 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honey. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Well, that's strange. He's always been here before. Orca, I'll try just once more. Hello, hello, hello. Well, too bad she's not here. I might just as well go. April 4th, here I am. Oh, I forgot this is April 4th. You tricked me. Yes, I tricked you. Yes, I did. And I was very, very sad. I really fooled you then, didn't I? Oh, you did. And have you got a lot of April Fool tricks up your sleeve for everyone else? Oh, yes. I've got a good one for my father. What's that? Well, I helped my mother bake a cake today, and I made a little cake for him. And instead of frosting, I put toothpaste on top. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I would love to see his face when he bites into that cake. Well, why don't you come to dinner tomorrow? Oh, I'm afraid you might put the sugar in my salt and the salt and the sugar, and I might not enjoy my dinner. Oh. You promise? Uncross your fingers. Very well, I'll come. Now will you read me the funny? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for hop along. Hoppy has trailed the outlaw called the chameleon to an old Aztec temple. The chameleon turns out to be Mr. Grief, the citizen of Buckskin. Hoppy had discovered the secret entrance to the Indian temple, but when he got inside, he found himself surrounded by the chameleon and his gang. Just all for time, Hoppy tells the chameleon he's willing to join up with his gang of outlaws. And then Hoppy's pals, Lucky and California, follow him to the temple. But Hoppy tells them he doesn't want to have anything to do with him, that the citizens of Buckskin believe he's a killer and that he's going to continue to be an outlaw. Lucky stares at Hoppy in amazement and says first picture. Hey, don't you know us, Hoppy? You're no escape killer, no matter what they say in Buckskin. We followed you here to get you out of this mess. Hoppy replies, save your breath. I've quit you and the bar 20 to join up with the chameleon's outfit. Last picture top row, the chameleon holds out a gun to Hoppy saying, I don't think they believe you. Show them how good you are, Cassidy. Once their bodies are dropped into this ancient shaft, they'll never be found. Hoppy disregards the gun. Instead, suddenly dives at Lucky in California, first picture, second row, and the three of them topple into the pit and lunge into the water at the bottom. Later, last picture, second row. After a long swim in the dark, they see an opening. And a moment later, emerge under the sky. Fresh air. California exclaims, they're jumping horn toads. I would begin to think this tunnel was endless. First picture, bottom row, they climb out of the river. Lucky says, hey, you saved our lives, Hoppy. Hoppy replies, well, it was a long shot. We've told me that that Azdec temple was built over an underground spring that flows into these swamps. When you ordered you shot, I took the only way out. California asks, where's he fitting to this? Now there's no time to exclaim, California. You're showing up here almost ruined everything. I'll get to your horses and ride for buckskin as fast as you can make it. Locate the Texas Rangers and tell them to head for Echo Canyon with every man they can muster. I'm going to try to bring in the chameleon and his gang. Last picture, California clutches his fist in admiration and says, now you're talking like the real Hoppulong. California lucky. You bet it was. If he had taken grief's gun, he'd have had to shoot him. Yes, and this way, when he fell in the pit with him, he had a chance to tell them what he was doing. And to tell them how they could help him. I can't wait until the Texas Rangers come. Well, let's hope they get there next week. I'm anxious to see what happens when Hoppy sees the chameleon again. Sure am I. Well, we'll find that out next week. Now. Now can we go over the page because I'm sure Prince Valiant is on page three. All right, over the page we go. And you were right. Here he is, Prince Valiant. And you may have been on the hunting trip with Val and Arf and who had thought they had been killed in the accident in the river, had reached home and he told Val's father and wife that Val and Arf were dead. And they were so sad. And all the time Val and Arf were floating along a lake having a pleasant time for themselves. I hope that Val and Arf get home today so those people won't be sad any longer. Let's see if he does. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Heck at break at Gray Malkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. There is great activity in the courtyard. An expedition is getting ready for the long journey across the mountains to find some news that Prince Valiant and Arf ought to bring back their bodies. But meanwhile, at the edge of the mountains leading to a plane, Val and Arf are making their way down a river. The very same stream that had tried so hard to take their lives now leads them to a larger river. Val says, hey, this looks familiar. It's the one that runs by our home. Last picture top rule, on the brink of a great waterfall, they beach their frail skiff. Below them a smiling plane stretches away to the encircling hills and there stands Vikings home. It's strong walls and soaring tower are glow in the summer sun. Inside the castle, where all is silent and sad, King Agua and Alita, who have been listening to the sound of the searching preparations, suddenly hear a distant hail. Hey, hey! And then they hear a shout go up and go to the window and look out and see Val and Arf entering the courtyard. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. And a moment later, last picture, second row, Val enters the room, boisterous as an autumn breeze, so fearless, so confident in his youth and strength, that it never occurs to him that others might grieve terribly when he is in peril. He laughs, well, I'm three weeks late for supper. Sorry to keep you waiting. A short time later, first picture bottom row, Val is seated on the floor, telling the story of his adventure to young Arn. Arn listens wide eyed to the tale of how a raging torrent tried to best his sire and how a boat was built and how they battled the foaming river all the way home. And then it is night, time to retire. Val goes in to take one last look at the baby twins before tucking them in. As he kneels beside them, Alita looks at him and thinks of the anxiety she has just gone through. Looks at Val thinking how all her life, she must smile as he goes laughing into danger. Never will he avoid the most deadly peril, but she, she must wait. Wait and hide the agony in her heart. For he's a warrior, a prince, and he must never know the bitter anxiety he causes his loved ones, lest it quell his ardor in battle or dim his calm self-confidence. And as he stands up, she throws her arms around him last picture, holding him tight and putting her head close to his shoulder so he won't see the tears in her eyes. Oh, I'm glad. Little Prince, I certainly enjoyed Val's stories of his adventure, didn't I? Yes, but... I'm afraid men don't realize how women worry sometimes. Well, they should because you're unhappy when you worry and it isn't fair that a man should make a woman unhappy with worry. You're so right about so many things. Thank you. Yes. Well, now let's turn over the page. And there's Uncle Remus. Oh, yes, and he scaled the bear rabbit. Let's read him quick. All right, here we go with Brow Rabbit. Say the magic words with me. Hippity hoppity, make it a habit to give us music for old Brow Rabbit. Uncle Remus says, somebody's been snatching Brow Rabbit's fireworks and he's getting mighty tired and waiting to find out who. Yes, Brow Rabbit has a scheme to catch the thief who's stealing his fireworks. He rolls the wheelbarrow full of fireworks up to his porch and then starts to drill a hole in the ends of each stick. I is a patient critter, but I has got limits. When a hole has been drilled in the end of each piece of firewood, he pours gunpowder in the hole. I don't know who's doing the taking, but a little gunpowder might tell me. And then last picture top row, he puts a cork in the hole. Well, now this year's stick of wood looks as innocent as a J-bird egg. First picture bottom row, he leaves the wood stacked up on his porch and goes in the house. Well, I guess I'll get to bed early. From here on, the firewood will take care of itself. In the middle of the night, he looks out on his porch. The wood is gone. Yes, but just like that funk, somebody dunced all my firewood again. And he sits down on the wheelbarrow and looks off at Breaux Fox's house. I expect I'll just sit here a while and unhitch my curiosity. Suddenly off on a hill, there is a sound. And Breaux Fox's house is blown apart. Breaux Rabbit says, Well, well, well, so it was all Breaux Fox who was stealing my firewood. And Uncle Rima says, patience is a mighty fine detective. He put the gunpowder inside the firewood and then when Breaux Fox had stolen the wood and put it in his stifles. It'll be a long time before Breaux Fox steals Breaux Rabbit's firewood. Oh, that Breaux Rabbit is