 What's happening guys? Tampa 2014 and today we have a speaker coming all the way from Sydney, Australia. A truly amazing guy. He was a speaker at the Melbourne 2012 21 convention and also featured on the 21 convention podcast. He does corporate coaching. He's also the founder of the school of attraction and NLP practitioner. Let's all welcome Damian Dika. What's up man? Good morning everyone. Hey that's better. As you probably can guess already within 10 seconds I'm from Australia. I came here in a plane five days ago and there are two things that I love about the States. The first is the way that girls respond to my accent. That's pretty kick-ass. Second thing is the food. When I come to America you guys have some wicked food here. And two days ago I had what can only be described as the best hamburger that I have had in my entire life. And if you think about a hamburger there's a lot of parts that make a hamburger incredible. Okay the first thing guys is the buns. Not these buns though. These buns are just to keep you paying attention. I'm talking about uh hello yes these buns. These buns they were they were not too dry. They weren't too oily. They were just like melted in your mouth. You could eat these buns by themselves with nothing else. The meat patties the vegetables they used everything was fresh. It was just so juicy. Every single little bite was amazing. And as I tell this story I would be amazed if there was a single person in this room right now thinking that I maybe was talking about a McDonald's burger. Why? McDonald's do not make the nicest burgers. McDonald's do not have the greatest ambience. McDonald's burgers are not very good for your health. They're not very fresh. But they sell more hamburgers than every other hamburger chain in the world. So think about this for a second. McDonald's shitty burgers shitty ambience crap for your health sells like wildfire. This is like a guy who's not very good looking at all has a horrible personality and has every more women in the world chasing after him than every other guy alive. So the question that I want to pose to everyone here today is what can McDonald's teach you about getting better with women. You see everyone here they know me as a dating coach. But one thing you should also know is that I'm a businessman. I run a very successful dating coaching business in Australia. A business that is next year going worldwide. I do a lot of corporate speaking events and at these events what do I do. Well I teach people what about dating pickup and relationships should be brought to the land of sales or to the land of marketing or the land of business. What important lessons are they missing along the way. But today today I want to do the very opposite. Today I'm going to talk to you about what vital lessons you need to know from the corporate world that's going to make you a lot more successful with women. Now there's an experience that I have that I love in this world and that's when someone says something to me about something that I'm struggling with and it's so profound because it's so simple and so obvious that it makes me feel foolish that I had not in fact ever heard it before. And I like it when I hear advice like this because when I get feedback like this in an air of my life and they say something to me and I think god damn why didn't I think of that. Of course that means I'm about to turn a very important corner in my life. So that's what I want to do to you all today. What I want to do today is I want to make you all feel like god damn it why didn't I think of that because what I'm going to tell you to some degree is obvious. You're going to see like yeah that makes sense of course duh. I mean let me ask you in this room who here I saw some hands before who here has had the experience of trying to get better with women but not getting nearly as far as I'd like to inspire of some good effort put in. Yeah and so the why why didn't I think of that moment I want you to have is why that hasn't been happening for you. That's the impact that I want to have today. Now what I'm going to be talking about guys is mathematical, scientifically tested, hyper rational and therefore it's going to appeal to most of the men in this room. So let's get started. What do we have to do? What do we have to do? Well the first thing that we have to do is we have to measure and this is an interesting this is an interesting idea I know I don't mean like measure. Most men in this room have done that but what I mean is we have to know where we are. If I were to ask everyone in this room if I were to ask you how successful are you with women right now and you had to tell me have a have a think for a second and say 10 words how successful are you right now with women and I want one of you to get at least one of you to give me an answer someone give me an answer and I get to see if you got a mic someone give me an answer how successful are you with women 10 words or less yes sir back lovely all right that's an answer not a how successful are you with women someone else tell me how successful are you with women good or bad I like it we've got we've got two very satisfied customers yet a room full of guys who want it to be better with whom you don't like to be picked on in this area do you see what I find is that most guys most guys they limit themselves to a couple of ways of thinking when they think about their success it's kind of a little bit like this spectrum and the one under the spectrum you've got I suck and you've got the guys who think ah not great yeah guys who say ah I'm doing okay this is not too bad and you got guys who say sorry I couldn't hear you over all the sex but invariably we don't really measure much else all right not a single person here has told me any numbers any statistics any conversion rates in fact I would be I would fall over backwards if anyone this room could do that the most we got was I'm dating the number of women roughly that I'd like to be dating and so close as we got now I want to talk to you about the importance I want to play a little little mind game a little analogy here analogy is a fantastic for coaching they are not fantastic for explaining to your girlfriend why she's wrong I have made that mistake but since we're coaching I'm not telling my girlfriend she's wrong let's go on