 Founder no Because that would be Hey friends, this is Dan Burke You're watching behind the scenes Divine intimacy radio. No Stephanie has not been fired and replaced By the woman sitting across from me, but I'll introduce you to her in a minute. Stephanie's we just got back from Because our first job a godparent gig Which is pretty neat seeing a little Zachary Oh gosh my brain herring little Zachary herring Son of Ashley and JP herring shout out to them and it's their third child and We got the third gig for godparents So it was kind of cool because South Carolina's where we were Stephanie's still there. So she's hanging out They went picking blackberries yesterday and she has more ideas for the retreat center about Blackberry picking, you know but Anyway, blueberries black anyway berries some kind. So anyway, she's still there today's show we're gonna talk about just one woman's journey deeper into the heart of God and a little bit about community and community life and The difference it can make because we have very difficult times a lot of people are asking how do I deal with this? You know my parish is wacky You know, there's wacky things happening, you know, we had this We had this priest who was taken out of ministry recently because of serial homosexual behavior and then He shows up as a pastor of a church a year later and know we're like how do people deal with this crazy stuff, you know, so But we're not focused on that stuff and we'll talk about that because it doesn't help us anyway Grow near the Lord. So we're gonna talk about How do kind of a Benedict option sort of living it in a reality, right? How do you how do you follow in the footsteps of the great monastics of the church who escaped the corruption by pulling back a little bit out of the normal life living and then Becoming strong spiritually and creating a context within which we can do that and then entering re-entering into Into Into the world in helping, you know, and then we're treating back and re-entry So we'll talk about that in a minute with our guest Heather Vakola I've been saying your name wrong for years now. I think But I asked her right before the show. How do I say your name, right? She told me so now I've been close though, right? Yes indeed. Yeah, not too acceptably like hand grenades and horseshoes. It's good. It's always good So we'll do that for Divine Intimacy radio before we get started. I want to tell you about something you can't miss You cannot miss this one of the things that's happening in our time That everyone needs to understand every serious Christian needs to understand the spiritual warfare And if you're not engaged in the battle, and if you don't have your sword You are a victim, right? So we do a lot in our organization Abola Institute of Possibly VA To try to help equip you with the wisdom of the saints regarding spiritual warfare And we have a summit coming up July 15th to the 17th. We're sold out on Physical seating, right? Or is it close? We're pretty close, but about 500 you can still come if you want Physically be there. Yeah, but yeah, we're we're moving on to Offering virtual seats as well, right? So it's at Catholic University of America, correct July 15th through the 17th with some of the best Mines and hearts engage in spiritual warfare in the church Bishop Strickland everybody knows him who's a faithful Catholic father McManus a lot of people don't know him But I will say though. I'm surrounded by excellent teachers and speakers A McManus is the best speaker I've ever heard and I and I and I I've heard all the best Most interesting most powerful most humorous most clear. I mean he is just Extraordinary, but he's like a hidden treasure. He's been teaching an academic realm for decades. Yes He now helps us with the high calling program To help men prepare men for seminary, but he also had a hand in The right, you know even creating the new right of exorcism or editing or fixing it I don't I'd have to ask him sometime, but working with Pope Benedict Monsignor Rosetti who wrote the book Diary of an American Exorcist Kathleen Beckman who heads up the the The deliverance ministry for the diocese of orange in California Stephanie and I so it's going to be power-packed and you can get Virtual tickets or regular tickets. We want to be there in person. We do have a few seats left But then virtual tickets because we're anticipating selling out here any minute Through spiritual direction comm forward slash event so you can watch it live online, right? So right and then they'll have access to the recording afterwards. Yes. Yeah, okay All right, I think we're ready to start the show. You ready and your markets it go. Oh, just so you know Yes, because you've never been a guest before I haven't we go 12 and a half minute one segments 12 and a half or 13 The next one has if it's 13 on the first it has to be 12 and a half in the second So you can glance at this I'll generally manage the time. Great Okay, and your markets it go. This is Dan Burke. You're listening to Divine intimacy radio your radio haven of rest and Stephanie usually says Your hermitage of the heart and then I say your monastery of the mind where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw on the wisdom of the saints to help us to Successfully navigate the tumult and challenges of this life things are getting darker We need to draw near to Jesus and I have a guest with me today Who has agreed to come on and share her journey a bit with you? Her name is Heather Bocola and Heather joined us. How long ago did you join us at the Avala Institute August? 