a cute one. Yes, you bet. Now look across the page. Flash Gordon. I'm anxious to read about Flash because you remember last week, Flash was on an expedition to find out why the sun wasn't shining on the earth anymore. That's right. He and Dale went on an expedition with Icy Stark, the great explorer, and discovered that giants from the planet Saturn were cutting off the sun's rays. And Flash hid on a jet sled belonging to a great big giant and he got to the giant's headquarters that way. And he had told Dale to have Icy Stark follow them later. But Icy Stark has told Dale that he won't go to help Flash and Flash needs help because the giants discovered him. Yes, and Flash instead of trying to save himself had aimed his rocket pistol at the machine that was stopping the rays from shining on the earth and destroyed it. So quick, let's read and see what happened to Flash next. Very well, here we go with Flash Gordon. Rega, Rega, Dune, Dune, Sasuke, Matash. Let's have music for heroic Flash. The generators go off on a huge explosion. Flash is thrown in the air. Balls to the ground stunned by the blast that he had touched off to destroy the ray generators which have been turning the earth into a giant glacier. But Flash is not the only survivor of the Holocaust. Two giant Saturnians crawl from the wrecked caverns and come upon the unconscious earthmen. One of the invaders from Saturn picks Flash up and listens for his heartbeat. He's alive. I want to question him. Last picture top row, unable to repair their smashed generators, the Saturnians hurriedly prepare to rocket home for a new power plant to complete their conquest of the earth. Flash's limp form is flung across the giant's shoulders, a prisoner of interplanetary war. He's taken aboard the rocket ship. And a second later, they take off. First picture bottom row, as the invaders' rocket takes off for Saturn, Dale and her companions of the Stark expedition approach the scene, attracted by the strange explosion that turned the dark arctic skies into a fiery red. Stark quickly brings his ship to a halt. And then Dale scrambles out. It takes about a moment to realize that Flash is gone. And she gasps, he's in that rocket. We must save him somehow. Last picture frantically, Dale pleads with Stark begging him to pursue the enemy rocket. She tells him that if the giants get back to Saturn, they'll be turned in force, and Stark's expedition will all be wiped out. But Stark is grimly stubborn, and he growls. It's a wild goose chase. Your precious Flash will have to fend for himself. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. No, he'd rather Flash be killed by those giants than help him. Well, I think he's jealous of Flash. You're absolutely right. I wonder what'll happen to Flash now that he's in the clutches of the giants. Well, we'll find that out next week. Now? Well, now, let's read Dick's adventure. I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the last page of the first section, Dick's adventures. Magic wicks for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Say them with me, please. Riggity-pack-a-zack-a-zack. Let's have music for adventurous Nick. The early days of America, the year 1810, Dick finds himself in a dream with his father at the Tipi Canoe River, in a country that will later be called Indiana. Tecumseh, an Indian leader of great power, has drawn up his force along the river to stop the white settlers from going across. The settlers prepared across the river anyway, and then Dick hears a voice of authority which tells him to halt. Dick looks up and sees Governor William H. Harrison, who will one day be president of the United States, ordering them to stop. Halt! Harrison says. The Indians themselves sold us this territory by treaty. Tecumseh now objects, but there's no sense of anybody getting killed yet. I'll have another parley with him. No one needs to cross. For weeks, the parlies drag on, with Tecumseh defying the United States Army and making bids with the British to join him in war. Meanwhile, Dick and his dad settle down to work and to wait. They open up a shop and put up a sign up front which reads, Gunsmith and Ironwork. First picture, next row. Then, one night quite late, an unbidden visitor comes. Dick looks up to see an Indian in the door. It's Tecumseh. And then several other Indians behind, silently entered. And Dick and his father are made prisoners. Through the dark night, they are taken to the Indian camp. And first picture, bottom row. They are brought into an Indian hut. Tecumseh goes to a stack of rifles and holding