 Bismillah alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salam ala Rasulillah. So we've been talking about al-nafs al-amara, al-nafs al-lawama. And now that we're finishing up these sessions, we talk about al-nafs al-mutma inna. So in the past, we talked about how al-nafs al-amara, that's the nafs that commands us to bad choices. In the past, we talked about how the nafs can command us to bad choices. Once we become aware of this drive within us, then we can enter into a stage where we start to work on ourself. And the nafs that's working on itself and pushing back on that drive, the nafs that's working on itself and pushing back on that drive is al-nafs al-lawama. This is the nafs that's censuring itself. It's number one aware of the drive, because that's half the battle. If there's no awareness of this drive that's pushing us to bad choices and all we're seeing is behavior or we're not even aware of the behavior, then we're not able to intervene on that drive. So once we become aware that there's actually this drive within us that drives us to actions that we don't want to partake in, then we're able to push back. So we become aware of the drive, then we start to use different strategies to push back on that drive when we feel that drive. And that's al-nafs al-lawama. After a while of these exercises and doing this over and over again, it becomes our natural state. So for example, if you're right-handed, if you're right-handed as your dominant hand, and let's say you play basketball or football or baseball or you're a writer and you do a lot of writing, if you write with your dominant hand, that's gonna be natural to you. But after a while, if you wanna be proficient in basketball, if you wanna be really good at baseball, you have to learn how to be good with your left hand, your non-dominant hand as well. So let's just go into the basketball example. Suddenly you practice dribbling with your left hand. At first it feels awkward, at first it's difficult, doesn't feel natural, but over a period of time, your left hand gets wired through use to dribble well with the left hand. And at that point, you develop this habituation to be able to dribble with your left hand. And then at that point, you're able to just kind of move forward in this more advanced state. Similarly, when we do these exercises against our nofs, when we do these exercises with our nofs, at first it might feel awkward or not easy or not intuitive, but after a while, our nofs gets to a point where that drive is no longer there and that ability to censure ourselves or push back on that drive is automatic. That's the automatic part. Not the drive towards the bad choices, but the drive pushing in the opposite direction towards the good choices. That becomes automatic. A nofs with multimainna is the nofs that's balanced, it's pleased. And when we get there, it's about keeping that balance. It's about keeping that balance. It's about recognizing just like there was a set of circumstances that led to the nofs amara. And then we, those set of circumstances were sort of life circumstances. Maybe they were somewhat arbitrary. Obviously they were by design. Then we intentionally choose another set of exercises and circumstances to push back against that nofs amara. When we get to a nofs and multimainna where we've achieved a level of balance, now we recognize that we can absolutely go back to the way things work. If those circumstances come back in place, then that drive towards bad choices can come back again. So let me just, I can make that example simple. Let's use an example to make it simple. So you're naturally dribbling with your right hand. You learn how to dribble with your left hand. You stop dribbling with your right hand, you become dominant with dribbling with your left hand. But after a while, let's say you have an injury to your left hand. And now all you can do is dribble with your right hand. Pretty soon the circumstances have been created to go back to dribbling with your right hand. So when we have achieved a balance in our life, when we've broken behaviors or habits that have been longstanding and we've been working on to get rid of from our life, it's important to recognize it's not over. Those can come back. And so the next stage is to recognize when those habits are creeping back in our lives and to have a plan in place, to have a plan in place to address that. So it's not that when we feel like there's no longer a drive within us, it's not like the game is over. Actually, in a lot of ways, the game is starting to start because we need to, for most of us, our goal is to be free of this habit long-term. And so the same ways that we went from An-Nafs-Al-Lawamata, An-Nafs-Al-Muqma, Inna, well, how did we get there? We went through a bunch of exercises. So the first thing is abstinence. So fasting from the behavior, from the habit. So if it's something that we would look at, fasting from that, if it's something we used to ingest, it's fasting from that. So fasting allows your body to adjust, your mind and brain to adjust, and we've discussed that plenty in the past, but also keeping a distance from that thing. How did we get to this point? Keeping a distance from that thing and recognizing that that distance, when it closes, that might affect our ability to stay away from our habit. Okay, so fasting and then number two, we engaged in a series of exercises. That's what this whole book was. This whole book was exercises. What exercises can we learn? What exercises can we learn to motivate us and enhance our motivation? What exercises can we learn to push back on the nefs? When it tells us to do something, how do we talk back to it in an effective way? When it pushes us, how do we push back on it in an effective way? And so on and so forth. So we've been talking about that, essentially. How do we engage in specific exercises? And then what do we do when we're getting close to relapsing into that addictive behavior? How do we get back on track? How do we create self contracts with ourselves? A self contract is if I relapse into my behavior, what will I do this time to make sure that I'm able to be successful the next time? So for example, if I'm doing good, you say something along the lines of I'm gonna do plan A, but if I'm not able to succeed, then I'm gonna add an extra tool. I'm gonna make this self contract with myself. So maybe plan A, you're motivated to do groups and meetings and learning circles of Dean a counselor or a sponsor or a mentor to help you through the process or reading a book. Great, but let's say you're not motivated to something that you know would be good for you. What you wanna do is you can add that to your plan B. Obviously it's better to do it with your plan A, but you add that with your plan B, a self contract. If I can't get it with these eight tools and I relapse or I'm getting close to relapse, I'm gonna add this ninth tool or this 10th tool in order to defeat the addictive behavior. Another thing you can do is to have consequences. So for example, if you engage in your addictive behavior, you don't drink cold water for a month or something along those lines. So ideally you wanna do a consequence that is gonna help you in resolving your addictive behavior and that could simply be adding that extra tool, but you can also use a consequence that is a help you motivate you to stay away from that behavior. Like for example, we've talked about in the past, anti-charities. So in behavioral economics, you'll see anti-charities or in