 Hi! It is a brand new year. Actually, it is a whole new decade, which means I don't want to do the same or boring crap that I've been doing on my channel up until, well, there's some things I'll keep doing, but I don't want to keep doing the same or boring stuff. And I think I came up with something that hasn't been done before. And now I know, that's a big claim to make. There's millions of videos on YouTube, but you show me someone else that's done this and I'll go, cool, thanks for ruining my day. So what I am doing is letting a robot, a machine, an AI, a random generator website, which isn't as cool, so let's just call it a robot. Pick the games that I buy and play on the Switch. This is how I've set it up, and I've had to hobble cobble this all together, because believe it or not, something for this does not exist. I went to Wikipedia. As everyone knows, Wikipedia is the world's most accurate source of information, and I found every single Nintendo Switch game released in North America so far on the eShop. I then took that list, and for curiosity's sake, I threw it into a counter thing, and it counted 1,020 games in this list. So the generator is going to pick out of over 1,000 Switch games. And when I hit this button right here, it's going to randomly spit out one eShop game, that hopefully, and the only stipulation here, one that I haven't bought and played before. If I bought and played it, I'm re-rolling. But if I haven't, then I can't re-roll. I have to buy it on the eShop, and I have to play it right now in front of all of you. Will all of the games suck, or will some of them actually be pretty good? That's why it's the whole video. Congratulations. You figured it out, you dumb bum. Oh, money left. What's up, my guy? Oh, I'm allowed a honey. It's completely empty. I'm going to have to buy some more. Buy honey. Dude, honey is free, and it saves you money. I don't think we're talking about the same thing at all. Come with me, you moron. You see, you just got to go to joinhoney.com for what slash beat'em ups it installs in two clicks easy. Boom, boom, you're done. All right, well now what? So easy. Do you want me to wipe your butt as well? Oh, dude gross. Get out of here. All right, let's go shop it. I'll get you a brand new toothbrush, some deodorant, body spray, couple of new shirts, some chewing gum. Are you trying to tell me something? All right, and then we'll go to checkout. Honey pops up over here, applies some coupons, and I'll go to work finding you the best promo codes, coupons, and whatever, and then I'll apply them. It saves you a bunch of cash. Look, you just saved $13 on all of this. Oh, so Honey searches the internet for any coupons and promo codes, and then applies them instantly at checkout. That's super fun. Look at the prices drop. Yep, I've saved money at GameStop Best Buy Walmart, you name it. So I can get Honey for free at joinhoney.com forward slash beat em ups? You got it. You just got to go to joinhoney.com forward slash beat em ups. I know, that's what I just said. Thank you, Honey, for sponsoring this video. Oh, you was right. I do stink. Really quickly before we get started, I do want, and this is something you might hear me say a few more times over the next few months. So you may as well just subscribe now and get it out of the way, or else you're going to get sick of hearing me talk about it. We're really close, really close to hitting a million subscribers on the channel, which is something I never thought I would be able to say words that I never thought would come out of my mouth. But apparently it's the reality of the situation that I am living. I can't say thank you enough for everything that we have together achieved so far. I would not be here without all of you. I put the air conditioner on and it's still a million degrees down here. So you're going to see me sweating in this video and this is nothing I can do about it. Why do I sound like Sean Connery? Random choice. Here we go. First one. Let's find out what it is. I'm really scared. Heroes of the monkey tavern. Okay. My upper lip is sweating. I'm putting the aircon on full bore. Heroes of the monkey tavern. It's $10. That's not too bad. What have we got here? You know what? I don't even want to see. I don't even want to look at the pictures. I'm just going to buy it. May as well throw on some cash because we're going to need it. I think that's going to take a little bit to download. So let's find the next one while we do that. Deadly Premonitions Origins. Doesn't that have a physical? I want to re-roll but I don't have it. All right. Well, there's $30 for $40. Please. Please. Not another $30 game. Keep it under the 30. There are so many like $2 games on Switch. There's more. I swear there's more 50 cent games on Switch than full price games. So how about you get me a cheap one? No, I don't know what that is. Last day of June. Let's