um imagine that you and a friend here you're in these little sailboats and you have a competition the first man to the Dominican Republic gets to spend a week pining it up with hot Caribbean women does everyone hear like the idea of hot Caribbean women two hands three hands wow you'll I'm going alone then um so they go down there this is the idea you got a race there the first one there but the problem is you don't know where you are you see you're somewhere inside of that red circle there so your friend does what 99% of guys do they go well I'll just kind of head off in a direction and the second I second I reach some sort of landmark I'll change directions when I need to that's what he does goes east because that's a safe direction it's going to be land somewhere east he ends up in Miami he's like what up Miami is like by the way do you know what Dominican Republic is like yeah yeah your man's down that way so he travels for two weeks to get to Miami another 10 days to get to Dominican Republic you on the other hand you're smarter you do what a less than one percent of men are going to do you sit there for a while and you think I have to work out where I am now so I know exactly how to get to where I'm going so while your friend rushes off you're sitting there but still laughing in the water and you seek to yourself I need to learn how to read stars I needed you learn how to use a goddamn sexton and for those of you don't know what a sexton is it is not a tool for getting sex although in this case it kind of is but no it's a tool for learning to read the stars you learn to like get your navigation going when you're on the water so you learn to do that you waste three days you're sitting in the water not going anywhere at all but then you work out exactly where you are and you make the 10-day journey to the Dominican Republic you get to party it up with hot Caribbean women your mate gets to watch and this is what happens over and over and over again we don't know where we are we don't know how we're going and when we make a change we rarely notice if it makes any difference and here's the thing when we go out when any of you go out and try to work on getting better results with women you are not capable of measuring just using your intuition a 20 improvement which doesn't happen let me give you a really good example we take two men Bob and Andrew they decide after doing a hundred approaches they decide that they're going to try a strategy of adding some teasing and humor into their interactions to try to improve the results that seems like a pretty good strategy as good as any other so uh Bob he goes out he approaches 100 girls he gets some phone numbers that's fine then Bob approaches 100 more and he adds the playful teasing in there he gets some phone numbers and he makes that with a girl Bob that's a big change right hey a really better result that happened to any one of you you're like yes I love teasing humor teasing humor is my new bible most people don't have the experience like Bob this is what happens to most people Andrew approaches 100 girls he gets some phone numbers then Bob should say Andrew then Andrew approaches 100 more girls and teases playfully he gets more or less the same number of phone numbers do you think Andrew has learned anything important here no he hasn't because nothing drastic changed but the thing is most of the positive improvements you'll make not just with dating relationships but in business in learning and art form is going to be small and incremental not massive and obvious you see the real picture if Andrew was measuring would look like this well Andrew approaches 100 girls he gets 10 phone numbers then Andrew adds in teasing and humor and he gets 13 phone numbers now why wouldn't you notice this well let's say Andrew approaches 10 girls a week for 10 weeks to one girl one phone number a week at one at 13 phone numbers that's 1.3 phone numbers a week it's barely more than one he's barely going to notice the variance we're not going to see that change in results but it's a 30 percent change we're just not wired that way we just don't notice the small incremental changes but they are up one thing by the way who here who here we had some show of hands before who here wants to be better with business yes and some of you if you don't know this you should learn this because this is how you make massive change because there's a compounding effect to small changes let's look at picking up women in a broader perspective and say you know some statistics let's say right now if you approach 100 girls you'll walk up and you talk to 100 girls and 20 percent of those approaches you get a phone number of those 40 percent of those turn into a date and of those 20 percent of those dates end in a make out if you knew that then you'd know your results would be 1.6 makeouts per 100 approaches it's not crazy great results it's a result most of you are capable of that if you actually did 100 approaches most of you are capable of that but here's the thing imagine if imagine if we just use the theme of adding teasing and humor into our all our interactions more effectively so what we did was we brought in teasing humor into the interaction when you first started talking to her that interaction was fun for her right you brought that in and let's say that only made a 30 percent difference well now you've got a 26 percent you're not even going to notice that are you and let's say that you are when you're texting the girl the first text you send us something playful and humorous so that there's there's incentive for her to want to see you again right i don't remember him that well but he's kind of fun in the text so i'll go out with him try going on date all right 30 percent increase takes you to 52 percent same thing with dates that are out to make out make the date fun be playful teas are a little bit on the date have fun with that that's a 20 that's a 30 percent increase again each of those not significant you barely get a notice but if you got your calculators and you do the mass that's a more than double your results because guys they add up every tiny little change adds up dramatically and if you ever want to run a business and you haven't seen this before you should be writing this down because this is how business works this is how massive