 me high last too. And my guest is Elizabeth Rikisak. She's the author of A Beat Plus Life. Elizabeth, thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you for having me. You're excited. I am very excited as well because I found out about your book from one of my fellow book club members at Coloal Banker Island Properties, my office in Kapalua. And she handed me your book. She hasn't read it yet either. I go home, I start reading it, and then I cannot put it down. And the reason I cannot put it down is because it is such an honest account of most of your life. All the messes, all the successes. And it made me wonder why did you write this book? What was your goal? Did you just want to tell the truth? Did you want to help people learn from your experiences? What was your goal? My goal is to reach other women. When I say other women, I'm thinking women over 50, mainly because by 50 you've had some journey behind you. For whatever reason, the universe of God gave me a journey that was pretty challenging. And I wanted to share it as honestly as I could with other women to give them hope and inspiration to not give up no matter what happens. Keep going. But you know, I'm not 50 yet. I learned a lot from your book and I do have to say that, you know, it's good for somebody younger to read it as well because it brings up so many issues from your life that we learn from as well. That's right. You know what? You're right. You're right. So that you don't make the mistakes, perhaps, that I did. The marriage mistakes, the career mistakes, whatever they are, whatever was thrown at you, it helps to hear it from someone who's been through it, who might be a little wiser to lead you. You know, like choosing a partner that's important and we choose partners, you know, some women as early as when they're 16, right? Well, I'll tell you what, a lot of women, especially me, chose partners for the wrong reasons. And lots of times we ignore those red flags. They're right there. They're right there and we ignore them. So I know I married out of fear. Fear is the worst reason to be married or insecurity. And also I married out of because I was lonely, loneliness. Women have been told that they need a man to be fulfilled. And that's not always true. That was true. Unless you find that perfect partner, which is hard to find, it's okay to be alone. It's okay to do this journey alone. And I wanted to give the strength to other women knowing what I've been through, divorce, abandonment, sickness, accidents, raising children alone. Right. Speaking of children. So, you know, while this book is, has very good advice for women trying to find a partner, I think it also has some very interesting stories about motherhood. And you talk about your relationship with your mother. And then you talk about you as a mother, and you being an adoptive mother as well. And that part of the story becomes very complicated. And you're keeping it very, very honest. My mother was a beautiful soul, however, she was very emotionally. And so I, the roles were reversed, and that I helped my mom a lot. She died very young. So I promised myself when I became a mother, I would raise my daughter strong and independent, all the things that I was not raised. I was raised to please and care. And I did. I raised a very strong woman. Then I adopted a child. And if you read the book, you will be astonished how that all came to be. I lived in the deep South. And I adopted a black child on the side of a road as a teacher, as a single woman. There are so many facets to my story. I broke less barriers, racial barriers, societal barriers, political barriers, and religious barriers living in the South. And I tried to touch on all of those in the book. It didn't go, if you've watched the movie Blind Side, you'll think, ah, this is Blind Side. Pretty blonde woman, adoptive black boy, great football player, blah, blah, blah. Well, guess what? It was like Blind Side, but with it, not a good ending. Yeah. And I don't know how much of that you want to reveal to our viewers, but I do want to say the story gets very complicated. And there are some very difficult moments there for you as a parent and an adoptive mother. Yes. Very complicated. And I'm astonishing. The things that not to give the book away, but this adopted child was very needy and wonderful at first. And then as he became very successful in high school as a football player, it all went astray. And he ended up breaking the law and going to prison. This affected my other relationship, I thought. When I just thought in my little naive mind that when God drops something in your lap, in your path, you should just don't ignore it. Don't ignore it. Obviously, I meant I was meant to help this little boy. But not only that, I thought it would be such a great lesson to teach my other two children that when somebody needs help, you help them. Unfortunately, it didn't all work out that way. I think there was a lot of resentment. And when he broke the law, it was a huge scandal because, of course, I was teacher of the year, which makes it all the worse. And my two children were very, very, my two biological children were very, very embarrassed by it. And you can imagine their life throughout the school. So why do I bring this up? Because it was about as bad as it can be in many areas. And I kept trying. I never compromised anything for these children. They were everything