 Hello all. I am occasionally known as dead addict once a year or so. And with me I have some of the senior staff here and important people that help make this thing happen. Right now I believe this year our current staff count is over 250 people. And these people work their asses off harder than anyone I've ever seen. Not only at DEF CON but put in stupid, stupid countless hours volunteer time before the conference and work 16-18 hour days some of them to help make this happen. DEF CON 1 was 100 people so our staff is two and a half times the size of DEF CON 1. And you know there was a couple of volunteers to begin with in the first year but at this point we have a large number of teams. And organizing DEF CON organizers is the most difficult thing imaginable. I'm thrilled everyone here got grabbed and agreed to come because about half of those that said they would are off putting out emergencies and making the CON run right now. Probably best that everyone's not on stage because you don't want that single bomb and DEF CON's gone forever so that's not good. We're somewhat expendable here. This is going to be a pretty informal presentation so I'm going to let everyone introduce themselves and talk about what they do and the teams they're on and we'll have maybe share some interesting anecdotes about things that happen on the teams that people are on and we'll chat among star cells and I guess I'll start. I'm on the press team. I'm second in command of the press team which is 20-some people at this point. We have over 150 media organizations that show up at DEF CON from all over the planet. Over a dozen video crews and news crews and we're very press friendly and pretty much unless you have a hidden recording device or are trying to covertly tape people which is really inappropriate we're happy to have the press. The exception is local media. They're not allowed and I think that's a very good judgment call. I spewed a lot of bullshit there so you want to pick away which part is bullshit there? Well you're part of the press so pretty much all of it probably. I handle the press so you're right. They did repeal don't ask don't tell but don't tell. Just wash your hands when you're done. You licked my hands? What? Anyway. Saved that for Q&A. So I was sort of over there. Okay. Info booth please. Okay I sat down here because there was no microphone but it didn't work. Basically I run the information booth and we are the people that try to collect all the information from all the departments of what's going on, where it's going on, how's it working right now and then disseminate it as requested. So you ever tried to get information out of a bunch of hackers? It can be really interesting getting it. We have a staff this year of 12 and next year will probably be at least 14. Requirements to be if you want to be an information booth goon because you've got to have been to the con at least two years so you're not confused of what's going on and where it's going on. We still have people that have that problem. And then you can ask us if somebody knows you it's an even more benefit but our job is to get the information out of where everything is. So if you're looking for the bathroom, the food or tamper prevention contest it doesn't matter. We probably have an answer. Our secondary function is disinformation. You come up with something stupid we'll give you a stupid answer. When did the team start? How did it come about? I'll ask a question for one minute. Defcon 8 we had the conversation it was actually Romer and DA came up with the idea that we had to have one place to quit bothering dispatch which is the information booth and Defcon 9 was the first one I ran there was a total of three of us and that was quite interesting. If you went to Defcon 9 it was fun. Any beautiful brilliant anecdotes to tell? Any glory stories or shame? Okay number one question today we actually started a drinking game today which we had to cancel. It's where is the pen and teller? So every time we were asked my morning shift team was kind of stumbling after they left. Where are they? Drink. So for those of you don't know where pen and teller is you walked by coming down to the con go back out like you're heading to the casino it'll be on the right hand side it's a big ticket booth. The Q&A is over here what's on the map says Q&A 4 that's pen and teller. Track 4's Q&A is over at pen and teller. I don't handle it I just give the information out. Where is it? I just covered that. Thanks. Next. Hey how's it going? I'm Grifter. I run the louder. How's it going? I'm Grifter. I run the events as well as the villages so making sure that those areas or events of space that they get hooked up with the hotel if a bar is required which it often is that all of the logistics of that gets worked out. A lot of the work that my team does which is consists of me and two other guys is all done prior to the con and then we come here and just make sure basically that things are continuing to run smoothly and that they show up. It's pretty sweet because it's like go to all the parties and make sure that they're great. That doesn't suck. Also I said the villages kind of started out of when we were over at the RIV we had sky boxes that looked down onto the floor over the contest area and the CTF. So we wanted to do something interesting with those. We