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On your next trip to the cigarette counter, be happy. Go Lucky. You'll find, Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky Strike! Lucky Strike! The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Murray Livingston Rochester, Dennis Day by Prosby, the sportsman for Kent, and Hearst truly, Dodwell. Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to take you back to New Year's Day. It's morning and Jack Benny has just finished his breakfast. Do you want anything else, boss? No, no, that's enough. You know, I never feel like eating too much after a big night out. Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you, what did you do in New Year's Eve? Well, I went to a night club where they gave you all the drinks and all the food you wanted for $6. All the food you wanted, eh? Yeah. Rochester, before you put my tuxedo away, take the lamb chops out of the pocket. Now let's get the table cleaned off and I'll help you with the dishes. I don't want to be late for the Rose Bowl game. Okay, I'll do the dishes. No, no Rochester, I'll do them. I want to try out that new electric dishwasher I got for Christmas. But boss, there's something wrong with it. Nonsense, you probably don't know how to operate it. I'll show you how. Now you put the dirty dishes in like this and you close the door. Now you turn on the switch. Ya-da-dee-da-dum-ba-dee-da-dum Da-dum bum-dee-da-da-dum Da-dum bum-dee-da-da-dum There, that ought to be enough. And now to take the dishes out, you open the door like this. Boss, there's something wrong with it. Well, there shouldn't be, it's a new machine. I'm going to try it again. Get some more dishes out of the cupboard. But boss! Open the cupboard. Okay. What was that? Those are the dishes I watched yesterday. I can't understand what's wrong. Neither can I. I put it together the same day that I assembled the other kitchen appliances. Yeah, I don't see why it should break the dishes. Looks all right from the outside. Let's take a look on the inside then. Oh, for heaven's sakes, Rochester. Look at the egg beater belongs on the Mixmaster. Not in the dishwasher. Then I must have put the part from the dishwasher in the Mixmaster. Why? Well, this morning I tried to mix the cake. When I turned on the switch, a big arm came out, grabbed me by the back of the neck, threw me in the bowl and scrubbed me on both sides. What? And before I knew it, I was sitting in the cupboard on a third shelf. He had even put some away for you. Rochester, call the appliance company and tell them to come out and fix the machine. I'll get the door. You finish the dishes. Coming, coming. Coming, coming. Hello, Polly. Hello, Jack. Oh, hello, Bob. I thought you were going to the Rose Bowl game too. Well, I am, but I decided to come by here to talk to you first. What about? I'd rather not talk about it here. Can we go in the den? Certainly, Bob. Follow me. Well, here we are. What is it you want to talk to me about? They close the door first, Jack, please. Okay. What is it, Bob? What is it? Would you mind closing the window? The window? Well, all right. And pull the shade down too. Bob, for heaven's sakes, what's the matter? What do you want to talk to me about? Jack, you've got to stop kidding me about the way that I say Manasheva verbits. Oh, Bob, that's not important. After all, it was just a little fluff. Little fluff, little fluff. Quiet, Bob. Anyway, Bob, Bob, it's nothing to worry about. Well, I know, but you began kidding me about it and my wife began teasing me and she showed me how that all of our kids could pronounce it. Well, that's not... Wait a minute. Your youngest daughter is only seven months old. She can't even talk. Well, she still says it better than I do. No. Yes, and it's not my fault either. I tried to learn how to say it. I must have some sort of a mental block because I can never say it right. Well, look, Bob, let me help you. Don't worry about it. Let me help you. Now, let's break it up into syllables and work on it. Okay. Now, look, repeat after me. Manasheva verbits. Manasheva verbits. Manasheva verbits. No, no, look, Bob, let's try it again, Bob. Now, don't be nervous. Let's try it again. Now, try it. Manasheva verbits. Manasheva verbits. Bob, look, I know you can get it. Now, let's try it again. Manasheva verbits. Oh, darling, now you've got me doing it. Let's try it again. What? Manasheva verbits. Manasheva verbits. Manasheva verbits. You know, Polly is the only smart one here. Now, Bob, stop worrying about a little mistake. It's nothing. After all, your singing is the most important thing. Oh, now, wait a minute, Jack. I'm primarily known as a band leader, not a singer. What are you talking