businesses are grown by tiny little improvements piggybacking off the odds the statistic conversion rate of tiny little improvements and they make massive massive changes this is this is one of the big reasons why a lot of you have not witnessed a huge change because you're not seeing the little changes so you never hold on to the things that work and the things that don't let me ask you guys what are the results could you measure what are results i i talked about just previously i talked about the the percentage of of girls that you talk to you get a phone number yes sir end up back your health yes uh but i want to talk it's a good one but i want to talk just the context of dating what are the metrics in the context of dating might you want to measure hair flips per man yeah absolutely what else yes sir number of sex partners yeah absolutely if you are measuring your numbers of sex partners you're doing pretty well if you're starting to measure that big time think about think smaller guys think smaller yes sir at the back financial outlay yes the expense amount of money spent per date it's probably probably a metric you're all going to want to look at at some point yes the frequency with which they text back the duration of time they wait before they text back the number of girls who reject you on approach yeah you could think about um you could think about the number of phone numbers who reply to the first text number of girls who agree to a second date these are all numbers these are all statistics they're all measurements and if you were to just make a note at the end of every week it would take you five minutes and you'd instantly know how are you how am i doing with women the next thing you need to know the next thing you're gonna do is you're gonna test possible solutions you're gonna know you're gonna know what's happening what is working and what isn't who knows Brian Tracy number of people yes he said to achieve something that you've never achieved before you must do something you've never done before back in sydney many years ago i was a moderator on uh sydney's biggest dating forum and so we had a huge number of guys coming through going out regularly trying to get better with women and you know i've always loved statistics it's always been my thing i love numbers because numbers numbers tell you a story but i'll tell you some numbers that were really really scary a guy who wants to go out and get better with women if he goes out to a bar the average guy from that forum was 10% likely to try something new on a given day or night out that means if he goes out once a week for 10 weeks he's tried one new thing the average guy how quick do you think you're gonna learn at the rate of one new thing per 10 weeks yes not very not very um i imagine a few people in the room here may have heard of charles darwin yes what is he famous for someone shouted out yeah the theory of evolution that's what he's most famous for he's not quite as famous for um but still i find very interesting that he was a member of the gourmet club a group of people who travel the world finding exotic animals and then eating them and documenting how they tasted that you didn't know that he discovered animals you'd never seen before endangered rare species and eat them he stacked i think it was like a hundred giant turtles into the hms beagle on the way home so he'd have something good to eat but you didn't know that anyway i just like random facts yeah the theory of evolution is this idea just to repeat back to you so we're on the same page that in and across the species you have lots of different variations and some of those variations make make that member of a species more likely to survive and reproduce and other variations make them less likely and the ones that that are best equipped for success survive and the ones that aren't die out so the same thing needs to happen if you're going out and trying to get better with women if you go out and you test one thing every 10 weeks things aren't going to change you're going to evolve at a ridiculous slow rate if you think about cockroaches cockroaches used to be easy to kill we have to we have to keep releasing better and better toxins and better and better poisons to kill a cockroach because their reproduction cycle the cycle at which they evolve is so rapid is so tiny that they evolve way faster than humans humans we still die from everything that we used to die of 100 years ago in fact if our friend Andrew if he were to go out and he would go out twice a week and he would test three new strategies a week for one month he's learned more in a month than the average guy at 10% learns in a year you know what takes is a little thought is a little thinking what should i test what strategy today tomorrow sunday you're going to hear a lot of information about dating relationships you're going to hear a barrage of ideas of tips of strategies you can trial them and test them and see what works for you in fact you should because i guarantee you're going to hear some things that will conflict with each other and you've got to work out what's right for you now for this event here i want to do a little little experiment who's heard of tinder some many tinder's a dating app online and what you do with tender is you see pictures of women and if you like them you swipe right if you don't like them you swipe left and if they also see you and swipe right then you can talk to each other very very successful dating app now i uh until uh two weeks ago was not an expert on tinder i'm a dating coach online pickup coach but i thought to myself what could i do what could i show you guys as possible in a very tiny period of time if you just do some testing so i took my mobile phone and i created a profile not using myself using a guy who with a few female friends we agreed was roughly average and we created a profile on him and i did a whole bunch of tests one hour a day five days i'll tell you what i learned and i'll show you the power of testing with just five hours a little bit of work if you have five photos in your profile instead of one your odds of getting a swipe right improved by 11 percent by the way how did i do this i create a profile for a hundred times and then count how many how many matches i get that's how it was done 11 percent increase by