 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden It's time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well many schools hold various popularity polls from time to time and Madison High School where our miss Brooks teaches English is no exception No, and I felt extremely honored last week because I had been voted faculty queen of the football team Although I can't help thinking that they could have dreamed up a more glamorous title for me than miss pigskin of 1950 Anyway Friday morning Walter Denden picked me up in his broken down hopped up Jalopy or as the girls call it the devil's playground To drive me down to dear old Madison or as I call it the devil's playground Well Walter you seem quite chipper this morning I'm more than chipper. I'm a bird on the wing Well, I don't like to bring you down, but you just flew through a red light What's the cause of this pre dawn gaiety our football team miss Brooks? Well, you see him in action We're gonna amaze the entire gridiron world this year I thought we amazed the gridiron world last year Walter as I recall in the 15 games. We played we had a perfect record Unblemished by a single victory It's coaching that makes a difference and this year things are gonna be a lot different. We got Bronco You mean we're gonna buck our players into the end Dawson, he's one of the greatest ex players alive With him coach and Madison were a cinch seems to me. I have read his name somewhere Wasn't he voted a pure American or something? That's all American Well, I hope he does well for our team if only for mr. Boynton's sake It's amazing how the success or failure of our football team affects his spirits What's amazing about it? Mr. Boynton's always been a fan just because he's a little on the square side Maybe doesn't mean that Is that what you really think of mr. Boynton, Walter? Sure. What if he is a corn ball on the surface? Down below he's pure gold. You just got to dig a little Frankly my shovel is bent by now I mean he is a fine teacher Walter sure he is he may not be much of a spender But he sure likes to celebrate when the team does okay, you're right about that at the risk of sounding like an elephant I remember a game that they did win It was three years ago and after it we went out to dinner and then a show and then to a cafe to dance sounds terrific Oh, it was mr. Boynton was like a man in a dream In fact, it wasn't until two days later that he realized we didn't go Dutch Oh Bronco will add to your store of happy memories this season miss Brooks, especially with stretch snotgrass in the backfield Oh, what an athlete that kid is he's got a great pair of legs a great pair of arms and a real head on his shoulders That's the best kind You don't get something into that head I know stretch isn't any Einstein in the classroom, but on that field He's a genius and he's sure crazy about Bronco. Yeah, especially after what happened yesterday Did you hear about it? Well, I stretch was pushing a wheelbarrow full of football equipment across the field See when three hoodlums sneaked up on him. Yes I and while two of them held stretch down the other guy made off with the stuff Well Bronco came along about then he saw it was going on and boy did he light into those two guys Yes, I heard about it Why did you make me repeat the whole thing? Adventure story Oh what an athlete that Bronco is used to be heavyweight boxing champion of the Navy, you know Yeah, he was telling mr. Boynton the other day He's gonna give him some tips on the manly art of self-defense. He better not mr. Boynton's defense is tough enough as it is Say there's stretch locking up his bike I stretch old pal Well, miss Brooks good morning stretch No, ma'am. Walter and I would just what do you mean? No, ma'am It's not a good morning. Not only is it not a good morning. It's a rotten morning What's wrong? I got a good mind to quit this old school. That's what I got a good mind to quit But you can't do that stretch not after all the time you've put in Walder's right stretch one more year and you're eligible for a pension Well, this ain't no time to be whismical miss Brooks I'm not being whismical stretch I'm just trying to be realistic. I thought we was gonna have a swell football team this year because we had old Bronco Dawson coaching us But now we ain't we ain't we haven't that's right. We ain't Why ain't we Conklin seen him fighting those rough necks on the school grounds yesterday without giving him any chance to explain Snitch to the board of education had him fired. Oh, we gotta do something. That's not fair Are you sure you've got the fact straight stretch did mr. Conklin just arbitrarily dismissed Bronco exactly he just artabella re-candom Some of the guys in the team are so sore they're talking about not showing up for practice after school But they shouldn't do that. They need the practice. That's what I said. I told them they'd just be spiting their own noses Spiting their own noses sure there must be some other way to get Bronco back Wait a minute. I've got an idea Miss Brooks who was just voted queen of football at Madison? I was correct Now who is the logical candidate to step into mr. Conklin's office and demand Bronco's reinstatement? Would you repeat the question, please? Waller's right miss Brooks. You gotta talk to mr. Conklin. Oh, but boys. I don't carry any weight. Well, you're built as just as good I just don't get along with