 Mae'r pethau yn storfynol i ddweud i'r fath o gyfnod o'r cyfrifol o'r mwyaf o'r bwysig iawn, yn gyfnod i'r cyfrifol o'r mwyaf i ddweud i ddweud i gael. Felly efallai'r gwych yn fwyaf o'r pwymp o'r prysgol. Mae'n ddweud i'n cael ei ddweud i'r cyfrifol o'r ddweud i'r rhaglachol ac yn ddweud y ddefnyddio'r cyfrifol o'r bobl gael yma o'i ddweud i Llego. Mae'n pob tyfnol i'r cyfrifol o'r Llego. was there and she found the support in most african societies more women and girls receive attention and consideration than the boy child and as a result the neglected boy generally grows up to be a bigger danger to society than the girl a mother's love initiative amli a social change initiative that campaigns for the overall well-being of the african child is worried about the trend and its consequences on their well-being in adolescence and young adulthood when the cost of our project the hori child which started about six years ago we noticed that the boy child a lot of the boys are not speaking and this gave us the reason to say okay we need to talk about the boy child because if the boy child is not doing well it affects the family front. Hannah too, a way decried the growing neglect of the boy child saying that this adversely affects their well-being and consequently threatens their future. If we continue at this rate it's going to be a huge problem which we already see right now. It's important for us to begin to speak about the boy child to encourage our society to begin to see how we can encourage them, how we can embrace them, how we can lead them in the right direction. Panelists agree that the work of the work lies on the table of parents to ensure that the boy child grows up to become a society of blessing and not a cause. You have to be intentional about parenting. Children will be children, they will cry, they will manipulate, you have to understand your role. The Bible says train up a child in the way he should go and gives you a promise. When he is old he will not depart from it. Our young days if you misbehave and you are disciplined outside you pray that the person doesn't know your parents because once you are reported to your parents that's double jeopardy because you will be punished again back home. So society's influences have become one of the perhaps beings in the bringing up of children. To further amplify the campaign against the neglect of the boy child in Nigeria, Amly created a platform for young boys to compete among themselves and to creatively render their insights on the topic that says the importance of a father and some relationship from the lens of the boy child. From Lagos, Love Ikuku Uieduku plus TV News. With me in the studio to discuss the neglect of the boy child is the head of research and projects of mother's love, Mr Mohamed Amed Ademola. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. Okay so for my first question the boy neglect has over the years had adverse effects on the well-being and future of male children. What do you think about this? What's your opinion on this? Okay generally speaking every child grows through developmental milestones and across those developmental processes there's interaction between nature and nurture meaning the biological makeup of the child, the genetic makeup of the child and the child's interaction with the environment. So when we come to talk about how the neglect of the boy child affects or well-being talking about how parenting or caregiving or the roles of neighbours or the society has actually failed in grooming an ideal boy child. So and as a child grows before the age of 18 the child is still a full dependent meaning he has to relate to its resources around him for survival you know and if a boy child is neglected when a child is neglected depending on the personality makeup it's that the child displays internalising behaviours or externalising behaviours. When you find a boy child being too child withdrawn the child is probably reacting to how he feels about his environment. If a child is being aggressive or a child is being destructive it's also a form of response to setting up deficiencies in Israel environment. So very importantly a lot of studies have affirmed the fact that parenting neglects and the poor roles of caregivers have actually contributed to the poor well-being of the male child and obviously the attendant consequences are things we're seeing in society today you know. While growing up let me just paint it this way you want to bake a cake it's meant to mix certain things together and in the process you probably do not do the mixing properly then you just push the paste into the oven at very high heat so it you know what does it what comes out it becomes you know burnt outside and inside it it's disintegrated that's exactly what happens you know the boy child is so neglected that he has to probably find a way to make meaning out of what he has around himself and one of the major reasons why this becomes more problematic is that the boy child is also being rushed to grow so in the process of rushing he grows prematurely you know and the society has expectations of him his family has expectations of him and because of the idea that a boy should be strong and how you know he can't actually express himself he can't if a boy that doesn't even understand his own identity that does not even know who he is that has no fine meaning of his space within his home or within his environment you know it becomes a lot of problem speaking of family what do you think how do you think that the father's own relationship can affect the life of your boy child thank you very much that's a very good question and that brings me to um my concerns for the disintegration of the family system no matter how superhuman a woman is she can't adequately take the role of a man because the place of a woman is of warm fandom compassion the place of a man is protection and and and you know boosting that confidence in in in the children you know and and and a man has well there are several theories for example the cycle social development theory according to Sigmund Freud you know there are certain stages where a man has relevance on the growth of the female child and also on the male child so now coming to the father's son relationship the fastest on the best way for a child to learn is by role modeling it's what a child sees those around him do that sinks into his his repertoire you know his psyche that's as it grows so it's important for fathers to you know to have a very you know um would i say uh to to have a two-way communication with their with their sons so that they can you know reduce the problems we have today you know having more interaction or communication with our children not only gives them the confidence that yes i can also be a better man but also help them learn from the mistakes of those fathers and become better men the fathers today are actually failing and there's still a gap between them and the children they are grooming today so you can imagine so we already have a failed parenting system we already have failed fatherhood and more importantly is also to talk about relationship between those children and their grandparents so there's also the place of grandparents in this discussion okay so what is your advice for the boy child that feels neglected okay for a boy child that feels neglected there are several risk factors that are associated with this um discussion if it's a situation that is with that with is is outside the control of the boy child for example he has lost his father or for some reasons it's a separate parenting situation uh or we have a single mother you know where the father is totally absent you know we could have an absent father we could have an hon involved father we could have a present but not an intentional father too you know and we could even have a present and intentional father but still has poor parenting practices you know so all these things have you know their attendant consequences so for a boy that is struggling to find meaning the first is to say that you know in in those days and I see which I still believe should be applicable now it takes the society to raise a child it should have it should look up to those around his his environment could be neighbors it could be relatives that's probably see something that they have that give him attention that he also sees as someone he could look up to to have those convert because the bottom line is is having to discuss share your emotions that's the problem the boy child's emotions is just bottled hope it doesn't have anyone to discuss it with so it becomes it makes them hardened you know and and and in the hand they just um you know collapse yes so there's a lot to talk about but you know I'm just trying to investigate the issue for my last question you mentioned something and I wanted to just be very very just summarize to be very short about it you mentioned something about training boy child in your opinion how do you train a boy child like what strategies can you use very briefly please okay what applies to the boy child also applies to girl child I have to make that clear okay because what we are getting advocating for is to say that uh it's not just about helping the girl child become better because if you focus on the girl child and she's intellectually savvy and she's very much okay in the walks of life and all that who is good she's still going to have to marry the boy child so if we neglect that boy child then who would she have to marry that's probably the problem with his now coming to say um how can we train the boy child I would say at the family level is to ensure that fathers are actually very involved in how the fathers relate with their with their wives is very important because that's what the child first understands how he treats his wife okay then how you know the father now relates with the son also matters the kind of exposure and experiences the kind of rituals the child is put through you know in the african system we have this rituals ideal rituals the child if a girl goes to a boy goes through but because of westernization and you know um population of culture we don't take this voice to do this ritual so I believe domesticating the boy child is actually the best way to actually groom the boy child if the boy child as it should cultivate the habit of responsibility from from from the teenage from the from the early years very as little has you know washing the plates tied in the room and all those things are things that we have to go back to which are actually very missing in in today's family life thank you very much for doing us on the news at the time thank you very much for having me yes hello hope you enjoyed the news please do subscribe to our youtube channel and don't forget to hit the notification button so you get notified about fresh news updates