 The sponsors of the Our Miss Brooks program, which follows immediately, wish to congratulate Mrs. Ray Thiel on winning the $49,000 first prize in the Colgate Palm Olive Peat Company's 49er Gold Rush Contest. Mrs. Thiel, Secretary to Mayor Richard J. Marks of Norwich, Connecticut, experienced the thrill of a lifetime when two armored car drivers strolled into her office and dumped $49,000 in $1 bills on her desk. The complete story will appear in Look Magazine's August 16th issue, which reaches the newsstand's August 2nd. Palm Olive Soap, Your Beauty Hope, and Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous, carousel hair bring you Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden. Most principals are quite strict when it comes to punctuality among faculty members, but Our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High Summer School, has always believed that her principal, Osgood Conklin, is overly severe. I could never understand why Mr. Conklin had such a passion for promptness until one day I learned that he was born at five o'clock in the morning and he's been early ever since. Anyway, by last Thursday I was determined to get to school on time if I had to stay up all Wednesday night to do it. Promptly at six thirty Thursday morning my alarm clock went off. Having been up all Wednesday night, I ignored it. But then the phone rang in the hall and knowing that my landlady, Mrs. Davis, was back in the kitchen, I sprang lightly out of bed and glided to the phone. Ouch! Hello? Hello, Miss Brooks. This is Mr. Conklin. Are you up? Sort of. What can I do for you, Mr. Conklin? Two things, Miss Brooks. You can arrive at school promptly at eight this morning and once you get there, I want you to promise that you'll concentrate on teaching English to your class instead of learning biology from Mr. Boynton. Well, Mr. Conklin, one would think that Mr. Boynton and I... Yes. Wouldn't know, Miss Brooks, that the president of the Board of Education is back from his vacation. Mr. Stone? Yes. And he's already chewed me out. Complained to me about the lack of education in our summer sessions. Teachers taking time off of vacations, getting married, having children. Why, you teachers are acting more and more like... Like human beings? Don't be egotistical. Praternizing during school hours, I don't see how I can remain the same, considerate, intemperate, kindly superior you've all grown to admire. But Mr. Conklin... That's all for now. Just get on the ball, Miss Brooks, and when you get on it, see that you stay on it. What does he think I am? A seal? Get on the ball. No fraternization. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning, Connie. Oh, good morning, Mrs. Davis. Who was that on the phone? Mr. Conklin? Oh, how he has asked good these days. Horrible, thanks. He's getting more unreasonable every day. You have no idea how fed up I'm getting with his dictatorial nonsense. You wouldn't have to take any of it, Connie, if you had some other job you could go to. Some other job? Yes. You weren't born a teacher, were you? No, it just seems that way. Weren't you once secretary to a mayor Norwich of Marx, Connecticut? No, but I was secretary to mayor Marx of Norwich, Connecticut. That's right nearby. Now there was a swell boss. Well, Connie, I've got a big surprise for you. You may be able to get your old job back just by calling him up. What? I just read where his present secretary won $49,000 in the 49er Gold Rush Contest. That's the contest put on by, um... Some big soap company, wasn't it? Yes, I think it was. So much for living dangerously. Who won Colgate Palm Olive Pete's contest? Mrs. Ray Theale. Mrs. Ray Theale. Mrs. Ray Theale. She's the woman who's working for your old boss, Mayor Marx. With all that money, she'll probably quit her job at once. Well, what has that got to do with me, Mrs. Davis? Don't just see, Connie. If you just give him a call, Mayor Marx may offer you the position again. But I don't know if I want to go back to Connecticut, Mrs. Davis. You don't have to accept the offer, Connie. But once he knows you can work elsewhere, Mr. Conklin's attitude will be entirely different. Now go ahead, Connie. Call Mayor Marx immediately. But... You don't have to pay me for the call until next month. Well, if that's the case. It will be nice to chat with his honor again. I wonder if you'll remember me. Go ahead, Connie. Give the receiver. All right, Mrs. Davis. So I just told her right out. Excuse me. It's our party line. I'd feel a little silly if Mayor Marx didn't even know who I was. But you said you got along fine with him, Connie. Now, don't be silly. You try