 If you watch my last live stream, I shared something very vulnerable and what that, and what vulnerability is to, is when you put yourself out there to quite frankly be judged by another person or by many people. And I put out there the confession that I have wasted women's time in the dating realm. I'll just be candid with you and not just one or two, but many from a variety of different places I wasted time, whether it was engaging in online connections through dating apps that really weren't gonna go anywhere because I was bored or lonely during COVID. To those moments where I thought I was ready for a relationship and espoused how already I was for a relationship only to find to hit the edge or the wall the minute I realized I wasn't capable of going much deeper. And I would end short-lived relationships only to do it over and over and over again. I've said ridiculous things like telling women they look super hot on a first conversation. I've done stupid things like that. I've never sent a dick pic, so I've got that at least in my quiver. I haven't at least done that, which I know many of you have experienced a variety of different men, no different than myself. Why am I sharing this with you? Because the reality is as I'm a human being, I am flawed, like most everybody on this planet, we are flawed and we oftentimes operate from a mask of as Chris Rock said, being the ambassador of our best selves. And for many people, they don't look inward to see how they might be operating in the dating, mating and relating realm. And this is one of the reasons why the dating process today is such a train wreck. And sadly, there are many human beings, men and women alike, who are in it because they operate from a place of not genuinely loving themselves, not genuinely loving themselves. In fact, here in the United States, we are victims of, for many people, are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. And until an individual actually can reach a place of genuinely, genuinely operating from a place of self love. And many of you know, I wrote a book about it called What the Heck Is Self Love? Anyway, A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Health and Spiritual Work. By the way, there's a link to get my book below. Why I'm sharing this with you is, a man or woman cannot deeply love until they're operating from at least a love cup that's being filled with their own love if we operate from a place of dependency energy. And sadly, many women and men operate from a dependency perspective of needing someone else to fill their love cup instead of filling up their love cup on their own. This is why I'm such a big proponent if you follow my channel, is to do the inner work to heal the childhood wounds and traumas as well as the adult traumas that causes to choose people that are incapable of deeper love. And if you hold tight with me for a few seconds, I'm gonna get to those five things a man does or ways to build deep love with a man. So just hang tight with me for a second because I'm here to say, if you want that in your life, then it has to start within yourself. And when I said healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas, I'm recommending this book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process, which is a deep dive, a deep dive. The questionnaire in this takes hours just to complete. And yet the reward and benefit for each and every one of you is a sense of inner peace. The reason why I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? It's like a vaccination to emotional chaos. That's what individual love can do for each one of you is when you operate from that empowered place of genuinely loving on yourself. And this is why I'm such an advocate for women in particular, because you have a propensity to give your power away to men because you've been indoctrinated in the literally since caveman days of coming at it from a place of dependency. This is why we literally still live in a society where it's a one up, one down, the men are the leaders of the relationship. And I'm telling you, you're giving the job to the wrong person because you want to be in charge of your relationship destiny. If you're a woman, this is why lately I've been advocating all of you to read the book Why Men Love Bitches. By the way, the link below to get this book as well. Why Men Love Bitches? Because bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. Okay. And this is a book of empowerment. So you don't have to rely on a man for your happiness because when you come at it from a cup, a love cup filled within yourself, you can actually then begin to explore deeper love with a man. Now here's the sad part we're dealing with. It's a rather dysfunctional dating realm out there. It just is. In fact, the reality is is most humans have terrible relationship skills. If you're not familiar with my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, this is not a fact, it's opinion. Roughly 20% of the human pop, or at least here in the United States have clinical issues. Have you been watching the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trials? Talk about clinical issues between the two of them. And while I state here that roughly 20% of the population is healthy, I'm being generous here, there. Most everyone is dysfunctional in their relationship skills. And again, watch