having five photos instead of one wearing sunglasses in your profile picture this surprised me as uh was an interesting one a 16 percent increase in swipe right right i got a number of theories about it but i i won't share them because they're just that i haven't yet proven what that is but it was a very obvious one um next one a description in your profile longer than 15 words gave you an 18 percent increase of a swipe right rate don't know didn't test it for long enough i'm sure there is there must be right but i only spent five hours over five days on this so no unfortunately i can't i'm still not an expert having a high quality photo versus a low quality photo in your profile 26 percent saying something playful in the first message you send a woman on tinder 63 percent increase in the rate at which is going to reply back to you so i learned this five hours over five days and let me show you what this all adds up to a poor profile all right a poor profile i got 12 yeses per hundred swipes i got six girls replied to the first message hey how are you which is what i've learned pretty much every single guy does very interestingly i yes i've also set up female profiles to see what guys write pretty much everyone writes that um but the testing improved profile i got 29 yeses per hundred swipes and more importantly 20 girls replied to the first message out of 100 that was playful and teasing so what have i done i've tripled the number of girls you're talking to per hundred swipes per five hours of work but just like the two friends setting off on the journey for the hot Caribbean ladies almost every single guy alive does not do the testing what does he do he goes bam creates a profile yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes come on come on reply back that's what almost every guy does we don't think to test and strategize i invested a very small amount of time if i was single and tinder was my avenue i'd be kicking ass but i'd probably spend another five hours and get even better results again obviously yes there is an upper limit somewhere along the line don't know what it is haven't tested for it you can imagine what you could accomplish the power of testing and measuring if you ever want to run a business you'll never be successful if you don't do this if you want to be better with women exactly the same strategy here thirdly thirdly you've got to systemize what is a system a system is like a machine and what is a machine well a machine is something that leverages your work a machine is something where you put in a small amount of effort as possible and get as huge a result as possible so what are you doing when you're testing when you're systemizing well systemizing it's basically the opposite of testing and measuring because testing and measuring you're trying out new things you're strategizing you're hoping for the best you're putting in a lot of work but when you systemize you put all the things you found that work really well that you have proven statistically work well and you put them together you clump them together into a system and then you follow that system you make it as simple as possible but no simpler and you follow that system and without having to think you get a result you get a good result you get a result that's reliable that's consistent who would like consistent results girls instead of up and down random all over the shop frustrating as all heck isn't it yes so let me let me give you an example of some of the things that I've systemized in my own life my own world when it comes to dating relationships one is the first date my first date that I take girls on was the first thing they ever tried to systemize and use everything I'd learned from and my idea with this date I started off with this basic idea of a look I want to date with multiple locations and I want to date the kind of escalates you know it starts off somewhere public and friendly and escalates to somewhere more private more private more private you know and I'd like it to end with a make out so try to I created this date you know where we'd start off at a cafe and I would go from that cafe to a jazz bar and from the jazz bar would go for a walk along the beach right try to like we'd walk to like the quiet end of the beach where it's all you know in shadow and stuff and it's kind of romantic because it's good here the waves lapping and see the city lights and stuff and then I try to make out whether that was the game plan so in the beginning this date was a little lumpy and go on this date and I'd realize I got the timing all wrong was supposed to be a two hour date we met at 8 p.m. and on a school night I wasn't at school of course at this point in time but I call it a school night so we're out there and you know we're at dinner for one hour and 20 minutes and then the bar for an hour and then it's already 10 20 and we both have to go to work in the morning so no make out sessions for Damien you know lots of little bumpy clunky little bits like that so I refined it piece by piece and it ended up with a date they got really really good results became a system I can just repeat that system that same first date over and over and over so to give you an idea as I as I refine this date here with the statistics because I love my numbers after one of these dates and we'd end on a make out after this date 91% agree to dinner and move it my place for a second date yes read into that dinner and a movie at my place of those who would have them for a dinner and a movie at my place 89% of those dates would end in sex now I'll tell you something that date structure is not awesome I've by watching clients that I've worked with over the years evolve their own dating first dates wow there is so much more than you can do with a date than that kind of boring series of events but by systemized by creating a system that I could repeat I could get the results and I could get consistent results over and over and over again I didn't have to think anymore where am I going to go what am I going to do in the state what's going to happen crap enough to do that anymore you see who would be surprised if someone came up to me today imagine one of you came up to me you said Damien you know I didn't know you're about your business in Australia you know tell me about it how's it going and I said