again in a minute. I'll clear off the breakfast dishes. Well, that must be Walter Denton. He's giving me a lift to school. Hiya, Miss Brooks. Come in, Walter. As you can see, I'm not quite ready to leave the house. Oh, that's all right, Miss Brooks. We got time. Besides, I know plenty of women who'd give anything to look as good wearing an expensive dress as you look in that beat-up, crummy old bathrobe. Thank you, Walter, I think. Sit down for a minute, won't you? Here, read this look magazine. I'm trying to place a long-distance call. Long distance to who? An ex-boss of mine. I'll tell you all about it after I talk to him. Excuse me for interrupting, Grace, but I was trying to get Agnes. I guess I'd better get ready now, Walter. If you'll excuse me a minute. Oh, before you go, Miss Brooks, there's something I'd like to ask you. Can't you wait and ask me in class, Walter? No, ma'am. My question has nothing to do with English. The question is, is a man who, because his daughter happens to be in love with a certain other young fellow than who he might choose if he had to say so over this girl, entitled to constantly kick this young fellow from pillar to post? You're right, Walter. Your question has nothing to do with English. I gather you're talking about your stormy romance with Harriet Conklin. Exactly, Miss Brooks. You know how fond I am of Harriet. And because of this fondness, I've tried to be patient and understanding. But now I've come to a conclusion. Yes? Mr. Conklin has got to go. It isn't that I mind his treating me like dirt so much. It's a dirty way he does it. How do you combat a tyrant like that? Or how do you avoid him? Honestly, if I were five or six years older, I'd leave Madison High. You may be seven years older before you graduate, you know. But I know how you feel, Walter. I've been thinking of changing jobs myself. Changing jobs? What other kind of a job would you be good for? A nice way of calling me the ideal teacher. But before I'm led to the glue factory, Walter, I can go back to work as a secretary in Norwich, Connecticut. Mayor Marks can probably use me right now. Gee, Norwich, Connecticut. Oh, but what about Mr. Boynton? He wouldn't want to leave him, would ya? I might not have to. As secretary to the mayor, I might be able to wangle a transfer for Mr. Boynton. I could teach there. Oh, that's right. They do have biology in Connecticut, don't they? In one form or another, they must. Now, you'd better get on to school without me this morning. I've got to try that call again. But you'll be late, Miss Brooks. What about Mr. E. Conklin? Mr. E. Conklin will just have to wait. You know, I'm beginning to feel strangely liberated, and I like it. Connecticut is beautiful at this time of the year. Gee, we're gonna miss you, Miss Brooks. I'll miss you, too, Walter. Well, I guess I'll be going now. Be sure and right, won't you, Miss Brooks? Of course I will. Goodbye, Miss Brooks. Bye, Walter. It'll be good to see Mayor Marks again. I wonder how he looks. Well, Connie, did you place your call yet? No, Mrs. Davis. The party line's been in use. Well, you better get dressed and go to school now, Connie. I'll call the mayor for you and let you know what happened right after I talk to him. All right, Mrs. Davis, but before I go, I'll try it once more. Leave me, Grace, while you've been on the phone, Bertha couldn't have hand-trimplets. Steve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith. Here's wonderful news, ladies. Wonderful, wonderful news. Now there's something thrillingly new in Palm Olive Soap's famous beauty leather. Yes, something thrillingly new. Palm Olive's famous beauty leather now brings you new fragrance, new charm, new allure. Millions of women will prefer beauty leather Palm Olive over all other leading toilet soaps the minute they try it. For Palm Olive Soap's famous beauty leather now has a new, clean, flower-fresh fragrance. For new allure, new charm. So, ladies, forget all other beauty care and use Palm Olive Soap the way doctors advised for a lovelier complexion. Just stop improper cleansing and instead wash your face with Palm Olive Soap three times a day, massaging Palm Olive's wonderful beauty leather onto your skin for 60 seconds each time to get its full, beautifying effect. Then rinse. That's all. All types of skin, young, older, oily, respond to it quickly. Don't wait another day to try Palm Olive's beauty leather. You'll be thrilled by its new fragrance, new charm, new allure. Thrilled again by the fresher, brighter complexion, doctors prove may soon be yours. For new loveliness all over, use Big Bath Size Palm Olive in tub or shower. Well, when