 Today, we're going to talk about what keeps a man's interest, and we're going to discuss five feminine ways to keep his interest. Now, before I jump into this video, I want to share with you a TikTok video I watched earlier today. It was sent by a friend, and it's by a comedian, and she talks about the difference between men and women, and one of the difference, she says, when a woman has had really a great first date with a man, and she's telling her girlfriends, she's like, well, he's tall, he's handsome, he's got a nice car, he works at such and such place, he's got this, you know, from what I understand, he has a really nice home, or he owns his own. So that's the way women describe a really great date. And then the comedian goes on to say how a man describes a great date. She's like, oh my God, she's so amazing. I felt so wonderful with her. There was electricity between us. It was intense. I got to tell you guys, it was awesome. So what's the difference between men and women? I think men actually tap into their feelings. In other words, they choose women based on how they feel. I'm going to repeat that. Men choose women based on how they feel with this person. That's the ones they go the distance with. Now shortly after watching this video, I watched another video from a biologist talking about oxytocin. And if you're not familiar with oxytocin, it's a chemical that's released from the brain that makes us bond to, I believe it's actually how children bond with their mothers, but this also happens during physical intimacy. And she talked about how when women have physical intimacy with a man, it releases this chemical oxytocin and it bonds her to the man, especially if they have frequent physical intimacy. Now what's interesting about men is they release testosterone when they ejaculate and that's not a bonding hormone. However, some men will release oxytocin and that's when he feels genuine bonding for this person. I shouldn't say genuine. We're going to talk about that. Is it really genuine or is it biology? But he will bond to this person. So I think this is important where we have to differentiate some of the differences between men and women and I want to lean into this conversation before I get to those five feminine ways to keep his interest. So I once did a video, I've done a couple of videos, on the 11 ways to get inside a man's mind. And in this, I'm talking about the differences between men and women. So let's talk about some differences between men and women. Well, men instinctually, instinctually are hunters, providers, and women instinctually are nurturers and gatherers. Okay, that's all that cave person stuff. And within the cave person stuff is our biology. We talk about hormones and pheromones. Men have a significant high level of testosterone, where women have a high level of estrogen, and there are other home hormones that play a part in the makeup of an individual. Okay, so these are differentiating between men and women. Now, interesting, we have to add socialization. And certainly for those of us that are baby boomers and Gen Xers versus the younger generation, there has been a significant socialization between the differences between boys and girls. For example, boys are taught to stuff their emotions. Certainly the baby boomers, Gen Xers. Girls are oftentimes objectified based on looks. I mean, we've had some real socialization that plays into the makeup of our human behavior. And I think it's really important to address this. In addition, we have our imprinting, imprinting. In other words, folks, each individual has been raised by individuals that aren't really good at raising children. Whether you have a mother or father or some other caretaker in your life, like a grandmother, a sibling, aunt or uncle, or even in the foster system, we are imprinted by those who raise us in those early formative years. And for many of us, we've experienced childhood wounds and traumas, childhood wounds and traumas. And also, there's something known as love attachment style. If you're not familiar with the work of Amir Levine and Rachel Heller or Dr. Stan Tatkin, I will highly or even the work of Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt learning about love attachment style, learning about Amago. This is how we perceive love in the world. So a lot of, you know, I know a lot of YouTubers are men or the provider protectors and a woman's role is just to cherish a man, to respect a man and do whatever he says because he's the provider protector. And your job is to make sure that he is so happy and ridiculously happy in the relationship. This relationship will never falter. Well, that's facing it on the instinctual aspects of a relationship. Now we're going to get into the nitty-gritty, the socialization, the imprinting that happens and whether, remember I said childhood wounds and traumas? Well, folks, some people have had significant traumas in their life and their childhood. Some have had mild traumas. Most everybody has had some level of micro or like mini traumas or some substantial trauma like maybe some level of abuse, physical, sexual, that sort of thing. So this plays a part in human nature. And then we have to add age and life experience. You know, a person in their 20s and 30s is going to be vastly different than a person in their 50s or 60s. And within life experience, we can have our own set of adult traumas. We could have divorce. We could have job issues going on. We could have health issues. We could be supporting children in a divorced relationship and it can be very chaotic. And this plays all into the stew of who we are as individuals. And