2021 August 2021 and She has done a great deal for us and helping us get our operations in line But I want to talk to her more about not that role but about her journey and share it with you because I think sometimes We talk ideas and abstract things I think personal testimony can really help to bring things home in a way that you can't get to when you're talking concepts, you know separate from experience So we don't have to mention Where to protect the guilty and the innocent you were part of a community before yes, you ran into a possibly VA How did you find a possibly VA? I found a possibly VA because I was helping young adult women friends of my daughters and And really come to know Jesus and I felt that I needed to be better prepared in that role Yeah, and so I had heard about the spiritual direction program and That was really my entrance in so the spiritual direction program is a is called the it's called Heart of Christ founded by Jeanette Arbricain and Tisa Fleming. Yes, and we work with them at the Avala Institute We teach a handful of courses online and then People have to do some in-person work mainly because we want to make sure we're not releasing Crazies out into the world and that's right people are well-formed But so you entered into the Heart of Christ spiritual direction program now before we talk about that you said Helping young women to come to know Jesus. Yes. No, these Catholic women agnostic women Catholic women mainly Catholic women You know, I raised my daughters in the faith praise God and we were part of a homeschool group and When my daughters reached their 20s mid-20s and they moved away Their friends that were still local Would reach out to me at times just to talk about you know being a Catholic woman in the world Yeah, and so I started guiding them and having conversations with them and just felt that I wanted to Be as well-formed as I could be to help them on their journey So at that time you were working for courage correct is an awesome Absolutely extraordinary ministry. Yes, and you're teaching for Holy Apostle Seminary. Yes, and so these women would reach out to you I totally get why they would you have a very I Don't know a strong maternal spirit about you I think anyone who meets you can instantly knows that you care about souls, you know to be honest There's no surface with you. It's all a little bit deeper. So you had success in that Yes, but you went to heart of Christ and then kind of how did that lead you to a possibly being well I was speaking to a dear friend of mine father Paul check Oh, yeah, and good friend of both of ours loved him He suggested that I reach out to you. Okay to find out more about the program. Okay because my concern was would Would women be open to seeing a lay spiritual director? Yeah, and that was the first question. I asked you Yeah, and we talked about Jan Terenowski and how he guided Pope John Paul yeah before he ever was even a priest. Yeah, and that really inspired me awesome awesome I think his causes advancing slowly I think so as causes do but yeah a lot of people don't know that John Paul first spiritual director was a Taylor and he was a Carmelite and he really led John Paul into Carmelite spirituality, which of course Transformed him and and made him into who who he was for all the good that he did so You and I had that conversation. Did you call me? I don't remember I did call you I was Father check gave me your cell number and I said I'm not comfortable calling Dan Burke And he said well, here's his email. So I sent you an email and you said, oh, here's my number call me So we had a wonderful conversation you were very supportive and encouraging and so I started with the Avila prerequisite classes For the heart of Christ program and I teach three of the four of you do yes, right? And you're gonna be teaching one of them you're gonna be taking over teaching one of those courses I am I'm very excited. I can't wait introduction to spiritual directions We'll be teaching for the Avila Institute sometimes so you graduated the program. When did you get directly involved with the possibly VA? so you talked about it a few times in the fall of 2018 and I Was sort of wrestling with whether or not I wanted to go in that direction again. Yeah, and in January of 2019. I actually found myself Homesick from work for a few days and was looking for something to do and thought well, let me check this out and And the rest as they say is history. So apostoleva.org is where you went to check it out. That's right Okay, and then you checked it out. Why why did why did you join? Let's jump to that I mean what or maybe yeah, what was compelling. Why did you decide to say? Well, I'm gonna do this because you'd been a part of