Walter Danton left Miss Brooks, he was convinced that she had a job waiting for in Norwich, Connecticut. Arriving at school, the first person he ran into was Harriet Conklin. After hearing the news, the first person she ran into was her father, Madison's beloved principal, Osgood Conklin. So you see, Daddy, Miss Brooks is practically set in this new job. But she can't leave now. Mr. Stone's back from his vacation. Only yesterday, he was chewing, complaining about absenteeism. First, our music teacher, Mrs. Jensen, trots off to visit her sick mother. Then Mr. LeBlanc needs an operation and fritters a week away in the hospital. But that's not your fault, Daddy. I'm afraid the head of the board doesn't agree with you, Harriet. You should have heard Mr. Stone yesterday. He actually threatened me. What did he say, Daddy? He said he'd have me pounding a beat in Brooklyn. Miss Brooks leaves. He may even investigate some of the wild rumors flying around this school that I'm a... Tyrant? Thank you, my dear. If he decides to invi... What do you mean, tyrant? I've always tempered my power with justice. Look, Daddy, I know you mean well, but, well, Miss Brooks is like a thoroughbred, tense and high strung. You've got to give her her head sometimes. I'd like to hand it to her on a plate sometime. Don't you realize, Harriet, that you're asking me to be gentle with a woman who has single-handedly jacked up my blood pressure 25 points? But don't you see, Daddy, if you don't want her to leave, you've just got to be nicer to Miss Brooks. Well, I'll think it over. Now, you get to her first class and give the student something to study. Miss Brooks is late for a change. I'll take care of it right away, Daddy. And when she does get here... When she does get here, I'll tell... Remember Mr. Stone and Brooklyn. Goodbye, Daddy. Hello, Harriet. I think you should whistle so loudly, Miss Brooks. We're right outside Daddy's office, you know. Harriet, I've got a little message for you. Whistling in the hall is just the first of a long and distinguished line of violations I've got planned for today. This, in a word, is Independence Day for Constance Brooks. Look, Miss Brooks, please don't do anything until you've talked to Daddy. He's waiting to see you. Very well, dear. I'll toddle into his den for a moment. I am Miss Brooks right over here. Oh, I came as fast as I could. I thought you were whistling for me about your being late today. About my being late today? So what? Nothing, my dear. I just wanted you to know that I consider it extremely admirable of you to get here this early. After all, you must have hurried your breakfast terribly. What? Your health comes first, you know. You mustn't let your sense of duty or your proven loyalty to me upset your peace of mind. Am I in the right school? This is Madison High, isn't it? Of course, my dear. I am Madison's principal, your principal, Miss Brooks, who prides himself above all things on his ability to ease the path for those members of his faculty, nay, his family, tired or run down. You may deny this, Miss Brooks, but you need a respite from your school duties. You still have a zest for living and enthusiasm for things outside your work. I know you have. My men is the day I've watched you from my office as the final bell rang and you left your classroom. How I chuckled as you galloped through the halls, toward some cheery rendezvous with Mr. Boynton. The old eyes good to see you hurling the pupils to right and left. Oh, what a sight it was. Their little heads bobbing like ping-pong balls as you flailed at them with your handbag. Now, just a minute, Mr. Conrad. I want to rekindle that enthusiasm, Miss Brooks. That's why I insist that you take the morning off. Off? I must be. I mean, run over to the gym. Get yourself a bathing suit and take a nice sunbath. Then, when he's finished with his class, meet Mr. Boynton. Have a bit of lunch together or go for a stroll around the campus. Do you a world of good? Well, what do you say? I can only say what my dear old grandmother taught me to say at a time like this. And what is that, Miss Brooks? Never look a gift conklin in the choppers. I'm off to the jail. Sorry, Mr. Boynton, but now that you've dismissed your class, I thought I'd say hello. Hello, Miss Brooks. I was just... gosh. Mr. Boynton, what are you blushing about? You're in a bathing suit. I better turn around. Oh, don't be so modest, Mr. Boynton. Turn around again and live a little. You've just been taking a sunbath outside the gym, Mr. Boynton. Please, Miss Brooks, I consider sunbathing on school property highly irregular. I may change the subject. Why