let's not forget our cultural and our religious upbringing. If we had any, certainly there's a big difference between someone who's from a Latin culture versus a Northern European culture or an Asian culture. This plays and how you're raised is plays a makeup into who you are as a person. And let's not also forget our social economic status. Did we grow up poor? Did we grow up rich? Did we grow up middle class? This plays a factor in all this. And then our own physical well-being, our health, are we actively nurturing our bodies, these machines to keep us going for as long so we can experience all the juicy, delicious aspects of a healthy, happy relationship. And of course we have to consider those people that are introspective, that do personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. Those people have a different outlook because possibly they've been working on their childhood wounds and traumas. I can speak from personal experience. It's one of the reasons why I wrote a book called What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help, and Spiritual Work. There's a link below to get a copy of my book. But understanding this stew that makes up a person will help you identify what will keep a person's interest. What does keep a person's interest? What keeps a person wanting to come back? Well, we have to understand human behavior. Oh, let me reframe that. I'm inviting you to understand human behavior. It's an invitation. So you can naively just assume, well, if we have physical attraction, that's all we need to have success in a relationship. And while I will admit that physical attraction and chemistry are an important component for a healthy, happy relationship, it is very important. It's important to recognize that shared values is equally important. For those in midlife, the capacity to blend lives together is critically important. And someone's emotional maturity also plays a huge part in this conversation. See, we are swimming in a sea of emotional dysfunctionality out there in the dating realm. Now, I don't say that to be an alarmist. In fact, I don't even like saying it. I feel a level of resistance wanting to say that at the same time. It's like, okay, I know if I saw a flame in front of me, oh, it's pretty, I should touch it. I know not to touch the flame. So what I'm here to say is, I'm a big proponent of individuals doing that personal development, self-help spiritual work. So they can actually form a better dynamic within themselves so they can operate in relationship. I truly believe that, as I said earlier, we have a dysfunctional dating pool. It's because most humans have terrible relationship skills. And ladies, you're not immune to this. I gotta tell you, because my audience is women, it seems like everybody thinks they're the exception and not the norm. Every human being thinks, oh, I'm the exception. Everybody else is dysfunctional, but I'm functional. This is the delusion we're swimming in, and men are just as equally as guilty of this. I'm getting together with a group of men this afternoon. Once every four months we have, it's kind of like group therapy meets camping, if you will. These are men who, the goal, the title of our workshop is fall down, get back up. These are men who actually want to improve themselves. There are a significant percentage of men who are doing the inner work. So let me just say this, there's a lot of criticism that pigeonholes men as being narcissists and sociopaths and players and all this stuff. I'm gonna say there's equally as many women and there's equally as many women and men doing the inner work. This is where, if you need some support with that, by the way, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me. There's a link below in the show notes. If you need some support on how to differentiate the men who are ready for the kind of feminine ways we're gonna talk about, then reach out to me and schedule a call. Okay, so let's dive into, oh, and one last thing. Many of you know I harp on the whole masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy means you should just lean back in your feminine and let the guy claim you. Folks, I'm here to say, I just, I think human beings should just operate at being a good human being. Excuse my slurping. I subscribed to personhood. By the way, my coffee mug says swear a little, you'll feel better. So what I'm about to share these five feminine ways that are not feminine, they're not masculine. These are just five good things to be contemplating to keep a person interest in both the, both couples should be, should, well not should, there never should be a should. I'm encouraging both couples to operate from these five ways. Number one, easygoing personality. Number one, number one, easygoing personality. You know, we've got a lot of uptight people in the dating marketplace. We have a lot of arrogant people. We have a lot of entitled people. We have a lot of broken people. And they just don't op. And then there's all these people that have rigid rules. I got to tell you, if there's one thing to keep a person's interest, I'm going to say, having an easygoing personality is a must. If you have a hyper neurotic personality that makes it difficult for you to be with you, folks, whether it's a guy or a girl, it's not going to be fun to be with this person. Having an easygoing personality is critically important. Do you know what drama is in a relationship? You know how men always say, I don't want drama. I don't want drama. I don't want drama. What they're really saying is I want a person with an easygoing personality. But what drama is, is you have an expectation of emotions at this level, his capacity, or it could be the other way around, his, their capacity. Okay. One person's capacity is at this level. Another person's capacity at this level. And the space in between, that's called drama. And I've observed this too much. The second critical way to keep a person's interest comes back to my book, self-love. See, self-love isn't just, I love myself. I'm going to do my manicures and pedicures and massages. That's not self-love. By the way, manicures, pedicures, massages, that's self-care. Self-love is self-respect, self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem, self-reliance, self-introspection, self-introspection. That's what self-love encompasses. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? If it is, please hit that like button right now. Let me know. I think another, since this is women, feminine ways, and again, these are just ways to keep a man or woman's interest. The third one is clearly knowing what you want. I got to tell you, women come to me all the time in my private coaching. Jonathan, I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want in relationship. Then they go through this proprietary coaching program I created. Can you guess what they say every single time? I didn't know what I wanted. Why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this? Many of you don't have a clear understanding of your standards. It's all nebulous. It's in the clouds. It's not concrete. It's not granular. And when you are uncertain in your standards, other than maybe your standard is, I want them tall, I mean, it's funny. I, by the way, many of you know I'm sadly single again. I shouldn't say sadly. I'm going to say happily. Happily in that I want to embrace it. And two days ago, I signed up back on Bumble. Okay? And I can't tell you how many profiles saying I like to wear heels. I'm six foot tall when I wear heels. I am this tall when I wear heels. I like to wear heels. I'm like, okay, we get it. You like to wear heels. But the fact that you announced that, okay, I'm going off on a tangent here. But my point is, is that really the most important standard that you like to wear heels, or wouldn't it be a man of character, a man of commitment, a man of compassion, a man of empathy? Wouldn't that be more important in your dating profile than the fact that you wear high heels? See, it comes back to the initial what I said about the comedian. You know, he was tall. He was handsome. He was this. He was that. You're focused on the egoic aspects of relationship. Believe it or not, men actually date based on how they feel with you. Now, in the early stages, sadly, we're feeling lust or limerence. So it's all driven by our penises to try to get inside the vagina. But when you have standards, you can do the fourth critical piece to keep a person's interest and have boundaries for those emotionally grown-up men. For those emotionally grown-up men. When I said five feminine ways to keep his interest, I'm talking five feminine ways to keep an emotional grown-up man's interest. An emotional grown-up man only respects and cherishes women who have self-respect. And that means that they can clearly establish their boundaries. And a boundary is recognition of what your standard is and upholding that standard. And many of you collapse your standards because you can wear heels with them. And so knowing, and by the way, a boundary is simply what's okay and what's not okay for me. If you're not familiar with the work of Brene Brown, I like the way she described it is what I just said. What's okay and what's not okay for me. That's a boundary. And it's important to establish your boundaries, but you won't be able to establish a boundary if you don't know your standards. And sadly, the minute we have chemistry with someone, many of us, myself included, will abandon our standards. I'm yelling, by the way. But I'm not swearing. We'll abandon our standards, which is really not establishing boundaries. And an emotional grown-up man appreciates a woman who has boundaries. Now the fifth thing, now maybe I'm saying this because I'm a guy, but I was watching a video from a married woman who said she'd been married now for 17 years. And her and her husband made an agreement that they would never go 48 hours without physical intimacy. It would never go 48 hours without physical intimacy. So sex is kind of the icing on the cake for a relationship. And it's important to establish a very healthy, physically intimate relationship with someone. And in the case of this couple, it seems like the idea of having it regular and an agreement to it is because it releases oxytocin for the man and the woman. It bonds us to a partner. It releases all these other juicy, delicious chemicals, like I said, oxytocin, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, and serotonin. It's not about the early stage of keeping interest. I'm talking about establishing a healthy, physically intimate relationship to keep this relationship bonded from a long-term perspective because sadly today our dating marketplace is just riddled with casual relationships. And it's missing an important component that I want to end on this note. And this isn't the five ways of keeping his interest. This is about the recognition that ladies, a man of character wants commitment and he establishes commitment as a part of his character. And if commitment isn't part of your makeup and your relationship, then you will simply be in a casual relationship. Without commitment, you're just using somebody. Now, I'm not talking about the first month or two of dating. I'm talking about the minute you two people become physically intimate. There should be an agreement of monogamy, exclusivity, calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and some level of understanding that this has a long-term plan instead of a short-term plan. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Because I got to tell you, a lot of you abandon your standards and then you blame the guy as the problem and you got to look in the mirror and say, if I've abandoned my standards, it's on me, not on them. I hope this is sinking in. If it is, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Hit that notification bell. By the way, the link's below to schedule a discovery call with me. Join me on my Facebook group called Midlife Love Mastery. Follow me on Instagram. Check out all the books I recommend in the show notes. All right, for those who know my format, it is time for questions. If you have a question, write the word question in the chat box. Write the word question in the chat box and then post your question there after or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. All the moneys from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. Look at him right there at age three eating chocolate syrup out of a bowl. It's my son who passed away five years ago in his honor. We donate to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight Institute. And our goal today is $50. So let's get some money for the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. And again, if you're watching the replay, you can purchase a Super Thanks as well. All right, let's see what kind of comments we have here so far. We've got Good Morning from North Carolina. Esther says, that's interesting. You are single. Do you mind if I explain what you think happened for the breakdown and interested to know? Folks, there is a video called Letting Go in my live playlist if you want to get a grander explanation of it. I will say this. What I've been able to process over these three months is, well, we were getting to know each other and we seem like we are on the same page in where our life trajectory was. And as you're getting to know each other, we thought we were on the same page. But what I recognized is she really had a different trajectory for her life and I had a different trajectory in my life. Now, I think many of you know it was a long-distance dynamic. And we felt that if we're going to give this relationship a chance, we should move in together. Now, that's a role of the dice. Do I recommend this for everybody? No, you have to have, first off, if you're going to do long-distance dating, you have to have the resources and you have to have the flexibility. Otherwise, the likelihood is slim and you have to have a plan of taking the distance from long to short. So in five months, we agreed to move in together. And we were certainly caught up in the lust and the limerence and the honeymoon phase of everything. That's what bonds people together. But for those of us in midlife that have established lives, knowing we seem to be on the same trajectory, but as she got more immersed in living in California, she just didn't like living here. She had different plans for herself. And so she came to the conclusion that she would like to move and I wasn't invited. It was more of she had to find herself. And I recognize that she openly admits that she has wounds from her past that are still unhealed and she wants to go work on herself. And so out of courtesy to me, she's like, I can't be in this relationship because I'm not feeling like I've got to work on myself. I need to be with my family and I understood that. And so what I've gained in this experience and oh my God, I am so grateful on so many levels. And even though it didn't go the distance and I had, listen, I was all in folks. I was all in. I'm very clear. I'm operating from an all in perspective. I'm operating from a commitment perspective. I'm operating from a place of desiring marriage. I'm very clear on that. What I learned in this experience and again get so much to be grateful for is this one missing piece in my coaching practice. I didn't, you know, this is how humans learn. We have to experience things to learn. And what I simply am, folks, what I simply am is a passer-on of information. I learned something and then I share it with people. And what I learned was really this piece of the puzzle amongst a lot of different pieces. It's not just about shared values. Folks, you might know my charts, my relationship iceberg chart. See, attraction is the first thing we see. And I talk about shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. I think she and I had pretty fairly strong emotional maturity. Our lifestyles may be blendable. Maybe not. We live together very well. We seem to have the same values. But what's missing is a shared vision. See, for those of us in midlife, a shared vision is so critically important. It's not just, now we could say a vision is a value. So it's possible we can look at that. Or the blending lives might be a piece of that vision. But I didn't realize it wasn't until Catherine Woodward Thomas, who is a dear friend of mine, she wrote the book. By the way, there's a copy of the book below. She wrote the book, Calling in the One. She said to me, Jonathan, the type of woman that's ideal for you is a woman who has the same mission. You have a mission in life to be a, you know, I have a mission in a life, my life, to expose people to personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. And it's most likely you need someone who's on board with that mission. It's their mission as well. And