to me. And I must say that they all turned out very well. They're all in the late 30s, highly successful at the professions they chose them to do. So focus and have fun. It was hard. Do you think that all your children read the book? Do you think that all your family read the book? Have they told you or wrote you or have anything about it? Because again, you're very honest, not only in relating the fact, but also your feelings about all these people in your life. Purposely, I purposely, well, first of all, there are no names in the book. So I tried, I didn't even tell them like this about the book that was published. And then I told them that I wrote something that I felt very strongly about to help other women. I tried to make them understand that nobody will know who they are. We have different names, last names. They live far away, not to worry. Well, my two biological children did read the book. And I have to tell you they weren't happy. I believe I cannot speak for them. However, I do believe that they felt that I exposed their life, their early life without permission. I believe that maybe I hit some deep core emotions that they had repressed for many, many years and all of a sudden it's all come back. It's all come out. And so they weren't happy with the book. They weren't happy. I was hoping that they would proud of me as their mom to be published and making a decision to write a book to help others. The greater good, the greater good. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. I'm hoping with time, maturity, they'll understand why I did what I did by writing this strictly a ministry. What about your brother? So, yes. So he's banned. In the book, he is not shed in a totally positive light. I have one brother that has passed. This particular brother that is alive is older. And we have never been close. I brought them into the book just to show my childhood and the struggles I had as a young woman in a family that I certainly didn't feel like I belonged to. So he and I have never been close. And I worried about when the book came out, which came out October 31st. On Christmas Day, I called him to wish him a very merry Christmas. I hadn't talked to him at all. He was very pleasant. He told me all about his hunting expeditions at his travels. He never mentioned the book. So I am under the impression that he doesn't even know it exists. And if he did, I don't think he at all interested. He's never been a great fan of mine. But we're on terms that we can talk. Not only my brother. There are people in the book that I portrayed and they know who they are when they read the book. And I tried to be very gentle. Again, I didn't write anything that I wasn't trying to make a strong point about two other women. I've carried so many people along the six decades because I felt, and I think a lot of women, the more people I have in my life, the more secure I am. I kept these friendships going, whether they moved my life or whether they cared about me, I kept it going. And my book gave me a way to personally purge, if you will, some of those relationships that I needed to let go and let go and love, which I should have done a long time ago because things have been hurtful, but I've forgiven and forgiven and forgiven. So the book helped me send some people off in love that no longer needed to be in my life, nor did I need to be in their life. So was writing this book therapeutic for you? It was very healing. It's healing, but I'm also, I love to write and for whatever reason, the university gave me this journey and I thought, you know what, let me see if I can make a story out of this to help someone. I mean, who am I? I'm not famous. No one knows me. But I think most women are like me and they can relate to a lot of the things I went through. We're not famous, we're not rich, but we have lived a journey. We all live a journey along and I just felt like I had so much to offer from my experience. Yes, it helped me. It was easy for me to write. It just flowed, which made me almost feel like the universe really was behind me. It really flowed. The reader, I felt that. I felt, you know, as I said, I couldn't put it down because it was, you know, the events and the feelings described in the book and it was easy to relate on some levels and particularly this honesty and describing your successes, but also your mistakes. You are a very accomplished teacher. You've had several words and you're a respected teacher, so I count that as a success. I think that you're also under your successes. I think motherhood is a success. You overcome many, many issues more than most mothers have to deal with in their life. I like how every chapter is a note at the end, a note to self. It's witty and sometimes it's sarcastic, but it goes to the point. I don't think I've seen that before. You know what, that came to me because as a teacher I have been reading many, many classics with kids and basically I'd say at the end of each chapter, why did the author write that chapter? What were we supposed to take away in one sentence? And so I really looked at my chapters and I thought, why did I write that? What was I trying to get across? I thought, ah, note to self. What did I learn? Maybe that's somewhat else. I tried to be funny, sometimes very serious and sometimes very sad. You know, the chapter when I lost my mom was really a tough one. As hard as she was, losing your mom