about? You have one of the best voices in the country. I'd be happy if I had the best voice in my family. What? Well, I was second till Gary grew up. Say, Jack, I'd better be running along. You want me to give you a lift to the game? No, thanks, Bob. Rochester's going to drive me. Okay, see you later. I'll see you at the door. Oh, there's a phone. Well, you go answer it. I can walk to the door myself. Oh, yes, you're different from the other musician. I'll see you later, Bob. So long. Hello? Hello, Jack. This is Don. Oh, hello, Don. I'm waiting for you. I'm afraid you'll have to go into the game without me, Jack. Why, what's wrong? Well, you know that new car the MG my wife gave me for Christmas? Oh, yes, Don, that little English car. He had certainly a sporty job. Yeah, I know, but it's been giving me trouble for the last three days. What's the matter? Can't you get it started? No, I can't get it off. I feel on that one. Yeah, yeah, I feel on that one. Maybe a bit on that one. Now, Don, hurry over. We still have to pick up my new girlfriend, Iris. I want to take her to the game. Well, Jack, I've been thinking it over, and I don't feel that I should go with you. But, Don, we were going to the game, and then we were going to come back to my house and have dinner together and make an evening of it. I know, Jack, but it'll be better without me. After all, you know the old saying, two's company frees a crowd. Well, Don, in your case, one, no, it's a new year. I won't say it. I won't say it. Well, I'll tell Iris. I'll tell Iris you couldn't come. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, Rochester. Rochester. Yes, boss. Mr. Wilson won't be here for dinner tonight. It'll be just the young lady and myself. Yes, sir. Now, Rochester, this young lady, this girlfriend of mine, has never had dinner at my house, and I'd like to impress her. Oh, don't worry, boss. The table is set beautifully. Flowers and you'll eat by candlelight. Good, good. What'd you do about the champagne? Same as always, I took a cold bottle of 7-0 and slapped a mom's label on it. What? And when you open it, I'll be behind the screen with my popcorn. Oh, good. Shall we synchronize our watches now? Okay, I've got 11-17 and a half. Roger. Okay. I want everything to go off smoothly. I'll get it. You finish everything in the kitchen. Yes, sir. Coming, coming. Oh, hello, Dennis. On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin, plunge right through that line. Look, Dennis, Dennis. Yes, just come in the house. Yes, sir. Run that ball clear round the Rose Bowl to touch down sure this time. Dennis. On Wisconsin. Dennis. Why are you singing Wisconsin's song? Oh, I'm going to cheer for them today at the game. But why? Because I want Wisconsin to win. By Dennis, isn't that being a little disloyal? After all, you've been living here in Southern California for nearly 15 years. Living here, yes, but look where I was born. Oh, were you born in Wisconsin? No, in New York. Wait a minute, Dennis, this is the start of a new year. Don't make me mad. Okay, but say, Mr. Benny, if you like Southern California and I'm rooting for Wisconsin, maybe we could make a little bet. Well, all right, Dennis, how much would you like to bet? Two million dollars. Oh, two million dollars, eh? Uh-huh. Well, Dennis, may I ask you something? Where in the world would you get two million dollars? I could borrow it from the boys in the band. Oh, fine. I guess they have two million dollars. Uh-huh. And when, pray tell, did the boys in the band get two million dollars? A couple of years ago from someone named Brinks. They did not. They weren't even in Boston at the time. But wait a minute. Remli was off that week. No, no, they never, they never, they never stooped to robbery. Oh, no, you ought to see Bagby dressed up as an old woman. Love, Dennis, please go to the game. Yes, sir. Goodbye. Bye. All right, Chester. Yes, boss? Uh, you better get the car out. I've got to pick up my girl Iris. Gee, Iris, I, I never saw you look so nice. You're sure pretty when you're all dialed up. This dress cost me 30 bucks. Certainly looks nice. Boy, am I lucky I met you. You know, Iris, I never would have met you if I hadn't been hungry that night out. I'll never forget. I was driving along looking for a place to eat, and I drove right past Syros and the Macambo, and it was just faith that made me turn into Simon's drive-in. And there, like a vision of loveliness, you came toward me. Gee, you smell so good. Yeah, it was chicken gumbo night. 