one out to them says, I want nothing but your knowledge for my people. Not to take, but to share. You will instruct my men how to repair these weapons. Dick and his father answer, no. They are thrown to the ground and left prisoners in the hut to think matters over. Well, if he wants Dick to teach them how to repair their guns, well, that just proves that Tecumseh's lying because he wants to make war against the white people. You are so right. I wonder what will happen next. I wonder if anyone will come to help Dick and his father. We'll find that out next week. Now look underneath Dick's adventures. Oh, Rusty Rally. And Rusty and Peter locked in the cavern in a lost in it. Yes, and maybe something good will happen today. Remember, the Tecumseh had gone to the detective and he'd seen a notice on his desk on which were printed two pictures of Limey, Joe, and the Duke, two crooks. And Tecseh thought that the picture looked like somebody he knew, so he took them home with him and he drew a mustache on one of them. And it looks just like Sir Percival, who got Rusty and Peter into all this trouble. Yes, and now he's telling Mr. Miles what he's discovered. So let's read and find out what happens next to Rusty Rally. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for us, horse and Rusty. Tecseh's showing Mr. Miles the FBI notice that he'd received from the detective. I ain't exactly an artist, boss, but I sort of penciled in a mustache in the one they call the Duke, and then I painted out them specks in the one that they call Limey, Joe. Yeah, you see what I mean? Mr. Miles looks at the pictures carefully. I ain't Joe, Tecseh, no doubt about it. These two criminals are Sir Percival and his man, Nobs. Right, boss, into my way of thinking, it kind of puts a new light on the matter of them stolen trophies. Well, now, Tecseh, if you mean that these men might have taken them, why, that's impossible. Sir Percival or the Duke was with me at the country club and his man was outside in their car. His man, that would be Limey, Joe. Did anybody see him waiting outside in that car? Meanwhile in the cave, last picture top row, Rusty and Pete have rigged up a light with the battery of the car, and they've been examining the caves. Finally, they decide to go back to their car and suddenly see themselves faced by three openings. Rusty exclaims, hey, one of these three tunnels is the way back, but which one? Pete shakes his head saying, hey, golly, Rusty, I don't know, but we've got to take a chance and run them. This battery won't last much longer. It's getting dim now. First picture bottom row, Rusty sees an iron handrail that extends into one of the tunnels. Hey, this iron handrail is a pretty good guide. How about saving the battery by feeling our way along, Pete? Yeah, that makes sense, Rusty. All right, let's try it. Pete turns his light out and holding onto the iron rail, they make their way into the tunnel, hoping it'll turn out to be the way back. A short time later, they round a bend in the tunnel and Rusty exclaims, hey, look, Pete, golly, there's a faint light way up ahead. Yeah, you're right, Rusty. It must be from that ventilator near the entrance. We must have chosen the right tunnel. They move forward a little faster. They come upon an underground river. Pete exclaims, hey, jeepers, Rusty, this isn't the way we came. We didn't see any water. Hey, Pete, the light's coming up from the water. I've heard of something like this, a place they call the Blue Grotto in the Mediterranean. Meanwhile, last picture in a tavern, not far from the abandoned house, Knobbs and Sir Percival, the two crooks, are having lunch, and Knobbs are saying, I don't mind saying I'll be glad when we picked up them trophies where we buried them and get on our way. Sir Percival nods and replies, oh, patience, Knob, eh? We'll go over to the old house as soon as it gets dark enough. The Old House Tell the detective what they've discovered. Tex will go after Sir Percival, I'll betcha. Yes, he will, I'll betcha. I hope they catch him soon. Rusty and Peter in the tunnel, and they may get lost, and they may starve or something. Well, let's hope not. Well, now it's time, though, for Dagwit and Blondie. Oh, look today. Very well, here we go with Dagwit and Blondie on the first page of the second section. Say the magic words with me. Ram-a-foo, ram-a-fum, zim-zam-zum-bee, conjimy music for Dagwit and Blondie. Blondie smells a horrible odor coming from the basement. When she tells Dagwit about it, Dagwit says, friend of mine, give me a recipe for cooking house and