find out. Last day of June 20. Come on, man. I haven't actually, I've seen it on the eShop. That's all I know about it. Battlezone Gold Edition. I didn't know there was a regular edition. I don't even know what Battlezone is. Battlezone. Oh wait. Isn't that that one with the tanks? Like the cyber wave punk. What am I trying to say? $35. It looks awful. I don't want this on my Switch. Why does it have a Gold Edition? I need to pay $5. Where did that hundred go? Yeah, close eShop. I'm done. All right. This is going to take a little bit for these to download. And I don't want to go too crazy buying too much more right now. So I'm going to let these download. I'm going to be right back for you. It's going to be like a second for me. It's going to be like however long this takes. And at the end, once I've played these, I'm going to randomly buy one more game. Oh, well, one's done. I guess we can play that one while we wait for the other ones to finish. All right. Finally, I feel like I've been filming for like an hour and I'm finally getting to play a game. All right. Finally, last day of June. Begin story. I feel like this is going to be a very boring game to watch someone play. Okay. All right. Okay. What is happening? All right. Press A to get up. I don't know why that kiss freaked me out so much, but I didn't. I don't like these eyeless, sunken in eye socket, faceless voids of people. Am I leaving on my own? You said your car? Oh, my wait. Is there like a jacket in the car or something? You better be safe. Oh, I can look around. You better be safe. I swear to gosh, if you're not there when I come back, I feel like this is going to be one of those games with a devastating story. What can I do with this? Oh, I can bring her a flower before she dies because I feel like that's what's going to happen. Here, have a flower. Just don't kiss me again. Are the lights on in my car? That's going to run the battery dead, bro. Bro, who am I? Now I'm going to get another flower for my side. I got another flower for my side girlfriend. Where is she? Over on the jungle gym? That didn't sound right. Visually the colors are beautiful, but it looks like mud on the switch. I don't know if this is just how the game looks. Oh, yeah, he's getting a total blanket. Really? I have to go all the way around. Your stubby little arms can't reach across one seat. I feel like something is going to happen to her. I want to explore more, but I'm afraid if I take too long, she's going to get hypothermia or something. Oh, is she drawing me? Oh, that's adorable. Wait, so if I didn't give her the flower, she wouldn't know. I wonder what she would have drawn if I didn't give her the flower. That's kind of cool. Oh, no, what's going on? That was ominous. I didn't like that. What was in the present? I didn't really get scary. It just kind of implied something bad happened after, right? All right, am I dying now? Are we old now? We look older, right? Or I think we're just old. That is a creepy face. The nose doesn't make it any better. Oh, wait, I'm playing as her now. I guess that last character is he's just dead. All right, he's gone. Oh, that is terrifying. They have no mouths, so they just kind of mumble through like a skin hole. Is she cheating on him with the old man? Because she gave him a present that looked just like this. He does not have a bicep like that. Am I supposed to be hiding this present or like presenting this present? This is terrifying. All right, so a bunch of pictures. Old man. That's a guy that was at the door just then, right? She is cheating. She just kissed him. She kissed the photo of him. Here? Yeah, here. That's good. Put it there. Next to the candy ball. That looks nice. Oh, that's actually, yeah, I like that. That's cute. What's wrong with- Here is perfectly fine, woman. Just leave it there. Great, you did it. You are a very indecisive person. You are a very indecisive- You also have too many full portraits of people in your house. You don't need this many portraits of people. Leave it there with a nice note. It says, I love you, honey. You fell asleep on the couch. You are a creepy looking son of a gun. I still love you anyway, because I am just as creepy. Here is a present for you. Why is she reminiscing about that, Jenny? What is so important? I need answers to questions that probably come later in the game, but I'm not going to get to in this video because we have more games that a robot picked for me. Is she- Oh, she's pregnant. My heart actually stopped. I'm not even playing. I thought- I thought something else had happened that was terrifying. All right, you know what? I'm done. I'm done. Actually, I actually liked that game. I might finish that one later when I'm not screaming about it, but right now I feel like I'm about to have a freaking heart attack. I gotta play that one no more. All right, well, very annoyingly now I have to wait