the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial. Because here's what ladies and gentlemen, we are faced here today, is that there's basically, I say there's three types of men you're dating out there, but these are women as well. And again, this is not a fact, it's an opinion. Roughly 20% of people are gonna be users. They're gonna be users. And while I say 20% are growers and builders, most everybody is a spender, meaning they want companionship, they want connection, they want sex, but they don't have any clear direction. And if you want to be with someone to grow deeper love with, then you have to choose a grower. Now I know many of you are saying, Jonathan, how do I choose a man who wants to grow into relationship and build a relationship? Well, that's my area of expertise. There's a link below to check out a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Because my coaching is all about how to vet for emotional maturity and what questions you should be asking a man based on your personality to actually know if this person you're with is really capable of deeper intimacy. So let's just propose for a moment. You've met a really great guy online. You've been dating for a few months. Things are going well. You see him a couple of times a week. He's attentive, he's attuned to you. You've even had a little friction and you were able to overcome it. Things are progressing quite nicely. And now you ask yourself, you want to go to deeper love with this person. You want to go to something a little bit greater than the surface. And today I'm going to share with you some simple tips for you to develop deeper love with a man. And I'm going to recommend a book also that you need to purchase if you want to be with a man to make love all the time. And I don't mean in the bedroom. I mean outside of the bedroom. So I'm going to put on my trusty glasses. Here's my notes. Bum, bum, bum. So number one is to learn each other's love language. To learn each other's love language. If you're not familiar with the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend checking out the book, again the link below. The five love languages are words of affirmation or if you're a Leo like me, it's words of adoration. We, Leos love to be adored. Okay, number two, quality time. Number three, physical touch. Number four, access service. And number five gifts, five love languages. When you actually, by the way, ladies, I recommend before the penis ever goes inside the vagina besides purchasing the book Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman and reading it together so you can determine if you're really compatible with one another. Before the penis goes inside the vagina, you should be reading the book Five Love Languages or at least go online, type in five love languages and take the test online to see which love language you each have. By the way, this is simple. And I'm gonna share something in a moment that's so critically important before you have sex with a man as you're in the process of dating to do things differently. I'm here to encourage a different way to date, mate, and relate, and not based on the egoic way of dating, mating, and relating. The egoic way is basically emphasizes chemistry, romance, and expectation, chemistry. But you're total strangers with one another to expect romance with a total stranger before there's a true friendship to develop. You're setting yourself up for disaster most of the time. And yes, the clock, the blurokin' clock is right twice a day, okay? But most of the time, it's not if you're not on the same page. So again, take the love language test would be number one. Number two is let your little kid come out and play, laughter and play are critical components to build deeper love with the person. I gotta tell you, I work with women every day in my coaching practice and the one thing missing in almost every one of these relationships is a genuine sense of laughter playing their little kid together. I gotta tell you, sense of humor or laughter is a critical component to building deeper intimacy, deeper love with a person. Play, doing playful things, social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, finding ways to laugh and play together builds deeper intimacy because let me tell you something. A man wants to commit to a woman he feels good being with and nobody feels good. Let me, okay, let me rewind that. The best relationships are the ones where you're genuine friends with each other. Think of your relationships with your friends. Think of the times you go out. You remember all the good times because there's laughter and play oftentimes as well as support, love, compassion, caring and empathy. I'm not discounting any of those. But I'm here to say, if you wanna go deeper in love with a person, laughter and play has to be on the top of the list. Number three, I want you to begin something called the love letter process, the love letter process. And this is a process where you actually write love letters to each other and you share it in a surprising way. Sometimes it could be in their coat pocket. Sometimes it could be left in their purse. Do write a short, simple one or two paragraph love letter for your partner expressing how much you care for each other and invite your partner to do it with you. Folks, I know you love the idea of many of the leaders of relationship