change the subject? What's so terrible about my wearing a bathing suit? You'll just turn around, you'll see that this is a very modest little number, although it doesn't quite cover my knees. Well, all right, but I'll say that that looks stunning. I borrowed it from the domestic science teacher. I'll bet this was a racy little job in the gay 90s. I like old-fashioned bathing suits. Say, that one even has a bustle in the back, hasn't it? No. And now you can change the subject. Why don't you change into a bathing suit and we'll go halfies on the sun? Well, I like the sun, Miss Brooks. Oh, it's certainly done wonders for me. When I came to school this morning, I was fit to be tied. But now I love the whole world. Why, I even love Mr. Conklin. You've been in the sun too long, Miss Brooks. That is, I'd like to join you, but you see, with two of our teachers temporarily out, Mr. Conklin's asked me to assume their duties in addition to my own. But that isn't fair. Oh, I'll be relieved pretty soon. It seems that one of our female teachers had some idea of working in Norwich, Connecticut. But Mr. Conklin's carrying on a campaign to keep her here. A campaign? Yes. It doesn't sound ethical to me, but he says that as soon as it's too late for her to get the job in Connecticut, he's going to work her like a horse. I wonder if... I wonder who the teacher is. What do you mean by that? Just what I said. No wonder he was so sweet to me this morning. Take a sunbathe, my dear. Run over to see Mr. Boyden. I'm glad I've got that other job waiting. Make a workhorse out of me, will he? Miss Brooks, where are you going? I'm going to gallop over to Mr. Conklin's office and plow him under. Principal's office. Be brief, please. Mr. Davis, is Miss Brooks in her classroom? No, no, Margaret, she isn't. I sent her out to take a little sunbathe. Healthy teachers are happy teachers, I always say. Of course. What is it? That party? I'm afraid I don't understand. I'm sorry, Ozgood, but it's a highly confidential matter. After all, Miss Brooks wouldn't want everybody to know that the job she thought she could have had as Mayor Mark's secretary in Norwich is being... I'm afraid I've said too much. Not too much, Margaret. Just enough. Goodbye, my dear. But Ozgood, I... I said goodbye, landlady. So, there's no job in Norwich at all. Well, maybe now our little whistling tea kettle will shut her spout for a while. Now, now, Ozgood, mustn't lose your temper. Remember the old blood pressure. I've got something to say to you, Mr. Conklin. Oh, you have? Have a seat, Miss Brooks. Never mind the acting, Lionel. What I've got to say, I can say on my feet. Good. Good. I've got something to say to you, too. But, of course, ladies first. I'm afraid I'm not really a lady, Miss Conklin. If I was, those words couldn't have occurred to me as I approached this office. Such as... Slave driver. Mm-hmm. Bully. Yeah. Uh, ogre, uh... How about tyrant? Oh, by all means tyrant. Tyrant. Does that complete the list, Miss Brooks? Temporarily, yes. Fine. Now you can listen to my message. Miss Brooks, although you consider me a tyrant, I think you should know that I am a very special kind of tyrant. What do you mean? I happen to be Miss Brooks. The only tyrant you've got! Control yourself, Ozgood. Watch that pressure, boy. You see, Miss Brooks, Mrs. Davis called while you were sunbathing on my time to inform you that there is no job open in Connecticut. No job open? However, since you seem so fond of secretarial work, you can take these reports home and type them neatly in triplicate. And one more thing, Miss High and Mighty. Don't you ever again dare to talk to me in the loud tone of voice you assumed this morning? Is that clear? Yes, it is, Mr. Conklin. Oh, that's half of it. I'm sorry you have all this extra work to do, Connie. I can't help feeling it's my fault. Oh, it couldn't be helped, Mrs. Davis. I should have known Mrs. Thiel wouldn't give up her job just for a few measly $49,000. Mayor March was very nice on the phone, Connie. He said that if any other desirable position came along, he'd let you know immediately. Oh, I'm afraid he was just letting me down easy, Mrs. Davis. Oh, gosh. I'm sleepy. Why don't you take a little nap, Connie? It'll make you feel much better. Here, sit down in this rocker. Thanks. It certainly feels good. You know, Mrs. Davis, sometimes I think I should never have left that job in Norwich. Why, I might have won that $49,000. If I'd stayed there longer, I might have gotten into politics. Mayor March will have to retire someday. Who knows? I might even have become... Your Honor, Mayor Brooks, I've got to talk to you at