 I'm Rusty Kamori, and this is Beyond the Lines on Think Tech, Hawaii. I was the head coach of the Punahou School Boys Varsity Tennis Team for 22 years, and we were fortunate to win 22 consecutive state championships. This show is based on my books Beyond the Lines and Beyond the Game, and it's about inspiration, leadership, and building a superior culture of excellence. My special guest today is the author of Amazon's bestselling book, Get Up Girl. She is Sarah McFarland, and today we are going beyond empowering women. Hey, Sarah, welcome to Beyond the Lines. Coach Aloha, thank you so much for having me on board. I've been watching all of your episodes for several years, and I've been learning so much. I'm excited to be on here and be part of this incredible community of business leaders that you continue to champion. Sarah, you are an incredible person with an incredible family, but I'm friends with your husband, Patrick, and I heard that he went over to Maui to volunteer to help some of the Maui victims. He did. It's been such a harrowing tragedy, what's gone on in Lahaina, as well as Kula, and our hearts have just gone out with the Maui community, and my husband ended up going, he has such a big heart, and he ended up going out that weekend after the fires just to support and help with one of the local churches. He did what he could, and that was to just help with some of the supplies that came in to distribute them and help as a security guard at night so everybody could sleep peacefully, and that was definitely something devastating that we're all going through with Maui. Well, that's Patrick for sure. He's a man of great character, and Sarah, you have a beautiful family. Your kids, Regan, Victoria, so beautiful, and I want to know, Sarah, what's the biggest reason why you're a successful mom? Well, thank you for that, Coach. I think I'm always trying to strive to do better. I think we all are, so that means so much to me that outside looking and that you can give me some credit there, because I think as moms we're always feeling like we can do better, right? It really takes a village to raise a child. They say that, and it's true. I come from a blended family where we've got two moms and two dads, and we're all working really hard to raise our kids. And I think being on the same page coming from divorce has really helped to kind of set the tone for our family. And so I'm very blessed that I have an incredible other mom, and the kids also have Patrick as their dad and Corey. And so we're really blessed to make it work as a family. I think something that I've always taught the children is to think for yourself. I think that's the most important thing that we're all on board as parents to teach the kids to think for themselves, to think outside of the box, to be independent of thought, and to really make sure that we're instilling value to them as individuals so they can be courageous in this era and have the value that they need so that they can, like my book says, to roar loudly and find their inner voice. Well, Sarah, as you know, I teach tennis to your two kids, Regan and Victoria. And they are just absolutely wonderful kids. I mean, you're right. I mean, it's teamwork as a family to really raise kids. But I also train you in tennis. And what do you what do you feel what do you love about our tennis lessons the most? I think for me, I I think I just really love playing with you. And we've kind of revolved our lives around that. I think it's important to note that when you can play with the champion, play with the champion. And so we revolve our life around the opportunities that we have. And it didn't come in another sport. It came in tennis. And we have been very, very grateful to be able to do that as a family together. And, you know, Patrick can even get on the court. Sometimes the kids are there. We've made it a family sport. And so I enjoy everything that we're doing together from the team effort as a family that we are able to do with you. And that's on the court. That's off the court. I enjoy the coaching, but I also enjoy I call you my counselor, my coach, you know, my friend of, you know, over 15 years, I think we've been playing. So it's more than just the game. It's it's everything that's involved in it. So thank you. Well, yeah, Sarah, we know each other for many, many years now. And can you share with our viewers just about why you've had a successful background in business and what that background in business was? Yeah. Well, the background in business, I used to I used to work in politics from a young age. I did media relations, legislation, drafting bills and came from that and then went into being a chief of staff for one of the state local state representatives from there went back to school. Originally was at Shamanon University for my undergrad, then went back to school, had had kids in the process, had my masters. At Hawaii Pacific University for business and then started two companies back together back to back. One was called Landmark Logistics. Another was a distribution company that I did private label for private label brands for two of the largest grocery chains here in Honolulu and was mass distributed on all the outer islands. After