 with us on Y254 updates. And if you're just joining us tonight, we'll be talking about personal development. And to help us talk about this topic tonight, we have Anita Mbaya, who is a youth leader. She is a former student leader at Deister University and also a PR practitioner. If you want to be part of this conversation, talk to us across our social media platforms. That is at Y254 channel. You can also reach me at Patricia Murioki. Anita, welcome to our studios. Thank you so much, Patricia, for helping me such an owner. You're very welcome. I would like us to first start off. We mostly get to hear about personal development. And I'm sure people watching us tonight have had someone mention or say something about personal development. But I don't really think that probably people really get to dive in and really understand what it is. And that is why I thought it is good for you to come in and help us understand this. So to just start off for someone who's watching us tonight and they don't know what personal development is, would you just give us a very brief definition of what personal development is? This is actually very simple. Personal development refers to activities or things that are used to build identity and create better self-awareness among people so that you're able to create better relationships. This also becomes very important in, of course, employability, building personal relationships. And this personal development basically helps you to holistically embrace your life as you should. Okay, thank you. I like the fact that you use holistically helping you because that means that personal development cuts across every aspect of your life, whether it's financial, whether it's social. So to really now look at what personal development entails, we know their self-worth, their self-awareness, and their self-identity. These are the three things that I really like us to tackle tonight. And I'd like us to start with self-worth. Absolutely. What is self-worth and how has it also helped you to become a better person or for someone who's watching us tonight, how can they be able to integrate the self-worth into helping develop themselves? Well, self-worth is basically very simple. It's just an embrace of oneself, the value of oneself. And of course, when you talk about self-worth, especially we as ladies, it gets a little bit problematic, especially in an era of digital age whereby everything is on social media, everything looks so glossy. And sometimes when media is constantly feeding us figures or just sort of giving us expectations of what we should be and what we should be doing, sometimes you could feel like yourself with this under attack. So basically what we can do is learn to have an affirmation system because most of the times you realize that sometimes people don't validate themselves enough and also taking in compliments. For example, Patrick, you have a very nice chat, right? Most of the people would, the first thing would be to criticize themselves and probably think that you're not good enough. So self-worth basically is built by first of all identifying your competitors. For example, Patrick, you're a very good news host, you're a very good news anchor. Someone else could be very good in mathematics, they could be very good in writing, they could be very good in cooking. So once you identify what you're good in, then you're able to of course create your self-worth, that this is what I am, this is what I can take, this is what I can do. Of course the list goes on and on and of course it's also very important to eliminate self-criticism, just like I told you, sometimes we really judge ourselves harshly and sometimes it's good to develop a system that allows you to, you know, take in compliments. If you've done something good, allow yourself to serve other glory, right? If someone told you that you probably worked on a project very well, learn to take in the compliments and by taking in the compliments you're able to build on your self-worth. Okay, we all know I really like the definition and explanation and actually the practicality of how you've really explained that. But we all know that for me to really be so much aware of my self-worth, for me to become a better person as far as self-worth is concerned, I need to know who I am, where is now self-identity comes from. So how have you been able probably, it is best if you give an example based on probably your own experiences, how has self-identity now impacted your self-worth in your life? Self-identity basically touches for you as a person, like I am aware and by, I am a youth leader, I'm passionate about women, I like doing blah blah blah. So once you've been able to identify what you want, you can then be able to steer towards a particular direction that you want to. Okay, we know that with all these aspects that we're talking about today, when we're talking about personal development, it means that we need to be able to be people who can probably then stand in front of people and defend ourselves when we have to, or address people, or even be people who can come up with solving certain issues in the community and having you here tonight as a leader, as a youth leader and more so as a women leader, what do you think is the importance of personal development in leadership? For someone who's already in leadership and for people, young men and young women out there who are aspiring to one day take up a certain role, whether it's in secondary school, whether it's in campus, whether it's in colleges or even on the national arena. Yeah, that's a very good question Patricia. One thing with, of course, personal development as a leader, it helps you first of all, I didn't know yourself better and by knowing yourself better, you're able to create more time for yourself and also create time for others because as a leader you actively involved in decision making, you of course constantly engaging with people and of course making decisions that improve them. So one important aspect is time. Once you've developed yourself and of course realized, of course, your weaknesses, your strengths, you're able to create time and become a better time manager because of course time is also very critical. So how do you create, you're able to learn how to create time for yourself and also time for the people that you lead. Another thing that could possibly touch on is that personal development is also