wanted people to try to provide some kind of content or give something back to DEF CON to get a sweet space for their group to use. I think it was the lockpick guys the tool guys were the first guys who said hey we'd like to do a lockpick village where we set things up and everybody comes in. Yeah sky talks as well they ended up in there. But they said oh we want to do something and we want to be able to now have a space where we can just teach everyone we'll put out tables tons of picks and locks and they did that. Wireless village followed sky talks. I mean it was a fantastic space and then when we moved over here we kept a lot of those things going we just were able to give them larger spaces and the ability to host more people. So it's worked out pretty well. If you're interested in throwing a party or using some space next year or in later DEF CONs then just reach out to me grifter at DEF CON.org and tell me what you want to do and we'll get you some space. It's open to everybody you just got to have a great idea. When do you start planning? When do you start work? Please hold the questions at the end. Answer me it's my job to ask you embarrassing questions. Normally I start to reply to those requests in January. I figure that once this show ends I'm allowed to ride out the rest of the year. That's about as much time as I need to recover. That's all you. I'm Romer. I run the vendor area here. I've said this before and people always think I'm kind of joking but it's absolutely true. I have the easiest job at DEF CON. It's the easiest job at DEF CON. We do all of our work leading up to DEF CON. Basically we start with our staff and by the way you guys have fucking big staffs. I've got four people. You guys have these giant staffs. I've obviously done a bad job of getting enough goons on my team. We're very efficient. It's not our fault nobody wants to work with you. So what we do is basically we start in typically February or March timeframe and we start opening up vendor registration on April 15th. It's tax day every year. Same day. That's why I can remember it. It makes it easier. And then from about April 15th until yesterday this is a part-time job. We put in about 20 hours a week getting everything together. Working with the hotel here to find out, you know, like if you've been in the vendor area you saw the Irvine Underground and the Hacker Stickers guys have that big banner hanging from the ceiling. So they called me and said we want to actually hang something from the ceiling. I said I have no idea if you're allowed to do that or not. So we get in touch with our contact here at the hotel, get them together, figure it out and this may not be shocking to you. That was not free. Does it meet fire code? Does it meet fire code? I hope so. They haven't shut us down yet. No. That's the other thing. We have to build the diagram of how the tables are going to be set up in that room. In really small font by the way. But earlier than some people. But once we get the room layout set up we have to send it to the Clark County Fire Marshal to determine whether or not it's going to work out for that room and not get the whole conference shut down because we were too dumb to do it the right way. But the great thing about being the vendor lead is after yesterday when everybody sets all their stuff up all our job is for the rest of DEFCON is calling the Rio to get garbage out of the room. So I get to go and drink and have fun for the rest of the week while everybody else is working. We all hate you. What makes you say yes or no to a vendor and what are the vendors that we have disallowed in the past? I'm sorry but you're my new hero. You are a fucking genius. Do you get to drink the entire DEFCON? Are you hiring? Do you need someone? We'll help you. I'll transfer right now. I'm telling you it's the easiest job here. I was going to go to knock because they got it pretty easy but shit. Knock has couches though. Oh really? Actually the vendor process has been something over the years. We've done good and bad. It's taken us a long time to get to the point where I think the attendees actually like most of the vendors that are in there now and we've had some bad ideas. I've had some vendors that I'll get an application from them and I'm like oh that'll be cool and then they get here and it was a bad idea and they're like wow. Give us an example name names. Yeah name names please. The e-sig people, the hacks or chicks. But you didn't place the hacks or chicks which is some soft core pornography right next to hackers for Jesus. So the placement there is pretty unplayed. Souls were saved. I had managed to forget about the hacks or chicks until you brought that up. I'm going to punch you in the balls later for that. We certainly made mistakes. I don't know. For people that this is your first DEF CON you really don't know this but for folks that have been coming for years probably 10 years ago all that was for sale in there was t-shirts. It was 90% t-shirt vendors. And then IRA. And IRA. So I'd like to just bring up using anecdote regarding the soft core awful pornography. No stop stop. No no no. I will leave the room if you say this. It's fine and glorious. So someone wanted their CD signed by one of the women that was involved in this and she punched him in the face because it was a blank CD that had