 The Kraft Foods Company presents Wellard Waterman as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. And Kraft, you know, makes the famous pasteurized processed cheese food, Velvita. Velvita has a wonderful cheddar cheese flavor that's rich yet delightfully mild. It's delicious and it's the finest quality cheese food you can buy because it's made by Kraft. The name that for years has meant only the finest in cheese and cheese foods. Get a package or loaf of Velvita tomorrow and enjoy the cheese food of top quality Velvita made only by Kraft. Well, it's evening at the Great Gilder Sleeve's house, about the time when things should be settling down. But when there are active twins in the house, if they explore, reach and pull over everything stage, it keeps a young mother pretty busy. Be still, Linda. How can I get you into your night? Anki, you'll have to keep an eye on Ronnie. I have my hands full. All right, Marjorie. Just a minute. You'll have to put down your newspaper. He's under the coffee table. Good. Then we know where he is. What's he after? Your cigar. Ronnie, give me that. Legos. Well, you can't have it. Cigars stunts your growth. Look at me. They're into everything, Anki. Yeah, they're cute. Now, Linda, you sit here in the middle of the floor while I take care of Ronnie. Now, where's his naivety? Ronnie, what did you do with it? He was trying to stuff it in Bronco's hat a moment ago. Over heaven's sake. Now, Marjorie, perhaps he's planning to go out this evening. Off and forth, this isn't funny. If you had to put twins to bed every evening, their little night owls, that's what they are. Linda, don't touch the piano scar. Yay, you can't pull yourself up by that. You watch the bass. Now, see what you did. Yeah, anyway, it didn't frighten her. Oh, my goodness. I'll pick up the pieces. I just don't think I can take it much longer. Bronco, your mother has to do everything. Now, Marjorie. Bronco! What is running? Oh, Thompson, can't you take a little responsibility for these children? Me? Yeah, sure. Why? Bronco, their mother's having a little trouble this evening. A little trouble? Oh, Marge, I'm sorry. I guess you've had a tough day. Come on, you two. Daddy'll take care of you. Birdie! It's bedtime for the twins, Birdie. You take one and I'll take the other. Will you, Birdie? Yes, ma'am. Marge is a little tired. Just as smart as you just relaxed. Oh, thank you, Birdie. Come on, Ronnie, you clump little old dumpling. Let's go count sheep. Tata, Ronnie. Good night, Linda. Here we go. See if you can get them to sleep, Birdie. Oh, that won't be no trouble. Birdie will have sheep jumping over the fence just like twins, two at a time. What a relief. That's right, my dear. Put your shoes and put your feet up here on the ottoman. You care for a part of the paper? Society section? No, thanks, honky. Let me see the classified section. The classified section? Yeah, there you are. Thank you. You and Broncos still looking for a second-hand sewing machine? Well, right now I'm looking for a job. A job? Marge, you're not serious. Yes, I am. I've definitely made up my mind. No, my dear. Did the events of the evening have anything to do with your decision? Of course not. I've been thinking about going to work for some time. You have. Good mind, sir. Bronco makes a good living. But we can use the extra money. After all, we have a family. And someday we want a home of our own. One salary doesn't go far these days, honky. You have a point there. What about the babies? Well, they sleep most of the day, and Birdie's so wonderful with them. Of course you can depend on Birdie. But how much it'd help Bronco and the things we could do for the twins? Well, Marge, I admire your desire to contribute to the little family. But... I studied typing and shorthand in college. It's a shame to throw all that away. Yes, well... I get excited just thinking about it. Think how much it'd mean to us. My George Marge, I admire your pluck. If that's the way you feel, you have my blessing. Oh, thank you, Uncle Mort. It's your life and Broncos, my dear. Whatever you two have decided is fine with your old uncle. Oh, I haven't mentioned it to Bronco yet. Yeah, you're old Uncle E. You haven't mentioned it to Bronco yet. Oh, he's coming now. I'll talk to him. Well, everything's calm again, Marge. That's what he thinks. It's just the calm before the storm. Honey, sit down here by me. I don't know a better place. Well, I guess I'd better leave you