it's going good and you said to me cool how many how many how many clients you usually work with a month I'm not sure a couple a few you said awesome um you know how many you know how how how when you're on event how many guys generally come to an event of yours oh quite a few yeah how many I'm not sure on the exact numbers would you expect my business is going to go well in the future no of course not so obvious when it's business it's not so obvious when stating pick up we don't think how important that is but I do want to make a note not everything can be systemized I do want to make this clear if I'm out in this date I cannot have the same conversation with every single girl you can't systemize that because at the end of the day you still have to be able to be charming you cannot script that stuff you're not script how you're going to make a girl laugh you're not script how you're going to build rapport these are skill sets that you need to build but the overall process is something that you can systemize you can imagine if I sit down with a client with someone who's interested to sign up with me someone gives me a call and they say Damian I'd love to work with you cool let's have a chat let's have a have a coffee I sit down with them do you think that I sit down with these people these guys and just and just think to myself well I'll just kind of sit here and I'll be cool and answer any question it's got and hopefully I'll get a sale I think that's how it's done no because what I do is I understand I need to take that person through a journey if you have who who has bought a car before or a tv or something they're really excited about yes awesome when you went to buy that did you not want that salesperson to get you excited about that product yes you and you want to buy something that excites you yes you want it and also part of you is scared of spending the money you want that person to solve all of your apprehension and make you feel a hundred percent good about that purchase so when I meet with a client I have a system in my head I know when I sit down with a client well I need to the first thing I need to do is I need to make them I need to laugh with them I need a tea I need to be a bit playful and joke around with them why because that relaxes them laughing releases tension and they chill out and when they relax and they laugh with me they're more open to me so when I then go next to start asking about them and their lives and where they're struggling with they're more open to sharing with me and I have to I know as part of my system I have to be genuinely interested to learn about them because we'll only open up to people who are genuinely interested in us so as you can see I have to go on a journey from there what am I going to do I'm going to talk about well this is what I do and this is how this is exactly going to help the area we're struggling with most and so on and so forth there's a system that I follow okay who is in control of that interaction do you think at all times yeah in this case me someone comes to me they're interested about me and what I do in this case I'm the salesman yeah absolutely and the same should be the case for every interaction that you guys have with women you should be the one who's in control you should have in your minds a system that you follow let me give you an idea of a system a system could work like this you can approach a girl and the first thing you're going to do is teaser and then you're going to build rapport you know teaser again and then you're going to sexually escalate and you can ask for a number you can write this system down if you like it's it's a system I'm not saying this is the only way to attract women because that'd be crap but this is a system and it's probably 10 times better than anything you guys are doing right now because one thing I know is most guys have no strategy at all so a strategy is better than no strategy but a strategy that's yours that you've worked on that's the best strategy of all but imagine this is my perfect strategy for a second I can walk up to a girl I can be an interaction with her and the first thing I do is approach and then I know I know in my head ah this has to be fun that's all my focus is just be playful just have fun here make this enjoyable make this engaging and once she's laughed once this kind of chuckled the bit together right and that's a skill set I've worked on it's a skill set you all need to work on once I've done that I know in my head ah now I have to actually learn about her now I just want to actually have to try to build some rapport get who she is what she wants what makes her tick make her make her make her know that I get where she's coming from it's about building rapport and we do this and often a rapport based conversation is a bit heavy so once we've done that I'm going to make it lighthearted again I'm going to change teasing playfulness and teasing playfulness is very easy to then segue into being sexual sexual escalation now I'm not going into how this all happens because that's not the nature of this talk you can come and chat to me afterwards at any time about anything to do with dating and relationships but here's the thing knowing this knowing this means it doesn't matter what emotional state I'm in it doesn't matter how scared I am or intimidated I am because the reality is I've I've been I've been doing this pickup suffer a long long time and every now and again I'm still going to meet a girl who intimidates me and I know every man in this room has had the experience of walking up of seeing a girl they like and and and you're like oh my god she's hot and you walk over to her if you find the courage to you walk over to her and you're in front of her and your brain's like the hell with this I'm out of here man and then you're like we've all had this experience right the the higher the stakes the less your brain functions we know this this is this is a this is a biochemical thing that's going on cortisol a stress hormone and adrenaline they prevent your brain from from thinking cross laterally they prevent your brain from doing a lot of things especially related creative thinking which massively impedes our ability to plan and have forethought and do all these interesting things in interactions so yes it's very hard so the less