the thing written on it. So if your business model is selling content you can expect to sell one. That's exactly what happened. Somebody ripped it and put it online and then people were blanking it. It's DEF CON 20. I think we can tell a lot more. So let's be perfectly honest. DEF CON hacks or chick thing came out and there was middling feelings about this. So somebody figured out that it was possible to put it in a pay-per-view system for the entire hotel. I don't know what you're talking about. And someone else figured out how to go to room to room and unlock the pay-per-view system. It wasn't actually the pay-per-view system. It's fine. It's unlocked. Everyone got to see it. Point being, so here we got, here we literally have like, they're trying to sell this product and we're giving it away for free because we don't approve of the product. Which is actually a really interesting way to deal with your illicit issues. To be fair to you. To liquidate it. To the individuals who did that. To be perfectly fair and honest. DEF CON, that was one of our mistakes. We didn't really... No one at DEF CON, no one on DEF CON staff. It was one of those, wow this looks like a really great idea to have a pornography event. Yeah but it has a silver lining. Oh wait, what's the message we're sending here? DEF CON is not about exploitation of women. DEF CON is not about any of that stuff. And we realized very quickly that that was a really dumb idea. Yeah, right. But the best way to get rid of it is to make it. The rumor was very good about it. I just, I just want to say that, you know, if, if there, it was a bad idea, it was a good idea at the time. We apologize for it. We're human, most of us. I will be honest, I do not apologize. I, it was a fuck up but I'm not apologizing. It was gross. The best way to get rid of something you don't like is to make everybody not care about it anymore. And that's what we did and it worked and they're gone now. Fuck them in fucking ways. Well, listen, listen, just let me say something here. Okay, there is a silver lining to that though because of the acquired access to the television channels though. We started hosting the DEF CON movie channel for years following that. So once we had access to the hotel. We're not about the exploitation of women. We're not about second class citizens or anything like that. If I can, like, just take a side. I want to open the fed contingent who rolled in. This is totally not DEF CON related per se, but it's totally Hacksor Chicks related. We obviously got one of the DVDs and Mike gave a new employee the Hacksor Chicks DVD and told him it was his training DVD. That doesn't sound HR compliant. By the way, the person that we're talking about is my second in command in the vendor area. And he goes home, like, sits down in front of his TV with his notebook to start taking notes. And it starts up and he's like, what the hell is this? And you wonder why no one wants to work with you. I'd now like to talk about the people who pooped themselves at DEF CON since they were in the whole, oh, no, no. And we're moving along. So lock. There's the NSA. There's the NSA of DEF CON. The info booth. The NSA of DEF CON. Go lock. Let's get lock talk because that's who you guys all came to hear anyway. Yeah, because he didn't like three talks about the network already today. I would like to thank you for helping arrange putting the EFF and NSA right next to each other. That was glorious and very appropriate. I live to serve. I hope they have long conversations together and fall in love. By the way, I put Harbor Hackenvillage right next to them, too. So it's like a three small explosives. So free entertainment is what you're saying. Helicopter landed on the roof and some people disappeared. Wasn't that DEF CON 4? The EFF has helicopters. Right. So I'm Lockheed. I run the network operations team here as well as DCTV. Yes, we're still trying to get it working. Sorry. Been doing this for 17 years. We have our largest staff this year because it's DEF CON 20. Because it's 165,000 square feet that we have to cover at any given moment. So we're up to 14 people on staff this year. Fuck. I'll give you my throwaway. I'm getting more people. There are now some vendor staff openings. If anybody wants to be again, I need more staff. We all want on your team. The Slack team? Yes. If your job requirement is being able to drink and call for garbage removal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all semi-qualified for that. The first part very qualified. Right. Yeah, so we, you know, much like the other teams here, we tend to start our work in January. We work throughout the year working with the hotel, the AV folks, trying to get requirements from various people. Vendors is usually pretty good. Thank you. Yeah. Our job's easy. Why wouldn't we be good? The contest group is still learning. Not you, Drifter. Oh, no. The other. The contest, you mean Pyro who was supposed to be here talking to you, decided not to show up? Why yes, that one. He's drunk. And so we, you know, it's a ramp up from January until now. The closer you get, the more time we spend putting this together. And it's, you know, it's politics with the hotel, it's relationships with the hotel, working with Caesar security, making sure we're protecting each other from each other. And working with all