25 cents a bowl, a meal in itself. Yeah, but I'm really the lucky one. Imagine me going out with a rich guy like you. A guy who would have hooked an afford to wear a coat with a fur collar. Fur collar? Boss, it slipped off again. Never mind, Rochester, and watch your driving. Look at that sign that says speed limit 25 miles an hour. I got a wide open, but you'll never make it. Rochester, drive up to the Rose Bowl entrance and let us off. Then you can park the car. Yes, sir. Come on, Iris, and hold my hand so we won't get separated. Tickets, tickets, hold your own tickets, please. Here you are. Hello, Eddie. Hello, Iris. What's the special for tonight? Beef soup and boiled potatoes. Come on, Iris, forget business for a while. Okay. Now, let's see, our seats are entitled... Hi, Jack. Oh, hello, Bob. So you know Iris, don't you? Sure. Say, Iris, are you still working at the Shamrock Cafe? No, I'm back at the drive-in. Jack thought I ought to be outside where it's healthier. Done right. What's the use of being in California if you can't enjoy the sun? Yeah, but I sure wish I could get off the night shift. You will, honey. Just save your tips. That's all. I do, but every time I get a little ahead, you want to go to a movie or something. Well, it won't always be that way. Hey, look who's here. Hi, Iris. Happy New Year. Same to you, Lefty. Lefty? You know everybody, don't you? That's Lefty Flanagan. What is for? He always orders a la carte. Well, don't talk to him. But Lefty's a big tipper. Oh, hi, Lefty. Now, let's see. Where do we... Hello, Mr. Benny. Why, Mr. Kitzel? Mr. Kitzel, what are you doing here? That question. I'm here to see the game, of course. Oh, oh, do you have trouble getting tickets? Yeah, I had trouble. I came here the day before they were put on sale, and I stood in line all night. Oh, yes, people do stay in line all night for the Rose Bowl game. What happened in the morning? The box office opened at 7. I waited my phone, bought my tickets, but they turned out to be tickets to a burleshow. Tickets to a burleshow? How could they make a mistake like that? I made a mistake. In the smog, I got in the wrong line. Oh, are you here at the game alone? No, I got to meet my wife, which is not here yet. Oh, that's too bad. I'd like to have seen her again. Tell me, has she lost any weight? No, that's why she's delayed. How could that delay her? She was carrying a corsage of roses, and they thought she was a float in the parade. Oh, Mr. Kitzel, you're joking. Joking, Kitzel? She won second prize. What do you know? Well, we better get to our seats. I hope you enjoy the game. Oh, this is our certainty. Well, goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye, Mr. Kitzel. Oh, Mr. Benny. You know it's a coincidence running into you today because it was exactly six years ago, the Rose Bowl game that I first met you. Say, that's right. You had a little hot dog stand here. Yeah, and I made so much money for my hot dog stand that I opened a little cafe and sold hamburgers and quick lunches. Well, these two were successful, so I went downtown and I opened up a regular, fine, big restaurant which became very popular. Isn't that wonderful. Then I built branches in Glendale, Pomona, Bowie Bank, and Pasadena. No. To supply my chain of restaurants, I opened a meat-packing house and my own bakery. Say, your business really grew. Groo-hoo-hoo! Last week, I sold out everything. You did? Yeah, and after paying all my income taxes, I will have enough money. To retire? No, to buy a hot dog stand. This is my third time around. Good luck again. See you later. Come on, Iris. Let's get to our seats. Hey, Jack, I'll be right with you. I'm going to go get some program. Okay, hurry up, Bob. Now, come on, Iris. Our seat should be in this aisle here. Stop, please. Let's see the numbers in your stops. Here you are, I sure. Right this way up this aisle, the row number. Oh, hello, Iris. Hello, Nick. How are things? Fine, I'm on parole now. Come on, come on, Iris, for heaven's sake. Bob, let's get to our seats. Okay. Hey, here comes the band out on the field. Yeah, look it there. They're spilling out LS, MFT. Well, naturally. On college campuses all over the country. Lucky strike sells more than the two other leading brands combined. Hey, don't they look nice marching up and down the field? Boy, just look at them. Yeah. Say, these seats are okay, are they? They sure are. Yeah, we can see the whole field swell. They're finding me, folks, finding me. Huh? What do you think I ought to get my wife for Christmas? Mr. Christmas was a week ago. This is New Year's. You mean it's already 1949? 