 Welcome everyone to my talk. My name is Ashok and I am currently working in SoundCloud as the senior vice president of product and growth. I have around 15 plus years of experience in product management. I worked in a variety of different environments, late stage, early stages, product and business model transformations, traditional industries such as media and music, and regulatory industries as well. So I'm not saying I have seen it all, but my biggest realization is that instead of consciously adapting to each environment, what actually worked is a certain set of principles and values I let myself guided by. And that's what I'm going to share with you today. And apologies for my voice. I just came out of a cold and sickness. So, all right. So, all sorts of cubes, huh? Imagine if you have three different colored cubes and you do something to them, the same thing, maybe, you know, flick it or kick it or whatever it is, right? The blue one expands the red contracts and the yellow changes its direction. They all have different inherent characteristics. Knowing them helps us understand what they will turn out to when constraints are applied constraints are nothing but what you do to them. So we PMs and humans have those inherent values that shapes our day to day. Knowing them isn't enough, but honing and shaping them over years will make us excellent versions of ourselves. Predictability isn't the focus, just so you know. The focus here are those values we live by. As we progress in our careers, we will encounter uncontrollable factors like constraints, cultures and even people. For product managers, it's crucial to develop emotional intelligence or EQ alongside hard skills. Possessing only hard skills is a fallacy, to be honest. And the practical skills highlighted in this talk will empower product managers to excel. By embracing the skills, PMs can navigate the profession very confidently. And just so you know, I acknowledge that it's a really, really tough job. And that's why this talk exists. Also, assume that before you be heading to this conversation, I assume that you have only your hard skills. You cannot get by without having hard skills, just full stop, right? So you know the difference between scaling a product versus finding product market fit, for example. Or you know your market, you know your company's place in it and your goals and KPIs. Having said that, there you go, a good visual and octopus. So humans have invented wheels. We smelted iron and we passed it on down to generations. Which led to a complex system like a car today, you know, wheels, of course, gears. Dr. Paz, on the other hand, has to figure out everything all by herself. All over again, every generation. There's no improving or building on previous solutions, even with nine brains. So what made us different as a species? Anyone? It's collectivism. So collectivism or working together as a civilization. But then humans are so, so, so subjective. Anyone wants some today's philosophy drop, if you will. I'm just saying I like philosophy a lot. Anyway, I'm going to give it. Which is humans cannot achieve pure objectivity because our very existence and actions in this world makes us subjective observers. Why? Well, to be purely objective, we have to observe without influencing the world, the world we live in. But it is impossible since existence itself is an action. So to truly become objective, we have to temporarily seize existing, observe in a non-existing state, and then resume existence, which is not possible. You cannot change states from being existing and non-existing, right? Therefore, humans are inherently subjective due to our influence on the world around us. So the best in the rest of us, no matter how much we try to be purely objective, it is not possible. And yet we spend a huge amount of time in our careers to the quest of an objective decision. Well, I'm not saying that this quest are worthless. They have served us and will continue to serve us. But when I talk to a random PM, I often get a sense that they operate in a world of objectivity. Or at least, you know, have the illusion of it. And anything false short puts them in a place of discomfort and ambiguity. And that's basically not a really good place to be in. Lastly, to drive the point home. I mean, of course, you've probably seen this, you know, code everywhere. We cannot escape subjectivity. Why? Because there are humans. And when there are humans, there will be subjectivity. So how do we crack the code of human subjectivity in a world where we all strive to become objective? Before we talk about how we solve for subjectivity, let's talk a few dimensions of our emotional being. Because at the end of the day, what composes, what makes us is emotions and thoughts and feelings. And so this is a model that's proposed by Emotional Intelligence Trading Company. You can read up about it. It's called EQI model. So and I'll also post about it in my LinkedIn post very soon, right after this talk. I'll take you through the EQ composite here very quickly so that you can label some of the skills you may need while going through this presentation and some examples I give. So let's take the first one. Self-perception. Self-perception is composed of three things. Self-regard, self-actualization, self-awareness. Self-regard is respecting oneself and knowing one's strengths and weaknesses. If we don't know one's strengths and weaknesses and embrace what's the best and what's the worst in us, then we will not have self-regard and self-esteem. There will not be confident. Self-actualization, it is persistently trying to improve oneself. Self-explanatory. Self-awareness, recognizing and understanding one's own emotions, where they come up, where we get triggered, what we feel during that situation, right? So this is very important to know who you are. So self-perception is very important. Self-expression is basically being able to express one's emotions with words, verbal, non-verbal, right? It's composed of three things. Emotional expression, assertiveness and independence. So emotional expression is verbal and non-verbal openness or expression so that you can clearly explain what you're feeling, you know, not just what you're