mr. Conklin. Oh, you've got to do it miss Brooks And think of mr. Boynton you said yourself mr. Boynton's a new man when the team's going good Well, he is but I can see it all now Bronco puts a winning team on the field you and mr. Boynton watch their glorious victory Mr. Boynton takes you out to dinner and then to a movie and after that you go to a nightclub and you dance The music is soft and dreamy and as mr. Boynton holds you in his arms the air is Charged with excitement He holds you tighter and tighter and as you glide over the smooth floor with your face pressed close to his Your ecstasy knows no bounds. You're filled with a delicious sense of well-being You're no longer hungry for romance Starved for affection Well miss Brooks don't wrap those words up. I'll eat them right here We'll continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith Readers digest reports the results of one of the most extensive experiments in dentiferous history Yes, readers digest reports the very same research which proves brushing teeth right after eating with Colgate dental cream Stops tooth decay best and here are additional important facts Over a two-year period the Colgate way stopped more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentiferous history Yes, the Colgate way of brushing teeth right after eating stopped tooth decay best Better than any other home method of oral hygiene even more important There were no new cavities whatever for more than one out of three who used Colgate's as directed No other dentiferous Ammoniated or not has proof of such results the best results ever reported for a dentiferous of any type And you should know that Colgate dental cream while not mentioned by name was the only toothpaste Used in the research reported in July readers digest Yes, Colgate dental cream and only Colgate dental cream was used in this research So always use Colgate's to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and when you follow the Colgate way Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Walter and stretch convinced me that without Bronco Dawson Madison couldn't have a winning football team and I knew that without a winning football team I couldn't have a winning evening with mr. Boynton So I let them aim me in the direction of mr. Conklin's office and wish me good luck Do the best you can miss Brooks remember. We're rooting for you. We sure are miss Brooks Please try your uttermost to get old Bronco reinstrated I'll do whatever I cray and stretch So long miss Brooks Now there goes a great gal. I only hope mr. Conklin's in his pleasant mood Which one is that? When he doesn't bite you on sight Don't worry about his being too rough on anybody today, Walter I think I softened him up for a while when I done what I done this morning. He's probably scared stiff Stretch what did you do? I thought I'd make him sweat a little on a kind of what he'd done to Bronco So I phoned him up and put a handkerchief over the mouthpiece to disguise my voice What did you say to him? I just said hi. I'm mr. Conklin. This is Bronco Dawson. I'm coming to school today and beat your big fat head in Hello Harriet I was just going to drop into your dad's office. Is he busy? Do you know I don't think so? But he's awfully nervous every time he hears a sound he practically jumps under his desk And he's had the custodian put a big lock and chain on his door sounds like he's expecting me Maybe you can find out what's bothering him. He wouldn't tell me a thing. All right, Harriet. I'll see you in class. Bye Who goes there? It's a friend miss Brooks. Are you alone miss Brooks? Yes, sir. I am one moment, please I'll let you in Getting quickly off for good behavior. How you're devastating bomb mose. Just don't tweak me this morning I'll get to the point. What do you want of me? Oh nothing for myself, mr. Conklin? I wanted to talk to you about somebody else who Bronco Dawson Pulley oh, but he isn't mr. Conklin He hasn't had a fair chance to explain their chance You realize that since he heard that I recommended his dismissal to the board He has threatened me with bodily harm Bronco threatened you on the telephone in Dawson's own words miss Brooks He is coming to school today to beat my big fat head in Oh, that's ridiculous mr. Conklin. He wouldn't dare to beat your big fat head in My big fat what? He wouldn't beat in your big fat anything He fused sir, but actually your head is neither big nor fat Well, thank you. It's just pleasingly plump You have made me very happy my dear now get out I'm sorry you just got to listen to reason Bronco was only fighting to protect school property from some hoodlums Stretch snodgrass told me so himself a cock and ball story born of hero worship over mr. Conklin The case is closed in a few days the board will provide us with a new coach I wish you'd reconsider this matter mr. Conklin It means a great deal not only to me, but to the entire student boyton a student body You see the team has just voted me faculty queen congratulations your majesty Now with your permission, I'd like to back away from the royal presence. I've got things to do. Yes, sir Oh One moment just before you came in the custodian told me that some of the players he spoke with Are planning to cut football practice after school today. Yes, I know but that can all be changed I think so too and since you're so popular with the boys It seems entirely possible that you