and all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy and let them claim you. Listen, sitting back in your feminine doesn't do shit. I'm gonna invite you to lean into your empowered energy, your sovereign energy and begin directing this relationship not based on the man's terms, based on your terms. Now, I'm not suggesting coming out controlling. I'm not suggesting coming out needy. I'm merely suggesting telling the man the things you'd like to do. By the way, if he wants your vagina, he will most likely do it. This is why we gotta wait a little bit longer to have sex than the normal three date rule that's happening these days. And we're gonna talk about that in a second. Number four, plan a night out in a hotel. By the way, in your own town so you can have wild sex together. I was just speaking to a friend of mine who's been married or he's in a relationship for nine years and he was telling me just the other day how they went to a hotel room, literally around the corner where they live, just so they can have to do something different. Mixing it up. Now, I know a lot of you were saying, but Jonathan, I'm in a long distance relationship. Folks, long distance relationship, if you don't have a real game plan on how to build deeper intimacy in the relationship, you're fucked. You are fucked. And just remember, these days when you're doing long distance, you're meeting total strangers. And if you don't know how to vet for a total stranger, you are setting yourself up disaster. Because if you really wanna go to a deeper level of intimacy, and I highly recommend checking out the book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters, if you're not ready to go that deeper level of intimacy with a long distance, you are guaranteed literally setting yourself up for heartache later on down the road if there isn't a real game plan to build this relationship together. And I can tell you, most men, they're more focused on getting in your pants than they are trying to figure out how to make it work. In fact, I have a dear friend of mine. She literally connected with a long distance relationship. And on the first date, she asked him, how would you think this is going to work out? And he goes, that's a really good question. He didn't really think it through. And then the next day he was lobbying for her to show up at his hotel, which he refused. And then he promised to go hiking the next day and he bailed. And then later he said how that question caused him to rethink his dating patterns. But I can guarantee you this guy is still online dating doing long distance, thinking this is an easy way to get laid. And let me tell you something, long distance dating is the new form of hookup because it gives you an easy exit strategy, okay? But coming back to the ideal building deeper love, go out to a hotel room and fuck your brains out. And number five, to build deeper love with your partner. And there's hundreds of ways of doing this. In fact, if you're not familiar with the book by Barbara DeAngeles, How to Make Love All the Time, Make Love Last, I highly recommend checking out this book, highly recommend checking out this book because this will give you a game plan of how to build deeper love with each other right from the very first date. And my fifth suggestion is what I call the weekly and or monthly check-ins, the weekly and or monthly check-ins. Now, you don't have to do this. Weekly, it depends on how often you see each other, but the idea is to check in with each other and do a temperature gauge of how the relationship is going. It's a mutual agreement. And it's, by the way, I've known men, I have men who have suggested this. So this isn't singular. You don't always have to do all the work. There are a lot of men that want to grow in relationship. Now, when I say a lot, it's roughly about 20%. And you have those spenders I shared before that are leaning towards the 20%. Some of those fringe spender types, spenders are people that are just going to want to spend time with you and not grow with you. Those men are, some of them are absolutely capable of leaning into the check-in. And the check-in is a way to build deeper intimacy with each other little by little. You're like roots growing in the earth that build deeper love when you check in with each other from the heart and express how is this relationship going for you? Now, I know many of you have terrible communication skills. This is why I highly recommend reading the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Ladies, I know you think you're great communicators and just because you have a propensity to vomit your feelings with your girlfriends, which means vent and complain, doesn't necessarily mean you're good at communicating with men. I can tell you the majority of women I speak to in my coaching practice, as well as my own dating experiences, most women are terrible communicators of their feelings. This is why I highly recommend these two other books out. Well, I highly recommend reading this book. I hear you, the surprising simple skills behind extraordinary relationships. This is like a roadmap to teaching you how to communicate better. And I know you ladies all think you're good communicators, but you're not. And if you really wanna go into deeper intimacy with your man, you're gonna have to learn better communication skills. This is