two alone. No, you stay here, Anki. What's going on? Bronco, I was just telling Uncle Mort. I've decided to go out and get a job. What's this? I'm going to help out with the money. I'm going to be a secretary. A secretary? You? My wife? Uh-huh. You see, Bronco? I forbid it. Hey, what's going on? Now, wait a minute, Bronco. What does he forbid? What's going on here? Leo, I'll let you and I keep out of this. I don't know what I'm in. Marge, I forbid it. Well, Anki thinks it's all right. He gave me his blessing. Mr. Gildersleeve, did you do that? Well, Bronco... Hey, what song's a blessing? Regardless of your uncle, Marjorie, of whom I'm very fond, you're not going to do it. What isn't she going to do? Bronco, darling, I am going to. What is she going to do? I can support my family. I can pay the bills. Marge, your place is here. Is she leaving him? No, Leroy, it's just a silly discussion. What's so silly about a man wanting his wife and his home? Well, you're right, Bronco. Uncle Mort, not two minutes ago you said what a help I would be. Well, that's right too, Marge. What's going on? Who's right? I don't know. I'm getting out of here. So, that's why I had to get out of the house, Judge. It must have been quite uncomfortable for you, Gilder. I never should have taken sides. I got trapped right in the middle. Well, it's hard to keep from getting trapped with the middle as big as yours. Judge, please, this is a family crisis. Now, Gilder, you're exaggerating. It needn't become a crisis at all. Yeah, you don't think so? Gilder, if I were you, I'd give Marge a job. Give her a job? Me? Your secretary is on vacation. Ask Marge to take her place for a while. Say, that's an idea. It won't last. We all know Marge is a natural homemaker. You bet. She'd never be happy away from the twins. Well, at the time she made her decision, she was probably annoyed with her daily chores. As the saying goes, man works from son to son. That woman's work is never done. All right, George, I'll get Marge to go to my office tomorrow morning. You think it'll work, Judge? Well, Gilder, if you want her to become bored with office work, I can't think of a more boring office. Oh, watch it, Judge. I'm going to be wonky, but I really want a permanent job. Your secretary will be back next week. Well, Marge, consider it a little refresher course. You can start today. Today? Sure. Yeah, I told you last night, but you're going to bed when I came home. Oh, that's wonderful. I'll take care of the twins, then get dressed in a hurry and go down with you. Well, there'll be a lot of work to do. I run a busy office. You better eat a good breakfast. Oh, I'm too excited to eat. Say, speaking of eating, where's Bronco? Oh, he'll be down. He's upstairs sulking. Well, I'll talk to the boy. I'm sure he'll go along with my idea. What's everybody so happy about? Well, good morning, Bronco. Oh. Good morning, darling. Don't you have a kiss for your little wife? Well... Anyway, I have one for you, because you're the most understanding husband in the world. Oh. Why? I'll be ready in a few minutes, Rocky. What goes on here? Hey, Bronco. Mr. Gildersleeve, I smell a plot. Yes. Yes. It's like this, Bronco. Since Margie thinks she wants to go to work, I decided the thing to do is let her start in my office. Your office? Mr. Gildersleeve, I am unalterably opposed to my wife taking a job. But Bronco, don't you see? We watered it by a little driver crazy. It apparently has its effect on people. You bet. And I fixed it so that before the day is out, Margie will never want to see another office. Oh. Listen, my boy. Listen. I'm going to pile on the work. I know it's a sneaky thing to do, but the result, it'll be worth it. Well, it'll be worth it if it gets this silly idea out of her head. Sure, can't miss. I'm going to pour it on. I'm even having all the jolly boys call the department and make fake complaints. TV, Floyd, the office is going to be in Bedlam. Hey, what's going on? You're going to start jumping at 9 o'clock. What's going to start jumping? Good morning, Leon. Hi, what's going to start jumping? Mr. Gildersleeve, the plan might work. What plan might work? Glad you agree, Bronco. Yes, sir. That's pretty clever. What's pretty clever? You meet me this afternoon outside the office. I'll be there a quarter or five. Why are you going to be there at a quarter or five? Yeah, don't worry, Bronco. I want you to be present when Marjorie throws in the sponge. Mr. Gildersleeve, I have