let me give you some examples that she shared of codependency. Feeling responsible or solving the problems of the other person. Feeling responsible or solving the problems of the other person. Feeling used or unappreciated for all that you do. Feeling used and unappreciated for all that you do. Here's one, offering advice to others without their consent. Offering advice to others without their consent. Expecting others to do what you say for them to do. In other words, expecting others to do what you say. Taking things personally and personalizing problems. Feeling like a victim. Trying to please others in order to obtain their love or acceptance. And the number one component of codependency is a fear of rejection. And as a dating relationship coach for women, I can habitually say to you, most women operate from a fear in relationship of being rejected. In other words, I oftentimes see women don't speak their truth in relationship for fear that the man's gonna break up with you and coming back to my book, What the heck is self love? Anyway, chapter one, speak your truth, do it with kindness. And chapter nine is if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So I'm here to suggest empowerment for all of you women who are watching this. And I just ordered a brand new book. I haven't began reading it, but I'm very excited to share it. I'm not sharing it from a place of knowledge. I'm sharing it from a place of curiosity. But what I love, the title is a little off-putting. It's called Why Men Love Bitches, but I love the subtitle. From doormat to dream girl, a woman's guide to holding her own in a relationship. A woman's guide to holding her own. Ladies, you habitually give your power away to men in relationship, meaning that the relationship is dependent on his terms. And I'm here to say, you are in charge of your relationship destiny. And if you're not operating from an empowered place, then most likely you might be operating from a codependent place. And it doesn't matter what the guy does. If you're not coming from a place of loving oneself, and I don't mean you love yourself 100%, I mean, you're just loving yourself. It's gonna be difficult to appreciate love from another person. And I'm here to draw attention. Many of you misunderstand or misuse the word love when you're actually experiencing unhealthy attachment or just any attachment to another human being, or you might be experiencing the mago. So without, if you don't understand this, you might be, by the way, the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results. And it's time to shift that narrative for yourself, or at least that's my invitation. All right. So let's talk about the three signs he's genuinely falling head over heels in love with you. Now I wanna be candid with you. I'm not gonna give you three, I'm actually gonna give you six. I just, I put an and in between each one of the three. So we're gonna do blank and blank. But the first one, this is listen. If you're in a relationship with a really good guy, a genuinely good guy, this is how he'll be showing up in relationship. If he's really a genuinely good, kind-hearted, empathetic man who wants to be in relationship, who wants to be in commitment, this is how he'll show up. So number one, he make, oh, by the way, just showing you my notes. He makes you a priority and he makes plans with you. Those are two, actually, because one is making you a priority. And then the second is he makes plans with you. When a man is continually doing that, that's a good sign he genuinely cares about you, that he wants a relationship with you. And let me be clear. This is happens after the short-faced honeymoon. And the short-faced honeymoon is basically, these days, most relationships, it's about three dates before sex happens. And if you follow my work, you know, ladies, before the penis goes inside the vagina, you should be reading the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, okay? Because this is how you test men. And if he genuinely cares about you, he will want to read this with you. I'm getting email after email after email from women telling me, oh my gosh, this is working, Jonathan. I've introduced this book before we've had sex and the guy is actually reading it with me. And the men that don't probably aren't very serious about being in a relationship, at least with you anyway. So he makes you a priority and he makes plans with you. Even the plan to read the book together is a great sign that he's making you a priority and he makes plans with you. I can't tell you how many times I witness women, they get love-bomb, the guy comes on strong, they believe all the rhetoric the guy says, only to find out that after sex, he just stops making plans and he stops making you a priority. A man who continually does this for the first six months, he's genuinely falling in love with you or he's head over heels in love with you. Number two, he's protective of you and he shows he respects you. He's protective of you and he shows he respects you. A man who genuinely cares about you again after you've had sex with him and the relationship keeps progressing, he will actually show a protection. He'll walk on the outside of the street, he'll put his arm out if he sees that there's