I didn't realize how this played a part in the differences of, while we were coming closer together, we started to pull apart because we had two different visions of our lives. And you don't learn this until you're experiencing it. So coming back to your question, I'm just giving you a sneak version, but I would say check out that video as well. Folks, did you find value in this conversation about shared vision? If you did, just simply say, Jonathan, I love shared vision. And I'd like, you know, if you want to hear more, we can talk about it. All right. All right, Corny Cobb is in the house. We haven't seen you in a while. Could you please speak about how to move forward in a relationship after deception? So I think a lot of times we can perceive a deception from a victim mentality. So if you are operating from a place of victim consciousness, then I would invite everybody to heal that piece. So let's think of some deceptions. You've agreed to monogamy and exclusivity and someone sleeps with someone else. They didn't honor their vow or their word. Now, a lot of people are in casual relationships, so there is no commitment of monogamy and exclusivity. So having sex with someone else is absolutely legitimate, even though you think otherwise. Now, what other types of deception? Maybe stealing money from someone, being deceptive in that sense. What other types of deception? See, I think the hard part is humans deceive themselves particularly when it comes to their feelings. I think most humans have a real poor understanding of their feelings, so they deceive themselves, which by default deceives others. How do you heal from deception when you don't feel like a victim anymore? How do we not feel like a victim? Immerse yourself in self-love. Do the work. Take ownership of your part in the dynamic. And when you can stop feeling deceived, that's when you've healed. How do you do it? You go and take ownership on your part, listen, and the other pieces, you forgive the other person. Oh my God, everybody is going to go, no, no, no. Look it, I'm not absolving blame when I say forgiveness. I think it was Brene Brown that said, forgiveness isn't for them. Forgiveness is for you. What is forgiveness? Forgiving. Forgiving love. Forgiveness. Forgiving love. Just give yourself love. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. The Haponoponoponopono, the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Just forgiveness. Forgiveness is the antidote to all suffering. Wait, what did you just say, Jonathan? Forgiveness is the antidote to all suffering? Hey, if you haven't read the work of A Course in Miracles, I'm going to probably lose some followers right now. Look how thick this book is. I did a three-year deep dive. Do you know what a miracle is? Love, that's the miracle. Whenever we can shift from fear, from ego, we can shift to love. And a great way to shift to love is forgiveness. It isn't for them, it's for you. Anyone agree with me or disagree with me? Let me know. Thank you for that question. Elizabeth says, question. Guy been dating since September. Action's not matching. Or it's canceled Sunday date because family commitment he forgot about. Said he likes me and wants to get to know me, but to go slow. Last saw two weeks. Dating is an awkward way of getting to know someone. And if people have busy lives, it makes it very difficult to get to know someone. So ideally, your lifestyles are commensurate with one other. Someone has a chaotic, busy life and you have just kind of a chill life. It's gonna be a challenging dynamic. So I don't know what your question is, but check in with your intuition. What does your intuition say to do? Folks, many of you have a broken picker because you have a broken intuition. Lean into your intuition. Your mind will mess with you. I want you to think of, you ever see the movie? I think it was Animal House. There's a scene with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other shoulder. Well, the devil is your mind. It's your ego. It's talking, talking, talking, talking. Angel is your intuition. What does my gut say? You can do a strength test too. What does my gut say? Anyways, hope that helps. Angie wants to remind everyone, I love shared vision. Sherry also says I love shared vision. Exactly. Christy also says love shared vision. Bear says love shared vision. Mia says deception is a deal breaker. When someone hurts me, they destroy a piece of me. They loved and liked. God, that's so sad that we, a human, will give that much power to another. Deception breaks a piece of me. Wow, some other human has that much power over my sovereignty. Please forgive me, but you know what? Only when you give your power away can someone take a piece of you. Self love says I love myself. I've got armor, you know, like you deceive me. It just bounces off. It's like Superman and the bullets bounce off, bounce off, bounce off. That's what self love is all about. Nobody can take a piece of you when you genuinely are in your sovereignty, your self worth, your self esteem. That's the ego, the unhealthy part of the mind that's jumping in. Now you might not like what I say, Mia, and I'm sorry if that feels, you know, doesn't feel like it nurtures a victim consciousness. I'm not here to nurture victim consciousness. I'm here to encourage everyone to stand in their power. Nobody can take a piece of you unless you gave it to them. I know you don't like that, but anyways. All right, let's keep going. Corny says thank you for the answer, Jonathan, glad I could finally catch up on live stream. We agree. All right, let's keep going. Tea in all caps says you are right. We tend to compromise our standards. How to explain the reset of standards when compromised, particularly sleeping with someone too early before establishing. Listen, the antidote to that is radical honesty. Reestablish your standards. Folks, my book. What the heck is self love anyway? Chapter one, speak your truth. Do it with kindness. Chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, can't lose the right person. You can't say the wrong thing to the right person if you speak from your heart. Anyway, speak from your heart. If you got to reestablish your standards, speak from your heart. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. Christy Bentley says I'm done giving my power away, setting good boundaries from the start, sets the stage, many walk away. And that's okay. Amen. Can you summarize what giving your power way looks like? Well, there's some irony. I keep this note right here. Can everyone read what that says? Seven ways women give their power away. By the way, I got an itchy nose. No, I'm not doing cocaine. Okay, one way a woman gives her power away. The relationship is on his terms. You abandon your standards and your boundaries. That's what we just talked about. You're afraid to speak your truth with him. You guys all have duct tape, duct tape over your mouth. I forgot I put the duct tape downstairs. When a relationship ends, the focus is on him. Oh my God, it's him, it's him, it's him. It's all about him, it's all about him, it's all about him, it's all about him, it's all about him, it's all about him. When a relationship ends, it's about you. It has nothing to do with him. I don't mean it's not me, it's you. I'm saying you focus on your own nurturing of your self-love, but if you focus on him and trying to change it and change the story and change the story, that's a way you give your power away. Waiting for him to initiate contact, that's a way you give power away. Many of you are suckling on the nipple of, I need you to call me all the time, I need you to text me all the time, I need you all the time so I can validate that I am important to you, when you're in an incessant need for a kind, and you need him to do the contacting, that's giving your power away. You stop doing your pre-relationship life with him, in other words, and I'm a little bit guilty of this, my best friend, a good friend of mine just said the same thing as well, but retaining your power means it's not all about the other person, you still do many of the things you did before. Feeling like you can't live without this person, that's giving your power away, and you think that person is the only person, but Jonathan, I had the most amazing chemistry with him, the chemistry was off the charts, the sex was great, even though he didn't like me, and I didn't really like him that much, I mean it was just so amazing, that's the only person that'll ever make me feel good. That's giving your power away, just to name a few. Eli, I hope that helps. All right, sweet chick, do you think Bumble is the best dating site? So I think I mentioned I rejoined it, I do like that women have to initiate contact, it's only because we men can swipe on so many profiles and get nothing back. So I like that women have to initiate, that's one thing I like about it, is it the best? There is no such thing as the best, they are all spokes in the wheel. So my thinking is this, create as many opportunities to be seen by as many people and learn discernment, that's what I teach in my private coaching discernment. So when you learn discernment, you can do a better job of picking. The idea is to create a vortex of as many, okay, of the right possibilities. So when I say the right possibilities, I do believe swipe apps do marginalize people, so I'm not 100% in love with them, that's why I paid extra for the feature where I only look at the people who had already swiped on me and then I'm discerning from there, I do my best not to get into that hamster wheel of swiping. But I still believe that match.com is probably the best overall site to be on because that has the most robustness, it happens to be the most popular one. So sweet chick, I hope that helps. Linda Singer is in the house and she said, I had a date Wednesday. He asked me to text him when I got home safely, so I did. And then did not hear a word back until this morning. He's asking for a date tomorrow. I was interested Wednesday, but not now. Okay, well, you don't have a question, but I guess your question I'm gonna speculate is should you go on the date? You know, let's see, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Well, the question is, did you have a good time on the date? Did you like the guy? If you had a good time and liked the guy, see him again. See if you still like him. It's all predicated on whether or not you like the person and he liked you, so maybe you need to see it again. But I don't know if that in and of itself is a clue. I suspect it's a clue, so I understand why you might be reluctant, but maybe going out again might help you get clarity and you could bring it up. Why don't you ask him this? I'm really curious. You asked me to send you a response, and I would do this over the phone, not a via text message. And then I didn't hear from you today was something up. Just be curious was something up. Okay, Zora says, should I wait to establish a career before dating? You got to do what's right for you. I mean, by the way, self-supporting is probably an important thing. So if you can support yourself, then you can date. Honey, you says most men are there for hook on bumble, are there for hookups and scammers. I would say, genuinely