to hand it to you. Who's throwing in a sponge? Now, Leroy, this doesn't concern you. Okay, so it doesn't concern me. Things are going to start jumping. Meet me at a quarter or five. Throw in the sponge, but I don't get in on it. Big deal! Well, Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm right on time. Yep, quarter or five. Let's sneak into the outer office and check on our little working day. I tried to call your office today to see how Marjorie's getting along, but the line was always busy. Yeah, that's the way I had it planned. The Jolly Boys have been grating. Good old PB phoned to put in a complaint about the service. Chief Gates even had a couple of his trustees call from the jail. Good for Chief Gates. Yeah, and Floyd, the Viper's been calling all day using assumed names. Hey, there's the phone now. I guess we'll have to wait, Bronco. Say, I didn't know that. Boy, is she busy? Yeah, what did I tell you? Thank you for calling. Goodbye. Two gentlemen. Marge, aren't you ready to go home? You had a hard day, my dear. Oh, I've been busy, Yankee, but I love it. You do? I took care of all the correspondence on your desk. Say, you did. Uh-huh, and the phone has been ringing constantly. It's been more fun. Mr. Gildersleeve, she says she's been having fun. Yes, well, I... And, Yankee, your barber, Mr. Munson, has been so cute. He's called five times making complaints. Each time he gave me a different name, but I recognized him every time. Mr. Gildersleeve, what have you done to my happy home, now, Bronco? I... Oh, excuse me, I'll get this one. You want a department? Floyd, get off the line. The great Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. You want to get fall wardrobes ready? And, of course, time for the youngsters to go back to school. And to you, mother, back to school time means fixing really nourishing lunches to carry those youngsters through busy energy-demanding afternoons. So, if you don't have Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food, Velvita, on hand right now, let me suggest you get some the very next time you shop. Velvita is so nourishing. It's just the cheese food you need to slice or spread for hearty, hot or cold sandwiches, and to melt for its smooth cheese sauce. Velvita is rich in those important food values from milk that every member of your family needs, especially the youngsters. And, mother, Velvita is one cheese food that's digestible, as digestible as milk itself, so even your little tots can enjoy it. And, believe me, every member of your family will enjoy Velvita with its grand, rich, yet mild cheddar cheese flavor. So make delicious Velvita your handy helper, mother, and make sure your youngsters have the benefit of a lunch that's not only good tasting, but hearty and nourishing, too. Get Velvita from your grocer next time you shop. Just be sure you get genuine Velvita when you buy. Remember, Velvita is the quality cheese food made only by Kraft. So be sure you choose the yellow box with the blue letters that spell Velvita. Well, the customary harmony in the water commissioner's household seems to be at ebb tide. When Marjorie wanted to take a job and her husband Bronco didn't want her to, somebody had to step in with a solution. And who'd think the great Yoderslee would come up with a plan that wouldn't work? Bronco, I did everything I could to make a dislike working at the office. You know, I thought this would be just a passing fancy. Actually, I'd make Marjorie's places in the home the same as you do. Mr. Kilderslee, I'd rather not discuss it. Bronco, where are you going? I'm going for a walk and cool off. You. What in the hell are you going up? Going out, Bertie. Bronco. Yes. What's Marjorie doing? She's upstairs having a fine time putting the babies to bed. Tonight, I thought she'd be bushed. Yes. Bertie, I have to think of some way to get things on an even keel. Yes, sir. Of course. I don't know why I'm worried about it. It's their problem. I did my part. You sure did. I had no way of knowing, Marge. You'd like the job. No, sir. I'm not infallible. No, sir. I'm no miracle worker. No, sir. Might be a good idea if I went to bed and covered up my head. Yes, sir. Hi, George. I've got to get Marjorie out of my office somehow today. A little uncomfortable at the breakfast table this morning. I never saw a son-in-law with such a cold, fishy eye. Yeah, maybe one of PB's cokes will give me a lift. Hello, PB. I don't know what I'm thinking. Do you want to sleep? What can I do for you this morning? I'll have a Coke, PB. Yeah, well. I'll give you an extra-large squirt. Why is that, PB? I imagine you need it, Mr. Gell. It's me, right? Take it you're having a little trouble with your son-in-law. You as a tempest in the teapot, PB. Bronco dropped in here last night and the pot was boiling. Who? What did he have to say? Did anyone know? Well, no, PB. Yeah, I realize Bronco's upset with me, deep down in his heart. He knows I want to do the right thing. The boy has a great respect for me. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Maybe you better tell me what he said. Well, he said if Marjorie wanted to take a job and make the money, he just might give up his. PB, he didn't. He did too. He said he was going to spend the morning in the pool hall. Oh, my goodness. And this afternoon, he thought he'd drift out to the college and watch the football team practice. Yofer, he can't do that, PB. It might not hurt, Mr. Gilder, please. You know, sports are a fine thing to get a man's mind off his troubles. I was a great football fan myself when I attended Pruitt Pharmaceutical College. That's my motto, you know. Yeah, I know, PB, I know. I wouldn't want this to get out, Mr. Gilder, but I used to be a cheerleader. Oh? Mm-hmm. Megaphone and everything. I used to stir them up. I'm here to tell you. They called me Pepper Peavey. Pepper Peavey? Yeah, that name hardly fits now. I don't know. With a Vivo, with a Vivo, with a Vivo, Vivo, Vom. Yofer. Johnny get a rat trap bigger than a cat trap. Johnny get a cat trap bigger than a rat trap. Maybe. Countable six, boom, bop, Pruitt Pharmaceutical, rah, rah, rah. Phew, I'm glad that's over. You know it isn't. We followed that for the double locomotive. P. R. U. I. Peavey, Peavey, stop. No, no, no. I can pray me that you don't care whether Pruitt wins or not. Pruitt Fui. Goodbye, Pepper Peavey. Hi, George. Yeah, I'll settle this thing once and for all. Yeah, I'll just go in the office and tell Marjorie to go home. Tell her she isn't working out. No, I couldn't say that to little Marjorie. Yeah, why don't I just tell her the truth? That Bronco's a bum. He's just gonna walk the streets and let her support him. Yeah, I'll bet that'll make her scoot for home. Marjorie. Oh, what is it, Auntie? Marjorie, in the best interest of everyone concerned. I think you better give up your job. Why? I'm enjoying every minute of it. Well, I hear from a reliable source that if you insist on working, Bronco's gonna give up his job. Oh, he's sulking again, is he? Yeah, Marjorie, if I were you, I'd let him have his way. Uncle Mort, I love Bronco dearly, but that's the trouble with him. His parents have always let him have his way. And I won't tolerate a spoiled husband. Well, my dear, let's look at it this way. Which way? Well, as a matter of fact, my dear, this is difficult for me to say. I must be brutally frank. Yes, Auntie? Why? Well, you're just not cut out to be a secretary. Oh, I'm sorry, Auntie. What have I done that's wrong? Well, it's hard to put my finger on it. I know you've enjoyed pretending here, Secretary, but this is business we're running, a big business. I thought I was doing all right, Auntie. Yeah, I know that. Most inexperienced people think they're doing all right when they aren't. You know how the mayor is. He's a stickler for efficiency. And I have to see that he continues to get it. He's been pretty happy with the way I've run things. Am I interrupting things? Yes. Yo, hello, Mr. Mayor. Gildersleeve. Marjorie, do you have those letters ready for me? These letters? Yes, Mr. Mayor. Here, they are in triplicate. Ah, thank you. Ah, beautiful typing. Oh, thank you. And my secretary was a little rushed, Gildersleeve, so I brought these down to yours. I had no idea that your niece Marjorie was here. Yes, well, just filling in, you know. Nonsense. I've had some wonderful reports about your department the past two days. Yeah. And that's unusual, Gildersleeve. Well, I said, look at your neat desk. This is the first time I've been able to walk in and see whether or not you were behind it. That's very amusing. I've been thinking, Gildersleeve, if Marjorie likes this job, we should keep it permanently. Oh, isn't that wonderful, aren't you? Oh, yes, wonderful. Yes indeed. Keep her around, Gildersleeve. Who knows? Someday we may have a lady water commissioner. What's so funny about that? Well, Marjorie's taking care of all the work on top of my desk. Let's see what's in the do-it-now file. It's been done. I don't have anything to do around here. Here are some letters for you to sign, Anki. Yeah, thank you, Marjorie. I was just looking for something to do. Marjorie, forget what I said about your work. The mayor's right. You're an excellent secretary. I knew you didn't mean what you said, Anki, and I do love it here. Yeah, I know. But what about Bronco? Don't worry about Bronco. He'll get over his tantrum. Yeah, I guess so. He isn't so domineering. He lets you vote, doesn't he? Well, of course, Anki. Well, I have a little more typing to do. Is the water commissioner secretary... Well, Birdie. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Birdie was doing some shopping, so she stopped him to see how I workin', girl. Yeah, she's the pride of City Hallbird. Yes. How are the twins, Birdie? Oh, they're fine. Mr. Bronco's home playing with them. Oh, he's a dear. Excuse me, Birdie, I have to finish my typing. Yes, ma'am. I want to see you work that typewriter. You know, there's plenty of time, Marjorie. It's only three o'clock. Mind, mind. Look at her fly. You don't mind if I talk while you work, do you, Miss Marjorie? Oh, not at all, Birdie. That's good. Because I got to get on back home. But I wanted to tell you how cute the twins have been today. What have they been doing, Birdie? Well, you know how little Linda's been trying to stand alone? Well, today she pulled herself up for the first time. She did? I caught her holdin' on to the door and peepin' round the corner. I think she was looking for her mother. Oh, Birdie. Yes, and she sure is a smart baby. But she's got to go something to keep up with that little Ronnie. He's gonna be sayin' words any day now. Birdie, he isn't old enough. Well, you ain't there to see what I see and hear what I hear. Today, he came mighty close to sayin' a word. What did he say, Birdie? It sounded just like he said, mama. That's you. Too bad nobody else was around to hear what that cute little boy nearly said. Excuse me, Birdie. Oh, I'm just havin' a picnic with them children. And I'm the only one that's seein' all the first things they do first. Right there, the suite is cute. Uncle Marjorie, where are you going? Uncle Mort, you were right. I'm not a good secretary. You've been Marjorie? I'm resigning on you. You don't mind if I leave a little early? No, of course not. Oh, you've been wonderful. Goodbye, Uncle Mort. Well, she got out of here to hurry. Yes. That was pretty clever of you, Birdie. Getting Marjorie to go back home. Me? I'm on to you, Birdie. I'll bet those twins slept all day. They were gonna stand up and say a word. Yes, they were, Mr. Gilslee. In fact, little Linda came mighty close to sayin' Unky. Hey, Unky, you're doing my hat. Mr. Gilslee, where are you going? Birdie locked the office. I'm heading for home. The great Gilslee will be back with us again in just 30 seconds. Looking for a good food buy? Then get Velvita, Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food. Velvita is one of the best food buys you can make because Velvita is not only delicious, but it's nourishing, too. And you can use Velvita so many ways, in snacks, sandwiches, and for a variety of economical hot main dishes. Melt Velvita for a smooth golden cheese sauce to extend leftovers, or to use in new made dishes. Make it your handy helper for all kinds of money-saving hot meals. Get it tomorrow. Your best buy in cheese food, Velvita. Made only by Kraft. Hey, what is it, Marjorie? Come upstairs, Mr. Gilslee. Ronnie said a word. He did. He hold everything. Here I'm coming. Birdie, upstairs. Quick. Ronnie's talking. What did he say, Marjorie? What did he say? Could you understand him? I was just as plain. He said your name, Mr. Gildersleeve? What a brilliant child. Birdie, he said Uncle Mark. Oh, bless that little fella. Now he's going to say it again. Aren't you, Ronnie? And Linda's watching, you see? Here he goes. Listen, everybody. Ronnie. Huh? Ronnie boy. Who's this? Who am I? Tell them, Ronnie. That's life. Good night, folks. The great Gildersleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White of The Partially Transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, William Randolph, Dick Brenna, Lee Keele, Stanley Barar, Earl Ross, and Dick Lagrange. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of those famous Kraft quality foods. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gildersleeve.