thinking, right? Assertiveness, communicating your feelings, beliefs and thoughts openly without feeling worried about it, without being judged, right? It's kind of related to, you know, self-regard a little bit. And then independence, ability to be self-directed without emotional dependence on others. Interpersonal is another aspect and it's composed of three things, which is one is skills to develop and maintain mutually satisfying relationships with other people. The other is empathy, I mean ability to have empathy and understanding what someone else is going through and why. And then once willingness to contribute to society, also known as greater good, social responsibility. So there's three things composed of like how we live in a society, how we work with others. Decision making is dependent on the ability to solve problems. But again, this is not just generic problem solving. It's basically understanding how emotions play a role in decision making, not objectivity, subjectivity. Reality testing, basically knowing what is real, reading the room. I think you have heard this phrase, you know, everywhere, read the room. What it means is just to understand, like, you know, although there's something called factual, what's one's reaction towards the fact, whether people believe it or not, what people's incentives are, what drives them, what motivations they have, right? So that's called reality testing. And then impulse control is basically being able to control one's impulse. Something to note here is that if you have low impulse control and high emotional expression, what happens? You will say whatever comes to your mind, right? So these are also things that interplay among each other. And okay, so lastly, the stress management part, stress management comprises of being flexible. One is to adapt to, you know, their emotions, thoughts and actions to unfamiliar situations. Being able to tolerate and cope with stress. I mean, that's not like a magic wand that you can reveal. It needs practice, it needs a lot of training, a lot of, like, you know, meditation, breathing exercises, and you can read up about how to cope with stress. And optimism, optimism, I mean, self-explanatory, but just to label it, being able to see positive outcomes and learnings from any situation and setbacks, right? So these five things are super important and those composites under them for you to understand how to navigate yourself, right? Now, let's talk a little bit about these five practical PM eigenvalues that I wanted to share with you. The five key characteristics that will drive you through multiple different, you know, environments, so that you become a solid, solid PM. All right, the first one, effectiveness over being right. So being the first bencher in the class, I always wanted to be right. Even, you know, if I'm right or not, doesn't matter, I always want to be right. This takes immense energy, like constructing the argument, sometimes pontificate. At the end of the day, sometimes being right takes one nowhere. In a job long, long ago, I faced a situation where my team had superior technology and have built out a product far better than another team. I mean, sounds familiar, right? Like big companies, it happens all the time, duplicative work. It drove me nuts to know that the work was duplicative. And then the other team did not have the expertise. I was young and a bit naive, but driven. So I gave it all to defend my product, my team built marquee use cases, even provided a demo for our CEO to give a CES keynote, putting it out there. I thought I was closer to the finishing line that my team will be building all such experiences in the company going forward, but their reality ended really differently. The other team continued to build a product with less finesse. My team continued to push forward our agenda. And in a few months, I got laid off, right? Looking back, I should have worked with the key members of the other team to build interpersonal relationships patiently, like trying to figure out what's making them tick, what's driving their product roadmap, why leadership is okay to have this duplicative work, right? I should have reduced my emotional expression with some impulse control. I was so mad at the time that this was duplicative. We are doing all the right things. I voiced my opinion. I voiced my opinion in multiple different corridors. Person on one-on-one, in group settings, which is not good. Especially when things didn't make any sense, right? Of course, like we want to express, right? But having the impulse control was needed. And then solve the problem with the other team together, despite my manager's so-called rivalry with the head of the other team. So these kind of things which we may label as something that not ideal happens all the time. So the thing that we can control is us. So in this whole thing, I felt like being effective was perhaps better than being right. You may have come across this diagram. I think a combination of being effective and right is always good. It makes you a leader, right? In the quest of becoming a leader, I noticed that most of us over-index and being right and fall into the murder category. So don't be a murderer. Skills needed here, as I mentioned, interpersonal skills is very important. Empathy to understand others' point of view, impulse control, especially when folks argue with you, emotional problem solving, knowing your stakeholders and how they make decisions emotionally, right? So you can do some research on these skills, because all our parts of learning are very different, but these are very important skills here. Some hot tips. So develop relationships and not projects. So you may think about a certain thing that, oh, yeah, with this team, I'll just do a project and call it a day. No, these people exist in a company. You never know when these people will come and help you or work with you or move over to your team, right? So always important to develop relationships. Try and understand some, why some people are thinking in a certain way, which is slightly different than you. More so than less, you realize that actually they have a point and you are not always right. Express your concerns, but in a way that's