behavioral science, you'll hear anti-charities as a tactic, which is to basically pick a charity that you're opposed to that organization's values and views and mission and goal. And you say, if I relapse or if I engage in my addictive behavior, I'm gonna donate to that charity. So for example, if it's, I don't know, if you're against animal cruelty or something like that. This is a bad example, but I'm just gonna say it to get the point across. If you're against animal cruelty then, or you're against guns or something like that. I don't think there's an example I can give that's not a, that's gonna be a fence something or someone, but if you're against guns, let's say hypothetically, and you engage in your addictive behavior. So then just donating to a cause that is against your values. That can be a really strong motivator. Again, it has to be something that you're against that you're really strongly passionate about. Because then what it does is it tethers this cause of getting over your addictive behavior to that cause. And in reality, all the causes are together because it all stipends up to one cause. So a plan in place when you relapse, putting a plan in place when you relapse. So when you're at that stage where you have balance, then you start to, you keep in mind what tools have worked for you in the past to get you to that place. And then you have a low threshold for re-engaging in those tools if you start to develop warning signs of going back to your addictive behavior. Can you see my screen? Okay, all right. Okay. All right, so chapter 10, your personalized recovery plan. This is actually a short chapter. This is the last chapter. In this chapter, you put all the skills that you've learned through the whole series of sessions that we have. You put them all together into a personalized recovery plan. So you look at the menu of options and you look at the ones that now it's time to pick some options that'll work for you. So you start with the ones that look tasty or that you have an appetite for. Just start with there. You should start somewhere. Some minimal viable effort to address your addictive behavior. You start there and then you iterate but you start somewhere. You have to start somewhere. Like I was watching something Steve Jobs said about putting out products. He said, one of the problems that people come across that impedes their success is that they have a great idea and then they work on making it perfect before they put it out into the world. And his suggestion, his advice was, put together a minimal viable product. Put it out into the world, see if it works and then iterate and refine from there. Refine from there. I'm in the Bay Area, so we talk like this. Silicon Valley and so I didn't used to be like this. Just over time it happens. So you refine based on what's needed, based on the feedback you get. You thought this would work, this would be a good idea. It wasn't, drop it, move somewhere else because success is what you're looking for or you didn't think this would be a good idea but you're getting feedback that that's where you need to be going. So then you move towards that even though it's not comfortable for you, you move towards that, you refine that, you learn how to integrate that. If that's not something that you have experience in, that's what your base wants. That's what success dictates. So then you learn how to do that and you go from there. So just looking at your menu of options and taking the couple that you have an appetite for, put them together, that's your plan and then iterate from there. Likely you're gonna need more than what you're just comfortable with in order to overcome a long-standing addictive behavior that's so firmly rooted or and started from childhood when our brains had yet to develop and our personalities had yet to develop and sort of integrated with an addictive behavior or a specific behavior. All right, so you pick the plan, you start getting to work and then you don't worry about having the perfect plan, you just start putting it out there and then you refine. First you will need to be aware of your personal warning signs for relapse. So it says there's a few ways that you will use the skills you've learned to prepare for a long-term recovery, not days, not weeks, not months because many people will get months simply by virtue of a consequence. So they have a family member find out, they're super motivated, they're able to just get a few months or maybe even a year of abstinence or some other consequence happens. The idea is not to wait for external circumstances to change our behavior or give us the motivation to change our behavior. The goal is to use those external circumstances as a brief reprieve so we can start working on how do we take the reins of our own motivation and then you start working on your own motivation and how to increase that. When life is simple and easy and there's no external life stressors and you're emotionally balanced, then you use that time to take the reins of your own emotional regulation. And you say, well, how do I maintain my internal states and manage my internal states and go from there? So you use those external circumstances to your advantage. There are a few ways that you will use the skills you've learned to prepare for a long-term recovery. First, you will need to be aware of your personal warning signs for relapsing into your behavior. So that awareness is not a step to just fly over or breeze over. That awareness is so key and that's why mindfulness is so important. That's why having moments to check in with yourself in the prayers and between prayers from Juma to Juma and meeting to meeting, week to week, so on and so forth. So you'll need to be aware of your personal warning signs when they're occurring and be prepared with the plan for what to do if you're someone close to you begins to notice these signs. So it can be that you notice them or it can be that you have a network of people who start to notice them. You have a network of people that say, you told me isolation is an issue for you. I haven't seen you for a while. You've just sort of been grumpy or irritable. What's going on? It doesn't seem like you're in a good place because it's fine to have a bad response but if that persists, that can be problematic. So first, you'll need to be aware of your personal warning signs, be prepared for with the plan for what to do if you're someone close to you begins to notice these signs. Second, although the hope is that you don't slip or relapse given that most people who are in recovery do it one time or another, you'll need to prepare for how to handle a slip to prevent it from turning into a full blown relapse. So where you're at right now, let's say you have a period of abstinence. That's not the goal. That's the beginning for a lot of people. That's the beginning of relapse prevention. That's an incredible goal to be at. It takes some time to get there. But then in terms of long-term recovery, you use that time of calm to start to really start the planning and start the awareness of what are my personal warning signs and what do I do when I start slipping? And then you go from there. So we'll stop here, inshallah. And what I would do is I would read the next couple of sections, signs of trouble, exercise 11.1. And although this is a short chapter, we may take a little one or two more in classes to go over it before we wrap it up because it's a lot of good stuff here. A lot of good stuff here and it brings it all together.