thinking that your brain needs to do in an interaction or on a date or at any other time the better prepared you are for when you're intimidated for when you're tired when you've had a bad day because when you meet the woman that you want to be with not just the woman that you want to shag if you happen to cross paths with the woman who's absolutely right for you that you'd actually like to seriously date make a part of your life you don't want to be too tired to be able to think clearly you don't want to be too intimidated to do anything good with it and have a party by if you've got a system you've got something to lean on you're starting to rely on you've got something that you can trust we'll get the job done in summary guys there's three things that you absolutely have to do number one you've got to measure everything I kid you not okay if you run a business if you want to get better with women it is the same thing you must measure it sounds dumb just keep like a spreadsheet maybe six metrics that really matter to you seven metrics write it down and then and then every and then and what you do is you work out what you reckon you could easily make an improvement on you know if you think to yourself well look I approach every 10 girls I approach six girls reject me seven girls reject me that's ridiculous then focus all your energy what could I do that would change it what could I do that would improve the odds there and then focus that whole week just go out approach 10 20 girls changing that just that thing did it make it better did it make it worse if it makes an improvement you hold on to that bad boy you test something new the next week that's how it's done so you've got to test possible so there is absolutely no end of really good information I mean this weekend you are going to hear some really awesome stuff I've met some of the speakers and dating and and pick up that are going to be at this event I've heard all of them before there are some really awesome stuff you've got to test it out like socrates said already you've got action is where it's at if you don't take action and learn from that action nothing is ever ever going to change and once once you've worked out what works you systemize it you create a system out of it so that you don't have to reinvent the wheel over and over and over again which is what most of us do most of us jump into every interaction with a girl and we have to think about every part of that interaction over and over and over again and then we get lumpy results you get unpredictability we keep changing everything we don't know what works and we don't know what doesn't work so guys let me uh let me open up this stage to some questions we know that I've seen some guys writing some questions down I don't know if we want to ask the guys themselves I'll go off the pads of paper I'll leave that up to Steve all right we have a question here that says does it not get boring or less special when you systematize a first date yes it absolutely does uh well it doesn't get less special um here's the thing that happens every interaction that you have right every interaction you have if the girl herself is boring and plenty are you shouldn't be on a date with her the excitement of an interaction with a girl is not where you go or the journey you take her on it's the interaction you have with her it's how her humor is it's when you build rapport with her is there's something about her that is fascinating to you that's the stuff that's exciting one thing that I experienced with most guys is we never put enough weight on that stuff we think of it as she's hot okay i gotta try to make something happen as opposed to she's hot great that's the first step is she also a cool chick great now i'd like to go on a date with her so yes if you are with girls who you're just with because they're attractive that is going to get real boring real quickly but uh if it's if it's a girl who's genuinely fascinating to you it just takes a load off and allows you actually appreciate what's happening okay how long did it take you to develop your dating system yeah good question uh can i just ask a qualify there when you say dating system what do you mean exactly uh just kind of like what you just kind of walked us through like your personal one that you use on a daily basis yeah yeah yeah yeah sure so i put that together um i put that together you know i spent about two hours kind of just putting together what i thought would be a good date um after about five dates i would have said i was about 90 of the way there that gives you any any feedback it didn't take long so then what's the end goal is it to sleep with a lot of women or is it just to have the ability to sleep with a lot of women or is it to find someone that you really want or and do that quickly you're not making a mistake what's the end goal yeah actually that's a really good question um i'm actually really happy you asked that the end goal isn't supposed to be anything in particular the end goal could be sleeping with lots of women the end goal could be getting to date lots of women so that you learn about the type of woman you actually want in your life the end goal could be the quality of one because you actually want to find a woman who you would like to settle down with it doesn't actually matter what the end goal is because the metrics that you use are going to change they're going to be different depending on what you're after like i said you use the same system if you're trying to make a sale or if you're trying to build business or if you're trying to meet girls so no it doesn't actually matter what you're after but this is not designed just to get lays or just to get makeouts or just to get dates it's designed to get more of whatever it is that you actually want you just got to measure the things that matter for that outcome all right we have another question here is systematizing the greatest parallel between sales and dating it's an incredibly good question is it the biggest parallel you know that's a really hard question to answer because i've never i've never actually sat down and tried to list out what the biggest parallels are i think it's one of the biggest lessons that sales has to give us it's up there with the top five i can't tell you if it's the biggest or not but it's definitely