speaking, dating, a significant percentage of men and women are just hooking up. A significant men and percentage of women are just seeking a unwitting therapist in their life, and then there are people like myself who are genuine. Do you want to pass up? Someone, I'd like to think I'm genuine, and I'd like to think there are genuine women. So do you want to pigeonhole and say that's an absolute, or just simply say, hey, I recognize that's part of the narrative? Oh, Mia wants to go on and clarify. I meant that they destroyed the peace of me that loved them. It doesn't mean I don't love myself. When someone treats me bad, I don't start hating myself. I stop liking love. Okay, so that person is gone. That's it. Just that person's gone. It's easy. Next. That's easy. Just next. But thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it. Candy says, Jonathan, if you lose any followers by providing good directions, it is not due to that advice. Your statement helps us face ourselves in the mirror. We need to open our minds to change. Well, thank you, Candy. I tend to agree. All right, let's keep going. I'm going to read this out loud to everyone. Con, fool, I was to believe that I should have known better. My self-doubt than self-anger has turned into self-forgiveness, self-love. However, my code of armor is layered on big time. Folks, why does it have to be I should have known better? What if on a spiritual level, you experienced exactly what you were meant to experience to establish self-forgiveness, self-love? The armor is the detriment. When you have armor up, when you have walls up, Marie said to me she had some walls up. I think she had a lot of walls up. When you have wall, and you know, me sitting back going, well, I'll just wait and be patient for those walls to come down. People who have walls up don't make good people to date. Ladies, would you want to date a man who has walls up? No, armor and walls means don't be dating. Let those walls and armor come down. That's when you should be dating. That's just a suggestion I have for everyone. Sweet chick says, thank you so much. Definitely helped. I'm happy to hear that. Honey, you says I love meeting organically, at least I know where the roots in the background. Well, meeting organically is not much of a more guarantee other than you bypass hopefully when you meet someone organically, it's in your same proximity. And so when someone's in your proximity, hopefully you have more me twos, meaning, oh, you happen to live here, you know this restaurant, me too. You know this park, me too. You like to go stand up paddle boarding, or you like to play pickleball, me too. The more me twos you have, the safer you feel with a person. So I'm just adding that into the equation as well. So we've covered a lot here today. I know it's called Five Feminine Ways to Keep His Interest. Folks, I'm going to concede that it's very complicated. This is a complicated dynamic we call dating mating or relating, and our current dating marketplace. It is very complicated. That's why us coaches exist. Okay, I'm here to encourage the best way to become a tractor for what you want is to become what you want to attract. Really embody it and become it. Again, most humans live in a delusional perspective on themselves, and when someone can call themselves out on their own stuff. I'm guilty of this. It's one of the reasons why I've encouraged my group of men to do our group therapy meets camping, if you will, is because when people in our lives can see our blind spot, sometimes we can't see our own blind spot. So I encourage those who know me and love me to introspection means is to look inward but at the same time invite curiosity from others, invite perspective, excuse me, from others. I'm a big proponent of that. And so I'm just rambling here because I'm waiting for a question and now Dixie just came in with a question. By the way, I need more questions so I can be talking. Dixie says, if I get into a relationship with a 52-year-old man, I'm 70, long distance. Folks, when you have a question, don't write a statement, write a question. So Dixie, what is your question? Oh, okay, now here's a question. Is that, is this a no for me? Well, okay, you have an 18-year age gap. Could be a problem, not always. You have distance, major problem. Folks, the only way to get to know another human being is through experiences, observing them in a variety of different circumstances like social activities, like hobbies, like mutual interests, like spending time with family and friends, being teammates in your professional lives to some degree, traveling together. And it's not just going to restaurants. So that's how you get to know another human being is through a variety of different circumstances. So Dixie, how far apart do the two of you live and how often can you see each other? Most likely what you've established is a cyber relationship. How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. I'm thinking of you. Oh my God, you're so hot. What are you wearing tonight? Let's have phone sex. My God, let's masturbate to each other while we're on the phone. This is, that's called artificial intimacy. So, you know, is this a no for me? I mean, you're going to do what you're going to do. You know, you're not, most people, by the way, most people don't listen to my advice because humans, it's the definition of insanity. I have to keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over again because I have this delusion, there'll be a different result. You know, we humans are, our God, I think God must have been on mushrooms because when he created humans, he's just