 It has felt like the latest year that I have been coming in touch with a Shomonga's anger and every time I'm in contact with the light this anger comes up and When I want to walk I I suddenly start shouting really loud Yeah, you're just describing What we have to go through because it's like the the anger Has been so pushed away, you know, it's it's it's not Acceptable in society. It's not acceptable in family. It's not acceptable in relationships It's not acceptable Where we work It's it's just not acceptable and yet Jesus assures us that he says in the course Until you are willing To look upon the full Extent of your own self-hatred You will not be willing to let it go So that kind of fits with that line. I was just saying if the more you look at fear the less you see of it Until you're willing to look upon the full Extent of your own self-hatred you will not be willing to let it go It reminds me of those Obstacles to peace, you know when you get down To the fear of God or the fear of God's love It's it's so intense that the ego projects it on to persons Onto onto your body onto Other onto the world you just go for a walk and you start screaming at the trees and in the birds and everything Because it's almost like a volcano that is is gonna erupt And it's almost like no it has to go somewhere. It's just it's it's too intense now in one sense I Would say because you're aware of it, you know now there's a stronger Urgency to heal because Most of the seven billion People are walking around on a keg of dynamite But they've got that keg so wrapped up So bottled up They are not aware they may see pictures of Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden and Hitler and go villains and vicious ones who Tyrant who look over there tyrant and they Mold or multiple mass murders who well, it's easy for them to point the finger, but they're not aware That they're sitting on a keg of dynamite and they've done a lot of work to suppress that dynamite There are others who are on the spiritual journey who Who say I've been told I'm sitting on a keg of dynamite, but I'm not experiencing that So they do rebirthing and they do circular breathing. They do ayahuasca They they do psychedelics. They do hallucinogenic drugs I'm going to find you anger and you're going to have to show your face Because I am not going to hold on to you because I want to go to the light. Well The thing about it is in one sense. I know it's painful, but you're in touch with it You're it's not that far from the surface you're closer To the to the ultimate healing because you're in touch with it It's hard to handle, but you're but you also have a very strong Urgency now with it because the volcano the lava has come Much more to the surface. It's not buried way down Under miles under it's actually it's kind of getting close to the to the top of the volcano And sometimes some of it spews out there when you're on a walk when you allow it You let some of those things shoot out of there and throw a few rocks and some lava out there So in one sense Still it comes back to the daily practice like like for me I knew that I may have certain things that helped trigger the unconscious and And those are very helpful. They all have their own usefulness But in the end I'm just gonna have to go for the slow and steady practice You know, it's like the old story of the tortoise and the hare the rabbit may Go racing on in high speeds, but sometimes you go with such high speeds that the rabbit has to just finally Rest not the turtle Think of yourself. I'm gonna be a turtle Turtle for Jesus and it just Yes Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus and then you look and you look about everybody else in room They're all like on the autobahn zoom zoom You know, oh, they're on the fast track to enlightenment. Okay. I'm gonna be a turtle, but I'm gonna be a turtle for Jesus I'm gonna practice this and take this stride by stride step by step and I'm gonna let It come up because I know it has to like I did with my tears Like I and I did know that when I was crying and when I got to be so sad I I did say I think there's some anger Underneath this sadness And then eventually when I started to really get in touch with the anger I was really like a turtle with Jesus. I'm like, okay, Jesus. We got some major anger coming up here now This is feels dysfunctional. I Can't be around my parents when I'm raging. I can't be around my friends when I'm raging in fact It's not really good to be around society when you're raging and Jesus is like, yeah, just turtle right over to this hermitage that I have for you Out in the woods and you can take some nice walks and scream and there's some I got some nice rocks for you to Scream at and you know and the rocks were fine. They were like Rocks were like we're so glad to be a part of your healing process You give it to us scream at us as loud as you want. Yeah, we love you, you know So it still comes back to that guidance even when it's intense rage Whatever it's still Jesus is still there for us and still Will give us things like hermitages or he just said yeah, you're right. You're it's best not to be around people During this phase. So here come here. I'll take you out out where you can let it up without any worries or concerns for You know repercussions From that. So that's how much we're loved and I just would assure you that That you're you're just exactly where You are on your journey and it's perfect nothing's going wrong and That there will be this guidance that will allow for you to to let it move through Really, almost like if we had a kidney stone, you know, what do you do with the kidney stone? You you eventually have to let it pass Yeah, and I'm actually very grateful that it is coming up because I can feel how it has been making me sick and tired for years and It has been my biggest desire to let everything come up so Yeah, thank you Thank you Yeah, we're honored honored that you can do that for everybody Thank you