is huge, especially the way it happened. The adoption process that whole time was painfully difficult. So I, at the end of each chapter, I would say, okay, what did I learn from this? What's somebody supposed to take away from this experience? So I had fun with that. It was fun. I even... And as a teacher then, is the title related to your habits of creating papers? Yes, that's why I picked B-plus. Let me tell you what. I love a B-plus. A B-plus, you know what that means to me? It means a kid that is trying so hard. Perhaps they're not gifted, but they're trying really hard to do the best they can. And that's as close as they can get. But in the meantime, since they aren't gifted and things aren't given straight to them easily, they work harder. They develop personality. They develop charm. They develop different skills because they know to be successful. They have to work that much harder. Whereas an A-plus child, or an A-plus, as I describe it in my book, an A-plus woman, they don't have to work as hard. People fall over for them. Things are easy for them. So I think if I was a businesswoman and I opened a business, I would only hire B-plus workers because I know what a B-plus means. It's a hard-working person trying to be an A. That's very, very interesting. You know, I have a teenager and she is A-plus student. And I agree with you that the kids that are A and A-plus, they have A and A-plus grades, you know, obviously they're academically inclined and it's easy for them. And thank you for correcting my perception that, well, a B-plus is somebody that doesn't have it quite, you know, it's actually somebody that's probably had more challenges and tried really hard. Exactly. They have to try twice as hard. So a B-plus might be as close as they can get to an A, but boy, they worked hard to get there. I mean, I love, the last part of my career I taught gifted and talented children, they had to be state tested, 96% and above on state standards. Brilliant. They didn't have to work that hard for anything. They really did. And A was nothing to them. It's those children that say, oh, I need to make this happen. And they try and they try, then they get there involved in many things. And then they have to bring out their personality and their charm. I've been mentioned that about my brother, my younger brother, and we were in Catholic school as kids. The nuns were so hard on him. He finally got us thrown out of Catholic school. And it turns out later, far later, I get a master's in reading and education and realize how deeply dyslexic my poor brother was. He wasn't bad. He couldn't read. He was dyslexic. What did he develop? An incredible personality. The guy was, when he died, he was one of the wealthiest successful men I eat because of his personality and perseverance that made up for other things. So I have very strong feelings about meeting a kid where they are and taking them further. And speaking about making things happen, one of the reasons I was so drawn to reading your book is because you now live in West Maui, actually just a few miles from our office. Yes. I wanted to know our neighbor. Thank you. So how did Maui call you? Exactly. What is your mission here now? My husband and I met in South Carolina in late 50s. I was in my late 50s. He was in his early 60s. And so we had quite a bit of a life before we met. So when we met, we retired also and 35 years of teaching. Retired. He retired from chemistry. But he's always been a surfer. And he was sitting there one evening and he said, gosh, when I was 17, I just wanted to give it all up and go to Maui. And surf would be a surf bum. But instead, he went to college, got a chemistry degree, had a family, raised a family, you know, the whole nine yards. So here we are sitting there and I said, well, it's not too late. Let's go. And believe it or not, we moved 4,800 miles away from everyone we knew and everything we knew to this tiny little island because of his love for surfing and my love for flowers and warm breezes, this place is incredibly special, not just its beauty. The spiritual aspect of this island feeling gives me shivers. The Aloha spirit. People are accepting. They don't judge you. It can be who you want to be. And we have chosen to have this quiet life here. We surf. I look at flowers. We have met a cadre of beautiful people. And it's just the most peaceful existence we've ever had. Maui is so special. I know you know that you're here too. It's so special. And I've never, I've never been happier in my life, nor has Ken. In fact, his joke always is, honey, I'm not leaving the island unless I'm in a box. I can understand that. And I know that besides, you know, enjoying Maui, you're also quite a community member. You're volunteering a lot, both of you. And I'd love to hear more about that. Thank you. I work at the hospital. We have one hospital here. And I thought I need to get involved in that hospital. So I'm one of the people that runs the gift shop. Good job. And I sell my books in the gift shop by the time and the money goes to the hospital, give it to the hospital. I have such joy that I can help that hospital because it's the only one we have. And eventually, all of us are going to cross through the door one of these days for whatever reason. So let's make it the best it can be. And it's been a wonderful experience. The other thing I do is I work in a bookstore, Prince of the Library