 This is P.S.C. X opening the doors of the Mystery Playhouse once again, and for your pleasure tonight, we selected a mystery play that has been recognized by many critics as a modern classic. It's Ladies in Retirement, written by Edward Percy and Reginald Denton. It is not a hoot on it. You'll know the murderer. Your problem will be to guess whether enough the murderer will be caught. And if so, how? I think you'll find a guessing very fascinating. Listen now to Ladies in Retirement. Ken's River, below Graves End, is a place called Estuary House. There, seated before a piano, is an aging woman, wearing a flaming, unabashed, red wig. She is singing a song of her youth. What wrote me that you were bringing her down here as your housekeeper? Uh, shall I have to wait long for Aunt Ellen? About a week. She's gone up to London. A week? Oh, Lord, that has done it. I'm done for. That's all, just done for. Is something wrong, Albert? Well, I'm short in my petty cash account at the bank, and if I don't put it back by the time the cashier checks up tonight, it's, well, it's the junk for me. I, uh, don't suppose that you... What's the amount? Well, it's 12 pounds. Cards? Racing? A girl? Oh, no, an actress there. There was a company in Graves End last week. Oh, at the old grand. I play there myself. Front row in the chorus. Oh, yes, a girl, of course. Well, you shall have your 12 pounds, Albert. Like to see where I keep my petty cash? In the fireplace there. No, here in the old bake oven. Bake oven? Lummy. Why, you could roast, uh, whole ox in there. Oh, it is big for what's in it. Now, let me see. Here's five. Another five. And one. That's right. 12 pounds. Oh, you are a peach mitsis. Well, Albert, there's no reason you're Aunt Ellen need ever know you've even been here today. You can pay your first official call this day next week. Be a bit of a family reunion for you then. Aunt Ellen's in London. She's gone up to fetch her Aunt Louisa back to visit. Aunt Louisa? Oh, no. Oh, Ellen's told me about Louisa. She says she's well, uh, rather pathetic. Pathetic? Trust Aunt Ellen to give it the best name. Well, Miss Fiske, I hope you've got strong nerves. You'll need her meditating my pathetic old Aunt Louisa. Louisa dear, don't you think you could take your bird outside now? Oh, please don't be cross with me, Ellen. He's such a soft, quiet bird. Yes, dear. But I think you'd much better take him out into the garden and bury him. You know how Miss Fiske feels about your bringing things like that into the house. I hate her. Miss Fiske in her horrid red wig. We have her to thank for these four months here together. Ellen, can't we send Miss Fiske away? And then we could be really alone. But I keep telling you, dear, this is her home. Oh, you won't send me back to London to the awful ugly street? Ellen, promise. Promise me you'll never send me away. Oh, my darling, I do promise. I promise nothing shall ever make me send you away. Run along now, dear. I'll send her to the garden. Quick, run and fly. Yes, my darling. Yes, please give me a little more time. Time. I invited your sister here for a few days and she stayed on for four months. Well, couldn't she stay here permanently? I'd pay for her board. You could take it out on my wages. So that's what you've been scheming for. I didn't scheme. I only hoped. Oleona, when my father was dying, he made Louisa over to me. She's a sacred crust. And I... Well, I've nowhere else to send her. I won't. Do, Ellen, you haven't been fair with me from the start. You never told me Louisa was... Well, what she is... I told you she was rather pathetic. Pathetic, eccentric. She's feeble-minded. I say your sister belongs in an institution. I will not have her here any longer. She's got to get out. Very well, Leona. It's your house. And I'll take Louisa out of it by sundown. By sundown. Of this very day. Lucy off on her holiday? Don't worry about, Miss Disks. Stop her, Louisa. Oh, a driver. Put her this hill. Louisa, I'm getting out now. And I'm going back to the house. Oh, but... I'm going to try to persuade Miss Disks to sell us her house. Oh, oh, you are clever. Oh, Ellen. Now, quiet please. I want you to put your hand on your heart and swear enough. Swear that as long as you live, you will never tell anyone about my trying to buy Miss Disks' house. Ellen, you're frightening me. Swear it, I say. Now, this instant. All right, Ellen. I swear on my heart. There. There, that's my good darling. Oh. Oh. Oh, give me a scarf, please. My scarf? But, Ellen... You won't need it in the carriage, Louisa. And I might need it. Where I'm going. Thank you, darling. You can go now, driver. There you go, ma'am. The vicar was here. For a few minutes. He asked when... Oh? I said I didn't know how long she'd stay abroad. How surprised he'd be if he knew she isn't coming back to this house at all. Louisa, of course she's coming back here. I'm afraid you've overexcited her, Albert. Now, Louisa, darling, run along upstairs and take your nap. Oh, but I wanted to have supper with him. You asked me to supper, aren't you? Don't you think you'd best know why I've come? Well, what do you mean, Albert? Well, I've no time to beat about the bush. The police are after me or will be, as soon as the bank gives him my description. The bank? Albert, you haven't stolen money from the bank. Oh, it's my first mistake, aren't you? Now, if you'll just hide me until it's safe to leave, I want to make a fresh start. A medical start. A medical start. A medical start. Australia, anywhere. But still, they might search this house. Well, no, they won't. Now, I didn't meet a soul on the way over from Graves Inn, except your vicar, and he'll forget me in five minutes. I know these absent-minded old duffers. Well, don't