the groups here to make sure we understand what everybody wants, make sure it's not too insanely crazy. And that we, you know, we can set expectations. Everybody arrives knowing what to expect and it just happens. And this year came together pretty damn well, actually. Say for a couple vendors. But see, you check out, so they just called dispatch and then get to me. So it's great. It's not a garbage call, therefore not your responsibility. So basically they give us a next tell that we're supposed to carry around with us so that we can communicate with each other. Right. I got mine yesterday, turned it off, threw it in my room and I had to. The battery is dead, I understand. Exactly. So the DEF CON network, I believe I might have coined the phrase, the most hostile network on the planet. Oh, is that your fault? Yeah, no, I think so. Yeah, you're welcome. The press loves that shit. Is that complete bullshit? What did you say? It certainly used to be true when it was really a giant free for all. I mean, even back in the day, my Internet Explorer got exploited by the Goetzee cash poisoning problem. That was awesome. And you were in the knock. No, that was at the Alexis Park. I was roaming around. I was testing. We did that on purpose to you, by the way. I love you too. They open source that. How has it been with increased over the years and is it saturated ever? I'm sorry, sir, that's classified. So at DEF CON 4, which was where I first started staffing, we had two ISDN lines. We got one B channel on one line working. We had 64K. Yeah? So a couple of dial-ups would have been a little bit more effective. And that was until somebody stole the modem. So it was running for an afternoon. And that was a milestone because my first DEF CON was DEF CON 3 and I'm sitting in the audience and there was supposed to be a network, but it didn't happen and I'm sitting there going. It wasn't me. It was an electrical burning. No, it ended up being the router, apparently. It was melting down. So it was after that that Jeff goes, hey, you know what, when we're on the network next year? And that's pretty much how all the teams began is there was an organic need and very often someone would step up to the plate and say, hey, I'm willing to do that. And then suckers were tied to life for this. No, 100% if you guys remember like DEF CON 6, 7, 8, there was no vendor application process. It was people showed up and started selling shit, you know? I mean, the vendor area and CTF was all in this one giant room. And then we started realizing we're going to have to actually control this somewhat. Otherwise we're going to have soft core porn or something being sold. So yeah, it was totally, oops, I guess we need to do that. Okay, so I think the most ironic story I have for this year is you've got all the naysayers out there. We've spent a number of years actually making part of the DEF CON network secure and safe for people to use with average expectations, same as they would at home, for example. And so there's always people going, no, no, it's a trap. Don't use the DEF CON wireless. You'll get owned. Even the secure stuff, right? It is just for you. And so the funny part is, as soon as people get here, you hear people in the hallways going, no, I'm not going to use a wireless. Oh, but we see this GSM network called Ninja something. Let's connect to that. Because that's secure, I'm sure. If you see an AP that says it's FBI or FU or something, probably like an ID card. Or free public Wi-Fi. So Lockheed, what happened to the Wi-Fi puppy? The Wi-Fi puppy is not here this year. I know, I know. Yeah, whose fault is that, Lockheed? Heather's. Oh, man. She's right under the bus. I did. Yeah. Tell them about the Wi-Fi puppy. No, no, no. I'll send Sean to go on next. She's more, she's better looking than I am. Bear race. Wait, wait, I do want to point out that we have a girl on staff. A girl on staff. Girl, girl. No. Woman. Thank you. Sorry. A female. Of a human variety. Now, if you had a minority in the handicapped, you'd have all the boxes checked. It's token time, right? Mentally doesn't come. Not mentally. So you need to hire me. I'm so injured. Go ahead. Hello. I'm Sunshine. I run the swag department. This is my third year. I've been on staff for seven years now. I started with Falker down in the info booth. And I think like most people would be surprised about, we have 20 people on staff this year. Sorry. We had eight people on staff last year and I don't think any of them were breathing on Sunday. So in order to tend to the lines and get people through and get their swag in time, we decided to really shore up and get a lot of hackers helping out. So I guess as far as planning, when do we start planning? I think we started planning DEF CON 21 last week, was it? Oh, my. No, like last week, we started thinking about different things that we could, yeah, we start really early and we go throughout the year trying to think about efficiencies we can gain, things that we can do to help get people through the line and get the product that they want. And like we're a staff of volunteers and like I said, hackers, we're not merchandise folks but we try. We understand. Yeah. Well, we are once a year anyways. Merch people. Yeah. So I guess that's pretty much it for us. Awesome. You guys though are way different than it used to be. I mean