a community that had some issues and yes That was disciplined by the church. And so that causes, you know Reluctance. Yes. Why did you decide to jump in with a possibly VA? I did I made that decision because at that point both of my daughters had moved out of the house. Um, I was Really enjoying my work with courage But as a as a single woman, I was struggling to find a place Most of my friends were married and this isn't to say they weren't welcoming I mean, everyone was always very welcoming to me at family gatherings and things and I have dear friends in Connecticut Who invited me to come to their home for Sunday dinner every Sunday. We share all those friendships Yes, we do and I just was trying to find where I fit And so I found the community and I found out you were having Formation every other Saturday the second and the fourth Saturday. Yeah, and I jumped right on So the second Saturday in January of 2019, okay? I was on and I missed one since that time because I was on vacation And well, and you even taught one with with another member of the community when I was out What was I running around? So you were Israel? Yeah, that's right. So you did that recently. So you You saw it online. You kind of read about it. You decided well, let's let's do the The formation second for Saturday by the way, I talk about it just everybody knows what it is It's a private association of the faithful and our mission Apostles VA means apostles of the way, you know the way Jesus said I'm the way the truth in the life so we're we're living apostolically according to his teaching in his life basically and Our mission is to live the contemplative life Which means a commitment to prayer and mental prayer and a ceaseless, which is self purposeful self-giving and self-denial and To light the way to others which we do in our Apostles like the Aval Institute or this show Or where we're saying hey, there's you know, there's a beautiful path for you Whatever it may be if we can help you find it even if it's not us and Then to personally eating guide others which I imagine connected with you because that's Where your heart was that's the entry way into You know through heart of Christ. Yeah avala then a possibly VA was leading others Yeah, tell me a little bit about that desire of your heart It's hard to be Catholic in the world today. Yeah, and I really found You know, I teach my work at holy Apostles. I teach undergraduate students. I just always have been very connected to Younger adults that are really struggling to find their way in the faith You know, it's so important for our time that we build up you know these these young adults because we need them and More than that they need the faith to survive in today's world. I totally agree with you so The heart to serve younger people the desire for community Tell me about the impact of a possibly VA on you How you know and as you describe it, of course thinking about people watching who are You know struggling with day-to-day Catholic life Maybe they go to mass every Sunday, but feeling disconnected Maybe because of the scandals in the church or just the lack of Catholic culture How what's it? How does it help you? How do you see it? Like how would you describe it? So, um, you know The online formation is great, but one of the things that Happened in Connecticut almost immediately upon my entrance was You were able to connect me with someone in Connecticut who was also a member of the community and so she and I met for coffee like almost immediately And started talking about bringing you here to Connecticut For an event And so in the process of doing that we actually Formed a small group in Connecticut and we connected with a bunch of other people And so now all of a sudden you're not trying to live with the faith on your own You're living the faith with a group of people who understand what you're doing They're traveling the same narrow path as you And they really helped to support you So now you have people you can phone with questions or prayer requests or, you know, just to sometimes talk about, you know the difficulties of your heart and really doing that Re-energized me so that the work that I was doing with the young people It just it became more vibrant and helpful to them. Awesome. So you You met with a local small group what we call a gospel encounter group. It's not new to us Opus day does it Reagan Christi does it there are many groups that do it and it's very smart to do because You get together. Well, how often were you guys meeting? Was it every other week or every week? Actually, when we first got started we were meeting once a month. Okay Because We also had the whole COVID thing in the middle of that and so we were trying to sort everything out When we were finally able to meet in person. We started meeting once a month and then Actually in the process of my coming down here. The group is pretty well exploded in Connecticut. So yeah, I think I believe they're meeting weekly now Yeah, that's great. The more often they can meet the better weekly is, you know, everyone has schedule issues, but What's interesting is You know, of course the the church started