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Jonah Mowry: 'Whats goin on..'

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Published on Aug 11, 2011

Jonah Mowry: 'Whats goin on..' video
Thank you to everyone for all your loving support, comments, messages, phone calls, videos and letters.... it has meant more to my family and I than I could ever tell you all - 12/19/11
- I made this video Aug. 2011, a few weeks before school was about to start. I was 13. It was a very emotionally confusing and dark time in my life. I made the video at 4:00am in the morning. I hadn't been sleeping at night for a long time; I had too many things going on in my head, tearing me up inside. I was dreading going back to school. All I could think about were all the bad things that had been happening at school last year, every year for that matter. I just couldn't bare to go through that anymore. Over the summer I finally just accepted who I was. Only my closest friends knew. I was scared. I wanted to come out to my family but didn't know how to. I was done pretending to be "fake" happy, pretending hateful words didn't hurt me, and done hiding it all from my family.

This video was made for me, my family, and my friends that had moved on to High School who were worried for me. I wanted to say to my High School friends that I was going to take a stand and I was going to be OK. And to the haters at my middle school that I'm not going anywhere, I am who I am. I posted the video as "unlisted" here and told people were to find it. That was it...

At the end of Aug. 2011, everything eventually came crashing down and out in the open. I finally told my parents what was "really" happening to me all this time. I let them know the extent of the bullying and I told them about the cutting. They knew something was going on, and always tried their best to help me. But I got very good at hiding it all. I thought if I told them, it would just make it worse and the bullies would come back at me harder. So, I would just take the abuse. And I just didn't want to worry my family and cause more problems.

At this time I came out to my family. After finally letting go of everything I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. I started seeing a Family Therapist and I started to find some happiness again. I felt accepted for who I was, and I felt confident and stronger.

My parents were always there for me through all of this, always there to listen, to talk and to support me no matter what. Looking back, all I had to do was simply ask for help.

School started Sept. 2011. Over the next several weeks my close friends and others saw the video and were moved by it. At the end of November, I was encouraged to make the video "public" and link it to my Facebook page so more people could see it. Maybe it could help someone else going through the same thing. And once and for all, my whole school would know and that would be the end of it. And this would quietly fade away and life would go on. So I changed the video to "public" and linked it to my Facebook page Nov. 30th. My parents finally saw the video for the first time Dec. 1st.

Then, over the next few days all this happened.

I never expected in a million years that it would have such a powerful impact on so many people from all over the world. It's incredible. I am truly humbled and truly thankful for all the love, encouragement and support. All the wonderful, heartfelt videos, messages, letters and phone calls, it's been overwhelming. I don't know what to say. Thank you so, so much!

When the video came out there were people at school that realized that they had hurt me and felt sorry for their behavior. I did make some new friends and I have my High School friends. School is OK for the most part. Things still go on here and there. I know there will always be people that hate for whatever reason. And there is nothing I can do about that. And of course, like everyone else I have ups and downs and have things to work on. But now, it just feels easier every day to stay on the "up" side of life than ever before.

"Whats goin on.." is my story, and sadly the story for 1,000s of kids who go through this pain and abuse every day. I was one of the lucky ones and now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hundreds of kids do not and tragically give up. Bullying and Teen suicide is real, and is serious. I hope all that see my video find hope, inspiration and know they are not alone.

Thank you all, Love and peace to all who are hurting.
Stay Strong!
Jonah Mowry

Video -- "Whats goin on..." US copyright ©2011 Jonah Mowry. All rights reserved. Duplication without express permission of the author is prohibited.

Music -- "Breathe Me" by Sia. Used with permission from the artist. Thank you Sia!! ℗ 2004, 2005 Systemtactic Limited t/a Go! Beat under exclusive license to Astralwerks.

