 Guys you're very welcome, David here again and we're talking in this video about something I'm referring to as ego algorithms. So this is going to show steps that predictably come about when we are carrying old trauma. The ego is effectively just a mindset we occupy as a result of having gone through trauma at some point in the past and the thing is once we're in that ego of mind the ego is it's a device it's lifeless it's like a computer program and it has quite predictable patterns that it follows and this is really useful because we can actually look at any situation drama problem that we're involved with in life and if we know what that algorithm is we can find out what point am I at in this how how enmeshed in this am I right now and what is my way out of this it's almost like we can reverse our way out of that mindset back into the place where healing actually takes place. So what I'm going to do here is I'm going to show you examples of this and how it operates and the first thing I'm going to show you right now is this this is the sort of you could call it five levels upon which or in which trauma manifests itself. Now what we experience in daily life with our problems and our dramas and our you know our issues and all these things problems with people conflict that's in the perceptual level and it's the outermost level this is where the trauma manifests itself in relationships and things of that sort and we can often find ourselves kind of stuck in that place and then you know you can see there that the the emotional level is a little bit deeper it goes underneath that which is why we're always looking for the emotions underneath the the dramas or the stories that we're looking at so that's a little bit deeper but you know people will often say things like just feel your feelings and that's true kind of but it's not really as simple as that because the truth is that underneath the level of emotion there are the thoughts we're experiencing and those thoughts are the thing that will influence the emotions and therefore our perceptions so I don't know if you knew that but the the level of thought is actually more causal than emotions emotions are a symptom of the the thoughts we're holding so that's a deeper level still and what is it that determines the thoughts that we're having on a day-to-day basis well that's the mindset that we're in and as a result the trauma we will find ourselves in this this computer-like lifeless program called the ego which really seems to give us options but it's a mindset we want to get out of and we want to find an alternative mindset to that and at the deepest level there is the goal now when we experience trauma the goal becomes I have to get rid of the self that has been rejected and I have to create something else that's going to be more appropriate or more acceptable to other people or the tribe we could say and ultimately when we're healing from this we have to come to terms with the fact that that doesn't work and it's all going to be about accepting the personality that I was born with and some people have a problem here in that drink and oh really my personality has to be accepted my problematic broken not good enough personality that is the trauma speaking so what you'll ultimately find at the end of this at the deepest level when you can get down to that goal or what is you want I want to heal I want to integrate I want to I want to start embodying the personality I came here with I don't want to live out of a false personality or a false self any longer okay so we have our goal primarily that will determine the mindset we find ourselves in do I want to self-acceptance and self-expression or do I want to hide away this stuff that I feel about myself and construct a false self that will be acceptable that will lead to the thoughts we're going to experience the emotions and then the perceptions so these are the levels okay so that's kind of the theory behind this it's useful to know that but now we're going to look at what does this look like on a practical level in the level of perception okay in our day-to-day life how can we start to apply this and they're actually because we can know what the sequence is of the trauma it's almost like an algorithm we can start to identify what is the path back to healing how do I get out of the dramas and the stories and back to what's actually going to make a difference so what I'm going to show you here is this is the algorithm this is the ego algorithm this is the the algorithm that comes from being in a mind feeling that it's separate and not good enough so this is what it looked well first of all the story this is what the story is before I show you the algorithm so this is an example of one of the the stories that a person might be caught up in right so this story says all I've ever wanted in life was to be loved and I've had so many disappointments in my life and failed relationships I don't know why it's been so hard for me people seem to use my good nature against me and take advantage a year ago I met a woman and things were going great however recently she has started to become more distant she doesn't communicate openly about what she wants and when I bring it up she gets vague why I can't meet someone who'll be honest and upfront makes me so frustrated so what we're going to look at now is the that this is the story that this person is caught up in and you can see that there's a lot of emotions around that understandably so but what does the algorithm look like this is what the algorithm looks like it's always the same we can see there in the the bottom left that that is a mind that is carrying some kind of unhealed trauma okay now we're talking about relationships here first of all before I go any further I'm not one of these therapists that says you have to heal all your trauma before you should be in a relationship I think that that's that's a little bit simplistic and another thing is there can be a lot of value from being in a relationship there's no such thing as a wasted relationship if you can learn from it so in the bottom corner we have the mind that is holding on to trauma and the first thing we'll notice is that there are four sort of predictable steps that will come about as a result of being and maintaining and keeping that mind place that that trauma in place without resolving it okay so the first one is we have concepts then we have strategies we have outcomes and the fourth one there is we will find ourselves in some kind of a story like the one we just described okay so the most important thing to realize here is when we're discussing this this is all with the assumption that the