with a small group of men around Jesus And I think there's something to that and we can it's become much more much bigger and more complex for better or worse, but I think that uh to really grow spiritually you've got to be face to face with other people Who look across from you and say It's all real, right? And you say yes, and you say it's all real, right? And they say yes, and and it's all worth it, right? Yes, God be praised and and you encourage one another and you fight together and all of that good stuff So we get back from the break. We'll keep talking about How it is that we can live in this difficult time And face it well, I think with and strengthen one another through community life So we'll be right back So we'll go like 1245 13 ish something like the 1245 Ish Okay, so before we jump back in folks. I wanted to tell you about another opportunity We're going to be starting a new It's not really a book study even though it says book study as the url If the producer could flash it up on the screen But essentially We're going to open up something we haven't opened up before We have hundreds of people that show up second and fourth saturdays for formation And the reason they show up and they show up from all over the world Singapore, canada, new zealand, australia We have one of the one of our community members visiting for about a month here at the retreat center from australia But if you are looking for something more if you are tired of kind of shallow Catholicism that doesn't demand much or offer much It's a it's a real opportunity for you. We're going to start this Or a september ish The dates yet to be nailed down spiritualdirection.com forward slash book study And we're going to be going through introduction to the devout life. And if you want to order that I I strongly suggest you go to Apostoliva.org and then click on the shop button and that's a local apostolate in memphis And if you're in the united states, uh, they can easily get things to you if you're outside the united states You might have to do something through online, but we're using the book published by tan Which is called introduction to the devout life by saint francis stales And I promise you I have no doubt The the study will be transformational. It's no cost And uh, you'll also be given opportunity to also take advantage of other free. It's all free You'll never be uh charged or or you'll never be confronted with a fee. There's no secret fees anywhere It's all to be given away, which is what jesus told us to do anyway So check that out spiritualdirection.com Forward slash book study to sign up And then we'll send you an email when it's all up and running and and we get moving again And you will be very blessed. Let's head back into the show On you. Oh, you know what one last thing I want to tell you about If you struggle with suffering and you want to know about the christian meeting of suffering um You'll study the apostolic letter selvi selvi feat g delores Taught by simone riscala who's a A really a special woman my wife loves her to death Um at from endow education on the nature and dignity of women. It's a beautiful apostolate Um, but uh, don't miss that course. It starts Tuesday july 5th simone is really something special fire the holy spirit speaking of that We have another woman who's just a rock star Who's teaching living uh at the hand of the lord life and thought of st. Edith stein Dr. Elizabeth mitchell also just top shelf extraordinary professor july 8th so Lots happening at the avala institute avala dash institute.org if you want to learn and grow in the interior life Okay on your mark get set go. This is dan burk. Welcome back to divine intimacy radio your radio haven of rest and we're here with our special guest heather vocola and we're talking about her journey into and and through community life The community of apostolate va is the one we're talking about And you can find that out at apostolate va.org the producer will Flash on on the screen for those listening to the watching the live stream Um, so We talked about your heart serve women. You went to this heart of christ spiritual direction school and then that We got more deeply introduced through father paul check but also the courses because I taught three courses you took yes And then you started you you got sick. You were checking out the community What what was compelling to you is because you looked on the website Yeah Just knowing that that there was a place to go that was not like facebook because I had gotten off of social media Me too two years plus now And you know the people were very welcoming And you know the conversation was uplifting There wasn't any bashing And and one another just genuinely cared about each other on this website and I thought I need to meet these people Who are these people Well, and we have a kind of a rule on the website Not a kind of a rule. That's just a funny way of saying it. We have very clear guidelines And that is we're not here to bash bishops or priests. We're not here to focus That we don't hide from the problems in the church. We're not here to focus on those We're here to ask and answer the question. How