 I am Sam Vatnin and I am the author of Malignance of Love, Narcissism Revisited. In the book describing the fabulous tales of Baron Wilhausen, there is a story about how the legendary nobleman succeeded to pull himself out of a quicksand marsh by his own hair. Well, such miracles are unlikely to recur. This cannot cure themselves any more than Baron Wilhausen pulled himself out of a swamp by his own hair. The logical narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, is not merely an aberrant thought process which can be controlled cognitively. It is an all-pervasive, emotional, cognitive, and behavioural impairment of the entire personality, every corner of it. Thus, gaining insight into the disorder is not the same as healing. It is not a question of determination or resilience, it is not a function of the time invested by the narcissist, the effort expended by him, the lengths to which he is willing to go, the depths of his commitment and his professional knowledge. All these are very important, precursors, and they are good predictors of the success of an eventual therapy. However, they are not substitute for one. The best, really the only way the narcissist can help himself to some extent, is by resulting to a mental health professional. Even then, sadly, the prognosis, the healing prospects are dim. It seems that only time can bring in a limited remission, or at times an aggravation of the condition. They can tackle the more pernicious aspects of this disorder. It can help the patient adapt to his condition, accept it, and learn to conduct a more functional and socially acceptable life. Learning to live with one's disorder is a great achievement, and the narcissist should be happy that even this modicum of success is, in principle, possible. But just to get the narcissist to see a therapist is very difficult. The therapeutic situation implies a superior-inferior relationship. The therapist is supposed to help the narcissist, and so to the narcissist, this means that he himself is not as omnipotent as he imagines himself to be. The therapist is supposed to know more in his field than the narcissist, and this presumption seems to undermine the second pillar of narcissism, omniscience, the belief that the narcissist knows all. Going to a therapy of whatever nature implies both imperfection, something is wrong, and a need. And narcissists' regard needs as weaknesses, signs of inferiority. The therapeutic setting where the client visits the therapist as to be punctual, as to pay for the service, implies subservience. The process itself is also threatening. It involves transformation, losing one's identity, in other words, one's uniqueness, one's long-cultivated defenses. The narcissist must shed his false self and face the world naked, defenseless, and to his mind pitiful. The narcissist is inadequately equipped to deal with his old births, traumas and unresolved conflicts. His true self is infantile, mentally immature, ossified, frozen, incapable of confronting the almighty superego, the narcissist's inner, chastising voices. The narcissist knows all this, and he recoils. Therapy demands of him to finally place full, unmitigated trust in another human being, he has never done since the last time he had been disappointed by his parents. Moreover, the transaction of therapy, the therapeutic alliance implicitly offered to the narcissist is the most unappealing imaginable. He is, the narcissist is to give up decades of emotional investment in an elaborate, adaptive, and mostly functioning mental hyperstructure, the false self. In return, the narcissist tends to become normal, and this is another matter to the narcissist. The narcissist does not want to be normal, or average, or pedestrian. He wants to be unique, special, outstanding. Being normal to the narcissist means being average, not unique, non-existent. Why should the narcissist commit himself to such a move when he doesn't even guarantee him happiness? But there is a lot the narcissist can do by himself until he reaches a final decision whether to attend therapy or not. About this in our next video. Be sure to watch it.