that, I moved to Nebraska with my new husband, Patrick. And he has a his family has a large manufacturing company over there. And so I came to he came to support and spend time with his family and I picked up a development project ten acre parcel. I rezoned it, annexed it, did the entitlements, worked that project through and with the utilities, the grading, the sewer, the paving, all of that and sold it and somewhere in between I decided to write a book. And now I currently do consulting for M&A as well as succession planning. So, Sarah, I've I've seen you in action through many of those years and many of those businesses. I'm very impressed with you. Everything you do, you just make every every business better. I mean, that's that's your track record. And I want to know what what compelled you to write Get Up Girl? Um, Get Up Girl is is written. The inspiration behind it is to reach a demographic that for women and to offer within business to offer. Perhaps a different approach to some of the modern day feminism that is out there right now. It's a book that inspires the courage. It's a book that teaches how to get up, you know, it embraces healthy femininity without having to embrace the emasculation of our counterparts. You know, and I think women are looking for something to pivot that's healthy. You know, originally feminine, modern day feminism has has definitely changed and become a little bit more polarizing. But traditional feminism is really was a movement for equality for all. And that includes men as well. And I think we don't I don't think we have to have one to have the other. You know, I don't think that femininity and being a strong woman are antithetical qualities, I think. And I believe that you can have both. But I also think that it's important to raise up everybody around us. And that includes men. That includes other demographics and everybody around us. And I think that we can do that when when we come from a healthy place within feminism, you know, I don't embrace the victimhood mentalities that come with it in certain regards. I champion getting back up. You know, that's why this book is called Get Up Girl and and really being able to find your inner voice. And we do that through it's done through identity and purpose and balance and addressing boundaries and what those healthy boundaries look like and how to implement them and, you know, getting knocked down and having to come back up time and time again and what that looks like and not to take things too personal in business but to really just be able to champion your voice and finding yourself through the process and really allowing yourself to go through that process. And Sarah, what I love about your book, too, is it's great for men because men can have greater understanding about women. And Sarah, right now the the big popular movie is Barbie. Can you explain what the differences are in terms of the actual reality for women and feminism? Well, I did enjoy Barbie, you know, I liked some things at it and I and I maybe didn't some other things. But overall, you know, I loved to see the shift in femininity being embraced again. And I love that because I like I said, I don't think that angry feminism sells anymore. And I just don't think it's something that our younger generation is willing to embrace or to champion because it's angry and we're all looking to be inspired. We're all looking to be hope filled. We're all looking to go on a journey together and lift each other up in this moment in time. And we're looking for those healthy leaders. And so what I really I, you know, I take I take things out of it. I've written my book three years ago and rewrote a lot of it this year. But I do I do take some of the healthy things out. It kind of came out during the launch of my book. So I did include it just just so that I could be modern and relevant in the times right now. But there are some things and then there are some things that I think we can do better. And and it's always important for women to be able to evolve. And so my book is really a stance of evolving within that modern femininity. Well, Sarah, you are definitely a role model for women empowerment. And what do you what would you say are some keys for really finding your true identity? Identity is a lifelong journey, I think that we go on. I think there's never been a greater moment in time to know who you are. We have an identity crisis with our youth. We have an identity crisis that is very prevalent in society today. And that's why Instagram and social media and all of these outside marketing companies and platforms really are able to monetize on that. You know, identity is a monetizing tool out there. And if you don't know who you are, you will let the world to be able to tell you and label you on who you are. And then and you'll be categorized and you will be labeled. And I think it's it's important to know who you are, you know, why you take the way that you take. Why you think the way that you think what's your purpose, which is correlated to to identity, you know, I think people are looking for leaders in this moment in time. And we've got to be able to give them something that's healthy, you know, as we're continuing to grow up, as