 Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back! Have you ever heard the term gaslighting before and wondered what it means? Simply put, it is abuse and a form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims are fed lies and false information under the guise of truth, which makes them question their sanity and beliefs. Over time, the manipulations become so complex that the victim can no longer identify what's real. Here are some common phrases an abusive person might use to control you. 1. You are so sensitive If you hear this one, calmly disengage from the conversation and acknowledge that you are not too sensitive. An abusive person resorts to this line to make themselves not accountable for their actions. Additionally, this statement minimizes your feelings by making you think that your feelings are inappropriate or wrong, so you end up feeling guilty. 2. I was just joking. You have probably heard this phrase, especially when someone says something deliberately cruel. This is the classic backpedaling remark. Again, it's a way to remove accountability for their actions. It also serves to downplay your emotions and make you feel bad about culling out their behavior. They use this phrase to try to normalize cruel comments. 3. It's no big deal This statement is another tactic manipulators often use to deny wrongdoing. Like the previous statement, this also tries to normalize cruelty and verbal violence by trivializing their abuse and minimizing your pain. It is also a blatant attempt to shrink responsibility on themselves and put it on to you, making you responsible for misunderstanding them. It's aimed at making you feel unseen and unimportant. 4. You're imagining things This is another classic gaslighting phrase. It's perhaps the only phrase that comes directly from the film. The purpose is to discredit you and make you doubt your sanity. This is effective because it makes others side with your abuser and reinforces the statement. What makes it particularly nefarious is it's often sugar coated with concern and worry. Your abuser may approach you and express concern while also dismissing your emotions. They may say, I'm only telling you this because I'm worried about you. Or something similar. When this is expressed as a concern it makes it harder to see the manipulation. 5. I'm sorry that you think that I hurt you A common tactic that an abuser might use is shifting blame. This statement is an apt example. The phrasing of this is clever because it makes you think the abuser is apologizing. In reality, they're placing the blame on you. They're also making you feel like you misinterpreted them or judged them unfairly. And like you are the cause of the bad behavior or bad relationship. As a result, your self-esteem suffers, making you more dependent on them. Abuse, verbal or otherwise should never have a place in your relationship. If you see it or experience it, call it out. Let the other person know that it's not right. If you are struggling with abuse, please reach out to a licensed medical professional for help. Have you experienced gaslighting? Let us know in the comments below and share this video with someone who might benefit. As always, the references and studies used are listed in the description below. Thanks for watching and take care. Until next time.