 So I still remember the first time that I went to the gym right I was 18 I was like 125 pounds soaking wet at over six feet tall and so I go down there I'm like I'm tired of being skinny I go to the weight room in the free weight section right and I go to do the bench press and I finish like four or five sets And then eventually I did my last set. It was like 95 pounds to 25 pound plates on either side and I'm pushing and I just fried I'm just completely toast this thing this 95 pound barbell I drop it on my chest and I literally am too weak to lift up this tiny barbell and this guy walks up to me He literally with two fingers at least in my memory He was just like yank and then lifted it off my chest And it's not surprising why after that time before that time really I hated going to the gym And it's something I hear from so many of you and so many of my own clients where they don't want to work out Because they don't want to be seen in public in their current state or in the way They currently are in the gym because of what they think people will perceive of them now in this video I want to share a little bit about why I used to hate the gym But also when you understand why you hate the gym and when you begin to look deeper There's a big lesson for growth here not only in your fitness and your physical body, but also in your life Hey guys, it's Alex Hein author of the book master of the day So when I Originally did not want to go to the gym It was because I had these beliefs about the gym just like anything in life, right? When you don't want to do something as a stronger version is usually something inner going on there now I told myself a few things I told myself for example number one was everyone is watching me Well being the skinniest dude that wants to get bigger is a lot like being the most overweight woman that wants to get Thinner you go in there and you assume everybody's watching every little thing if I am I lifting? The weights wrong like am I doing the wrong exercise? Am I injuring myself? Am I just looking stupid is the weight not heavy enough? I mean all these thoughts were going through my mind the whole point was that I thought other people actually cared and They were busy watching me being like oh this kid is so dumb or he's so scrawny like what the hell is he doing here? That was the belief I had in my head and I hear that from so many female clients too Where they're like you know what I don't want to go in there and have everyone staring at me I don't want to go in there and have like these baked starved sweet potato looking women looking at me being like What is this overweight girl doing here? And I I feel that a hundred percent the second belief I had was that all these dudes like the biggest ones Basically that I secretly respected and admired and wanted to be I told myself that they must be douchebags Or they must be just a bunch of meatheads, and you know, it's funny When I see them over there they're like training hard grunting making all this noise like flexing in the mirror I'm like these are like who are these guys are the is this real life like the people really do that When I saw guy take off his shirt and flex in the mirror in public I was like this dude has issues like this guy has some real psychological issues. Do normal people do this What is this ecosystem? I'm living in here And so I made this assumption that the bigger the fit guys basically in other words the guys I wanted to become also by consequence Were also these dumb jocks now It's funny though because that too was just a belief and years later You know, I would just go up to one of these guys just I was curious what they were actually like the guy that I thought was a good dumb jock the meathead blah blah blah blah who lives in the gym I went up to him one day and I was like hey, dude, you know, I could use your advice I'm trying to look like you so I basically started with flattery and I was like do you have any advice for what to do? I've got these digestive problems blah blah blah The guy was super nice. He was incredibly friendly really helpful and he gave me really good advice And you know since then since those years I've been in the gym for 12 years I found that most of the time nine out of ten times those guys or that girl you think is Whatever they're actually normal people surprise Normal friendly people that may just be how they look when they're lifting it may just be how they look They're normal friendly people and they're really happy to help especially if you say hey You're my aspirational goal. Can you help like who doesn't want to hear that right? And so what I realized that was the aha moment for me when I realized that this was just a story I told myself and I was imposing I was basically projecting and imposing these judgments on other people because I wasn't secure and I didn't want to feel judged and I didn't want to blah blah blah Right, it was all to do with me with the inner BS I had not dealt with and so when I think back years later It's so obvious that a lot of the time especially when we're critical There's self-worth or self-esteem issues going on, you know And when you realize that it's not a big deal being the skinniest person or the fattest person Nobody gives a crap like everybody's too busy worrying about their own problems or their own weight or their own goals to care What you think and it's like unless you're running around in a G string or a speedo or you're half Naked and you're trying to try too hard or you're doing something weird or unusual Nobody cares literally nobody's watching you. No one cares at all what you're doing They're all just normal people with normal jobs and normal lives who want to get fitter look better and feel A lot better. And so when you think of it like that, you realize that okay Maybe I'm not going in the gym because of I say this But often like I said in my experience what I realized was that the deeper reason for not going to the gym is self-esteem issues is Looking in the mirror and not being honest with ourselves about like hey The reason I don't want to go is because I'm afraid if people just looking at me like just this feeling of you know Like the a-list celebrity syndrome where you're just like everybody recognizes you So you're so paranoid all the time wondering when someone is gonna approach you and you just kind of like this like you know Just want to wear a hat and glasses and headphones just in your sensory deprivation bubble That's just made up. That's all inside of you is all inside of me And so I think if this is a narrative a story preventing you from going to the gym to get the results you want Very important to look in the mirror and realize is it doesn't really have to do with anything outside of me? The starved baked sweet potato girl this jacked meathead dude Does it have to do at all with them and you'll realize what I realized probably is that it doesn't at all? And it's all about you. It was all about me So I hope that helps it's kind of a little bit of a thinking point a little bit of the deeper reason on Why we don't go to the gym or honestly Why we don't go to events if we feel like we're the least successful person or why we don't go to speed dating if we feel Like we're not that quality. There's nothing Conversation worthy about me or something I can brag about it's always important I think to look in the mirror because at least for me that's been the solution to my problems and being honest about what needs to change and what needs to happen next to Be the kind of person that you admire and you respect so your tiny daily habit for today is Look at the narrative behind why you don't like to go to the gym, right? Or why you don't like working out the gym in particular though because there's a lot of social stuff that comes up And I want you to leave a comment there below and tell me what has been the major reason you don't go to the gym What's up guys? It's Alex. 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