do I give the entirety of who I am to jesus? How do I know the peace and joy that he's promised? How do I know how to be reconciled to god? How do I help others to do the same which is a big part of your heart? So you you joined a small local group In connecticut and you said that group is exploded and I love the word because our small groups are exploding So we're not an online community. We just do centralized online formation second and fourth saturdays and then there's all kinds of resources on the website produced by me and others On how to grow more deeply in this in the interior life and grow near the lord And the what I like exploded is we have a full-time person who's over small groups And we're going to have about a hundred small groups by the end of this year. Praise god, right? And these are just people learning to follow jesus we the basic design of our small groups is Based on st. John of the crosses admonition, which was not complicated Basically said if you want to grow in the interior life, you really want to make serious progress. He said this in the ascent of mel karmel His book on the ascent of mel karmel. He said you must study the life of jesus And you must emulate him and you must grow to love him That's what small groups are there to do. Yes. Did you experience that in the small group? How did that work out for you? Absolutely. Um, it really encouraged me to Be serious about my my daily mental prayer. Yeah, and To now you weren't a slacker Well, no, I mean, I wasn't a slacker. I like to do devotionals, okay But the idea of really digging into scripture reading scripture studying the life of jesus That was a gift that I really got through Through apostolate va, okay You know and taking that seriously and and struggling through, you know, some of those scripture passages that you're like I don't understand how this applies to me. Yeah But to continue to do it regularly on a daily basis And it's true. You don't know the faith unless you know jesus and you don't know jesus unless you study his words And his scripture exactly. Yeah, you know, it's just like how if you think about the first century How did how did people get to know jesus? I mean the other day I was looking for Stephanie And and I can't remember where we were but oh, we were in israel And there was an adoration chapel nearby And I'm like, where did she go? and then Oh Well, of course, where's jesus? That's where I'm gonna find Stephanie. Where is jesus? Where's heather? Where's jesus? Yeah, right? Especially at certain times of the day. Yeah So it helps you in that way. What else about The apostolate b.a. Community was helpful to you I would say accountability And the reason for that is not because we You know say anything negative about people when they don't do their commitments, but just to know that i'm part of a larger community who wants to be serious about you know our commitments of Mental prayer and daily examine and and to have to say that out loud Did I did I make that time for jesus? And build up my community in that way was very helpful, you know, it's interesting Some people aren't joiners. I remember one of our community members diana von glanz. I'm not a joiner. She's awesome And but has been helped tremendously as well. And I think sometimes people fear the intimacy Um But what you've discovered is community life is perfect. You never injure one another. You never frustrate one another exactly No That's not it. No, there is there's hardship in community life. Yeah, and One of the things that we have in our our prayer book is a prayer called Against division in apostolate b.a. In the church and I pray this prayer with my housemate every single morning and You know, we we pray for greater unity, but we also pray to accept The difficulties, you know, we're all human. We're gonna make mistakes. We're all broken. We're gonna, you know Mistreat or or, you know, not intentionally of course or miscommunicate And and that's gonna cause hurt Um, but we need to come together As a community and work through these things. Yeah. Yeah that prayer against unity I think folks can find it on the apostolate b.a.org website in the blog area. I think do you know, I I don't know I'm sorry. Why don't you read it for them? I think it's worth reading. What do you think? Sure? I'm happy to read it. Okay. This is in she's reading out of the prayer book for those that are given to those who make What we call first at least first promises When we all pray in common and we pray certain prayers every day together and this is one of them Lord protect us protect our families protect the church and protect apostolate b.a And always serve from sins of gossip Detraction Calmini and factions Help us to always assume the best of the actions and intentions of others Especially when wounded by them Remind us always to seek to see your healing and redemptive work In and through the frailties of those around us Rather than allowing the enemy to suggest accusations against others Help us to reject a spirit of criticism And embrace the best possible interpretation Of their actions attitudes and decisions When we are tempted to criticize others