very critical in developing emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence is very good as a leader because it enables you to build teams, you're able to of course pick things, you know, in a social setting there's so much to pick on so emotional intelligence will also inform certain approaches like I know today Patricia is probably coming from a depressed point of view, Patricia has really worked on this project, she's probably frustrated. As a leader how I approach Patricia and how I'm able to encourage her so that she's able to of course reach her fullest potential or create better results is I have to be very careful in terms of how I address that and how I could of course encourage her to do better. So emotional intelligence is also very good and it is through proper personal development you can be able to touch of course on that. Another thing that I could probably add Patricia is that personal development also cultivates a lot of resilience. Of course leadership is a very it's a very tough space whereby you have to be strong for the people that you lead and people who look up to you. So by building resilience is knowing your breaking points, knowing how much you can take, how much you cannot and when you do that you're able to create an internal resilience that is of course that enables you to shield you when you're leading people or directs you better so to speak. I would like us to touch about we know that for me to become a better journalist I can choose to probably take a certain training for you to become a better peer practitioner you can take a certain probably course to get be very aware about all these things and also for you for every person watching us tonight there are certain things they've had to do to become better probably within their careers in their relationships. So when we talk about personal development what how can we now grow? How can we build our personal development? What do we do? Okay that's a very good question Patricia. First of all the easiest way would be to getting resources that of course enable you to study on a certain subject matter like you asked you want to be a better journalist. So one thing would be of course getting resources that enable you and empower you to be a better journalist and another very critical thing is also getting a mentor in this journalistic space almost for a journalist that's on the peer side. How can you best, can you approach journalists who have gone before you because definitely there are things that you know that you don't know at this age Patricia. So mentors are very important because they get to provide guidance because they've been there they've seen it seen it done it so it gets easier for them to direct you. When you also talk about mentors it's also very important to get if you can it's good to get mentors of different genders for example I can get a woman mentor and a man mentor and this also helps in balancing of opinions because what a woman mentor knows a male mentor probably has a different perspective or a better perspective into that that can be able to of course when I marry and eat this and this I get a better outcome. Another thing for personal development is also self-discipline because if I want to become a better journalist if I want to become a better leader I must be willing to follow these rules and of course stay committed to of course a particular regimen or set of rules that I've set for myself and once you've identified want you want to improve in and of course follow be disciplined enough to stick to your that agenda that can be very achieved. Okay we also are validation absolutely we know validation is something that really impacts builds a person in a very big way especially when you talk about women and ladies and young girls yes what you think really is the impact of validation in a person's journey I don't like you to relate these on probably current numbers that you've had on teen pregnancy okay absolutely do you think that it's because probably our parents or some parents don't say it enough to their children okay to acknowledge them enough for them to feel that they're getting it from home or from another person who is of importance so that when they get it now from probably men you feel like wow absolutely so what is your take on that okay I think Patricia you raised a very critical point here in this COVID-19 period you've had a lot of the teenage pregnancies have been opt off charts and you look at the numbers and wonder are this really I mean how it's really shocking especially now absolutely how did this even happen in the past place yes indeed validation is very important and if I could link that to myself I was very lucky to come from a family that really validates and allows you to of course do as you like and support your dreams my father may stand by they must be watching me and tell me stand by and miss us and by and my sister Gavoni my aunt hi I come from a family whereby I was very well validated I've been very I have been always been a very outspoken child and I've always fiercely you know for followed the leadership path and I have not they have never felt like like they needed to silence me or probably tell me like you don't need to tone down do this they've always been very free with me and I think that environment has really enabled me to become that I have that I have become so being validated from a very young age is very important because first of all it lets girls know that they are worth it even the young men that they can do it and they have all that they need to go out there and conquer the world during this COVID-19 period of course having so many children at home and especially in an African contest where by affirmations and validations yes you're not validated as much you're not told that you can do it you're not told that you're beautiful you're not told that you're capable sometimes when that comes when that affirmation comes from outside an outside source it tends to be a little bit problematic in that these people are found a new territory whereby they're being affirmed and this being very young girls it's very easy for them to be misled and also being taken advantage of so what we're saying is that validation is very important to all the parents watching us at home um validate your children tell them that they're capable tell them that they're handsome tell them that they're beautiful tell them that