 Sac Passe, welcome to Head vs. Heart, an online dating advice column where I give two pieces of advice to the questioner, one from the head and one from the heart, and you guys at home vote in the comment section below based on your experience, which would be the better advice to take. Now, this week's question comes from Desiree and she writes, hey, Shannon, my man of three years and I just broke up. This was my first real love. If you could give one piece of advice, how do I get through this? We ended things mutually and it was a smart decision to make. Could I keep in touch with him? If you're feeling compelled to ask this question, more than likely the answer is yes, you should talk to them. It sounds to me like you got some pain to work through. Yeah, like you got a little bit of tension in your chest, you just want to massage a little bit. You work on that for a second. I'm going to talk to Desiree, work on yourself. Anyways, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's divorce gave us a super dope term called conscious uncoupling. Now conscious uncoupling is this concept where two people who walk into the journey of love together, holding hands saying, you know what, I got you, you got me, decide to walk out the exact same way. It's when you lean on one another for support, for leverage, for closure, for guidance as the two of you guys maturely and mutually decide it's no longer in your best interest to pursue love any longer. And conscious uncoupling means you can rely on that person for closure, for support, you can still reach out and talk to them, you can still get the answers that you need and that way you walk out of this situation as unscathed as possible. Yes. But meanwhile over here on planet earth, that shit basically is never going to fly. Now Desiree, I want you to repeat after me. Love is not your friend. Love is a neurochemical response that is comprised of vasopressin and dopamine and oxytocin that fucks with your serotonin levels. Love is a biological necessity that is designed to make two mates stay together long enough to have and then raise a baby into maturity. Love doesn't have logic, doesn't have a mind. So listen to your head. Your head sees the relationship in its full picture. Your head knows why you guys broke up to begin with and you decided this love was no longer healthy for you. You need to cut that shit off and never look back. I don't know about you guys, but to even insinuate that the world's most powerful feeling is nothing more than science rather than a whole lot of magic is actually legitimately offensive. Now at the end of the day, the University of College London did a study that showed that women actually heal better from breakups than men. Now this can be attributed to the fact that when women break up with someone they spend more time by themselves trying to figure out what went wrong, doing damage control, assessing the breakup before just moving on. Now part of this is seeking closure, asking questions, figuring things out, leaning on your partner and deciding to include that person in the process rather than putting all of that struggle and pain onto yourself. So absolutely I'm not saying lean back into your former relationship, but I mean if it leads to that, it leads to that, but I'm just saying get all the closure you need. If you have a question, go ask. You got something to say? Go ahead and say it until there's nothing left to say, but hey, I loved you. Have a nice life. Listen to me, okay? You cannot talk to this person anymore than a crack fiend can get one more hit off the pipe man before totally going clean. You need to look at yourself as an addict right now. Love exists in the reward center of the brain, the exact same place that is hyper activated when somebody is on heroin. The thing that is making you sick will not make you feel better if you're just back together with it again. The person who is ripping out your heart will not ultimately complete your soul. It is not destiny or some grand design by the universe that is bounding you and calling you towards this person. It is biology. Pull it to fucking gather. It takes the average person a minimum of three months to get over any kind of major trauma until then you're only going to seek out ways to cope with the issue rather than removing yourself from the issue. So by putting yourself back in contact with that person, it is only a matter of time before y'all into that same tangle that you want to break free of from the first place. I'm going to be the first to say that you actually now own a place because you sound like a tin man. Stop talking to them. It's really not supposed to be the head but you sound heartless. The rest is up to you guys. Will it be head or heart? Write it in the comments section below and next week we will tally up the votes plus find out what Desiree did. I talk about my dick a lot, like a lot, a lot. My dick has always been something I brought up from the beginning of my YouTube career. And it's just something I talk about a lot in life, not only on YouTube but I talk about my dick a lot.