remind us that it was satan in his sin of pride Who believed he should be in the place of god Help us to reject the suggestion of the enemy that we could do better if we were in the place of another May we by your example and grace reject the sin of pride and narcissism That would have us criticize judge and condemn rather than humbly serve Incline our hearts to habitually speak well of and through our love and aid Make up for the weaknesses of others Help us to guard our minds and tongues from negativity and criticism That we would always assume and speak the best of others And avoid the fire of gossip and negativity that destroys unity and threatens to send us to hell By your grace give us the ability to love others as you have loved us To forgive others as you have forgiven us and to be a source of peace and redemption For our families our community the church and the world Amen I love that prayer, you know Some somebody could be listening with a critical spirit and think yeah, but what about these, you know Lousy things going on in the church. This this isn't to hide any Any abuse, you know, this isn't to hide Things that should be dealt with I mean we deal with issues, right? Yes. Absolutely. We don't cover them over But what it does is it gets us into a position of How do I help the other? Become holy and how do I become more holy because of the brokenness of the other And that's necessary for community because everyone Of us is broken and needs the redemption of Jesus. Every one of us is a sinner Though good In in terms of our essence We need to draw near to him. Tell me for those listening If you were to I don't know this is on the spot. So, you know Why should anyone check it out? I mean if they're not yet convinced or Or or don't think maybe it's not for them or they're not a joiner What would you say to somebody who's sitting back going, you know, I like what I'm hearing But gosh, you know to risk, right? Well, what I would say To that is, you know, if we look back in the bible at the acts of the apostles We see, um, you know, christians coming together to support one another, you know, you keep your individual autonomy You know, you you continue to work your job live in your family and you know It's it's an opportunity For you to connect deeper with jesus through people who You know Believe what you believe and who actually Have the same charism as you and it really I was moved by the benedict option years ago I mean, there's some issues with it. It's not a perfect idea of book But it as it reflects on what happened in the early church and and what has gone well in the church When culture has gotten so corrupt it's been normal for people to pull back Out of the culture strengthen one another get solid in the face so that not not so that we're We go put our heads in the sand not at all so that we enter back in with strength That's totally what I hear and what you're saying Is you you were feeling a little disconnected couldn't quite make it work You entered in with people awesome people who are all broken to Right all together but fighting for living for the lord Then you're reinvigorated in your spiritual life strengthened and then you go out and that's a constant process, right? It's online meetings for group formation on the charism and the way we live the charism And then local meetings that really take us I think deeper into relationship with one another and experiencing god in the other. Is that a good description? You think absolutely. Yeah, so check it out. It's at apostoleva.org one way if you want to get your toe in the water And check out who these weird people are You can go we don't do weird though. Do we no no weird no weird broken, but not weird, right? spiritualdirection.com Slash book study and we'll be doing we'll be offering for the first time Opening it up without having to be a member of the website to anyone and everyone We have hundreds of people who already show up from all around the world. It's kind of interesting priests religious lady which I love the having the priest and the religious in with the lady And uh, we're going to dive into introduction to the devout life starting here soon And you don't have to worry if you came if you come in in the middle or when what the timing is If you hear this show at a certain time We may have you know, you may listen to an older show and you didn't know about it It'll always be going on second and fourth saturday until you know, hopefully the end of until jesus comes back Amen, whether i'm leading it or you're leading it or somebody else is leading it But spiritualdirection.com forward slash book study or go to apostoleva apo st o li vi a e dot o work To learn more and uh, regardless of whether you join apostoleva. I I promise you we will help you To draw more deeply to jesus and draw more deeply to The mysteries of the faith the heart of god and it will give you strength To continue in the challenges we all face in this life And until next time may the god of peace make you perfect in holiness may he preserve you whole and entire Spirit soul spirit soul and body irreproachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