it's been one of the most influential in my success my personal development and the development that i have with guys that i work with how is uh this process improved other areas of your life wow um yeah that's a really good question i um well obviously i use this exact process in actually you know this process i didn't learn this process from trying to get better with women i in fact i use it in a far more profound part of my life i started off in my early years after my first relationship with a serious anxiety disorder um that led to horrible crippling depression and i was trapped in my room for a number of months and i developed well developed i stole this basic way of thinking um to actually coach myself to get out of my room and start being a normal human being like this wasn't it never started about women or about girls or about business so it to that effect that was the first area that i started using it how did i do that i actually measured my emotional state six times a day i just made a note of it and what was happening and i try something new every week i try exercising or i try meditating and i try because we're awful judges of how we feel how we think about the last week is really just dictated by how we feel right now so i actually measured it six times a day just set an alarm and that was how i started testing and measuring consistently what worked and what didn't and i credit that massively with escaping out of my bedroom with my anxiety um so that's been a really really big one um outside of business as well yeah would work in a pushy sales job be a good way to work learn cold approach uh yes uh um yes it is i'm not a fan of the pushy salesman actually i don't think sales is supposed to be pushy at all so i'm not sure that i'm 100% eager on that term pushy salesman but any sales role where you have to do the approach where you have to approach someone yeah because it teaches you a couple of things it teaches you not only how to handle and deal with rejection which is which is rough every salesman has to go through it but it also teaches you how to see the bigger picture you know if you understand if you understand look i'm going to approach this girl and she may reject me she may not but i know that you know if i talk to 10 girls who i really like you know i know that seven of them are likely to want to talk to me or in sales you know if i if i approach 10 people to sell them something i know at least two of them are going to buy from me you start to realize air you get rejection but you get the good stuff and the rejection is just a step along that journey to getting what you like if that makes sense it's an important thing that you learn with sales you said that uh this was one of the top five so i'm curious to what the other four you have in mind oh with sales sales parallels sales yeah sales parallels well i mean i've kind of mentioned two of them here which was one was learning to deal with rejection and learning to see the big picture um boy now i'm on the spot and jet lagged i couldn't give you another two straight off my head my brain is just not functioning 100 but there are i mean there are a massive number of parallels between sales and dating relationships probably learning to be persistent is a really big one if you um for example you've got to learn to hear know a lot of times right with girls you're going to hear know a lot knowing a lot of different types of contexts and sales the same thing know in a lot of contexts and one of the things you're going to start to hear is the apprehensive knows like the no i don't know if i should you know like hey you know what you're really cute i'd love to grab your number like let's let's catch up sometime i don't know if i should yeah that kind of know the apprehensive know they're like oh i could totally be pushed over the line knowing how to turn that no into a yes knowing how to persist without being like because you're not going to go give me a number woman you could and it might work but but that's not always the best strategy right the best strategy is to be able to persist in a way that's that's playful amicable and non-offensive right and if you can do that if you can master that that's a really big skill set so that would be another one that that comes to mind just to give you one more so what would be one of the biggest differences between a top salesman and theoretically he's bad with women what would be how how would that be possible okay so it's it's it's been my experience that guys who are sales people and guys who've run their own companies have started their own companies again a lot of similar skill sets the easiest to coach so often what it comes down to is they're bad with women because they've never actually ever put any effort in but when i take these guys out and of course i get guys like this i do get awesome sales guys who are terrible with women's happens lots of times they do exist doesn't have to be that theoretical but they get the biggest results the quickest and the reason is because all they're doing is learning to apply the same skill sets in a different context so yeah it's totally possible and often it's just lack of experience it's like um it's like i don't know ice skating or rollerblading right you take someone who's used to ice skating and put them on a rollerblading on rollerblades it's going to be weird at first but they'll get good really quickly kind of a similar analogy if that makes sense good morning daemon yes how does uh systematizing uh improve things that seem like they're not quantifiable um i believe can you give me an example of what you call non quantifiable um um the quality of woman you date if you go on a first date you have a system you see her you build rapport you laugh things are good you get it you know you go out it's it's it's a good day yeah um but maybe she's not that interesting or uh you don't have that connection so if you're doing really well you go the first date things go really well on most of your first dates or most of your second dates but it doesn't seem like that's the type of person you want to date how can you use a system to improve um the type of women you date okay so i just want to rephrase the question just to make sure i've got it clear uh so really what you're asking is what how would you create metrics