 You know, it's so funny that a lot of people, I feel sorry for Dwight because there's so many people that's locked, that's locked inside of themselves and living for other people. Like I'm not with the fake shit. Me neither. You know what I mean? Like I've probably, you know, telling my truth and speaking how I speak. You know what I mean? Those times people said, oh man, we don't want to deal with you because you said this, all right, fuck you. Don't care. Like how you gonna be mad at me for talking about, you know, someone that owed me money or my situation, you're a grown man and you mad of another grown man being mad over his business. But have you always been like that? Have you always? That's what I was about to ask. Yeah, have you always been like that because? Was it vocal? Yeah, because, you know, because in the beginning. You might've been vocal, but they're like, okay, and I'm saying this, like Dwight Howell right now going through his situation. He ain't able to speak, he's all these innuendos. You ain't able to say it. But think about it, you would, when you first started coming. Well, when it came to my sexuality. You was. I mean, you know, I got baby mamas and kids. There you go, okay, okay. That's the only thing, like, as far as to be worried about what a nigga think. Yeah. I didn't never hold it because what a nigga think of? Because man, people are nasty. You think I'm worried about what somebody think about. You nasty ass nigga. But when I think about politics and you trying to, you know, escalate your career, a lot of people tend to hold their tongues because they don't want to get on nobody's mind. You know what I mean? So you've never been like that. No, no, like I've been in trouble since I was little. Like, now that I be looking at some of the things that like. That you did. Then I do now and now some of the interviews I've seen some interviews, I'll be like, man, shut up. Don't say that. Like I try to tell myself, but, you know, this was stuff that I remember the principal telling me. In the back kid, but you weren't just going to tell me some shit. And if it ain't real and ain't right, I'm not going to listen to that. Or if I believe something in my heart, even as a kid, I'm getting a whooping and I'm still saying, that's not right. I get it. With my ass on the crowd, it's still wrong. It's wrong. So when you talk about the sexuality and how you came out and everything like that, and it's so, everything is so bold now, especially with everybody, but then why are there still some people in the shoot? The white Howard. Not just, you can say him, you can say him, but not only him, but there's a lot of other people that are, people are guessing about and there's nothing. Well, you know, some people. Why people don't come out about it? You know, some people kind of take a stance. You know, I've heard people say, you know, they ain't your business. Which is cool. That's what he said. I'm thinking about what I heard. I didn't, I shared it. You know, out of, again, out of something that happened on social media, I was sneaking around with someone. He committed suicide. Oh, that's crazy, man. Sorry to hear that. At this time, thank you. I was working in a church. And the stuff that the church people said to me in my comments is what kind of made me come out. And I had to kind of like, you know, I came out on social media, like, but wait, this is, you know, because, you know, people were saying, oh, you know what they say about when you kill yourself, you go to hell. Wow. Let me go in and tell y'all what's happening so I can get your ass in. Then I got them in order. And then I was like, man, you just told them yourself. Wow. It's very uncomfortable in our community. You know what I mean? Especially for a man, you know, we're looked at as a less of a man. I guess everybody think you want them. You know what I mean? You become this monster. You know what I mean? Hadja kids, hadja, like, it's the weirdest shit, a woman. And excuse me, you know, a woman can say she's like another woman and it's okay. And it is okay, you know. We, our community is so judgmental. And, you know, it's so funny that a lot of people, I feel sorry for Dwight because there's so many people that's locked, that's locked inside of themselves and living for other people. That's what I was just about to ask. Did you see the sense of freedom? Yeah, oh my God, I got my skin changed, my tone of my skin. I felt like my life, I got a lighter. Like sneaking in hotels and like, okay, you meet me here and I'll meet you there and I'm running and I'm grown out of hard work money that I work for. I've never asked anybody to, can you help me get a room? Or can you help me go on a date with all of this shit I'm paying for, but I'm hiding. And in the midst of that, I've lost great people that wanted to be dated out loud, that wanted people to know that, you know, they was with this guy or awesome guy. I wanted them to know and I'm like, no, I can't do this. You know, who wants to live that kind of life? Did you lose friends or family who feel, who said that, well, I don't agree with? Oh yeah, a lot of people changed on me in a lot of those relationships, some of those relationships, you know, haven't been rekindled. And the ones is some of them been rekindled and it ain't the same. I used to be close to people in the family and now it's like I'm not, but it don't bother me. You know, I'm also grateful to one of my aunts that I always say, consider the resource. And I don't, man, you can't judge me because I will look at your ass and think about seven different things that you should have gone before you think about me. If your mom was here, what do you think she would have told you? My mama knew, I think. You think she knew? Absolutely. Yeah, my mama knew me. Because even though you had baby mama, girlfriends, all of that, you felt like she still knew. Your mama know you. Your mother know you. And quite frankly, I think my daddy knew. You know, he passed before I came. But my dad, my dad, I think he knew. He would always say every time he met a girl with me. Man, she pretty. Man, I thought this boy was gonna be gay. That's what he was saying. He telling me, take me and the, I used to take him in the stairs and get him a suit and the girl tried to put his suit on me, crying. Crying on the floor of my suit. Wow. That's crazy. He ain't gay. He telling the girl I'm gay. You can't tell me shit. My daddy was born December the 25th, 1926. So maybe you took married fast. That's what it was. You, it was you. It was me. I was a grown man in the snow. So he had a whole song. That book, your book, man, when you wrote it and decided on death row, you decided to open up about all of these things. When you decided to open up about that, you knew it was gonna cause some, it was gonna ruffle something. I mean, you know some people got mad, but I don't know, did it really ruffle things? Well, you told your truth. Yeah. That's all that matters. You know what I mean? People focused on my sexuality and then becoming gay became famous. Yeah. But fuck out of here. I did it too fast. Okay. But I wanna talk about it. Cause back then it wasn't. I came out, I had to fight for this. But do you think when you were early on, you was messing with Mary? Well, okay. How did you think about that? About that time I was. I mean, you kind of was, but it wasn't. That's what I'm saying. How did you think? What did you feel like? Okay. Yeah. I like Mary. Or you just was like, was she taking advantage of you? Cause you were young. No, I mean, you know, that was Mary. Cause she was young too. She was young too. And that was Mary J. Blodging. When I bought that story up because a lot of people thought that I was like trying to meet you. I mean, I wouldn't use her. Got somebody I could meet to if I wanted to. But it wouldn't be Mary. It wouldn't be Mary. You know, I said it in the conversation of, you know, somebody was just saying how Mary was somebody girl. And I was like, whoa, wait a minute. No, what? No, it was my girl. It was my girl, right? And I was kind of just talking too fast. And I didn't mean to say, I got fucking. You know, I didn't mean to say it like that, but I did. I mean, you know, nothing I said in my book, you know, I'm waiting for whatever I said in my book for the people that I said it about. I'm waiting for them to come back and be like, he's lying. No, you hadn't heard that, but did. Oh, you won't. Yeah, we on boss talk one on one. One on one. Yeah, we going to talk.