could have a hand in changing it. What are you getting at mr. Conklin? I have another crown for your head queeny You are hereby appointed temporary football coach Oh, but mr. Conklin, there's no need for that if you'll only give bronco a chance to explain The mere fact that he was an all-american fullback and heavyweight champion of the navy is no reason for you to be afraid of him Afraid of him? Who said I was afraid of him? Osgood Conklin fears no man You forget miss brooks that you are speaking to the former captain of the Rutgers tug-of-war team For three years I was anchor man on that team Atlas they used to call me And no matter how tenacious our adversary I could always be dependent upon to see Heavyweight champion of the navy It's just the phone you can come out from under the desk atlas Oh, oh, yes One moment, please This may be another threatening call from bronco miss brooks. I I'll have to ask you to wait in the hall But mr. Conklin, if I lose my temper with him, I may forget to use the king's english Come I'll let you out. Yes, sir Zimmerman's butcher shop I'm very happy to hear from you very happy indeed Well, what does that got to do? You ought to be ashamed of yourself Bronco was the best football coach that madison ever had now, please margaret my actions in this matter were completely justified I simply had to do something if I were a man. I'd come over there and beat your big fat head in See here margaret bronco dorsen engaged in a common brawl on my campus yesterday. He's nothing but a ruffian He's a perfect gentleman. What that's how much of a gentleman He is. He told me himself. He would never hit anyone in the presence of a woman He wouldn't Well, perhaps we'd better discuss this another time margaret. I'll talk to you later. I've been suddenly taken busy. Good day Come in miss brooks. I don't want to seem insistent mr. Conklin, but come in you wonderful woman you Sit down my dear take my chair. I'll squat on the floor Go on go on sit in that swivel chair lean back on it take a nap if you like a nap. You mean I'm awake now Oh, there's the bell mr. Conklin. I've got a class starting You mean we've got a class miss brooks I have long been of the opinion that a man in my position should occasionally refurbish his education And where can I better acquire additional knowledge than by kneeling at the feet of wisdom? Your feet miss brooks if I knew you were coming out of shine my shoes Heavy weights miss brooks. Oh, thanks, mr. Boyden. It was very nice of you to offer your assistance this afternoon I don't know much about football. That's all right, miss brooks Of course, I can't help feeling that mr. Conklin should never have let bronco Dawson go If it's not too late, I'd like to talk to him about it Do you know where I could find mr. Conklin now miss brooks probably in the bottom drawer of his desk He's afraid that bronco is going to beat him up for getting him fired Oh, but that's absurd bronco is a very peaceful sort of chap You know, I got to know him pretty well in recent days. He told me he liked everything about madison Even mr. Conklin. In fact, he was planning on bringing his wife here from millsboro I didn't know bronco was married. He never mentioned having a wife. I know He's an odd one when it comes to women. He's an odd one I I meant he keeps his private life pretty much to himself He sort of confided in me though even told me he had a baby a couple of years ago never mentioned it to his soul Must have been quite a surprise to his wife I guess it's too late to do anything about bronco now. He hasn't even come back to school for his uniform Pardon me, miss brooks. We got the blackboard all set up for skull practice. Good. Get the skulls together and we'll practice Where's the board set up water right near the tackling pit? Of course, those hoodlums stole our tackling dummy yesterday So I had to borrow a big laundry bag from the cafeteria I told kenny paterson to get it stuff with sawdust or something. I hope he didn't forget Hey, get a load of me folks. I borrowed bronco dawson's uniform for today. It's the old number at 99 He wore in college. Oh good old 99 and that yellow jersey is hot stuff. All right Well, how do you like him miss brooks? Now? I know how mustard looks when it's happy But stretch where's your own uniform? Well, that showed up missing one of those hoods glommed on it yesterday while bronco was clobbering the other two How does that go again? I'll translate mr. Boydham stretch means his uniform was pilfered by one brigand while our football coach was taking punitive measures against his confederates How does that go again? Well, we better get going. I want to see if that laundry sack has been stuffed You know honor me have an old bronco's uniform on miss brooks Don't you think I ought to get the first shot at tackle practice? Well, don't look at me stretch You'll have to settle for the sack What are you doing on the athletic field? I was on my way home harriet left the building through the side entrance today But why daddy? Just for kicks You know for a minute, I thought you might be looking for old 99 I was hoping he might have changed your mind about letting him go old 99 Yes, that's what a lot of the kids call bronco dawson. Those are the numerals. He wore on his college uniform He's kept them to this day. I hope I've seen the last of bronco dawson and his numerals I'm afraid you're not going to get your