traffic. He will do small gestures to demonstrate that he's protective of you. If somebody is looking you sideways, he might feel the need to confront the other person, whatever it is. And he shows he respects you by being on time for dates, his actions will consistently match his words. His action, that's a level of respect when your actions consistently match your words. Because when your actions don't match your words, it's disrespect. Ladies, I don't know how many times I listen and witness women who are in relationships with men whose actions don't consistently match his words. And yet you still want this person, that's a person treating you with disrespect. And look, I'm your big brother. If I could be there on a first date for you, I'd have the shotgun out, I'd point at the guy's face and say, what's your intentions with my sister? Because what that says is, if you cross my sister, I'm gonna shoot you in the ass with the shotgun. What that means is there's a consequence if your actions don't consistently match your words and you don't treat my little sister with respect. And ladies, I can't be there for you to do that. You have to do that for yourself. This is why coming back to the book, Why Men Love Bitches, I mentioned earlier, is an empowerment. Ladies, it is time for you to take back your power. Would you write down in the comments or in the chat box, I retain my power. I retain my power. I do not give my power away to men. Can you please say that to me? I want to hear you say that. I want you to step into your empowerment because there's a lot of dating advice out there that is literally suggesting to women that your job is to merely be submissive to men. And I'm here to say, true, genuine men who want a serious partnership do not want submissive women. Now, I will tell you that men and women like cooperative people. That's a very natural thing to wanna be with someone who's cooperative and generally agreeable versus nagging, controlling, or worse, compromises their own boundaries habitually. We meant, and people don't like those types of people. What we really appreciate in human beings most when we're in a healthy space is we appreciate someone else who's in a healthy, empowered space. So I retain my power, okay. And number three, he wants to take care of you and he wants full commitment. I'm gonna repeat that, he wants to take care of you. Now, I wanna share something with you. I was in a relationship with a woman, my most significant relationship after my divorce, and I was going through a tough financial time in my life. I was starting this business. I had lost all my money in the market crash of 2008. In all transparency, I had to move in with my mom and dad in a retirement community. And quite frankly, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I was in no position to take care of anyone else because I could barely take care of myself. I was a train wreck. And I was in a relationship with a woman who accepted me. Now, she didn't need me financially or anything like that. She was very self-sufficient and she saw my potential. So that's what she was most attracted to but even I couldn't take care of myself. And there are a lot of men after divorce that can't take care of themselves. And it makes it very difficult to actually fully commit to a relationship. If A, you can't take care of yourself because on some level when you're in partnership with someone it says, I can take care of you. That was the whole idea of wedding vows. The wedding vows said for both of you is in sickness and health, I will take care of you through thick and thin, I will take care of you. When a man actually, and by the way folks, I probably haven't felt, I finally can take care of myself. It's taken me a decade to get there after that happened. Again, that was the market crash of 2008. So it took me a good 10 years to get to a place where I could really take care of myself although I moved out of my mom and dad's place years ago. But I now feel like I can take care of someone. And it wasn't until I had this awareness that I could take care of someone that I realized that I now have the capacity to fall head over heels in love with someone because up until this point, and sadly during this time I lost my 19 year old son Connor, I lost my mom, there's a picture of my mom and dad, my mom passed away, there's a picture of Connor, he passed away, so in 2018. So I've been going through a lot of trauma too. And it's only just in the recent last few months, the last maybe six months, have I really stepped into the idea that I can actually take care of someone. And now I know deep in my heart that I can actually fall head over heels in love with someone because I made that commitment before I ever met the woman. I didn't meme the other day on the community page, but a man can't really fall in love until he makes the decision that he wants to fully commit and that he wants to fall in love with someone. Let me repeat that he wants to fully commit and he wants to fall in love. And until that happens, it's very difficult to actually fall head over heels in love with someone because you need to have that beforehand. The sad part is most humans operate like this. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it instead of operating when I believe, I will see it. When I believe I can fully take care of someone, when I believe I can fully commit. In other words, when I want to take care of someone, when I want to commit, that is when a special person will enter into, at least my hope is for my own life. So, so I hope you got some value out of this. These three signs, he's genuine. They're really actually six. I'm just gonna repeat them really quickly. He makes you a priority and he makes plans with you. Number three and four, he's protective and he shows he respects you. And number five and six, okay? These are really all part of one, two and three. He wants to take care of you and he wants to fully commit. That is when a man can actually have the capacity to really fall head over heels in love with you because he's made the decision in his life that he wants this. And sadly, most humans are just strictly winging it, both men and women alike. And this is why we have such a dysfunctional dating, mating or relating realm out there. And as I said earlier, if 96% of relationship there's one co-dependent person, it's gonna be very difficult to lean into a relationship. When I believe it, I will see it. All right, I think you got the gist of where I was going on this part of the broadcast. Now let's move to the Q and A. All right, those who know my format know my Q and A is simple, write the word question. By the way, if you're listening to the audio version of this, you won't be able to see this but there's a chat box for here. Those are on live. Please write the word question, post the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat. There's a dollar sign in the chat box. All the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley who passed away. All the monies in the scholarship fund get donated to causes like the Hoffman process or Insight seminars. We've already donated over $2,000 to those organizations and I'd love to be able to give some more. So all of your help. And again, this is for only those live not listening to the recording. So again, purchase a super sticker super chat. All right, let's look for questions. All right. Oh, Jay just wrote, you're one of the only coaches who don't shame women for being strong, empowered and intentional in the dating process. If you want an equal then you should be the person you want to attract. Hey, fucking men, I'm in full agreement. I am all about individual empowerment. This is why I'm reading this book, Why Men Love Bitches. I'm dying to know. I'm really curious to hear what she has to say. I was reading the reviews and I'm very curious to hear what she has to say. So yes, I am. Thank you for saying that, Jade. I really appreciate it. All right, Suzanne writes, question. How will you be spending your Friday evening? I'm just curious. Well, I'm actually going to a party. It's called a stranger's party where 25 people have to bring one guest to introduce like it's a, I think it's called a stranger's party, but the idea is to intermingle with others to get to know new people you wouldn't otherwise know in your life. And who knows, I might get lucky and meet the love of my life at this event. So Suzanne, that's what I'm doing tonight. So thank you for asking. All right, let's see. If you have a question, post the word question or purchase a super stat or a super chick sticker. Lori says, amen. Trista says, I really enjoyed the book. She's talking about why men love bitches. Suzanne says, how cute what you're doing, Jonathan. Thank you so much. All right, let's see what questions we have. I saw one earlier. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Oh, a lot of people are saying they don't want, I retain my power, way to go. You have a question, post the word question or purchase a super sticker, super chat. I don't see any questions here. So let's go, we're gonna have a short live stream if we don't have any questions. Folks, I need something to talk about. Bring up some, bring up the tough subjects. I'm trying to think what we can do. You know what, I do wanna talk. Oh, I see a question from back up. Okay, good. Question. If you've been dating a man for a while and he's showing that he loves you, like you hang out with his family, he prioritizes you, but doesn't ever say I love you, what's that about? Okay, great question. So I love you for some people is the deepest form of verbalizing a commitment because it has an implied expectation of some longevity. I'll repeat that has an implied expectation of longevity. So while a man might be falling in love with you and he's demonstrating it through his actions, when a person says, I love you, it's almost akin to a commitment of something in the future. And it sounds like he's not ready for that. So my couple of questions for you would be, how long have you been dating? Are you having regular sex together? Have you talked about what a committed relationship looks like for either one of you? Have you had those conversations? And if you haven't had those conversations, I believe it's gonna be more difficult to lean into love outside of the limerence and lust most humans feel. I'm gonna repeat that outside of limerence or lust most humans feel. So I would start having deeper