 Hey, Mary Lee Johnson here with the 21 Report. And we're here with SOC. And you just gave your 2014 keynote address. Great speech. I think I would have to say that to you every time. And I told you before that normally I get a couple questions. And sometimes with people, I don't have any questions. I'm like, what am I going to say to them? But you, I have like 15 pages of questions. So I'm going to try and ask maybe not the best questions, but the ones that I really want to know. So the number one thing right away that how do you realize that someone is either not a good person or not just good for you in a relationship? Sometimes you're in a relationship for months at a time before you realize that this person isn't a good person or maybe just isn't good for me. Is there a way that I can tell that faster? Like maybe a weekend? You can do it immediately. And I'm kicking myself because I'm having just listened to Doug McGuff's talk where he talked about 30% loss in what you intend to perform at. And that was one of the bold points I wanted to talk about is that when I talk about crazy and people that are sociopaths and psychopaths and people that are even just drama related, I was very disparaging towards them and rightfully so. But I have to give credit to crazy where it's earned. They're truthful. And being truthful individuals, crazy will tell you they're crazy. I mean, I just ask, one of the first things I do when I screen is I'll sit down and ask, are you crazy? Are you a good girlfriend? Would you make a great wife? Would you make an outstanding mother? And if those are things I'm looking for and I value, I listen to what you'll tell me. And I'm willing to walk away right then, no investment, right then to protect myself and to make sure I'm going after what I want, not short-term interest. And so I get an accustomed to screen people out. And I simply will ask. And then the other thing I'll do is I don't listen to what people say because people learn to parrot back responses. We see this in the Miss America contest and they try to sit down and tell you they're virtuous and they don't really know what virtuous is. And they tell you, I don't step on snails and I don't kick squirrels. And that's not virtue. That's nice, but that's a really low bar. So then what I'll try to do in part also developing connection reporting is I'll ask them about that. Tell me more about that. Tell me about the things that would be virtuous. And I start looking for things that they have told me or had led me to follow a thought process into. And I'll pursue that conversation thread based on virtue. And I try to get them to tell me examples of how they've been virtuous, not that they are, but how. What have you done in action? And so those are two things that I'll do. I'll ask about crazy. And then I look for virtue and I see, try to look for it in action. So when you're dating somebody and you find out that, or you just discover they're not really all that virtuous, are you being virtuous by staying with them? No. Okay. But it's throttled to what degree? I mean, when we talk about perfect marriages, when we talk about perfect relationships, we're not talking without flaw. We're not talking immaculate. And there's a difference in terms. If we talk immaculate, that would be pristine and nobody's immaculate. There is no immaculate. But we can have perfect marriages, just like we can have a perfect martini. It doesn't mean it's the best martini you've ever had in the world. It's just without major flaws. It's perfect. And to sit down and look at that, we all have flaws. God knows I do. And so I don't wanna throw stones where I don't wanna live. And I know I live in a glass house. So I sit down and say, are these things that I'm able to manage? How meaningful are they? Are these things are really detrimental to my fundamental beliefs? And then to have standards and to sit down and say, I'm willing to accept this and I'm not willing to let that. And then the question then becomes is this individually willing to work with it? If it's truly an issue, am I free to discuss the issue with the individual? And can we work with it together? So when I talk about being, for example, marriage potential, being in an area between that and the human ideal, you're looking for people that know their purpose and are willing to work towards that goal. And if they realize that, hey, this issue is really important to my partner, am I willing to work with that to preserve that relationship, to protect that relationship? And to be the virtuous individual they want me to be and I want to be myself. And I think ultimately people want to be virtuous. So I think it's kind of an easy sell. So when somebody is calling you selfish for doing an act or being in a relationship, what is the difference between the bad kind of selfish that we associate and you're just self-interested? And it's interesting, you know, we talk about egoism, you know, straight that way. Is it pro-social? Okay. Okay, and anything that's virtuous is gonna be pro-social. Okay, it doesn't mean it's not self-interested, okay, or there isn't some self-response or value pulled from it, but it's not so self-centered to be detrimental to a greater good. Okay, and to, especially being in a social sense. And the smallest society we'll have is between two partners, two people. It's the smallest form of governance. And governing social behaviors and social conditioning elements to that is important. So it may be selfish, it may be self-interested, it may be also terribly pro-social. And if they're pro-social, they're beneficial. If they're counter-social, then you have an issue. Then they're damaging. That's really good information. It's been really informative and I know that we have to get going and I've enjoyed talking to you and I'm sure our audience has enjoyed hearing from you. They can go to ManningupSmart.com. ManningupSmart.com, you can find me there. You can, your best bet is actually go to the table of contents, find out, because the blog posts are actually done by categories. And to actually take a step back, I know we're starting to have a really great dialogue and everything else. And this is one of the things I really love about the 21 Convention. It's not just the free presentations or this video that you'll see, is the fact that 10 minutes from now, the entire group and attendees will have access to me for another 72 hours. That we'll be able to share, develop that cultural network, those social bonding elements. And that to me is truly with the value of coming. It's not just the videos, as much as we all like the videos, it's to be able to talk to the people. It's able to talk to Doug McGuff and talk about fitness and health and strengthening muscles and how does that deal with strengthening virtues. And looking at Ed Akin and talking about a virtuous guy who's all fucking alpha. I mean, really, if the guy's a beast. And having that play in relationships and be able to show him in comparison to something that would be counter terribly anti-social. I do love it when I come here because it isn't just the video. Seeing it on the computer or on your TV is so much different. You see these guys over a three-day conference. They come in on one day and they're kind of unsure and none of them are friends with each other. And then by day three, they're all just like, we're in it together. It's called camaraderie and it binds you together. And they're more confident. Like they're just so happy, different people. It is, it is. And you don't get the warmth, the human condition through video. You just don't. So with that, we will leave you with this video. This has been Maryleigh Johnson and Socrates for the 21 convention. Thanks for joining us.