for the next one, so. 11 minutes. So I'm going to stop the camera again and go lie down on my floor for the next 10 minutes and try not to fall asleep again. All right, anyway, whatever. Battlezone copyright 2017 rebellion. The rebellion word and logo and the battlezone word and logo are trademarks and maybe registered in certain countries. All rights reserved. A very exciting way to start off the game Battlezone. I'm not sure how that plays into the overall story, but I can't wait to find out. Armies destroyed our cities and forced us underground. I didn't expect such intense voiceover. Only the best can pilot them. I really don't. Insert, combat, operative, identification, nexus. Just say coin. I don't care. I want to, I want to... Let's go. Wait, is this the game? Oh, no. Okay. Thank goodness. That looked very boring. Oh, that's pretty seamless. I thought this was a cutscene. Can I shoot those things down? Pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew! I don't think I can get them. Empty. Oh, no. I wasted all my shots trying to shoot the things out of the sky. What do I do now? I like the music. I don't know if I can play the music, but that's jazzy. I, well, I can't do anything because I wasted all my shots. What am I... Wait, what did I... I did like an EMP post. That was really cool. Oh, I have shots again. I don't know how, but I've got them. Whoa, I'm like picking up gems. This game's actually fun. Now I understand why it got a gold addition. I've looked at this game on the eShop so many times and went... No, thank you. But it's actually pretty good. Oh, what's that big thing sticking out of my head? Oh, you're going to get it now, buddy. This is so fun. Oh, buddy, I have such bigger things going on. Was he hacking me or am I hacking him? Who is being hacked? This game is so good. Do I have like a goal here? Maybe to go up here somewhere? I probably should have watched the intro to learn how to play. Oh, you have met your match. This is the end of days for you, my son. Oh, I am so going to EMPulse you out of the sky. I am so EMPulsing you out of the sky. Come over here, my darling. Mission success. I did it. Not bad. My only complaint is I couldn't shoot those things out of the sky, but I was having a lot of fun. I unlocked artillery MK5. Okay. Wow, glad I got the gold edition. I might actually play this one too. I've actually found two games I like and I thought they were both going to be bad. But I'm excited to keep playing both of these. This is so cool. I should have done this idea sooner, just randomized what games I've won. All right. Well, I actually want to keep playing, but I kind of got to keep moving. So on to the next one, I guess. A hero monkey tavern tale. A tale of monkey taverns. This is the one that I have no frame of reference for what this is going to be. If we're going to have a dud in this lot, it might be heroes of the monkey tavern. Or maybe it'll be really good. It does have monkeys. Every story has a beginning. Every story has a beginning. Oh, geez. I could do better than that. That looks like me in like 20 years. That's me burnt out on YouTube in December. It is the leaning tower of monkey tavern. All right. I don't care. Can I skip? I can be a dragon. Well, I am absolutely being a dragon. Oh gosh. That is a beauty. I'm a very nice person. I'm sure. Oh, she's nice. Don't tell Kip. I want to bet. All right. My last guy, I'm going to go with Undead Geralt over here. Looks like he played a little bit too much Gwent. Ah, what is this? So you press up to grow up. Duh. Oh, I can go. I can strafe too. But if I look, it's still just straves. All right. Oh, this is. Oh, what is happening? Stop. Oh, no. I don't know how to look at this. I don't know what I did. Oh, you just press wider open things. You don't have to look at them. Oh, who do I want to have the knife? Someone that is probably dexterous. That guy, I'm sure he's got good dexterity. This is a maze. I am so lost. Everything looks the same. You do not have the right key. I'm not mistaken. I don't have any key. There's the key. All right. So I'll give it to the dragon. The dragon can be the holder of the key. I can do magic. Pick it up. Pick it up. There we go. Oh, attack now. Do the fire spell that you did before. That you did really easily before. Fire spell. Fire spell. Do something. Fire spell. There we go. Burn. Not dead. Burn some more. When can I use my knife again? Oh, everyone's dead. This game sucks. That was awful. That was really bad. I'm sure it has a demographic. I'm going to stick with games that are good. Deadly Premonition is still downloading. Honestly, that is like a whole experience in games. So while that's doing that, I can't be bothered waiting for that right now. So I'm just going to random choice another game and see what happens. All right. This is the last one I'm doing. I really hope it's cheap and I really hope