your only chance. So I've directed you to a lot of places. I have recommended a lot of books. I've also said to you that I can help you in ways that you probably have never been taught before. The one compliment I get from client after client after client is Jonathan. You made me think, Jonathan, I didn't realize I didn't know this, Jonathan, why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this? If you genuinely wanna change your life and you need some help and support, again, check out the link below, the schedule discovery call with me. Now, before I move on to the Q and A portion, I shared something in my last livestream that is hugely important that I think we need to address regularly for a period of time. And that is the dysfunctional dating realm we're in today, particularly in the area of sex and commitment. And the reality is, is it wasn't up until about 50 years ago, if a man wanted to get laid, he had to make the ultimate commitment. He had to marry you. There was a significant commitment made before there was actually sex. So these days, by the way, since birth control, that changed everything. Now, casual sex is the norm. Casual sex is the norm. And the problem with casual sex is that once two people have sex, there's no agreement to monogamy. There's no agreement to exclusivity these days. And it sets one up for failure because here's the problem, ladies, in particular. It's easy to get bond to another person once you've had sex and without some level of commitment, it could cause irrevocable emotional damage if you've had one relationship after another, after another, after another. So I'm going to invite you all to do something that I call the dating vow, the dating vow. And here is the vow right here. And it says, if you wanna get him to commit before having sex or sleeping together, start with the vow. And I've said, have you heard the term women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment? And these days a man can get the milk for free without ever even, he doesn't even have to lease the cow. He doesn't have to buy the cow. He doesn't even have to visit. He doesn't have to spend anything but get the milk for free. And if you wanna change that, then I invite you to say the new, what I'm proposing, and I want you to share this with your friends, is the dating vow. And that is, before sex, you say to each other the following. I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next three to six months. You say it to each other. Number two, I agree to be monogamous sexually while we are having regular sex together. Number three, I agree not to actively seek to meet or date others while we're on this dating process, which includes taking my profile down. Number four, I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling away, pulling back, ghosting or disappearing. And number five, I agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you, which looks something like this. We're gonna spend, I'd like to spend two to three days a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal and professional life, physical as well as emotional intimacy with each other. And again, with the agreement that this is something serious within the next three to six months. Are you with me? This is the vow you make to each other. You look in each other's eyes and you say it. And ladies, if every woman right now began doing the dating vow, you would eliminate 95% of the users and the spenders because they will bolt. And again, remember that three types of men actively dating the users, the spenders. That's 80% of the men. You're gonna get rid of 90% of that 80% just like that. Put your chastity belt on and stand up in your empowerment and take time to genuinely get to know each other. I've said this before, I said again, takes about a hundred hours of face to face time just to get to the first layer of trust, just to get to the first layer of trust in relationship. And relationship is like a hundred step ladder of trust. Trust is built little by little by little and you need a hundred hours of face time just to even genuinely care enough about a person, truly care about a person because ultimately what is trust and safety? Because this is all, sex should be about trust and safety. And what is trust? Trust is, can I count on this person to care about my feelings as much as that person cares about their own feelings until you actually feel a level of trust. And I'm not talking about the bullshit love bombing rhetoric that the Tinder swindler and many catfishers out there do. I'm talking about they actually show up with their actions matching their words. They show up being attuned to your emotions. They actually can resolve conflicts with you with ease. They're truthful, they're integrity and they're consistent and reliable. Their actions match their words. Ladies, are you willing to do the vow going forward? The vow, are you willing to do it? If you say, yes, Jonathan, I would like to do the dating vow going forward. All right, I think that covers the five ways to build deep love with a man. Now it's time for the Q and A portion of our live stream. For those who are watching live right now, there's a chat box there. In the chat box, you can write the words question and then post the question there after or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. All the funds