pepper. What's house and pepper? Oh, you soak a rabbit for three days in vinegar, then cook it in all kinds of fancy spices and stuff. Then last picture top row, Dagwit tells Blondie, it's ready to be cooked now. I was gonna surprise you with it. He takes the lid off the house and pepper and dumps it in a pan on the stove, and the room is filled with the most awful odor. The odor is so terrible that first picture next row, Blondie, the children and the dogs run out of the house. But Dagwit just puts a clothespin over his nose, and as the tears run out of his eyes, he smiles cheerfully. Well, I admit it is a little strong, but good. And he begins to put in spices and make his beloved hassenfeffer. A little later as the fumes pull out of the windows and doors and dark clouds, the fire engine pulls up to the door. The firemen rush for the house. My men in there fast. They step into the door, they stop. Age man, forward. The men start in. Suddenly one drop to the floor unconscious. First picture next row, the chief yells, take him out in the air and bring us gas masks. One of the men bravely yells, I'll throw open all the windows. Couple of the firemen wearing gas masks dash into the kitchen. They see Dagward lying on the floor with a clothespin on his nose. Oh, this must be the husband. Now get him outside quick. And you, take that stuff off the stove and bury it outside. Last picture third row, the firemen have dug a hole. One of them pours the hassenfeffer in. The chief yells, be sure you bury that stuff deep. Well, I dug the hole six feet. Another one says, I wonder what it is. First picture bottom row, Alexander is pumping fresh air into Dagward to the bicycle pump, while Blondie puts cold packs on his forehead. Hey, Papa, be all right. His collar is coming back. Suddenly Dagward sits up, sees where he is and yells, my hassenfeffer. What happened to my hassenfeffer? Last picture, Dagward is in the living room, tied to a chair, hand and foot, while Blondie quietly sits by knitting. Everyone looks happy, but Dagward who growls, the only reason wives cook better than husbands is because wives don't let them practice. No, no, no. Wasn't that funny? Dagward is getting to make a big smell again. Yes, but I'm worried about one thing though. What's that? I wonder if the grass will grow in the spot where they buried the hassenfeffer. What's growing? Well, we'll have to wait a few weeks to find that out. Now look underneath, Dagward and Blondie. Yes, Roy Rogers. Remember. And old Cosmo had discovered that Etchneed was the man who was doing it in order to steal the logs for himself. And to make sure to kill him. And old Cosmo fell to the bottom of the cliff, just as Roy happened to be passing by. Let's quick read and see what happened. Very well. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Ah, yippee-yoh. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yippee-yoh. Roy leaps off Trigger and kneels beside old Cosmo. Hey, Cosmo, wake up. Hey, what happened? How'd you fall down here? I stumbled on Etchneed in old log and camp stealing Bunyan logs. Said he was going to kill me like the others learned his secret. Get him before he gets you. So Pauline Bunyan's own timber cruiser was a mysterious enemy, eh? OK, Cosmo, I'll send help. I'm going after Sneed. Well, he's getting ready for the big log drive. So hurry. Meanwhile, last picture top row, Etchneed and his men are busy pulling their stolen logs down the river. Etch yells, hey, the water's rising. Got to pull these pirated logs to the main river so they'll mix in with a Bunyan drive. Suddenly one of Etch's men exclaims, hey, Etch, that's Roy Rogers coming. I see him. That timber dicks a greenhorn, but we can't take chances. Well, I'll fix him. He'll keep driving the logs to the sawmill. Carrying his timber pike along Paul with a steel tip on it, Etch rushes for shore and toward Roy. Roy yells, all right, hold it there, Etch, Sneed. You're through brand-blocking Bunyan logs and killing men to get wise to your pirating. So you found out, eh, Rogers? Oh, that's too bad. And he raises his pike to throw it at Roy. Just then Wildwood, oh, no doubt, steps off of behind a pile of logs. Roy yells, Wildwood, get back, duck. Yes, you bet it could. But right in front of him. I wonder what'll happen. We'll find out more about this next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Honey and all you boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, sweetie. OK, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Nor forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.