balanced by reality testing and not driven by impulse, which I shared with you, right? This next one is very important. Identify incentives and deterrence of each stakeholder. I always keep, especially when I do a new job, I keep an Excel sheet with people's names and personal information and what are the things that motivates them? What are the things that they get excited by? I mean, it sounds a little bit like Stanish, but you have to stand your stakeholders. You have to follow up and figure out who they are and why they are that way. It's almost like psychology, reading a person. Above all, know that it's the outcome you seek to achieve and not the best optimized journey. That's very important. All right. The next one, storytelling skill over data pulling skill. This is a controversial one. So in a scale company long, long ago, I had the fortune to work with the best minds. During a product review, a PM colleague enthusiastically said, our product should conform to the convexity of marginal utility. The room of close to 30 people or so paused for a quick minute and everyone moved on after that. The PM felt very, very crestfallen. I could see it in their body language. So I reached out to them next day and in our one-on-one, they showed me a very, very complex SQL query, almost two-page long. I didn't know what was going on and after five minutes of running the query, the PM showed me some data on a segment of users. The more the user product, the more invested they were, the segment of users, the more invested they were, the more data they put in, and the product got better with each use. Basically, the concept behind convexity of marginal utility. To simply put it, the product gets better with each use. It's a common economics concept, not so common with a roomful of people who didn't take ECON 101. I followed up with the PM on this topic gently and I found out that this behavior was rewarded heavily in their former company. After I found out that the company they worked in was built by ECON 101 people and recent college grads. Such concepts are so fresh in their minds, right? So you use these concepts to talk to each other as shorthands. However, it doesn't work in a large company with people from different diverse backgrounds. So don't be this PM. You may know data pulling economics like the back of your hand, but that will not help you besides feeling knowledgeable. I mean, that's it. This trade can help you get some cash in the early part of your career, as I mentioned, but as you become a leader, you have to talk to a variety of people who may not know these concepts, but they may know something else that you don't know. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that storytelling is super important over any other hard skill. All the hard skill, all the data you collected, collected, all the arguments you made in your head will go for a toss if you don't articulate in a very succinct but also very interesting way. So some practical tips. Run your pitch by chat GPD. I'm not kidding. Ask it, prompt it to explain it to your pitch to a seven or nine-year-old. It will simplify the language. Think about a story arc. For example, a hero's journey or antagonistic contrarian. You can read up on all these storytelling arcs and techniques and framing. So this will help you a lot. Work with a product marketing manager before you pitch your product idea. One of the techniques I really love is Amazon's working backward and press release format. And then read the room, as I said again, figure out what your stakeholder cares about. Third one, collectivism over individuality. So remember, octopus. Don't be an octopus. In one of my jobs, a colleague in a cross-functional role was tasked with a launch. Imagine what a new product launch could be. Lock steps, sequences, approvals, reviews. It takes a village. However, my colleague wanted to flesh the whole project all by themselves. They had reasons to believe they launched a product, a new product in a 10-person company. And successfully. So why not? So what do you all think happened? There was radio silence for 10 days. We all received a 40-page plan from my colleague meticulously detailed and thought through. But it took 10 days to build that. No one made the next move. No one knew who should own what parts of it. It was all a mess. Even though their ideas were stellar, they couldn't get any buy-in, let alone execution. This is particularly important for road mapping as well. It's not the spreadsheet, all the columns of impact, effort. But the process of working with each other to figure out what the priorities are is the key. That's how you get buy-ins, and that's how you get 10x ideas from others. So some tips to work collectively. First of all, work on your self-regard. You should know your strengths and weaknesses. This won't build you up or pull you down, but will bring you to a place of inner confidence. The place that is so stable that you're willing to let go of your own ideas, making way for others. Stress tolerance. It won't be easy for the first benchers. Yours truly, for example me. So figure out ways to cope with it. My personal one, in a meeting that stresses me out, I start making two columns in my note that. One is one on my thoughts and the other one on my feelings. No filters. Trust me, there'll be a lot of expertise depending on what kind of person you are. And then I realize that doing this many a time, this is very similar to therapy. So reading these columns later, I feel that most often than not, I was overreacting. I was trying to be right. Again, ego, ego, ego. Demonstrate social responsibility. That you care about the team, that the outcomes of the company, that you care about the outcomes and the company through actions and also by letting go of your own ideas. Just merely speaking about it won't help you, but you have to like demonstrate through your actions how you care about others and the greater good. This will help you establish trust in your team as well as foster this behavior in the team itself. Progress over perfection. In one role, I had the oddly satisfying job of fixing our company's infrastructure because we were heading towards some sort of certification. So in