conversations. Again, purchase the book eight. By the way, if his penis gets to regularly go inside your vagina, you should be reading this book together. And when I say should, you must be. Because what's the fucking point of having sex with someone if it's not gonna go as... Listen, again, I told you right from the beginning of my podcast, I'm here to talk about partnership. I'm not talking about casual relationships, situationships, friends with benefits. You're more than welcome to do any of those ladies. You can fuck whomever you want. I am not here to judge that. I'm here to say if you want partnership, then be more intentional about it. So, and by the way, if you've only been dating three weeks, I don't think he's gonna say, you didn't say that, but I mean, he's not, you know, for some men it could take any worse from three months to a year before they say I love you because it hasn't implied expectation of some long-term seriousness. So that's probably the reason why. Thank you so much for that question, Beck. I appreciate it. Carrie says she typed a question earlier. You're gonna have to write it again, Carrie. I'm not a mind reader here. I can't find everything. Sorry. Okay. Joy writes, question, how do I get my boyfriend to believe I will never leave him after we marry? So if he has trust issues, here's how you're gonna get him to heal that. You spend the $5,000 and you go to the Hoffman process to heal childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that is causing that without that healing, he's going to be habitually afraid and have trust issues. Folks, you gotta do the work. You gotta do the work and you have to be with people willing to do the work because magic fairy dust doesn't change anything. Magic fairy dust doesn't change unhealed wounds and traumas. What heals unhealed wounds, it's gonna take herculean work. And I guarantee you, you're gonna have a dysfunctional relationship if he and you don't do the work together. So that's my suggestion. Go to the Hoffman process. By the way, people will spend more money on shoes and luggage and clothing, but very little on their personal development. In fact, the average person spends more time brushing their teeth than actually doing inner work to heal the child and wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes us human beings rather dysfunctional in relationship and have terrible emotional maturity and relationship skills. And I'm only yelling to get my point across. So Joy, I'm sorry. He's gonna have to do major work to heal that one. That is that you can't just simply say, I promise I'll be faithful to you. That's not gonna work. It just ain't gonna work. Ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't gonna work. Go do the Hoffman process. Change your life. Go to therapy. Go to counseling. This, he needs to do that, not you. Will you do it together maybe? All right, thank you so much for your question. I appreciate it. Jade writes, is there a fine line between being empowered without vomiting, nagging, being controlling? What is the definition of a bitch? A bitch is a babe in total control of herself. Babe in total control of herself. Nagging is not total control of yourself. Controlling is not being control of yourself. Vomiting is not being in control of yourself. Self-discipline is being in control of yourself. Read the book, the four agreements, the four agreements. This is a must read book. Is there a fine line? No, there is no fine line. Being empowered, you come from a curious, part-centered space. And when you're coming from a place of love when you're in empowerment and when you're coming in all those other places, you're coming from egoic fear. That's it. There's no fine line. It's very clear the lines, okay? Very clear. All right, thank you for that question, Jade. All right, let's see. Bump, bump, bump. Becky writes, how do you deal with the new man's unhealed ex who has stepped over her boundaries? How do you deal with the new man's unhealed ex? You deal with him with love. He's got an ex that crosses boundaries. Is it, are you gonna judge him for someone else's behavior? What you might encourage is boundaries for him. That's, you don't deal with it, you encourage boundaries. But if he is incapable of that, then listen, folks. Today's podcast, or broadcast, I'm gonna repeat myself. Folks, everybody needs therapy. Everybody needs healing. We are a fucking dysfunctional society here. My emotional maturity relationship skills chart. This is not a fact, it's opinion. 20% of the population has clinical issues. And while I say over here, 20% is healthy and I'm being ridiculously generous, most human beings are dysfunctional. You included, you included. We are a dysfunctional batch of people. Human beings are ridiculously dysfunctional and the only way to heal is to do the work. Magic fairy dust doesn't heal. Work heals. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. And that's the only way it's gonna shift this narrative. So, you make the recommendation of healthy boundaries and if he's incapable to do that, then you have to ask yourself, do you wanna be in relationship with his ex-spouse? And by the way, this is the challenge for those of us in divorce. Those of us that have gone through divorce. We don't, it's like, we don't get the, we're not just buying the cow. We're buying all the, you know, we're buying all the shit that comes with it. Whether we'd like it or not. We're buying all of the dysfunctionality. So, I prefer people to have healthy relationships with their ex. I used to cross boundaries with my ex all the time right in the beginning of our divorce because I still felt on some level married to her. That changed after a while. It took me at least five years before I learned to stop crossing boundaries. And she repeated it over and over again because I was dysfunctional. I was strung out on cocaine. I was miserable. I'd lost my job. I was a train wreck. People who are train wrecks oftentimes don't know how to set healthy boundaries for themselves or with others. And I'm only yelling because at the end of the day, folks, I watched a commercial the other day. I mentioned this in my last live stream, but I was watching a commercial where three women are sitting at a table. They're talking about this one woman's date. And she goes, oh my God, he checked off all the boxes. He's tall. He's handsome. He has a great job, blah, blah, blah. And they go, why are you dis, oh, and she ignored his text message. And the woman says he doesn't do therapy. That's a deal breaker for her. These days, this is a must. Human beings, we need it. I'm sorry. You may not like what I'm saying, but whether it's therapy, whether it's personal development, whether it's self-help work, whether it's spiritual work, if you wanna ever have a chance of the juicy, delicious relationship, it's gonna require both people having done herculean work to get there. And the reality is is most of you, most everyone watching this are gonna have dysfunctional relationships. Partially because a significant percent of the population has codependency issues like I shared in the beginning of this broadcast. So anyway, I hope I answered your question. I was a little bit cursed with you, curt with you, and I hope you will forgive me. So thank you. Penny says, question, how can someone my age get into the dating with a potential quality partner material? Penny, I don't know how old you are. So are you 25 years old or are you 75? I don't know, but how do you get? You have to be, listen folks, let's be understanding of something. If you wanna have a date, you have to be seen by a single eligible person. You have to be seen by them. Folks, I work from home. I'm very blessed. I live it with a gorgeous ocean view. I work from home, but I'm not out in front of people except for what I'm gonna do tonight, okay? I mean, maybe if there's a female burglar that comes through my door and says I wanna steal your TV, and by the way, you're cute, you have to be seen by single eligible people. These days, 75, or roughly 50% of all new relationships is happening through an online connection. And yet most of the profiles I look at online are crappy by women. I mean, just absolute crap. You know, look at this first picture. I can barely recognize her. You might go, oh, she's cute and darling, but I can't recognize what she looks like. Let me go to this one. She's wearing sunglasses in her first picture. That's a no-no. Another one, sunglasses in her first picture. That's a no-no. Look at this one. She's not even looking in the camera. This is the first photograph. Folks, if you wanna be seen by me or anyone else, you gotta put a quality profile together. Look at my profile. First picture, quality photograph. Next picture. A quality, you can't see it, quality photograph. My kid's dog, okay? A body shot. A fun shot. And lastly, the books I read. Folks, if you wanna be seen, you have to put a great representation of yourself to be seen. Otherwise, if you can't be seen, how can you be asked out on a date? You have to be seen by someone. And they have to be a single eligible person. Jonathan, where do I go to meet guys? Folks, listen, it's gonna require being more creative than ever before because we are a dysfunctional society here where we become the older we get, we become more closed off to people. And we become more set in our ways. So if you wanna have a date and you gotta maybe ask ladies, you might start having to ask men out on dates and understand that you might be rejected for it. There's no two ways around this. You have to be seen and you have to be desirable. What about that? You also have to be desirable because nobody knows your personality. Takes time to get to know someone. Keep in mind, we are meeting total strangers these days. So you gotta make effort. And I'm sorry, I'm passionate about this because so many, look at the profiles I just looked at, they all look like shit. They're not gonna get my swipe. All right, I'm done ranting about that. Thank you, Penny, for that question. All right, Homeboat Boogie says, question, who is the one if you're, wait, who is the one if you are in love with two? I have no idea what you're saying. Lori says, question, do you have any advice for widows looking to meet new special someone to share their life with? Lori, just what I just said, you have to be, it doesn't matter whether you're a widow or not, you have to be seen by single eligible people. Right now, online dating is the number one place even