 Hey, my name is Evangeline. I've recently realized that the way I've been trying to deal with my situation isn't very healthy for me. I've been repressive coping. Repressive coping is when you try to protect yourself by rejecting the negative. Sometimes that's a good thing. You don't want to constantly have negative thoughts. But repressive coping is different. It's not being positive, it's pretending to be. I got so good at pretending that everyone around me thought I was doing great. I started to even believe it myself. I looked strong. And I thought I was. There was something brewing under my facade. Thankfully, Sarah, my therapist, saw through it and helped me identify my unhealthy coping strategy. Here are four signs she saw in me. Fatigue. I was really tired all the time. It's not that I didn't get good amounts of sleep. I could sleep eight hours and still feel like I needed a nap the next day. I thought maybe it was time to focus on my diet more or on exercise. Sarah thought those were great ideas, but she also wondered if maybe there was something going on under the surface. Although emotions cannot give you a cold or the flu directly, studies have shown that emotional repression might weaken our immune system and ultimately have consequences on both physical health, mental health, and our general well-being. Sarah explained it this way. Similar to a physical wound, if left untreated, emotional scars fester and manifest in ways that we wouldn't expect. Repressing your emotions doesn't actually make them disappear. You might push negative feelings away, but they show up in other ways. Sometimes it's fatigue, depression, or anxiety. Even digestive problems or muscle tension. Our emotions affect our physical body and sometimes physical symptoms are a sign that something is wrong on the inside. Volcanic activity. I also tended to blow up on people out of nowhere. I could go a long time without saying anything, but then something small would happen and it would set me off. I would get really upset, but not necessarily over what had just happened. Over time, the pain built up until I just couldn't contain it anymore. I felt like I would burst, and I did. I would feel so bad afterwards. I knew I'd hurt people, but I also had no idea how to control it. Sarah explained psychologists have found repressive coping to be like trying to hold a ball underwater. You try to push it down, but eventually it pops up with a lot of force. She said it's better to let the ball float in the water with you, or in other words, to let the feelings be there instead of trying to push them down. It might not be comfortable at the moment, but it's better than an explosion later on. Eating my feelings. The kitchen became my therapy session. When I felt something uncomfortable, I would run to get my favorite snack. Somehow it made me feel better, or a moment. I could focus on something other than how I felt. I could focus on enjoying the flavors, and it brought a smile to my face. Turns out I wasn't the only one who was doing this. Sarah showed me that some people use food, others alcohol, or video games. Some people throw themselves into their work, and others into the lazy boy watching Netflix. But in the end, the goal was the same. To escape the pain. Struggling with intimacy and long-term relationships. Another thing Sarah and I talked about is how I was so good at making friends but so bad at keeping them. I've always been very friendly, but when others started to tell me their problems, I started to shut down. I had no idea how to talk about negative topics with them. I was really going to be in the life of the party, but not great at honest one-to-one conversations. It felt scary, like going into the ocean without knowing how to swim. I was afraid I would drown, so I would try to keep things light-hearted, and make a joke to break the tension, verbally running away from any uncomfortable subject. I'm a lot better now. Sarah helped me to see that negative feelings aren't bad. Being emotions, negative or positive, makes me human. They're there to teach me and protect me. They're communicating with me. But if I repress them, instead of growing, I hurt myself, and sometimes the ones around me too. If anything I said resonates with you, maybe it's time to start the journey of learning how to feel your feelings. Remember you are valuable and you deserve to live a life that you're proud of. Comment down below and tell us what healthy coping strategies help you feel connected to yourself and those around you. If you found this video helpful, we would be grateful if you could give it a thumbs up and share it with your loved ones. We value your support and can't wait to bring you more informative content in the future. 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