from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley, that's him there, that's him there. That's us at Benihana's. Used to go there almost once a week. He's my son who passed away a few years ago. His birthday's coming up soon. He would have been 23 this year. God, I can't believe it. Anyway, in his honor, I've started a scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development for those seeking help as well as donating to charities like the Hoffman Process and Insight seminars just to name a few. So again, purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat with the dollar sign. Or if you're watching the replay, you can hit the super thanks button on the right above the description of that to support the fund as well. I'd be really honored. And again, write the word question, then post the question there after. All right, we're gonna take questions now. I'm dying to see what we have here. Really quickly, just a reminder. Sometimes you forget you're awesome. So this is your reminder. That's my coffee mug today. Let's see what we have in the chat box. And Marie says, yes, absolutely. The dating vow, the users will run straight away if you run through those vows. By the way, the growers and the builders will stick it out. Renee says, I love the dating vows. It's pretty close to what I cover when entering into the dating relationship. There you go. Lisa Hutchinson says, I love the vows. Jennifer says, I love the hotel idea and the love letter one too. Holly J says, amen. Thank you so much. So who has a question for me? Post the word question and then write the word question and post the question there after again or you purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. And I wanna thank Holly for the $5 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. All right, looks like we have a bashful group. Oh, by the way, really quickly, when I said that Leo's like words of adoration, that means we do like to be adored. But again, I'm talking about, but the actual love language book talks affirmation, basically affirming the relationship. All right. Oh, looks like Jodi P just purchased a Super Sticker for $5. Thank you so much. All right, we have some questions coming in. Ruth just, oops, hold on. How do you, how do the dating vows work in an existing relationship? That's a great question. You know, in an existing relationship, basically you have to decide if you wanna progress the relationship forward. So I'd rather you purchase the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman and have the conversations listed in this book, have the conversations listed in this book to determine if you're right fit and take the vagina out of the, right now, ladies, you gotta take the sex out of the equation if you want to build deeper intimacy with a guy. I know that goes against all of my contemporaries basically all the men will tell you, male coaches will never tell you to do this, but let me tell you something. If he wants your time, energy and experience, then he's gonna have to invest in this. And if he has an issue with it, let me just tell you something. Any man that has an issue with wanting to build something with you is not your guy. He's not your guy. Men who are spenders and users do not want to do the work. Remember I talked about the users and the spenders? Those men don't want to do any work. They just want the milk for the least amount of effort. So either you'd make them jump through fucking hoops or you move on. Now, here's the challenge. You might not be a good candidate to be in relationship. Maybe the relationship you have is the best you're gonna get. I'm sorry, I'm gonna be blunt. Sometimes that's the case. So you have to decide what's really important to you. What do you really want? Do you want something? If your relationship is mediocre, then dump that relationship. If it actually has some legs, then have good solid communication with one another. Because here's the thing, you're not getting any younger. Like the line in the movie Shawshank Redemption, get busy living or get busy dying. But sometimes we do have to adjust because maybe the relationship we have is good and our expectations are too grand. A lot of you ladies do that as well. So you have to assess, is this relationship, is it good? Let me ask you something. The most important question you have to ask, do you trust this person? Do you feel like he trusts you? And can you laugh together? Do you laugh together? Because if you're laughing together and you trust each other, you've got a pretty good solid relationship. You don't necessarily have to fuck it up by over. Listen, the way I'm saying my rhetoric, it's just because I see women get used over and over and over again. Not used, that's not fair because that's victim consciousness. I watch women abandon their boundaries over and over and over again. Oftentimes blaming the man. So I'm just here for you to stand up for yourself like a true bitch would. Like a true bitch would. I want you to stand up for yourself. All right, thanks so much for that question. I really appreciate it. I want to thank Elizabeth for the $2 super sticker. Thank you so much. Roseanne Connor's birthday is gonna be a month from a couple of days ago, so thank you. My sweetheart Heather says, "'Growing up, I did not want to have sex until marriage. I ended up being the oldest virgin among my