around the type of woman that you're meeting is that is that really that was my example um but your system i think what you're expressing here um about measuring things and by measuring they can be improved works really well in business um because you're ultimately after money which is quantifiable it's a number it's a commodity yeah um but with dating women if your end goal is phone numbers that's quantifiable if your end result or end desire is sex that's quantifiable because you have this goal but if what you're ultimately after is to be happier with the people that you're dating because of the chemistry or how you feel about them how can you implement systems to get better results so what i do when i work especially if i'm working with with ladies when i'm doing women's dating coaching i still do the same thing they still have to measure and of course they're not after generally they're not after just trying to shag as many men as possible so i use them as a great example but what i do do with them is they have to be very clear in a couple of things they're going to be clear on what are the six biggest things they've got to have in a partner that is most appealing to them and some of those things may actually be hard to quantify so it makes sense like a really great sense of humor is really tough to quantify but you you know you know winch has got it right so a lot of these things we know winch has got it we could take it off or cross it off on a list and then you got to know the five things you absolutely won't put up with someone and that's like that's always the basis starting point because most of the things like that you can qualify sorry if you can't count them if someone else can't count them usually you can so even if you even if you were so and it's not very scientific to have a spectrum of how much did i enjoy the date with this girl right in other words i'm looking for girls who i enjoy at least eight out of ten my first date does that make sense or who who i think about who i who i think about still for the next week or whatever that measurement might be i know it's not a scientific measurement but i use this measurement with women all the time because you've got to have something to go on you can have something to measure and you can measure emotions i mean if you for yourself as long as you're the one doing the measuring you can measure your emotions like i said with my anxiety panic attacks i just measure how i was feeling six times a day but you can still measure yourself how did i feel after that date no it's not scientific no it's not going to stand up in in a in a scientific experiment but but it's still going to be a very useful metric to be using so yes it's definitely not limited to things that are that are very superficial real quick follow-up here can you briefly discuss the things that you go over when you're coaching women haha there's just a question okay very quickly um so the thing is men struggle with women is this meeting women on the whole when meeting women is our biggest struggle most of all for guys for ladies meeting men is not quite the same problem you can so some side boob a bit of leg you're going to get guys interested the biggest problem for ladies is finding the right quality of man not a man at all that's quite problem number one problem number two for ladies is what they tend to do is date the same guy over and over again with a different name okay and the same guy has the common set of traits and oftentimes if they've come to me for help in fact almost every time if they've come to me for help those set of traits are actually detrimental to her well-being one way or another to her emotional well-being to her enjoyment of a relationship you know we've all kind of seen that where we have female friends who always seem to date complete douches we've seen that and yeah it's over and over and over so what happens for a woman is that most of the time I should never generalize but most of the time what happens is that if a number of triggers and they're different for every woman but once those triggers get get flipped it becomes an emotional connection and just as with men we've all done it a lot of the men in this room have dated the wrong person and we knew it kind of that the emotional triggers were switched well for a woman this is the problem once those triggers are switched it's really hard then to walk away it's really hard to step away because you've got a habit of connecting with the same type of guy over and over again so when I work with ladies what I have to do is have to teach them how to screen I mean you if you one of your female friend shows up with a guy you know straight away right if he's a douchebag or if he's a good guy you can feel it you know it and you could tell her but she can't so it's one of the things ladies have to learn is how to screen men for the right kind of guy another thing to have to do is learn to screen him to learn about him like what are the traits that I keep tripping up on does he have them yes cool it's nice to meet you got to go back to my girlfriends now that's that's a that's a sort of a very quick snappy rundown of a woman's difficulty in dating it's women suffer just as much if not more than men with dating relationships you guys may be surprised with that but wow the the the the pain that the women go through is no more or less than what I deal with with guys all the time what else we got guys one second not a question but just a comment perhaps in regards to now that you're coaching women for dating um yeah your mcdonald's example yeah mcdonald's sales were down 12 percent last quarter it was attributed to mill millennials because they want to eat healthier and they're going to mainly chipotle's instead yes yes um um um every big business is using this strategy i picked mcdonald's is the biggest and everyone knows it and had a funny image of mcdonald's but i'm not surprised they're going down i secretly hope they go down further um but thank you for the input it's good to see all right gents let's give a round of applause for this awesome guy awesome man pleasure seeing you always great you can find out more about man pleasure seeing you always great you can find out more about you at the school of attraction absolutely let's keep moving through the day cheers guys