sitting, laughing at our, I was going to use the word stupidity but I'm going to retract that and say the delusion we live in are individual delusion. And he's just sitting up there going, wow, was I on drugs when I created this group of species? So, what's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results? What, what is it that, okay, so coming back to who said that question, Dixie? What is your standard? Are you seeking a day-in-day-out relationship? Okay, if you're seeking a day-in-day-out relationship, can this person even come close to experiencing a day-out-day-out relationship? Most likely, and I'm speculating here, Dixie, only because I've observed this over and over and over and over and over and over again, people that engage in long-distance relationships are ridiculously lonely and as soon as you've got a live wire, you're going to invest all this time and believe me, the letdown is more painful than all of the anxiety-based connection the two of you've had throughout this experience. So be pragmatic. Is this even a possibility? No, then I'm going to focus on someone that is. All right, Rosa says, call them out, Jonathan, 100%, thank you so much. Christine says, could you please give some examples of how to talk about shared vision? All right, so something critically important to me is a person that has a relationship with the divine, with source, with God, universe, spirit. I call it Gus. If you have a relationship with the divine, next is you have a true desire to improve yourself through personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. In addition, my mission, my vision is this. This is what I see in my life in the next one year, five years, 10 years. This is my vision of my life. It's important to establish what that looks like. For me, it's continually doing plant-based medicine journeys. I would like to establish one thing that's part of my vision is to expand my consciousness, to overcome the fear of death, just to name a few. In addition, going to personal development workshops, that's part of my vision. And also teaching on doing workshops, live workshops, instead of just this YouTube format. So these are just part of my vision of my life. You have to establish what that is for you. Oh, so anyway, I hope that helps with you. By the way, Sherry is reciting something I've said a million times. Dixie, listen to Jonathan. Proximity creates continuity. Continuity builds the deep roots of trust. Oh my, yes, yes. Oh, wait a minute. I said that. Yes, yes, yes. These are my words. Proximity creates continuity. Continuity is continuous, creates the deep roots of trust. I mean, it just doesn't get any easier than that, folks. All right, this is going to be our last question of the day. Do men generally find independence and confidence attractive in a feminine way? Emotionally grown-up men love emotionally grown-up women who are both in their self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-reliance, self-awareness. Self-respect. Broken men want broken women because broken women are easier to manipulate, okay? A broken man, a confident woman can't stand a broken man. Only a broken person can be attractive to another broken person. Now, I just made that, I just made that statement. I'm not, I don't want to say that as a statement of fact. However, does anyone agree with the idea that a broken person is attracted to another broken person? It's only two broken people. Emotionally speaking, tend to go down a dysfunctional path. An emotionally healthy person isn't attracted to a broken person. Now, I'm saying broken. It doesn't mean that we don't have cracks, okay? We all have cracks and sometimes two people come together. They both have cracks come together and they heal those cracks, okay? And they become more emotionally mature. But broken people tend to do best with other broken people. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just observing what is. All right, we've just shared the five feminine ways to keep a man's guy's interest. This is true for men and women alike. I just want to repeat it really quickly for those that missed it early on. Easygoing personality. They love themselves. They clearly know their standards. They've established boundaries and they have a regular commitment to physical intimacy. And that's a great way for both of you to be healthy, happy in relationship. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Post a comment below. Listen, we got no money for the Conor Asley Fund. Right before we wrap up, can you just check that dollar sign and donate some money today? I'd like to give some money away if you found value in this conversation. Also, if you did find value in this conversation, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos. All right, I'm going to wrap up this video. As I always do, first off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrett of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love as well. I'm asking you to turn to someone. A pet, a teddy bear, a pillow. Give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Candy said, I tried to donate, would not go through. Sorry about that. I want to thank Sherry and Candy and Melissa and Jesse and Honey You and Sam and Lindsay and Johika and Elle and Tee in all gaps. One of our Facebook members, Lindsay, Zora, Kerry, did I say Mia, Rosa, Christine, Big Hugs and Linda. Big hug. Oh, Elle, thank you for the $5 Super Sticker. I really appreciate it. All right, folks. Thanks so much. Wishing you a super-duper, wonderful, fantastic weekend. Be well. Take care. Bye now. Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.