we're continuing to to get older. You know, there are others that are looking up at us and what do we want to reflect in society today? And how does that how does that look, you know, purpose and identity? They they go, they should go hand in hand. And for me, I think throughout the journey, I didn't really know who I was. I identified as a woman in business. I I'm Korean, you know, and my father's, you know, was in special forces. And so I was just raised a certain way, you know, I'm the daughter of a first generation American Korean woman. And so, you know, work harder and and, you know, you get a bee and it's it's it's it's an app, you know. So for me, there are good things that were taken from that as well. But I I think a lot of who I was was wrapped in what I could do and what I produced. And the amazing thing about COVID-19 was that it gave us a time to pause. And if you were running so fast like I was from one thing to the next, you had to be forced to just stop and and and go through the process. And and when there's not all that much around you, you know, you can't really hide behind things. You couldn't really hide behind things in COVID-19. You have to really embrace who you were. And so for me, that was extremely healing. And I I took advantage of it. I I I went and I was on the mainland at that time. And I I went from one one corner of the US to the next. And then back again, we did the whole van life thing to reverse the US. And this was at a very difficult time for our country where it was on the shootings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. And for me, that was a really harrowing moment. I like it in the Lahaina fires and the and the cool fires for me. Just such a difficult time, you know, you want to do more and you want to do what you can to help. And that was such a such a hard time for me in the same way. That time in our history was such a divisive moment was very difficult for me to overcome. And I really needed to understand it on the ground level and so I went on this journey and this trip and we went to those places. We went to St. Louis, we went to Louisville. You know, I I went to the Colorado Mining Towns and the little towns in Tennessee. And we went to LA, you know, we went everywhere just so I could gain a better understanding of the moment that I was living in. We slept where lions slept, you know, we swam with beavers and got got knocked on our camper van a couple of times by the police, you know, had to get dug out of this van. I mean, it was just such a remarkable moment in time. And and as free as I ever would be in that moment is kind of where I found a little bit of my identity, where I was just unhinged from the mechanisms of control that really had me, where I always had this this idea of what I was supposed to be. And it was kind of the first moment in my life where I was like, I I want to break free. It was my very big, big girl break free moment of work. And everything that I thought that I was supposed to be. And I found a greater purpose on that journey. And that was where I had birthed Let Love Be Greater, which is the 501C3 Foundation for me that helps to empower women through education. And it's, you know, along that along that path is where I found that. And sometimes we need the calm and we need just the stillness to be able to allow ourselves to go through that process. And that's what it did for me. Well, Sarah, you're obviously very adventurous and very cultured for sure. And Sarah, when you reflect back on your life so far, what's one or two big adversities that you dealt with that you overcame? I've faced a lot of adversities. I think as women, we all do as people, we all do as humans. We all do. And I've tried to buy companies. I've put eight months into things. Didn't work out, you know, only for the door to be slammed in my face. I've been sued. I've had to lawyer up at times. I've been backstabbed. I've been had distributions just stopped in one season of my life and had to sell a development during COVID. The list, you know, I could go on and on and on. But I think as women, we all have to go through those things, you know? And as business owners, we all have to go through those things. And to find ourselves pitting or to find ourselves backed up into a corner and, you know, not not being able to move and find ourselves in an inability to mobilize is not where you want to be. You know, adversities come and adversities go and they make you stronger. And it's an it's an important part of life. You know, so much of what your books have been written about, you know, you have to be able to to be that champion to get back up, to get back up time and time again, no matter what's happened to you. If you allow it, they will indubitably be your end story. But you can also use what's happened to you to be the beginning of your story. And I think adversities are great like that. I've been through some things, but they don't make me. They they have given me a voice to promulgate what I want to champion in this season. And I think that's what we, you know, we need to do if we're pioneering. And that's what it is to be a leader. You know, you're going to you're going to be able to pivot and to find these areas