once. Of course, Boynham. What is it? As your personal bodyguard and constant companion, I insisted you hear this bulletin. I'm listening, Boynham. I love you, Your Honor. Love you madly, desperately, cruelly. Love you, do you hear? Just through one ear. Better do a rebroadcast for the other one. Oh, my darling, come out from behind that desk. It's so wonderful, so desirable. Come, let me hold you in my arms, Mayor, dear. Just call me May. It sounds more feminine. Or perhaps you think me too bold. Maybe I should strive harder to control my passion. After all, yours is a position of trust. You're a high public official, the mayor of this city. The mayor, yes, but I am also a woman. And what a woman. Pardon me for baying at you, my sweet, but I just can't resist you. Put your arms around me, my darling. But, Boynham, this is my office. Someone might see us. Let them see us. I'd kiss you on the roof of the Chamber of Commerce. The steps of the city hall are right on Main Street. Try my lips. There's less traffic there. Wait a moment. What was that? What? I thought I heard panting outside my door. Oh, that. That's just Alderman Conklin. He's been waiting to see you for eight days now. Really? Well, take off his leash and bring him in. Yes, Your Honor. Hello, Your Honor. You're nice, nice, Your Honor. How is your sweet, kind, glorious mayorship this lovely afternoon? Hmm. Down, Conklin. What is it you want? Be brief. I want to tell you something, something I think you should know. Yes? There's been a mutiny. The people have rebelled against your tyranny, and in a free election, a free democratic election, I have just been elected governor of this state. Governor? Oh, no. Oh, no. They can't, they can't elect him governor. Connie, wake up, Connie. Huh? Hmm? What? Oh, oh. Oh, I'm so glad you woke me, Mrs. Davis. I was having a daymare about Mr. Conklin. Oh, I thought I'd better wake you, Connie. This wire just came for you. Oh, let's see it. Well, it's from Mayor Mark's secretary. It says, dear Miss Brooks, I will give you important position in local firm. This job pays double the salary you receive as a schoolteacher. Please answer by return wire, signed Mrs. Ray Theo. Why, Connie, that's wonderful. Are you going to accept it? No, Mrs. Davis, I'll have to turn it down. Turn it down? But what's wrong with the position they're offering? It pays double your salary as a schoolteacher. That's what's wrong with it. I can't afford to work that cheap. Mrs. Brooks returns in just a moment, but first, beautiful luster cream. Tonight, yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster cream, world's finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you K. Dumit's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin. Not a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier, fragrant clean, free of loose dandruff, glistening with sheen, soft, manageable. Even in hardest water, luster cream lathers instantly. No special rents needed after a luster cream shampoo. So gentle, luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo. Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl. You owe your crowning glory to luster cream shampoo. And now, once again, here is our Miss Brooks. Well, my dream didn't come true, but Mrs. Ray Theels did. And if you want to know just how she felt, be sure and get the August 16th issue of Look Magazine, which reaches the newsstand's August 2nd. Congratulations, Mrs. Theel. And I'd like Mayor Richard J. Marks of Norwich, Connecticut, to know that I consider him a swell ex-boss, and I'd enjoy meeting him sometime. Good night. Next week, turning to another Our Miss Brooks show, brought to you by Parmalay Soap, Your Beauty Hope, and Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressable hair. Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur Hatch. And by Jeff Chandler, Mr. Conklin, by Gale Gordon. Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, and Gloria Blondel. From the research laboratories of the Colgate-Palmall of Pete Company comes an astonishing new dentifress. Colgate Ammoniated Tooth Powder contains the amazing ingredients that help prevent tooth decay and also has Colgate's exclusive foamy cleaning action. Plus, a refreshing minty flavor the whole family will enjoy. Economical, too. The big four-ounce size costs only forty-three cents. Yet, Colgate Ammoniated Tooth Powder, now. For Mystery Liberally Spreakle with Laughs, listen to Mr. and Mrs. North Tuesday evening over most of these same stations. And be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks. Bob LeMond speaking. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.