it downloads quickly. Strix and Ope. Isn't that that really old cartoon? It's 70% off. That's nice. Thank you. Oh, that actually looks like it could be pretty fun. Well, it's on sale. So I mean, it's a sign. I think I have to get it. I mean, it's kind of the rules of the game is that I have to get it. All right. This is the last one. Hopefully it looks like it actually could be fun. Oh my God. All right. I have been waiting so long. It said it was going to take 10 minutes on this one. I watched an entire 10 minute YouTube video and then it still said nine minutes. This idea is going to have to be done differently if I ever do it again. And if you want me to do it again, well then this video will have to get at least 15,000 likes. I mean, smash that like button. One minute remaining on Asterix and Obelix XXL2 colon mission colon. That's not a colon, is it? I don't know what you call two dots. Las Vegas. That name is way too long. I wonder where this game is from. Like is it a Switch game? Is it just a current generation game? Is it a port from another system? What an interesting cut scene. It looks like PlayStation 1 Final Fantasy graphics in the cut scene. It sounds awful. The sound quality is garbage. It sounds like this music was downloaded off LimeWire 20 years ago. And why am I looking at a box? Oh, okay. So this game was released in 2006. It was released on everything. Windows, PlayStation 2, PS4, Xbox One, Switch, PlayStation Portable, Nintendo DS. This was on DS? I just thought it was a really rough game, but all right. It's like 15 years old. I'll cut it some slack. Oh, you know, honestly, for 15 years old, this looks pretty good. Can I switch between characters? Can I, can I play as... Hey, that's actually pretty cool. What is that little thing following us around? What is that? What are those balloons? Can I pop them? No. Well, you did your best. This game feels very PlayStation 2. Like it's following a lot of the same... Oh, is that like a little... Oh, I totally bet. Hand bone. I can double jump. I can ground pound. I can collect helmets for some reason. There's helmets everywhere. I can ground pound over there. Ground pound over here. Ground pound, ground pound. Oh, no, it's enemies. What did I do to you guys? What are they doing? Hey, come over here. Hey, Dwight, come back. Where you going, buddy? What is happening? Now he's following me. If I look at him, he runs away. But if I turn around, he chases me. All right, whatever, die. Time to die. Kind of literally flub your body everywhere. Oh, I knocked his socks off. I don't know anything about these characters. I don't know where they're from. I don't know who they are. I think it was a comic book or something. Play as other character. Play as character 2. Transform into the skinny one. Oh, the dogkin attack. Oh, that's so good. Can I switch now? Oh, now I can. I guess you can switch in battle. That's weird. What's that down there? Are they getting invited to smash? I'm glad this game was on sale, because I don't know how I would have felt about it if I paid $30 for it. Enter fury mode. Hit an enemy repeatedly until your fists catch fire. But beware, fury mode is deactivated if you don't hit enemies. How am I supposed to read this while playing? Okay, am I in it? I guess I'm already in it. That's kind of boring. Oh, I thought that was a giant Yoshi egg. It kind of is a Yoshi egg. This guy has a present for me. That is the exact same present. That was in the first game we played. Tell me I'm wrong. Oh, what is happening to me? Oh, so now I'm like going crazy. The answer to what was in the present in the first game was a potion to make a husband get a little excited on their Valentine's Day. Am I right? Is that, I mean, it's actually pretty good for a beat-em-up. I'm not gonna lie. It's fine. I mean, it's fine. Meet me in the second room. Well, that's not gonna happen. All right, that's, it's fine. I don't really have much else to say about it. And it's not exactly an amazing game. It's just acceptable. I mean, it's on sale right now. It's probably, I'd probably get it now rather than when it goes back up in price. And I'm not gonna play deadly premonition right now because quite frankly, my dear, I can't be bothered waiting for it. I hope you guys had fun watching this. If it's an idea that you'd like to see more of, you're gonna have to let me know by smashing that like button and also letting me know literally down below in the comments. I had fun and actually I found a couple games I like. Again, getting real close to that one meal, it would just mean the world to me if you'd hit that subscribe button. If actually you would flip on that subscribe button and just have a wonderful whatever this is for you right now. If it's your birthday, happy birthday. If it's just a normal day for you, then go outside, do something today, dude. You're wasting your life. Okay, bye.