used to be the selling of like shirts here was the clusterfuck like you wouldn't believe. Which is true with many of the departments before they were departments. The area was a complete mess. Yeah, no exception there. Yeah, like where we started off with that room, I mostly remember the room at the river where they were just throwing shirts out of boxes. Now we have a store room where everything is organized by size and we're able to figure out what we have in stock immediately and get things going through a lot more variety as well. Next thing you know, you're going to have order takers in line with iPads like in and out. Actually, that's one too many. By the way, anybody here from back east? Have you all been to in and out? Okay, you need, there's an in and out here in Vegas. It makes White Castle look like greeting detergent. That is the biggest lie that anybody has a throw down. Jesus Christ White Castle rule. No fat burger. I need an egg on that shit. All y'all need to put the crack pipe down because you're clearly not in reality. So many jokes. So many jokes. Go to get an out burger. Get yourself a double double animal style extra grilled onions. Go to town. You're crazy. Die happy. So I'm Agent X. I run speakers for DEF CON. I started doing it at DEF CON 8. I just had to do the math. I think I was alone. I think I was 20. I've been coming since 6. And my first job at 8 that was like a real goon job was selling t-shirts. I'd like to buy a t-shirt. Do you have some money? Okay, here you go. That was it. It was sketchy. Were they your t-shirts? No. So back before 8, speakers came to DEF CON. They were invited. And we just kind of, I don't even know what happened. They just appeared on stage magically at some time during their allotment. We beat them with sticks into the room. Well, so this is the interesting thing. Sometimes they should have. We were all younger. And we drank a lot. So the first couple years, it wasn't really about optimizing the process. It was really about making sure the speaker was alive. Not in prison. Sober. And maybe you prepared to present. It's when the hell did sober come into this equation. No, no, no. I mean like not falling down. With Dan Kaminski. I'm not sober. DEF CON sober. I remember the exact moment that sober came into play with Dan Kaminski. No, he's still drunk. So anyway, so basically over the years, the first year, I was basically tasked with running speakers. They're like, we need a volunteer. And they looked at me and I said, oh, okay. And you said yes. And I said yes. And we all laughed at you when you bought it. Yeah. You were there. You were there. You were there. It was a stupid move. Anyway, so I said yes. And so for at the AP, I ran three tracks for three days by myself. Then I decided the next year, I should invite somebody to help me. And basically I learned that I need more people every year because I can only kill so many people a year. Just give us the number. Just give us the fucking number. 25. By the way, I can tell you I am so glad that none of my guys are in here. If they found out that I could have a bigger staff and they could work less hours, they would shoot me in the head for what I do to them. But in the DEF CON 8, we found him naked in the shower with a stack of Oreo cookies rocking back and frying and eating Oreo cookies. After DEF CON 8, after having to run three tracks, no, you found me in a different state than someplace else. Anyway, so yeah. And basically now I am very lucky to have a very experienced staff of people that know how to deal with speakers and all their issues. What was that? And you know, frankly, we took an opposite approach to how to handle speakers. All speakers are equally shit and we don't care and we hate you. No one is important. No one is important, especially the speaker. My comment was directed at the speakers. It's great. It works really well. They basically know their place and they stay there. And we don't coddle them and we don't try and do anything nice for them. And we say mean things about them. So a couple years ago, this guy comes up to me and he's like, you know, I've been to a bunch of conferences. You know, I've been to TED and I've been to like, you know, fucking other conferences. Hope. Hope is a good example. Anyway, he goes to a bunch of conferences and he's like, you know, I really like the way you handle speakers. It's really honest. And I'm like, yeah, now get on fucking stage. Are you making eye contact with me right now? Look away. The suit, he's actually wearing a leather boost. Yeah, he's got some knee high leather boots and a riding crop. Yeah. So this would be a good time for me to say I'd like to thank all all the speakers over the years. And without them, there'd be no definitely wouldn't be. Thank you. One thing I want to say about this, though, if you walk around and you're probably the speakers, everybody's like, Agent X is dick. Because of exactly what you say. But one of the things is they've got a rule that if you're going to be a speaker, you have to show up in the speaker ready room 40 minutes before your talk. God fucking dammit. The first time that I spoke at DEF CON, I'm on on staff. And I say, I don't have to do that. He's like, yeah, you fucking have to be there 40 minutes early. Where the hell were you 40 minutes before this talk? Oh, you want to know where I was 40 minutes before this talk? I know exactly why you are not in the speaker ready room. That's right. I was not in the speaker ready room. Actually, this is really, this is totally, this is total comeuppance on me. I was informed that I was in a talk five minutes before the talk, which is classic DEF CON. There's no excuse. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. There's no excuse. We had a conference call. Yeah. Did you really? You were there. I was not in the conference call. You were absolutely on the conference call. Oh, that conference call. I was drunk. I was drunk on that call, dude. Oh, I said yes. Never say yes. Anyway, so yeah, I have this great staff. They do pretty much all the work and then I fly around in a suit and go, ooh, and say stupid things. And yeah, and one of the cool things that we've been doing and it's actually security, well, you represent security, but the other part of security, we've had to handle a lot of like what I call annoying, high-touched speakers. And so, and we do crowd control. We don't do crowd control, but we are on speakers and crowd control influences how many people are in a talk, you know, because this room is just packed with people right now. And the, and it's really awesome that we have all these separate departments who never talk to each other and then we all get together and we just unfuck it on the fly. So this is the most important patch you need to see this year. Fuck it. We'll do it live. And we do that every year and it works just fine. And it's because we have awesome, awesome staff. We do. We do. People that come to DEF CON know exactly what they're getting involved in. So are you saying I need to order more of those patches? Yeah, thanks for the patch, by the way. Yeah, so, priest, you want to go next? Okay. And dude, this number is going to send me off the god damn chain. Just give us the number. This is the biggest number and I'm going to go. Yeah. That number is classified. I'm sorry. I'm going to put it for the department. It's above top secret. It's TSSCI Green. My name is priest. I've been here since DEF CON 4. I go by many names. They range from asshole to very mean, ugly white guy to holy shit. Here he comes. What's that? That's true. I was saying, do I? How long do I know you? Red card. I can't really see you past these lights. Who's speaking? Something I should know about. That would be awesome. No, it wouldn't. You know why? I know why, but it would still be awesome. For us, not you. My wife is Chinese and she's a nurse, which means she has access to sharp objects and knows how to use them. One of the most frightening moments... Like we don't? Not like she does. Fair enough. One of the most frightening moments of my life is watching her cut a cucumber with those little hatchets, the Chinese... She sits there with a smile on her face and just says this. I know exactly what you're thinking. I'm going to hit the lawn. Anyway, technically my title is Minister of Portfolio. I'm the uncle in the family that no one invites to the friendly parties, but the second Billy is in jail. I'm the guy that gets called. My job is effectively the shit collector. So if you're seeing me in an official capacity, it's probably a very, very bad moment for you. And honest to God, my job is to try and help you through that moment. It's not to make that moment worse. I know it appears that I'm actually taking some type of sadistic glee. I'm really not... That's all in act. That's all in act. Yeah, it is. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. It's Pyro! It's Pyro! Hey, Priest. Priest. Do you remember Defconn 9 and the attendee that says, can you really take me down in less than a minute? Yes, Ed. I do remember that. And I also remember what I did to them. Yeah, no, it's not... Which is a very liberating thing for me. I used to play rugby. I did many, many years of martial arts and a whole bunch of other stuff. That's not the side of me that I hope you get to see. When I mentioned people who poof themselves at Defconn, I have had cases where a young lady became so drunk that she had her shoes stolen and in the middle of the hallway promptly shat herself and proceeded to shat herself four or five times, including as she's being put into the ambulance to be taken to the hospital. You tell the most wonderful stories. I do. I had one young lady whose boyfriend decided to mix methamphetamine, cocaine, mushrooms and LSD at the same time. He went into cardiac arrest four times. I have a medical background and a gentleman who's with me is what's called a Special Forces Medic. Does anybody here familiar with a Special Forces Medic is? Could you raise your hand? You mean a doctor with a gun? Okay, so I also do spot the Fed. The gentleman over here who raised his hand and knows what a Special Forces Medic is, Fed. That's not a Fed. They're not very bright. You can kind of catch them and stuff like that. Yeah, I get you. He did. He coded four times. The problem we had, and we revived him, and it's very rare for someone to come back from a situation where they're in arrest and live. I mean, the percentages in terms of CPR are very low, and it's not like the movies where they just spontaneously wake up. It's very, very rare to have that happen. This guy actually woke up and it was just kind of like, wow, that's