they're um they're of course just like the babes is wonderfully and fearfully made and true of course um and that that that makes a lot of difference however small or minor it seems that goes a really long way yes uh you are a youth leader you have been you've served in your campus uh life you have appeared practitioner it means that you've you so much you have been on the leadership space for a very long time and I can say for a as a very young person because I happen to know your age because we are friends what really do you have any plans any plans probably uh for the future as far as leadership is concerned are you just okay with what you've been able to achieve so far or do we have expectations of probably seeing you years down the line being somewhere in the country looking for certain positions please let's would you tell us that well um patricia of course um I've been working on a lot of community projects um during the covid before the covid 19 pandemic we've been running a lot of teenage pregnancy campaigns we've been able to do that in a number of counties but of course this it's sort of halted we've also been doing a lot of food mobilization for the vulnerable in the society as you know things have not been really easy for most of us and there's a lot cooking and coming up especially in my county theracanithi county and for now I'm at the community level I'm working with the women I'm working with the youth and if they tell me that they would like me to lead them or they would like me to do a little bit more then I'll be open to that that's what I can say for now so I hope people watching us from that county you have a leader here but getting away from the leadership you don't know my county theracanithi county just mentioned that and as any advice to young people to young men young women watching us tonight but especially to the young ladies who are watching us tonight and they would like to get into leadership what advice do you have for them probably something that you are able to embrace that gave you the courage to start at a really young age what I can say is that every young woman young man watching me is that you can do it you don't have to wait for people to push you you have got all it takes so go right in go right in push for your space and you can definitely do it yes I was now as we probably now come to winding up for this topic yeah I was personal development how is everything that you've been able to talk about today the self-worth the self-awareness the self-identity the validation how has this now probably shaped the young Anita Baye with a youth leader how has this shaped you I've been really lucky to discover myself from a really young age in terms of what I want to do and what I want to achieve what I can say is that take every opportunity to advance yourself and your goals and don't be afraid if you feel like you're an entrepreneur you want to start a small business then do it and of course have the mentors have people who can guide you and it's also very important to get real people legitimate people who can of course guide you through so go for it that is it Patricia this this this know so much yeah this know so much around this so just go for it you can you capable just dive right in okay yeah as you wind up or let us talk to touch on something I feel you know do justice to this topic if we don't talk about our mentorship yeah just like a minute of your time yeah you've talked about mentorship and this is something that I can also see has helped me grow as an individual as far as personal development is concerned having a mentor someone that you go to yeah for someone who's watching us tonight and they're wondering how do I identify a mentor I have this person what really should they look out for when someone is looking for someone they can call their mentor okay I think that's a very good question Patricia because when you talk about mentors I've seen a lot of people do make a lot of mistakes in that you attend a very good conference we we have very nice speakers who articulate or even celebrities and what you're doing is running after them asking them can you be my mentor that is a no go zone that's you don't do that a mentor is someone who who you admire and someone who is in a field that you want to gain expertise from so you really have to get someone who is who is irrelevant to what you're doing so relevance is the first thing you look in a mentor the second thing I can talk about is friendship you need to have sort of a relationship with this person and it needs to be a respectful relationship so do do you respect this person because respect is very important because Patricia if I don't respect you then it gets a little bit difficult right the other thing would be of course to be very professional about it because you've had of mentor-mentee relationships sometimes go off charts so it's very good to establish boundaries in that Patricia is my mentor we we email we probably have coffee once per month we talk about career development you know the guide you they do one two three it's very important to be professional okay another thing I could say is that it needs to be okay this is a mistake that I've observed a mentor should be solely for mentorship purposes because sometimes I've seen people who have spoiled relationships with mentors because they probably asked for money or they you know they brought other issues everyone has issues but if they're your mentor let them guide you towards your desired path not um you know meeting other needs yes meetings meeting other needs thank you very much Anita for really finding the time to be with us here tonight you've talked about a lot that I am sure people were watching us yeah I've really peaked on certain things and for me what I've picked is for parents watching us tonight validation is very important start validating your children as young as two years or even one even before they really get to understand what it is at your scene because you get to build a child who has a very good self-esteem who has a very good self-worth and above all someone who really gets to understand what it is that they want when and when what do they want and what time really do they want it thank you very much for being with us tonight Anita thank you for being with us and that is all we hand for you here tonight until next time have yourselves a very good night my name is patricia or yuki