person has been carrying trauma and is in a mindset to deal with the trauma not to heal the trauma to live with and manage somehow but while carrying the trauma so with that being said the first thing you will notice there is with the trauma the person picks up and step one they pick up some kind of a concept and it could be a concept like love now we're told to go that love is this great thing everybody's doing it everybody's singing about it all the movies are about it so it must be this great thing so the idea is well love okay that's something that i'm going to hold as important now we come up with some kind of a strategy around that and typically what the strategy will be there step two is that well i'm going to go and seek to find love now next we're going to have some kind of an outcome that will come from the strategy and the outcome here's the thing with the outcome the outcome will always be always that you will fail to find we will fail to find the love that we're seeking in some form there'll be some snag there'll be some problem with it eventually right and that is not by just being unlucky or just happened to be that way this is the algorithm this is the way it's set up it's supposed to happen like this believe it or not right that's what we need to realize so the outcome will always be some kind of a i'm seeking to find something or to get something or to improve something but it doesn't work okay and as we'll see soon there's a reason why it doesn't work okay so there will be some kind of an outcome from this seeking and finally we'll find ourselves in some kind of a story about this this outcome and the story is effectively the thoughts that we're having about the outcome so we just looked at the story there and this story could be well he she needs to change or is heartless or is at fault and we'll notice first of all what we have from this story is we have now somebody in the story is going to be a victimizer somebody's going to be the bad guy now in this story it was the other person but it can often be yourself ourselves in this doesn't really matter but somebody has to be the bad guy it can be guilt about somebody else or somebody it can be your own guilt but we'll always have that in the story in the conflict or a drama of some kind so we have a victimizer if we have a victimizer or a bad guy we need a victim and we need a good guy so this could be in the outcome because of this if we look at number three there in this this outcome the failure to find the log will make us feel victimized victimized by the world victimized by our circumstances we'll feel an awful lot of lack in that and again now we have the victim to our victimizer there will always be one or the other sorry it'll always be both you can be you can be both at times but quite often in relationships someone's going to be the good guy someone's going to be the bad guy this is how it's going to play out remember this is all coming from a traumatized mind a split mind that sees everything in terms of not appropriate that's appropriate that's good that's bad that's right wrong etc etc the split the trauma causes a split in the psyche that everything is is categorized in these terms so if there's a victim there has to be a victimizer if there's a good guy there has to be a bad guy so if we look down now this is where it gets really interesting the first two steps in this algorithm are super important we saw there in strategy in our strategy that well our primary strategy here was to seek and find love but the thing is remember the split mind comes in two counterparts the two opposites if we're seeking for it consciously unconsciously what we're actually trying to do is get rid of something so can you can you guess what we're trying to get rid of every time we hold we with with trauma we're holding a concept like love what are we actually trying to get rid of with that the answer to this is that with a concept like love conventional love we're trying to get rid of guilt this is guilt another term for that that I often use is the defective story I'm carrying about myself there's something wrong with me so this is the secret strategy with love convention love assuming that we're traumatized or we're carrying some kind of trauma from the past something unhealed from the past so it's important that we realize oh yeah love sounds great conceptually but actually if I look at the flip side of that concept there's going to be a lot of hidden guilt that I'm going to be motivated to get rid of because I'm carrying it about myself there's an unworthiness there's there's shame and guilt so the strategy becomes secretly I'm going to try and get rid of that now I'm going to go out and look for it I won't find it and someone's going to be made to be the good guy or the bad guy in the situation but the guilt will be gone rid of it's projected away from the the self so what do we do with this right these this is this is how the algorithm works you could put any nice sounding concept there at step one into that mind and this algorithm will play out assuming it's the traumatized ego mind that we're in the mindset so what do we do well we go back to our sort of our theory here and if we're looking at number four there the story we find ourselves in the drama we find ourselves in is our perception so we're going to work back down from our perception right back down to the goal here now these are the steps that we take when we're trying to heal trauma so first of all what are we going to notice consciously where are we well we're in the story so the first thing we need to do is to get out of the story as quickly as possible and that means somebody here is the victimizer someone is the bad guy and what we have to do is realize that the the problem we're feeling we're going to feel a lot of anger in that we're going to start to realize that the other person the bad guy in this scenario is not the cause of the anger that I'm feeling this is called responsibility now quite often you'll be the bad guy in the story okay so in that case it will be I am not the reason for the anger I'm feeling or another way to put it will be that person's behavior or my behavior is not the problem really this is all remember fundamentally a problem in the mind so it's not a behavioral problem it's not about different individuals in the story to take responsibility means it's not this that's causing it so we're actually reversing our projections we're taking our focus off the the other person or the or yourself even in this in our in the story that's step one so we're just reversing projections the next thing that we will do and this is now when we're talking about