never happened before. The problem we had, though, was his girlfriend also imbibed some of the similar substances, and as we're trying to get into the locked room that he's in dying, she's explaining that she can't open the door because she's dropped all her fingers. So I had to reach down and grab something off the ground. I said, here's your finger, sweetie. And she said, oh, thank you. And she opened the door. So that's the stuff that we're usually doing. We're here in security. We're not here to make your life miserable. We're really here to try and make sure that everybody has the best time possible. And we want to ensure that we want that message to go out. Yes, sometimes we are being assholes, but we have to be assholes because we don't want the real assholes from Vegas Metro to come in and make your lives miserable. And like I said, we want everybody to have a good time. We want you to enjoy the convention. We want to make sure it's safe and sane and there's no problems. And we have to do horrible things. Last year I had to clear the Penn and Teller conference area. We had to. And I was a bad guy for it. And I apologize to the audience for doing it, but we had to do it. So if you see a red shirt, understand we're not colossal assholes because we want to be, we're colossal assholes because we have to be. How would you say the venue impacts your job? I mean, for example, from the Riviera to here and the AP, just the physical layout. From 4 to 20, how bad has it got? From 4 to 20? It's, the honest answer to that question has gotten progressively better. We as a community have matured. We as a community have, for lack of a term, grown up. You know, I see kids who I saw at DEF CON 5 bringing their kids DEF CON 20. And that's really cool. And like I said, we matured. Before, we're dealing with, I hacked the air conditioning in the tent where it's 115 degrees. Fuck it's hot in here. To, you know, hey, you know, we're trying to enjoy speaking here, would you shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down? Which is a nice thing to see and it's gotten easier for us. We do appreciate that. And like I said, if you guys have problems, we are here to help and we do want to help. And we want to make sure that you have the best time you can. I think one of the ways you can characterize it, priest, is at DEF CON 4, we did have the official DEF CON in a while. We also had 7 on his knees being spanked by people. I should go. We got 10 minute warning. 10 minutes. See, I talk forever. They know to warn you in advance. I'm Pyro. I run all the public contest events here at DEF CON. Actually, I don't. A team of about 16 that works with me does. Jesus Christ. It's been an absolutely crazy year. This year we almost increased our submissions about 33%. So right now we're managing and we have 55 events and contests that are operating at DEF CON this year. Definitely take the time to go out and check them out and visit these contests. These people put a lot of time and effort into it. But it's just interesting to watch it grow. I mean, I started doing contests. Let's see, I worked security for you when I was 7. I think it was the first time and you brought me in because of all the stuff. It was Manel and something happening in her room. So since Russ... Do you hate me? Why are you bringing up all these bad memories? First bad, now you. They're not bad for us. Fuck all you, I'm going home. They're not bad for you. Didn't you take us to shitting our pants? But you shared a shit your pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't tell them it was you. No, they know. But we started managing and built a division out for contests. DC 8 kind of formalized things and actually had some decent structure by about DC 9, DC 10. Russ Rogers ran that for a very long time. I was a second and it's just been amazing to watch how people are doing on their own. I mean, you look at the complexity of the contest and the amount of time these people are taking to develop and build these contests for you at scary. They literally start the day after DEF CON when they go home. So please, please honor these people. Take the time to go see what they're doing. Stop by these tables. Talk to them and ask them about what their event is about. Wait a second. There's no way I'm honoring Civ yet. Okay, so since we're pipping out talks, tomorrow at 1400 hours, it's 2 o'clock, I'm doing a meet the men in black. We are having some two and three star generals on a panel and from various intelligence agencies after Spot the Fed where you'll be able to ask any question you want and they will answer your questions as honestly as they can. Definitely. Just one second, sir. Good to see you. How are you? All done. Questions at the end? We're almost done. Anyway, come in. Do the contest events. Check it out. We've got them scattered out throughout all the different areas. There's stuff that goes on on stages at night, several different competitions that are very spectator-ish. But participate. If they're looking for contestants and people to be in this, raise your hand and try it. Doesn't matter if you do bad, you're up there participating, having fun. Try it. When I send out the RFI, well, next year it's going to be sent out probably four to five months before DEF CON. I have a staff making sure that's happening now. Pyro. What do