that process, I had to look at three aspects. Security, scalability and observability. Big words. Stay with me. So I started off in the right foot, but I took way too much time to come up with a high level plan or the strawman for folks to fill the gaps. In a previous slide, you may have remembered my colleague who took 10 days to write a plan. I even went ahead and started looking at DevOps processes, which was good, but so unnecessary in this context. This led to an engineering manager taking things into their own heads and eventually led to some ego clash between us, which was not good. So many mistakes. Trying to be perfect, not being able to deal with collectivism. So besides learning from this experience, I observed that the most frequent place where a PM makes this mistake is... Well, can anyone tell me? Yes, it's onboarding. Onboarding into a new role. The typical 30, 60, 90 day of onboarding is very, very theoretical. I have never seen a single company giving 30 days time to listen, learn, and observe before taking actions. I'm not saying it's wrong, but it's not that sequential and 30 days is way too much time. You can listen, learn, and observe, and take action and still contribute at the same time. So some tips. Take a mile-wide and inch-deep approach for when you explore a new area. Remember, no one assumes you to become an expert in a single day, nor people keep receipts of how optimized their decision actions are. People will remember that you took an action no matter what it is. While onboarding, make sure you ask your colleagues who to talk to, what to read, but most importantly, ask if there's any small tasks you can do to help them. Share early drafts with folks, always, always, even if you label them in progress. When you make edits, let them know what changed. This is super important. Always pick a few things in your sprint that are quick wins. Yes, this doesn't conform to the traditional impact effort and some such framework for prioritization, but the perception of progress is really, really underrated. Lastly, this process can be very stressful. So make sure you have coping mechanisms in place to help your inner perfectionist. Try and make sure your personal biases are in check, aren't clouding your reality. Sometimes being a perfectionist is an illusion. Sometimes we are just wrong and we don't know it. And always remind yourself that it's for greater good. Number five and the last one, brevity over details. So some of us and yours truly again are notorious for our pensions to go deep. Great virtue to delve into rabbit holes, gather all knowledge and expertise, the world benefits from the simulation of that and not from the regurgitation of the information. However, many of us make this common mistake. I just made a mistake. I just said a really, really long sentence here, right? So just because we don't have the knowledge doesn't mean that we have to share everything, right? That we have to display everything. We should use that knowledge to be effective. So story time, I had a PM in my team. They were an expert in their field. However, being an expert was actually a problem with them. They couldn't get along with others. And then the worst was that they conflated most problems and couldn't compartmentalize issues. They will always interrupt others and mention about problems that are related somehow but are not relevant for that conversation, right? So when I shared the feedback, they didn't realize that a combination of gathering knowledge but not being able to compartmentalize that knowledge was a really bad one. So some practical tips here. Learn about the pyramid principle, which essentially is building up your arguments for each topic you have. But don't lead with the argument. Lead with what you are stating, what's in your mind, and then give the other person a chance to ask you the question, like why, right? Why comes later? MECE is another technique, which is mutually exclusive and completely exhaustive. So basically, you lay down all exhaustive options and then figure out the mutually exclusive ones to synthesize your thoughts. So helps in synthesis. Always three things. This is a classic technique. If somebody asks you about something, say, I have three points here, one, two, three. And state those points first before going about explaining why you made those points. If your brain cannot handle parking lot, which is a common term we use in sprints, literally use a notepad for things that are kind of related but not relevant for now. And ask yourself, why now, right? Do one thing at a time. You may want to read up on single-tasking, which is very, very opposite to multitasking that we all do. And the neuroscience behind it. This will help you declutter your mind, which in turn will help you declutter your arguments and expressions. Also, there's a fair amount of emotional regulation is required, expressing just enough, not too much, constantly thriving to be better, which requires practice, and less speaking but with assertion, right? So these are the tips here for brevity. All right, which lead us to summarizing these five tips, effectiveness over being right, storytelling over data and evidence-gathering, collectivism over individualism, progress over perfection, brevity over details. Some of these might be really counterintuitive. Just so you know, like, observe, take your time on a day-to-day and figure out what works, what doesn't work for you. But these are things that I observe, not just in me, but in multiple PMs that I have led in my career right now. At the end of the day, one thing I want to say here, in Silicon Valley, it's touted that you are the CEO, as a PM, as a product manager, as a CEO of their product. No, don't be the CEO. CEO makes their own decisions. Of course, they listen to other people. They make their own decisions at the end of the day. But you don't get to do that. You have to lead by influence here. To lead by influence, you have to make sure that you have to let go of your ego. You have to be empathetic. You have to figure out there's something greater than yourself. Some of parts is always bigger than the parts themselves. Here's to a great career. Hopefully this talk helped you. Thank you.