friend. I felt extremely confident and powerful, though I did like to get back and I did at and I'd like to get back to that mindset." Amen. All right, let's see what we have here for questions. Amy says, question. Other than online dating, how do you meet someone as a busy professional other than networking groups? Online dating has ruined post-divorce individuals in my humble opinion. I agree. So instead of where am I gonna meet them, I want to invite you all. This is something I do in my private coaching. I want you to all to, instead of thinking about it needle in a haystack, we actually learn how to become the pin cushion. How do we do that? We declare in a love mantra, dear God, universe spirit. I invite you to introduce me to my great match, my Mr. Right, that relationship where we have great chemistry together and we feel a sense of connection with one another and we have amazing communication with one another and the banter can go on for hours and hours at a time. We have the capacity to resolve conflicts and differences with ease. We're also compatible with each other because we can blend lives together because our lives are aligned together in a way that can actually blend together and our mutual character in our values are aligned with one another. And lastly, we are committed to establishing the deep roots of trust that can actually sustain a healthy, happy relationship. Ladies, the love mantra I teach in my private coaching goes much deeper than that. It's actually an amplification to the universe to actually make that man find you. So you don't actually have to do much other than trust that the universe, when you're in a state of true alignment to who you are and what you want, again, that's what I teach in my private coaching. When you're in true alignment to who you are and what you want, you actually become a magnetic attractor for what you want. So I recommend check out the link below, schedule a call with me, Amy. All right, hope that helps. Thank you so much. All right, Becca writes, question, if you wanna get remarried but you're the one, wait. If you want to get remarried, but the one you've been in relationship with does not, should you stay or find someone that does wanna get remarried? Well, it depends on your relationship. I mean, you guys, you throw these questions at me. Listen, first off, ask yourself, why do you wanna get remarried? Find out why he doesn't wanna get remarried and have a conversation about that. If the two of you are in two different places then you may wanna consider moving on. That's certainly a possibility. Or you can find your common ground together because maybe through communication you can find out where you actually stand from a heart-centered place instead of guessing. Ladies, chapter one in my book, speak your truth, do it with kindness. Chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. Ladies, I witness you over and over and over again, afraid to speak up to men because you're afraid they're gonna break up with you. You know, it's interesting. I shared this in a previous livestream. I've recently met a woman who's a friend of mine now. We talk regularly. I mean, we talk habitually with one another two, three times a day. We're like boyfriend and girlfriend, but we're not. She lives in another state. But the other day she had friction with me. And it was, I said something that was a little bit dickish, little bit. I mean, not much, but just a tiny bit dickish. And she immediately called me out on it in the second. And she did it and she said, Jonathan, I just felt really uncomfortable with what you shared. And I just want you to know that I didn't appreciate it. And I got defensive because I was just joking with her. And I sat with it for a few minutes and we ended the phone call. And then five minutes later, I reached out saying, you're absolutely right. I was being a dick in that moment. And it was just because my joke was trumping her joke and we just got mixed up in it. What I appreciate most is she spoke her truth in a kind, loving way. Ladies, begin to become empowered in your loving, kind way. Because ultimately, if you want to build deeper roots of intimacy, it's going to require speaking up. Many of you operate, hold on a second. We're going to do it again. Many of you operate like this. I'm sorry. Oh, this is going to be hard for me to do today. But you operate with duct tape around your mouth. I guess it's, oh wait, hold on. Let's see if I can get this going. You operate like this with duct tape around your mouth. And this is the way you communicate. You're not communicating. You're holding back and you're for fear that he's going to leave you. Folks, only the wrong person will leave you if you're speaking sincere and from the heart. Take off the duct tape and start deep. You all say you want communication. You all say communication is the key in relationship. And yet you don't communicate with men. You hold back. Part of the reason why you don't communicate is because you're going to vomit and fuck up the relationship because you don't know how to communicate in a healthy, happy way. This is why I recommend these books over and over and over again in every video. And by the way, men are not picnics here either. I sometimes say you're not the picnics. Men are jackasses and idiots in communication, but men tend to communicate from a logical