you owe me still? A bottle. A what kind of bottle? A very nice variety. Thank you. Why? Because I missed two of my deadlines with networking. One of the things with the contest area that's really kind of neat, and you're right. I love to see people that show up here and participate in contests. There's any kind of contest going on in there. One of the coolest stories was from last year. One of the guys decided to run the beard and mustache contest. When I read online that we were going to have a beard and mustache contest at DEF CON, I get the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. We have jumped the shark. We're kidding me. I call Pyro up. I'm giving him the business. I'm like, you got a fucking beard contest. What's wrong with you? I went in there to watch the beard contest just to make fun of it. If you had told me that I would spend two hours of my time in Las Vegas at DEF CON, watching a beard contest I'd have told you you were high. It was the funnest thing I've ever watched in my life. He's a hell of a stage presence. Definitely go watch a show. If you want to participate in your chances are he's going to let you. Let's try it. If it sucks, then we won't do it again, but if it's cool, let's go with it. I have a good idea for a contest, Pyro. I can't believe nobody's come up with us after 20 years. It's called spot dark tangent. That would be harder than a fed. We won't be getting out any shirts for that. Before I open up the panel to questions, we just have a few minutes for questions. Go to the DEF CON forums and staff members will be happy to attend. Unfortunately, and I don't know about everyone else, I think a lot of people myself included are leaving our jobs that we should be at at DEF CON. Some of us work for a living to be in this panel. Our bridge is empty. I would like to reiterate and mention again that our entire staff loves DEF CON so much that we give them a chance to help run it. And we all miss it. Yeah, it's true. We joke all the time about there's talks at DEF CON. The only way this year I've been able to see talks is to actually give them. Yeah, exactly. Same here. I haven't seen a talk since 4. Yeah. My first DEF CON I saw talks and then I started working. And I also wake up at about 8 in the morning and don't go to sleep until this is how they take care of us though. This year there was and I agree, I haven't been to a talk that I wasn't given in probably 10 years. This year there was a talk that I wanted to see so bad. When we were looking at talks, I'm like this talk has to be on the schedule. It gets approved. It's going on at the same fucking time as this. We plan that by the way. Yeah, so I'm going to go buy some DVDs. So does anybody have any questions? Any questions at all? You have two minutes. No, no, we have one. Stand up, sir. Yeah, he works for me. He's one of my goons. Over there. So the question is how does communication work or not work? Do you meet the tactical level, the strategic level, the operational level, the accounting level or that level that we're not allowed to talk about? We have next health and then before we get on the phone. Oh, we have a big mailing list and we just hash it out. And base, we don't talk about that. And conference calls as well. And the other thing is that we've, I mean, you've heard it, we've all been doing this for more than five years at least. So there's a surprising lack of communication because they're like it's their department, they'll take care of it. And more or less, unless there's a problem, each team has a ridiculous amount of autonomy. And the people who run the teams are allowed to do pretty much anything they want as long as there's not a bit of problem and then if there is, then it's just disgust but the teams run themselves. Well, and frankly, we've been doing this for so long. It used to be, we do three or four conference calls during pre-planning to make sure we were communicating and organizing and everybody knew what they were going to be doing. We had one this year which was like, okay, this department, yep, got it, got it, okay, well everybody, I mean we've done this for so long it's almost down to an algorithm like calling for garbage that it just, it happens almost organically at this point. The other thing we've taken into consideration too is this is a family. I can't stress enough how this is community driven and we all know each other, we all work a lot of us are competitors with each other professionally, but it's one of those people that you pick up with phone and you go, hey dude, I need this. You may have not talked to that person since the last DEFCON and instantaneously they'll be on it. I mean we all operate together as a team. I understand, we start off with a project tracking tool, Basecamp, most of you know that. We start off with that, we have emails that go crazy and if you really get confusion a phone call will happen. We all have each other's cell phone numbers. We've seen Basecamp in what, October? There's a large meeting at DTC in Davos. Davos, yeah. And any other questions before we, we might, so the people that can stay here for Q&A will go into the Q&A room, I'm not sure if that's any more. You know we could just run over, I mean no. You heard it here first. Any other questions? Yes, a thousand times. Thanks for coming DEFCON. Thank you. See you again.