the outcome and we're feeling like the the victim of the scenario maybe now we're working on our emotions where we're going to find in when we're feeling like we're a victim in a store in an outcome is that we feel an awful lot of emptiness and lack okay so we may feel fear sometimes in that as well but the idea is that we're going to start doing body work now if we're here we're realizing okay we've reversed the projections are just feeling an emptiness I feel victimized by the scenario and really what we're going to start to do is feel a lot more into the emotions that I'm feeling because underneath those emotions there are actually a whole bunch of other emotions and if we can feel into the emotions and doing some body work and start to identify where the pain is in my body for instance that's going to start to bring us down into the next level below that which are the level of thoughts so from body work we start to be able to say well what are what are the thoughts that are leading to these emotions and now we can start to look at inquiry if we can hear what these thoughts are they're they're they're kind of in the body you could say these thoughts we can start to do some inquiry or discernment it's called which is kind of questioning some of these thoughts that are leading to these emotions that I have started to listen to in the body work and in inquiry we start to ask questions well the strategy is I need to go out there and find love well we start to question is that true we start to ask questions like is it possible to find love out there is it true that I have to get rid of or a relationship will make me feel better will it make me get rid of these these feelings that I've been carrying inside of me for so long this is the step of inquiry and we start to question some of the strategies that we come that have been in place leading to these difficult emotions so if we start to do that then we're really getting somewhere and now we're moving down we're dealing with some of these thoughts and now we're going to start to deal with the the mindset question and the mindset question is I start to look at these concepts that I've been holding that has led to this story of conflict I start to question the entire concept of love or conventional love now we're not getting rid of it it's not true to say that you're going to live your whole life without carrying an idea of love or wanting or finding or having experiencing love it's more of a reinterpretation see the concept of love we've been holding in this scenario has got two sides to it it's love but guilt someone's going to be guilty and someone's going to be loving and we start to look and question this entire way of conceptualizing what love is love has no sacrifice love has no guilt love is unconditional love involves acceptance of another person the way they are and acceptance of ourselves also so we can start to do that and now that's really what we're doing with that is we're realizing I don't like the concept of love that I've been holding I want to reject that concept and I'm going to find an alternative a reinterpretation and that's the mindset that I'm going to choose it's much more liberating mindset and a liberating concept of love to hold love is not something that can be found outside ourselves effectively is what we we know but once we realize that love tends to show up externally as a result of that but the last step here is we'll notice okay for really questioning deeply this whole concept of love that I've been carrying we come back into the goal the goal initially I had in this relationship may have been to get through life while carrying trauma and maybe the relationship will help me with the trauma effectively what we're going to do now is realize every relationship maybe I won't get into a relationship at all I'm going to focus on healing that's all I want all I want is to connect with myself again and live authentically and express myself from my authentic personality or if I am in a relationship I'm going to use the relationship for the purposes of healing myself I'm maybe healing the other person too but primarily ourselves it becomes the the primary the relationships can be a fantastic way to kind of speed up our healing process in certain situations because there's nothing like a relationship that's going to bring up those emotions right and we will we will look at them if that's what our goal is so we're really back down to what do I want do I want to continue to live with this trauma and have a play out in different stories and dramas or do I want to use it for healing myself so guys it's always the same I'm just going to recap what we've covered here we start off with trauma and then the algorithm is going to be a well I'll pick up concepts strategies I'll experience outcomes and I'll have a story and that's all so that we can have some kind of a victim victimizer good bad right wrong dynamic going on externally all is a way to kind of not deal with the underlying trauma so if we really want to get to terms and get to grips with this is we follow these steps back we start working on reversing projections developing more emotional awareness to embody work start to inquire into some of the thoughts that we're having that are feeding into those negative emotions start to really question deeply but well what mindset am I in here what are these concepts like and how have they been serving me and have they not been serving me and is there an alternative to them and then finally we come down to what is it that I want most of all do I want this love this conceptual love that society and everyone else has been telling me is so fantastic even though it's hurt me or do I want nothing other than to heal and to embody my own authentic personality and be myself be the self that I was born to be so that's the algorithm you can put any concept into that and it's going to work the same way and I'm going to talk about other concepts and how it plays out using this exact same algorithm and I hope that's useful hopefully you can see maybe where you are maybe if you're in a story right now it's going to be okay I got to work on reversing some of the projections here if you're feeling a lack if you're feeling victimized if you're feeling angry you may be looking at some emotional awareness or body work and then it's it's the starting to really figure out what these thoughts are that are feeding into that negative emotion start to inquiry then we reinterpret and then we set the goal for ourselves once again so guys I hope that was interesting and helpful and again thanks as always for being with me and I'll see you again soon bye for now