hope daddy. It looks like old 99 is coming out of the gym now. Where? Oh there. Oh dear I'd like to stay and watch some practice, but I've got a date with susie prentice at 315 and I Golly, I'm late. See you later daddy. I've got a run. You've got to run Oh, no, no, I better not. He'd nail me in a minute on this open field I've got to hide. Ah, this laundry bag I'll just hop in here and pull the string champion of the navy yet This dummy will you folks? All right, waller. I'll help too I'm glad kenny didn't forget to stuff it from the way it feels. It must have stuffed it with blubber It was just hoisted up between these uprights. Yeah Remember fellas hit it low and hit it hard. Come on stretch. You started off. Okay. Here goes That's a pretty nice tackle stretch, but a little too low. What do you mean too low, mr. Boyden? I thought I hit it just right. Why don't you show him what you mean, mr. Boyden? Me but I haven't played football in years. Oh go ahead, mr. Boyden with your physique. You'll grind that old sack in the powder Well, I'll try it if you want me to I'll get a good running start Now stretch mr. Boyden can probably teach you plenty so stop that groaning fool me Wonderful mr. Boyden, but you can feel hard. You knocked the wind out of yourself No, I didn't I feel great gosh. Look at that sack. It's all lopsided Tides at once It's often necessary for two men to bring down the ball carrier now stretch you hit him high and I'll hit him low Right, mr. Boyden this time. I'll make that old sack holler uncle Uncle No, sir, didn't you say something? No, waldo. Was that you not me? Was it you mr. Brooks? It wasn't me Isn't anyone going to ask me The sack it talked Oh, it sounds like mr. Conklin's in there. Oh heavens quick release those pulleys. I'll get the draw strings Yes, mr. Brooks, it is and I blame you for this entire outrage Me but I you knew I was threatened by bronco dosen You knew I was trying to hide from it and what more logical place for me to hide Than here in this laundry bag, but that's not fair mr. Conklin. I like you should have known I was in there when you helped hoist me up I'm sorry, mr. Conklin. I have an ironclad alibi an alibi Yes, sir. Just take a look at the size of that bag. What does that got to do with it? I couldn't possibly think that even you were that big a dummy Brooks returns in just a moment, but first Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you kadoom its magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your charming glory to a luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well by dint of some fast talking I convinced mr. Conklin that I wasn't the one responsible for his bruised condition Of course walter stretch and the rest of the team showed amazing loyalty as soon as the bag was opened They ran giggling into the hills Then mr. Boykin went to the gym for some iodine and I tried to soothe mr. Conklin He certainly was banged up. There was a big lump here small lump there here a lump there a lump As good conklin was a mess Miss Brooks, do you know what I'll do if I ever get my hands on that bronco Dawson? Yes, sir. You'll hold his arms now lie still mr. Conklin. Hi miss Brooks Why is daddy stretched out on fun? Take it easy harry. It's your daddy's been helping the football team, but the way he locks He's worried harry. He's a little concerned over bronco's possible reaction to being fired But bronco doesn't even know he's been fired. Watch that The board wasn't to notify him until this morning and he left town last night I just stopped home for a minute daddy and found this wire for you. Oh, let me see that where are my glasses Oh, they were in my best pocket You'll read it miss Brooks. All right Dear mr. Conklin called home to millsboro last night Wife presented me with seven found fullback have taken job coaching millsboro high No, you'll understand. Thanks for everything bronco Dawson Well, all's well that ends well Ends well I'm nothing but a mass of welts and bruises, but you're just thinking of yourself mr. Conklin. What about poor bronco? Poor bronco. Yes. Now. He'll never get a chance to beat your big fat head in And cold gay dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss brook starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al louis and joe quillen with music by wilbur hatch Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler. Mr. Conklin by gale gordon Others in tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crana gloria mcmillan and lannard smith You want a beauty soap for a beauty bath and your bath becomes a beauty bath when you change to proper cleansing with palm olive soap For bathing with this beauty soap brings you the full beautifying effects of palm olives mild and gentle lather Proved by doctors to bring most women lovelier complexions in just 14 days Bath size palm olive is designed to give you everything you need for all over beauty care fragrance for daintiness mildness for loveliness purity for gentleness big bath size for thriftiness so get big bath size palm olive so mild so pure so right for all of you If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills be sure to hear mr. And mrs. North every tuesday over the same network don't miss the exciting and laughable adventures of these amateur detectives Here mr. And mrs. North every tuesday night and be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bob laman speaking