that you really want to champion. And it's it's going to be from coming through some gritty things. You know, we've gone through some stuff. Coach, you've gone through some things, you know, in order to get where you are, you've had to go through some things. And so the adversities are really I feel like it's just a platform to launch into, you know, all the things that you want to become. Sarah, I love hearing all your insights. And, Sarah, you have both of my books. And I love how you just mentioned about adversities and and, you know, obviously, you know, that I talk about welcoming adversities and looking forward to challenges, because when it happens and we deal with it, we become a stronger person for that experience. We become smarter. We become better. What are some things that stood out to you in the books? So much stood out in the books. I think I told you before, but I love I love book number two. You know, I love I just I felt like things just continued to get get better, you know, from beyond the lines, beyond the games. And I think one of the most impactful stories for me reading it, because, you know, I'm I'm basing my my book on getting up is when you were in your Missouri Championship game. And I think you had you had a rolled ankle. You had something that was going on with your ankle and you were winning up until that point. And then you started to lose because you were in a lot of pain. And the coach ended up coming out and saying, you know, don't look at the things that you don't have, you know, begin to see what you what you've got. And I thought that was so profound because so often we're looking at what we don't have, you know, versus what we do have. And so you began to pivot, you began to change up your game a little bit. You know, you began to shift the way you're hitting the ball and the way that you're holding the racket and you began to use what you still had to be able to produce momentum in the game. And you ended up winning that championship and you ended up having that goal become that reality. And I thought that was so powerful because you persevered through something that was seemingly impossible and extremely excruciating and difficult to do. And yet you didn't allow your circumstances to dictate how you were going to win. You chose you you you focused in on what you wanted to do. And that was the outcome. And I love that because so often we get down. So so often we've got issues and things that we can't do because we're looking at, well, I can't do this. I can't do that. I don't have this. I don't have that. You know, I don't have the proper funding. I can't get the bank loan. They're not going to do business with me. I'm not enough of what they're looking for. I don't have the talent. You know, we're always looking at what we don't have. But it's a great reminder to just focus on what you do have. You know, I am going to be this. I am going to fit the role. I can win the end game. And I think having that just that self-fulfilling prophecy ends up coming to pass. Well, Sarah, I love that you love that story about me playing against the University of Missouri. And yeah, that's what Coach Ed's advice to me was. He said, you know, instead of worrying about things that you can't do, focus on things that you still can do. And that was probably the biggest best advice I ever got. And I'm sharing that with so many of my teams that I was coaching. And, you know, I could have easily fell into the victim mindset. And you and I both talk about the differences between being a victim versus being a victor. Now, what are your thoughts about trading in victimhood and fear for a healthy mindset? I love the, I'll start with this because I really loved it. I loved the Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary in Netflix. And Arnold shares with you his past. He's like, I've been abused and I've been all these things. And he's like, boo-hoo, you know? And I was like, oh, my goodness. But he said, you know, he used what happened to him. He said, you have a choice. You can either use what's happened to you to break you or to make you. You have a choice. You have that choice. That's powerful because I don't think we realize how powerful we have our abilities are, you know, the power of our own choice, the power of the way that we look at each other and how we view our own selves. And he said, so I chose to take everything and use it as the fuel. And that's exactly what he did. He used everything that happened to him to be the fuel and the driving motivation for the success that he had achieved. And obviously he succeeded in everything that he did. And I feel like that's something that's very related to our life. You know, we can choose to have fear. We can choose to be the summation of the things that have occurred in our lives or we can choose to overcome them. We have that choice, you know? We can choose fear or we can choose to have courage. And if you choose courage, it's gonna, you're gonna have to overcome some things. And you're gonna have to be willing to face those fears and to overcome victimhood. Because victimhood is soul-crushing. There is no end game in victimhood, you know? It's, yes, you can embrace these ideas, but ultimately