though it's the most dysfunctional place. Otherwise you're just, by the way, the other thing is folks, start asking your friends to set you up, start being more intentional. Because sitting at home praying, I mean, this is a good thing, you can certainly God, universe, spirit, allow me the opportunity to connect with someone special in my life, someone special that can join together and hold hands with me on this journey of love. And I'm looking for that true partner in my life, that person that we share the same values, our lifestyles are blendable, he has, we both have the emotional maturity and we have the chemistry to wanna jump each other's bones and fuck each other's brains out on a regular basis. So God, universe, spirit, Gus, please invite that in my life and do some inspired action to make that happen for you. Can I get an amen? All right, Deborah writes, question, why do some people just never seem to meet up whether intentionally or accidentally go, that go the distance, especially 50 and up, why do some people just never fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, people are afraid, it's natural to be afraid. It takes surrendering to love to actually be able to experience love. It takes a beginner's mind to experience love. And for those who have had trauma after trauma after trauma after trauma, both in their childhood, abandonment, abuse, maybe a nasty divorce, maybe a nasty partner, maybe someone at work, maybe a friend did something that affected you, maybe trust issues, all the different emotional baggage human beings are carrying, we are riddled with flaws. And it is so fucking naive, I'm sorry, but humans are so delusional. They're delusional to their own dysfunctionality, most humans, not all, most humans are delusional to their own dysfunctionalities. And worse, they're hypocrites about it. And then some even go worse and they're victims over it all. I'm a victim to it all. I mean, we are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness here in the United States. It's not gonna get any better. It's gonna get worse. But you don't have to worry about everyone else. All you have to do is care about yourself, to heal oneself, to operate from a place of love. What would love do? How would love respond? Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. The Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, thank you. Like giving yourself a shot of love, forgiveness. Forgiving love. I'm an invitation for all of you. Is to operate from a place of what would love do and how would love respond? Thank you for that question. Carrie, I finally found it, or you finally reposted it. Question, how do you find that you are, wait, how do you find that you are dating someone who resembles one or both of your parents? How do you find them? Are you asking, I wanna heal my wounds, so I wanna date the person that's gonna create the most anxiety in my life so I can heal my wounds? Is that, or how do you recognize them so before you date them? I'm gonna assume the latter. How do I recognize that? Here's the thing. It's gonna suck what I'm about to say, but the way God universe spirit designed our humanity, our own individual journeys, God universe, the spirit basically wants you to experience so much shit in your life, so much shit, so much shit, so much shit that you actually stand in your empowerment. Basically you're gonna be hit by two by four after two by four after two by four until you say, I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. By the way, does anyone know what movie that's from? It's a Academy Award winning movie back in the 70s. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. In other words, I am going to start living an empowered life. I'm gonna do the Hoffman process like Jonathan recommends. I'm gonna read the book, Why Men Love Bitches. I'm gonna read the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, by the way, all listed below. I'm gonna read the book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters. I'm gonna learn as much as I can about myself. I'm gonna even read the book, How to Be an Adult in a Relationship. I'm gonna read all these books and I'm gonna start doing the inner work so I can become an amazing human being because it doesn't matter whether or not I fall in love with someone else. What matters most is I fall in love with myself. Or do my best to love on myself. And God, universe, spirit is gonna throw curveballs at you every single day. And guess what? Life is a game. You can look at it as fun or you can look at it as, and then you're gonna be times when you say, God, okay, I get the lesson. You don't need to send it to me. But if you have to say that, God, universe, spirit is gonna keep sending you the lesson until you start looking for that love within yourself and then you won't need to attract one or both of your parents to heal because you've already healed within yourself. Can I get an amen? Kerry, thank you so much for your question. I hope that helps. Penny, you shared your age. How does one my age, 73, find a quality partner, widowed 18 years? By the way, go to widow's groups. But I shared with you, you have to be seen. You gotta find ways. I mean, I can't tell you what to do. You have to figure that