look at me as if I were a murderer, aren't you? Or maybe light-finger, but I haven't got blood on my hands. No. No, you haven't. I'll hide you, Albert. I've no right to turn you away. Lady Louisa, will you cheat me again at Quimby draw, or shall I tickle the ivories a bit for you, hey? Well, you are so funny. Well, I'm glad you appreciate me, me old stalker Celery. Here's a tune just your vintage. Remember? Don't you like it? Ellen doesn't. She made me stop humming. I expect she got tired of you and Mrs. Sisk singing it. I shouldn't have said that. Yes, you said it once before, and Aunt Ellen shot you up. Well, I swore for Ellen. I'd never tell anyone. She's bought this house from Mrs. Sisk. Auntie bought this house from Mrs. Sisk? Oh, go on. She couldn't have. She lost all her money. Hey, keep it. She's got most of it back now. Yes, she now. Auntie always was a shrewd old canary. I, uh, wonder if she keeps much cash about the house. Bake-oven doors open. So you're the burglar. Here now. There's nothing behind that dormi-girl. Mrs. Sisk kept all her money there. The old bake-oven. Bake-oven, my foot. Here. It'd been done while I was on my holiday. But whatever for? I don't know, Lucy, my love. But I'm sure I'm going to find out before I'm through around here. Ellen's been writing a letter, and I have an idea. It was an answer to the one that came special messenger from Mrs. Sisk this morning. Well, you must be off your head. Oh, quiet. Lie to your query. Can't make out the next few words. The signature on the check made out to Ellen Creed is mine. Oh, into a sprained wrist. There may have been discrepancies in my signatures on recent checks. Yours very truly, Leonora Fisk. Leonora Fisk? Try. You don't find Leonora Fisk? Well, she's fooling the bank and taking Mrs. Sisk's money. Recognize this, Lucy? Found it tucked out of sight and a cupboard upstairs. What's Mrs. Sisk's wig? Her best red wig. That's right. Now, Lucy, I've got a scheme to get to the bottom of all this, but I'll need your help carrying it out. Well, what is it you want me to do? Easiest pie and simpler, Simon. Tonight, when Aunt Ellen's in bed, you ought to put on this red wig and sit down at the piano and play us a tune. Sort of a tableau, you might say. And someday, Lucy, you may be playing for me in a house that's our own little home, eh? No, no, no. You tempt the only saint out there. Very good to me, Albert, after I fainted last night. It's a dangerous habit of yours, sleepwalking. I wasn't sleep. Thought I heard something, and I came down to investigate. Steady auntie, you're a ghost again. It was only me knocking out my pipe on the bake-up indoor. Did you think someone inside was knocking to get out? What's behind that remark, Albert? Oh, you'll know very well. By the way, here's something you may want. Sort of a souvenir. They're Nora's wig. Then it was you last night. That's right. Me and Lucy. Look, she was at the piano wedding wig, and, well, the game's up, aren't they? Lucy knows too. Oh, she suspects something's up, but she's got no real idea. Trust little Albert for that. You know, auntie, I've changed my mind about leaving England. Matter of fact, I'll need a little money for a wedding present. I might decide to marry Lucy. So you've come to the conclusion that it's safer to be a blackmailer than a thief. That's right. But surely you wouldn't want to stay on here with me. Oh, well not. You'd never be quite sure, would you? You've got a hearty appetite, Albert. Do you think you'll enjoy your meals now? Yeah, you'd never do it a second time. You're bluffing. Am I? It takes quite a bit of courage to kill the first time. But once you've sold your soul to the devil, it comes easy. I think you know I did it to provide my poor sister with a home in happiness. She's all I have, and she was left in my care. And don't think I'm going to hand over what I've taken for her to a treacherous little sneak. Watch it. What's that? Oh. Oh, good morning, Vicar. I thought perhaps you should know my wife's just had a call from the graves in police. Oh, police? Graves in, you say? Yes. They're looking for a young man who's stolen some money from a bank. The description was very like your nephew, Miss Creed. I've got to move fast, Auntie. Got any cash, Andy? Yes, in my purse. Here, Auntie. Ah, well, thanks a lot, Auntie. My wife didn't know your nephew was here, Miss Creed, so naturally she said nothing about him to the police. They've gone to ask at Decoy Farm. Decoy Farm? That's quite close. Well, you win, old girl, don't you? No hard feelings, though. I'm a game loser. I am. I'll see you in church, eh? Aye, I'm sorry it was your nephew, Miss Creed. I'm afraid he won't get far. Goodbye. Goodbye, Vicar. And thank you. Well, Lucy, you can come down off that stair landing now. Lucy, do you hear me? Ah, just a... Eavesdropping can be a very dangerous thing. Well, how much do you know? Look, only about, Mr. Albert. Nothing about you, nothing at all. Oh, no. Why should you be afraid of me, Lucy? Sit down. No. Yes, I know. Decoy Farm. Some gentlemen from Graves Zender there. Lucy wants to talk to them. Graves Zender? Are they friends of Albert? No. Not friends, Louise. Tell me. My darling, have you been happy while you've been here? Oh, yes. And so, so lovely and peaceful here, Albert. Oh, I hope Lucy won't bring those gentlemen back here. She won't. I promise. Have to tell you goodbye. I have to go now. Over to meet those gentlemen. Creeps, you've been listening to ladies in retirement, written by Edward Percy and Reginald Denham, and adapted for radio by Elizabeth and Jane Park. The original music was composed and conducted by Alexander Semler. Miss Leslie Woods was featured in tonight's play. The Armed Forces Radio Service.