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Comments • 205,520

Jonah Mowry
Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year!
View all 19 replies
Afton Christofferson
M Y im afton I've been cutting for a 1 year now and my depression sucks u look like u need a good friend i was asking if u wanna be friends? do have a snapchat? we can help eachother out im here for u i know how u feel
Marcy Girl
Jonah Mowry I'll be ur friend
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Jonah Mowry
From my family to yours, we wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. Merry Christmas!
View all 8 replies
NMM
You're my role model, you are totally stronger, I respect and admire you, Your strength motivates me, thank you very much Jonah, (I am mexican, sorry for my english)
Gerald Stephens
You don't know me, but I feel like we are kindred spirits even though I am MUCH older than you. I too went through a LOT of bullying and torture (in school and in my own home) growing up. I still have some struggles but I look to amazing, strong, brave people like yourself for inspiration. I am a retired, disabled, openly gay veteran of Desert Storm (1990-91). I was only 19 when I was sent to war, I have never been the same, but I do my best every day to stay inspired by the friends, TRUE friends, around me that do not judge me. I want to be that kind of friend for you...even though we are far apart. I support you, I encourage you, I see you as a very special, important, beautiful human being that deserves EVERY happiness. Keep your head held high and NEVER let anyone tear you down. When someone says something mean or nasty to you, smile at them...kill their negativity with kindness. They eventually will see how to really treat others as THEY want to be treated. Sending you much love and happiness hugs
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Jonah Mowry
Happy New Year 2015! May this New Year bring a fresh start and fill every heart with hopes and aspirations. Sending my wishes of love and laughter this day and forever. From my family to yours have a Happy 2015!! 
View all 36 replies
Cody Bessette
Jonah Mowry I'm Cody desserts and I was bullied to so I know how you felt and you have to me strong and show that your not afraid of them and if you ever need to talk you have all of us on Facebook YouTube basically your Awesome kid unknown I really don't know you but who really cares if I do and don't know you I'm really trying to say is I'm here if you need it..
spidey cam121
Please reply
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Jonah Mowry
Whatever is beautiful. Whatever is meaningful. Whatever brings you happiness and peace. May it be yours this Christmas. From my Family to yours, wishing everyone a very, Merry Christmas!
View all 24 replies
blue 747
So glad he's in a better place and nothing wrong if he's gay..I support this young man..I'm a dad..good luck to him
Joshua 02222
Jonah Mowry you have instagram???
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Jonah Mowry
May love be in your life, May hope be in your heart, May peace be in our world. From my family to yours, wishing everyone A Very Merry Christmas!
View all 4 replies
Rocky Rachel
Jonah Mowry I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I'VE ALMOST KILLED MYSELF AT LEAST 4 TIMES BUT THEN MY MOM HELPED ME AND WE MOVED AWAY BUT WHILE WE WERE MOVING I TRIED JUMPING OUT OF MY MOM'S CAR (WHICH WAS MOVING) JUST KNOW YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!!
FATEL
+Jonah Mowry Lots of respect for you! :) We love you! :) Dont be sad! :)))) Thanks, for video, im like it, and im always crying, if i see. Sorry for my bad english. :)
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Jonah Mowry
May the spirit of Christmas bring our world peace, hope and love. From my Family to yours, a very Merry Christmas!
Monica_Rosibel
Jonah Mowry Merry Christmas!
Audrey Whitney
I cryed watching it
ICEN Hoodie
What happend to him 3 years ago last video I cry every time I watch this if I was in school and I see him get bullied I will fight for him
Ohvv Desire
Me too
David DeBergh
I was severally depressed and I cut in the 9th grade. I now want to become a police officer to help and protect innocent people.
Arcz
Good job. Good luck on being a hero.
Ethan Jacobson
Here's my story Hey Jonah I've been bullied since the 2nd grade... Every day I get a text of someone yelling at me stalking me taking pictures braking my phone my surfboard my skate board and even beating me up. My whole school used to call me Efag. Until the principal had to get involved but by then it was to late. In 3rd grade my teacher was locking me in a closet sized room to "try to help"... But one time I decided that I wasn't going to sit there and walked and my whole class was watching a movie. And the kids who were bullying me were getting rewarded. This day was on field day I didn't know I was always in that room. Because of her I was put in basic skills. In 4th grade a kid who I won't name for respect was always telling me to get the f*** away because I was small he would push on the concrete until I would bleed the principle did absolutely nothing to help. So my mom and I called his parents and we made up. Of corse we weren't friends. In 5th grade is where people starting going through turning into "men" so like a cat they started making their territory showing who's boss. I wasn't close to the point where I was turning into a "man" so I was one of the smaller kids. So to prove them selves they were using me like a human punching bag. Sometimes literally. At that point siber bullying came into place. They treating me like c***! I eventually ended up deleting all my social accounts except changing my number which will be come bigger later. 5th grade ended. 6th grade started this is the most recent and worse year of all of them. 6th grade started off with a bang! Literally! Black eye! They through out my lunch my book socks ect... I thought I was going to kill my self suicide became an option by the end of September. One day I wore a muscle shirt to school(a shirt with no sleeves) and 70 kids the next day wore the color shirt and type. For student council members there was a car wash and was invited to get student points for the student council trip at the end of the year. At the end of that I ended up with 8 stitches on my back and 3 on my shoulder. That kid was suspended for 2 weeks. About 1 week later I was beaten up to the point where 4 teachers were pulling the kid off me. Every thing became clear that I had no friends nobody. It began scary to go to school. Suicide became even more of an option. It was number two under being fake sick for 180 days. That didn't work I couldn't sleep at all ever. A few kids leaked my crush on Instagram and tried to really hurt me. What kept me from killing myself was the reaction of other families who had someone kill themselves. And my mom always says " if u kill yourselve then I bring you from the dead and kill you " things got worse on the last day of school my teacher brought in his Super Nintendo and I was Mario. One kid in my home room punched me of the chair and said move your f**** a** off my f**** chair and kicked my head my home room teacher sent him home. Summer I've been trying to keep away from everyone but so far so good. I love you Jonah, Your bud, Ethan
View all 4 replies
Brunin22bh
+Ethan Jacobson Look, I survived school and you can do the same. I was called fa..., que..., pretty much since 4th grade. Even a teacher said me once that I wasn't a man. To survive I started to live in a another reality. Protect your mind, don't let anyone but you get in there and you'll never kill yourself. They can beat your body but never heat your soul.
Ethan Jacobson
that is what i did its better now
Hide replies
Ethan Ni
This is similar to what Amanda Todd did
Jordan Fisher
Ethan Ni except this came more than a year before hers, so actually, hers is like his.
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