out for yourself. Folks, you give a person a fish, you feed them for a day. When you learn how to fish for yourself, you feed yourself for a lifetime. You're gonna have to figure this out on yourself. But widower groups, Home Depot, golf courses, that's where all the men are. Start playing golf, start going to Home Depot. Ms. Kit Kat says, if he says love you instead of I love you, does that mean he doesn't really and just saying it? That's a good question. I think so. I think men who don't say I love you, it's because they don't, as I said earlier, they don't wanna give the perception that they will go the distance with you. So that's the shortcut way. Again, dysfunctional human beings will do dysfunctional things. By the way, sometimes you forget you're awesome and this is your reminder. All right, let's see what else we have. Nicole says, what are your top three tips for tips in finding your soulmate? What are your three top tips in finding your soulmate? Well, for me, she's gotta be into me. In other words, she has an affinity. I can feel that she's into me. Number two, she's got her act together. She's got her act together. She has her life together. She's not in drama. She's not in chaos. She has her act together. And third, she has a passion for personal development, self-open spiritual work because for me, that's where I wanna dance in that realm. So for me, that's my top three. You come up with your three non-negotiables. And then God, universe, spirit, I invite you to attract in that person who is totally into me and I'm into her. And I wanna attract in that person who has got their act together. And lastly, they're into the shit I'm into. God, universe, spirit, allow that into my life. Hmm, thank you. Sue says, even putting in the work or even with putting the work in, my fear is my very deep seated, rooted childhood trauma will always affect my intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I've been doing the work. Yep, you're doing the work. You gotta heal, okay? At the end of the day, you gotta heal. And sometimes healing is just letting go of it all and just trusting. That's it. Sometimes it's just letting go of it all and trusting that God, universe, spirit. Because you don't need to relive your traumas over and over again. And if you do, what's the definition of insanity? What's the definition of in suffering? Sometimes you just gotta let it go. All right, GS says, question, if he's my best friend, how do we step into more? Have sex with him. That's a great way to go from best friends to a relationship, have sex with each other. Question, do you think a person can have too much knowledge about relationships and too much life experience to be bendable with another immature person, especially 50s and older? You know, I vacillate over this question for myself. I am my own worst enemy. Part of my problem is I can't stop putting on my coach's hat. It is really a challenge for me. I think, let's put it to you this way. I could have had three relationships since my last significant relationship ended. All of these relationships ended if I settled. I could have settled on several relationships just to have a relationship. I think when you have knowledge, you actually come at it from ability to be in a healthy relationship. So all you have to do is trust. Trust that the universe will invite the most amazing person in your life. First, that amazing person is within yourself. And I trust that universe has done that for me. God, universe, spirit. And I trust that the universe will bring that in for my life. And if you need some help with that, check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. That's my answer for you, Deborah. All right, folks, you know what? It's Friday night. I want you to go out. I'll have a great time tonight. I hope you found value in the three signs he's genuinely falling head over heels in love with you. I just want to remind her what those are. Oh, thank you, Heather, for the $10 Super Sticker. But I want to remind you what they are. He makes you a priority and he makes plans with you. He's protective of you and he shows he respects you. And lastly, he wants to take care of you and he wants to fully commit before he ever, he wants those things before he ever meets you. I believe it and then I'll see it. When I believe it, I will see it. Anyway, really quickly. Oh my gosh, we have so much here. Did you find value in this broadcast today? Please let me know. Say, yes, I found value. Heather says letting go of it all and just trusting. Best advice ever, way to go, Heather, and thank you for the $10 Super Sticker. Folks, am I making a difference in your life? Please let me know. Post a comment below, post it in the chat box. If you would please tell your friends about my channel. Please hit that like button before we wrap up tonight. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrog of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Yellow Moon and Kit Kat and Jade and Angel and Heather and Loving Life and Susan, Suzanne and Vicky and Melissa and Kay Noles and Em and Crystal and Ramona. Hi everyone, Renee, Vicky, Elaine, Erin, Natob, I can't even pronounce your name. Nicola, everyone, I wanna wish you a fab, fab evening. Be well, take care.