1953. Oh my goodness, I'd better get home. What about your wife? Well, I can't because she's here at the Rose Bowl game. Have you seen her? For heaven's sake, I don't even know your wife. Now, leave us alone. Okay. Hap! Jay, it's a shame that a guy in that condition being allowed to get out. Yeah. Are you comfortable, Iris? Uh-huh. Only I'm a little hungry. Hungry? Say, if you want me to, I'll go get some hot dogs. Okay, go ahead, Bob. Bring three hot dogs. Okay, I'll be right back. What about mustard? I got some in my pocket. I came straight from work. Yes, Bob. Just get the frankfurter. Okay, I'll be right back. You know, Iris, I think this game will be one of the best. Pardon me, folks. Pardon me, folks. Oh, no, it's the happy time again. What is it now? Have you seen my wife? Look, mister, I never saw your wife in my life. I don't know her. Now, leave me alone. Okay, okay. Hap! Be there yet! All games. Yeah. If this wasn't going to be... Hey, look! Look, a guy just jumped out of a plane in a parachute. Hey, he's trying to land right here at the Rose Bowl. Of all the silly things to do. I wonder who would... Hello, Mr. Benny! What a crazy guy. Hey, here I am with the hot dogs, kids. Oh, thanks, Bob. Yeah, thanks. Well, I just got back in time. Hey, look, there comes the USC team out on the field. Boy, they are a musky bunch of guys. And just listen to that crowd. Hey, here they come and write past us. Hello, Iris! I'll take you to a football game and you know everybody. Well, I can't help it. The boys on the USC football team always eat at the drive-in. They are like me. Well... In fact, they voted me Miss Unnecessary Roughness of 1952. I don't care what offer I have. And say, here comes that drunk again. Isn't that all? Hey, pardon me, Mr. Have you said my wife? Look, I told you I don't even know... Hey, Iris. Iris, watch me fix him. What did you say, mister? Have you said my wife? Yes, yes. As a matter of fact, that's her sitting there two rows in front of us. The lady in the red hat. Oh, thank you. I'm sorry I'm late, sweetheart. What took you so long getting here? How do you like that? Out of a hundred thousand people, I picked the right one. That's amazing. I'm glad you got rid of him, so he won't bother us during the game. Say, Bob, you're really a rabid football fan, aren't you? I sure am. In fact, I'm so interested in the game that I'm writing a book based on the life of that all-American linebacker from UCLA. What's the name of the book? I remember Mooma. Oh, Bob, that's one of the worst things. Hey, look, Jack, look, here comes the Wisconsin team. Say, those Wisconsin players look awfully good, too, don't they, Iris? They sure do. Well, that's the last straw. I'm leaving. I'm not even going to stay and see the game. Now, let me tell you something else, Iris. You and I are through. Our engagement is broken. Wait a minute. If you're breaking the engagement, what about the ring? I'm not giving it back to you. Your father. Ladies and gentlemen, when a fella needs a friend, he needs a helping hand. And the hands of the big brothers have helped thousands of growing boys to find the way to a useful life. Be a big brother yourself. All you have to invest is your time and your interest. Write Big Brothers of America, Philadelphia 3, Pennsylvania. Thank you. Jack, we'll be back in just a moment, but first, nothing. Know nothing beats better taste. And remember, Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. For Lucky's right means, time to back off Richard's tasting. Time to back off. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky strike, lucky strike. Friends, it stands to reason. The cigarette for you to smoke is the one that tastes better because when all is said and done, nothing. Know nothing beats better taste. And Lucky's taste cleaner, fresher, and smoother. You'll agree once you try them, and here's why. Lucky's better taste really begins with fine tobacco. Most anyone can tell you, L.S.M.F.T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco with a wonderful aroma and even better taste. And Lucky's also taste better because they're made better. They're round and firm and fully packed to draw freely and smoke evenly to give you a cleaner, fresher, smoother smoke. So get the better taste that fine tobacco and a better made cigarette can give. When you buy cigarettes, ask for Lucky strike. Be happy, go lucky, get better taste today. Good night, everybody. We're a little late. Be sure to hear the American way, starring Horace Hight for Lucky strike every Thursday night over the station. I'm sure you'll enjoy this great new program. Consult your newspaper for the time. Jack Benny program is written by Sam Perrin, Milt Josephsburg, George Balzer, John Packaberry produced and transcribed by Hilliard Marks. Jack Benny program is brought to you by Lucky strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes. Thank you now for the Amazon Andy show which follows immediately over most of these same stations. This is the CBS Radio Network.