bookstore. Again, my book is in there. Are you working in the Kihei one or? Yes, I was doing the line of one. God forbid it burned down like everything else. So we start at one in Kihei. And it's great. And my book is in there and the money goes to the bookstore if they sell the book. Ken and I also have done much to help the homeless here, especially since the fire, we were able to collect $14,000 from friends back home when the fire happened. And they wanted to help, but they didn't know where to send money. So they sent it to us. And we put it in the hands of people that we know here, locals that we know, and paddles on the longboards, the big canoes, and the behind the club and the behind the club members, most of them lost everything. We were able to put money in all of their hands. Thank you for, thank you for doing this. I know there's a lot of help still needed. And it's both financial and emotional support that's still needed. Exactly. I'm probably one of the nicest things I was able to do lately is the little school up in Kapa Lua, right? By your shop, it's the Sacred Heart School. They've been intense. The classrooms are intense. These children, and they asked me to, they needed someone for a week. So I volunteered and taught second grade for the week. It was probably one of the most spiritual moments of my journey here. There was children, 85 children in that little school lost everything. Yet I've never met such joyous, gracious children from all over the world. Tongans, the Moans, they're all Hawaiian, but they're all different races and they are just so beautiful. And I was able to give my time and my talent freely to help the school. That was really a nice experience. Nothing like teaching an attempt with a booster at the door. Right. Oh my gosh. The winds blowing through the tent. It was really an experience. It was nice. Well, thank you for doing that. I know how hard it is. And I know it's very appreciated. And I just have one last question for you. What is next for this book? I would love to put this in Oprah's hands. And I say that teasingly. But what I'm saying is I would love a successful, empathetic woman that has connections to read it so that she can give it to every woman that could use a little help on their personal journey. Um, I don't know how to do that personally, but I would love if someone had the means or the fame or whatever it would take. And she likes Maui. She loves Maui. So I just joke about that, but I would love every woman to have a copy of this so that when they're feeling down, they can laugh, cry, and say, oh my God, you're talking about me. How many women I've heard from daily? Thank you. I don't know them. They messaged me, and they said, thank you. I cried when I read your book. Thank you for understanding. It's really, it's really good. I would love to get it out there is what I would like. Well, I don't know if Oprah is going to watch this talk show, but I've never dreamt this high for this talk show, but who knows? Maybe she will. Maybe she lives in Maui sometimes, but anyway, it doesn't have to be Oprah. I'm just teasing, but just somebody to get it out there in the hands of women that could use it right now. I think the story will carry on, and people will want to know more and read the book and probably reach out to you. You're so, that's the other part I like is that was easy to find you, and you were so gracious to join me on the show. Thank you. I wanted to say one little thing. The cover of the book. I met a young man on this island. He's somewhere in his 30 on the beach, and he is on the spectrum, and a lovely young man rides his bike to the grocery store, whatever he does. He turns out that I was watching him draw on the beach. He's a gifted artist, gifted, self-taught. So I actually went to him. His name is Tim McHugh, and I said, Tim, listen, I'm writing this book. It's a shot in the dark, and I told him what I had in mind to put on the cover. I told him in language. That young man drew that cover with just a little bit of instruction that I gave. I am so proud to promote the community that are on the spectrum, the autistic children. They're so talented, and it was my one more way of giving a plug to a student, and I've even put in the front on the dedication page I did write where you can get in touch with Tim. He's gifted, and I was just glad to be able to help by putting this cover on my book. Yes, it's a beautiful cover. He did a great job, and I, you know, even if we can't see your face, it's kind of, I don't know, it's huge, and that's probably Ken right there on the surf. I'm watching him surf. If you'll notice on the cover, I've got rose-colored glasses on, and the last note to self in the book is refuse to remove your rose-colored glasses. In other words, never give up. Keep positive, keep that glass half full, not half empty, and just keep going girls. And that was, if you'll notice, I have rose-colored glasses on. And that's one of the best advice is keep your rose-colored glasses. Keep on those rose-colored glasses. Don't let people disillusion your future. Well, thank you for this wonderful interview, and again, for being so honest in writing this book and sharing your experiences with us. I hope that many, many women and men in all ages will read it, including Oprah. Thank you. Thank you very much, Beth. And so our viewers, please read the book and we'll see you next time.