perspective. So if you start operating by speaking up in a more concise way, you'll actually build deeper intimacy with each other. And I only yell because I'm like, feel like I'm speaking to children. It's like you're about to touch fire and I'm telling you to stop, stop wasting your time, dicking around, expecting men to be perfect. We are not. As I shared in the beginning of this broadcast, I can be a jackass and many of you revere me as being someone overly special. I'm not. I'm just a guy that studies this shit. I happen to be a junkie for love at the same time. Sorry, I just went down a rabbit hole in my head thinking about Connor. I think part of what opened my heart up was when you lose a child, you lose such a part of yourself, that part of you that is supposed to be their protector, that part of you that wants to watch them grow up and make something special of themselves to get married and have children together, children, excuse me. And so when I lost Connor, I lost a piece of myself and it was in the writing of the book because I know he would not want me to suffer one day. I know he would not want me to suffer one day whatsoever. I know he wants me to thrive. And so in many ways, when I speak to you and when I'm yelling in my Sam Kinnison voice, by the way, if you don't know the comedian, Sam Kinnison, check him out, Big Time Yeller. I do it because I have his strength and his power inside of me because he's now speaking to me with the voice of saying, you have a more important message to get out there, Dad, and I want you to scream at the top of the lung so everybody can hear you. Stand on your mountain so everybody can hear you from Los Angeles all the way to New York. And that message is simple. True love, unconditional love, starts with loving oneself first, just like when we put the oxygen mask first on an airplane. It's not about giving our love away to anyone else, it's about reflecting it back on ourselves when we're hurting. And so I made a choice. I could grieve with suffering or I could grieve with love. And my invitation to myself was to grieve through love, starting with loving on myself and then projecting that love out as much as I can to everyone else. And believe me, I fail hundreds of times a day, judgment, resentment, guilt and shame, surface all the time in my life. And at the same time, I choose to forgive myself because forgiveness is simply meaning forgiving love, forgiving oneself love, like giving yourself an injection of love, that's what forgiveness is. In fact, I continually recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. And if you don't know it, it's simple. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. Like giving myself a shot of B12 or L12, that's what the forgiveness prayer does. It's just giving myself love and I invite you all to step into loving yourself. I don't know how I got into that tangent. Thank you, Connor. Thank you for being a light in my life. I miss you so much. Hey, I wanna thank Alexandra for the $10 Super Sticker, I really appreciate it. V. Palmer, thank you for the $1.99, I really appreciate that. Forgiving love, wait a minute, go, exactly. Erica says sending positive vibes. Marianne says, our long distance relationship really impossible to navigate. They're not impossible, just highly unlikely. They're not impossible, highly unlikely. Regina says, sorry again for the loss of Connor, thank you so much. Lots of amens, thank you, I appreciate that. Michelle writes, not sure how to communicate with him after he's told me he's afraid of commitment and he's pulled away. I don't know how to engage his heart again. What question to ask him? What question do you ask yourself? Why do you want a man who cannot commit? Why do you want a man who pulls away? What about this relationship dynamic that excites you and makes you want to stay in? Those are the questions I would ask yourself. Ladies, when I say you women give your power away to men, it's because it's all about what the man is not doing instead of looking in the mirror and saying, why am I choosing this experience? I suspect that the relationship didn't build deep love for one another. You're in a spender relationship of connection, companionship and coupling. And if you want something deeper, then it's gonna require that from the very get-go. So what question do you ask him? Simple, text message or call him, say, do you wanna be in a relationship with me or not? Yes or no? If the answer is no, the next four words out of your mouth, the four letter word is next, N, E, X, T, exclamation points. Get busy living or get busy dying. Don't be with someone who doesn't wanna be with you. Start choosing better. This is why I started my coaching practice, is because you ladies make terrible choices and then you're trying to fix a broken, like a money pit, you're doubling down. Start choosing better from the very, very beginning. This is why I have a successful practice, by the way. I've been getting called, last week I got a call from two clients telling me how they're in great relationships right now. Change your love life by making different choices in your life instead of trying to fix the broken ones. Although some of you, maybe that's the best all you can do. Hey, I'm just calling it the way I see it. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just calling it the way I see it. Michelle, sending you a big, gigantic Jonathan Barahog of love. Amy says we all carry luggage, exactly. All right, let's see what we got. Oh, let's go swimming. Holly says I love the magnetic attractor, exactly. All right, Alexandra, question. I think midlife love mastery as discovering the past to loving myself, not finding a man and mate. Was this intentional or am I reading too deeply? Folks, actually tonight I'm doing a call to my group in midlife love mastery. By the way, there's a link below to join my VIP group. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis and based on the questions you ask in the group, I shoot personalized videos just for you. The group is an empowerment group on loving oneself, not finding a man or mate. Was this intentional? So if you operate, where's my notes? First off, I have to find something. Bip, bop, bop, bop, bop. So most humans operate from a dependency-based way of relationship, needing I need you to love me to feel good about myself. So midlife love mastery was designed to help you determine how you genuinely learn how to love yourself and then become that magnetic attractor for attracting. Was it intentional? Yes, because it's not about finding the man, it's about finding the love within yourself and then the man will find you. He's gonna be going, where's Alexandra? Where is Alexandra? I wanna find Alexandra. Where is she? I can feel her energy. I've gotta find Alexandra. Yes, it was intentional. Thanks for asking. Ismase, it's me says Jonathan, I'm sorry about your son and thanks for what you do and how long you do and how long do you need to know the person for dating vows online or real life? Hey, it's real simple. Before the penis goes inside the vagina, you do it beforehand. I don't care if you've been dating for six years or dating for one week. It's before the penis gets to go inside the vagina. Leah says, men seem lazy on these dating profiles, seem like if they don't live around the block they don't wanna meet. What's that about? I'm fucking lazy. Listen, who wants to schlep to be in a relationship? That is no fucking fun, okay? Can we just be real and say it's not fun schlepping? Listen, I live in Los Angeles. We have something called the 405 freeway. It's not fun spending an hour and a half to go see your girlfriend during the week after you wanna get your gym time in. You wanna get your time with your friends and everything. If someone lives around the corner, it's much easier. By the way, folks, up until a couple years ago, dating apps didn't exist. And before that, there was no online dating you only for fucking for 200,000 fucking years. We've only made it in our proximity. It's only because of these devices. And then we believe and only because so few people are actually on the devices that we were operating from a place of scarcity and fear. I live in a condo complex that has 600 units. The love of my life could be right there, right there. And I don't know it. So go out in your community and start meeting people because the online, listen, online dating is like clusterfuck. I no doubt about it. So stop, I've turned off my notifications. I'm barely on the dating apps. I still have them because I believe in sending out a magnetic energy force. Oh, and I just got a new picture that I'm posting on my, hold on a second. Here's my new picture. I was at an event, I was at a matchmaking event and that's my new picture. What do you guys think? Is this a good one? But I don't need to post it on my dating app because I believe my soulmate, my true love is going to feel my energy. And we will find a way to connect with each other. But then again, I'm kind of a romantic that way. And at the same time, I'm so fucking fed up with the dating apps. And the only reason why I'd ever consider a distance relationship is if we actually had intentionality right from the very beginning, we go, how are we gonna make this work? That's how I'll approach one of those. That's my two cents and I'm sticking to it. DJ says, or DJ J says, great pic. Regina says, great pic. Thank you so much. Thank you Renee, I appreciate it. You know, folks, I've got to get prepared for my monthly call to my group called Midlife Love Mastery. There's a link below to if you want to join the group. This is a group like I said, where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. And again, we have a Facebook group and a monthly call where you can join in. Listen, folks, I wanna thank you so much for allowing me to spout and to rant and to share about my son. I really appreciate it. Thank you for all the love and support. I cannot do this without you. There's a super thanks button right now on my channel. So, or you can purchase super sticker super chat when you're on the live stream. And certainly I would recommend checking out a discovery call with me. All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up this broadcast today. First off, I'm gonna give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrett of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna say thanks to Holly. Yes, join the group Renee, Ruth, Trudy, DJ, Renee, Erica, Regina Day, old dirty Dasher, Allison, everyone that joined in tonight, Trudy, Kathleen, I have Sherry, Amy, thank you all so much for being on. I wanna wish you a super duper, wonderful, fantastic evening. Take care everyone, bye now. Bye.