you're embracing losing, you know? And as you know, coach, everything about your books is about winning and being the champion. You know, it's not about being good. It's about being great. It's about being the best. And so victimhood is ultimately soul-crushing. It leads to nowhere. And we need to begin to champion winning. We need to begin to champion champions. We need to begin to champion something that will be able to lead this generation out of so much of that type of thinking and that fear. I totally agree with you, Sarah. And Sarah, what would your advice be to women or just people that are dealing with failure? You know, I wrote in my book, get up, get up girl. But get up, fight, get beat. Rise, repeat, fight, overcome, win. I think that we've got to get up and we've got to push through and we've got to be able to go forward and no matter how many doors shut in your face, because there will be doors that shut in your face and they're gonna slam and you're gonna have failures and you're gonna have these moments in time where you're gonna feel hopeless, but it's important to be able to persevere. It's important to choose to persevere. It's important to allow that momentum to go forward. And if there's a mountain in front of you, find a way to get through to the other side. Crawl, dig through it, go around it, climb up it, some at the top, but whatever you need to do, get over to the other side. Don't allow that mountain to be that big thing that stands in front of you and your success. Don't allow the closed doors to be the end game for you. Out of every hundred deals that you've got, you just need one. And that's statistically within PE, private equity, a lot of times you've got a hundred deals going through and just that one goes through that you need. And so even if you get the door slammed, somebody's gonna eventually say yes. It goes to the persistent victor. It goes to the one that has effort. Intellect means nothing without effort. I tell that to my son all the time. You know, he's a smart boy, he's a brilliant boy. But as we've seen at times, I tell him, it means nothing. It means nothing to have intellect if you can't persevere, if you can't get back up. And I think have that effort. I reward the effort, I don't reward his intellect. And I think that's important for our younger generation because a little bit of wind, a little bit of storms, just knock us off our feet, you know, a little bit of rejection. And we're not able to get up and go forward, but being able to push through those moments is so invaluable and so important. Now, Sarah, in terms of finding balance, I mean, being an entrepreneur and balancing family, personal life, what is your advice for people to find balance with their career and their family, personal life? Well, I think balance is like a seesaw. And, you know, nobody has fun when there's too much weight on one side. And so you just have to reshift. You have to refocus. You've got to reapportion those things. And I think it's important to know your boundaries. No one to say no, you know, saying yes to everything doesn't make people value you more. In fact, it's the opposite. If you say yes to everything, people end up taking you for granted, you know? So having healthy boundaries is extremely important. And when balancing, don't get your blueprint from social media because it's not true. It's a lie. You only see what they want you to see, you know? That mom that's baking those cookies, eating them and running her empire and raising those kids, she's probably got a team to run that empire. She's working out for five hours after she's baked those cookies and ate them, you know? And she's got a hired au pair. So, you know, don't compare yourself because comparison truly is the killer of dreams. Don't compare yourself to social media. Don't get your blueprint from it. Balance will not be found from it. And no one, when you need to rebalance, just shift some things. No one the season to build is. No one the season to focus on your family or your health, your spiritual, mental, physical. No one it is time to make that company again. And so knowing the seasons and understanding how to say no, I feel like is extremely important in balancing. Sarah, I gotta say you nailed it right there. I mean, you're so right about saying no. So many people wanna say yes and that just kind of wears on them. And I mean, I know that you and I both, whatever we do, we wanna do it to the best, the highest quality that we can. And Sarah, I wanna really thank you for taking time to be on the show today. I'm so proud about your book and I want everybody to go out there and get it. And just wanna thank you for taking time to be on the show today. Thank you coach. Well, I'm honored and I've gotten to learn so much from you. And like I said, you've been an incredible coach and counselor and friend. And so it's been invaluable. Thank you. Thanks Sarah. And thank you for watching Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. For more information, please visit rusticamory.com and our books are available on Amazon. I hope that Sarah and I will inspire you to create your own superior culture of excellence and to find your greatness and help others find theirs. Aloha.