 Okay baby seals! I'm going to meet me some new baby seals in Budapest soon and if you want to have a counseling session with me in Budapest which is still the capital of Hungary we can meet between the 20th January 20th and January 30th 20th to the 30th all the baby seals are invited to join too in particular and maybe more so write to me at samvacnin at gmail.com samvacnin at gmail.com that's my email address and we will set up an appointment now a point of order before we go to today's video and just to clarify the topic of today's video is to have children or not to have children to kid or not to kid that is the question I'm gonna review literature as to why people refuse to have children why they don't want children anymore throughout the world everywhere from China to Russia from the United Kingdom to the United States some parts the number of children is not enough to cover up for the number of dead people it's called the replacement rate the replacement rate is under 2.1 that means that populations are aging and shrinking why do people not want to have children these bundles of joy and happiness but before we go there whenever I mention whenever I analyze a despicable rotten perfidious truly corrupt fake character all of you immediately write to me and surmise that I'm referring to Richard Granon I wonder why I don't mention his name almost anywhere the only two times I mentioned Richard Granon's name was to announce that I will no longer be collaborating with him under any circumstances if he were the last man on earth and that I'm not involved or associated with nor do I of course endorse any of his products these are the only two times that I've mentioned his name all the other videos that refer to predators and really really horrible people I don't mention his name at all so why is he the first person to come to mind why do you write to me asking me commenting speculating gossiping it's not nice it's really not nice okay Shoshanim and baby seals from lightweight pure rile wannabes to serious matters kids children it seems that there is a kind of global decision by populations all over the world to not become parents a renting is out of fashion a renting is deemed to be irrational is there any grounds for this are there any grounds for this is it is it rational to not be a parent let's review the evidence now in the description under the video I'm gonna place all the references to whatever it is that I'm going to say so just in case of doubt just go down click on the links and feast on do it yourself research let's start with your health it seems that kids are bad for your health yeah you've heard me right these bundles of joy are also bundles of illness according to researchers the University of Minnesota mothers I'm quoting mothers consume more calories and get less physical activity than women with no kids you wouldn't believe it looking at mothers running after their kids in playgrounds but this is a fact men also have negative outcomes after becoming fathers but mothers were most affected many mothers majority of mothers transitioned to a much higher body mass index BMI they ate less healthy food and they consumed more sugary drinks total calories the saturated fat both types of parents mothers and unfortunate fathers also exercised less than people without children all in all it seems that kids take away shave off years from your life expectancy there is bed is COVID-19 okay you say but you know we are amply compensated because children are happiness children are joy children are cheer right wrong kids are seriously bad for your mental health now this is not a single study these are dozens of studies in all cultures and societies all over the world over seven decades as the Atlantic puts it parents are at risk for depression parents are less happy than their childhood child less counterparts and then repeat this because it sounds counterfactual but it's the truth parents are less happy and when I say less happy I mean like a lot less happy than their child less counterparts while many assume that having children is the key to happiness there is evidence that proves the contrary in fact depression appears to be a common side effect of having children you have been warned okay what about stress yes kids are there too kids create a lot of stress there are stress engines there are stress machines kids really stress parents out they demand time they insist on attention they put stress on your pocketbook of course according to a study published in science news and I'm quoting when the daily stress of parenting becomes chronic it can turn into bearing out which of course can have serious consequences for parents and children alike so there are many good reasons to have children you say let's continue to peruse the evidence let's try to find one because reviewing the literature well over 600 studies I couldn't find a single good reason to have a child except what society tells you and your family it's like misery likes company your parents were miserable because of you and now they want you to be miserable because of their grandchildren kids are seriously bad for your romantic relationship and I'm quoting no less an authoritative source by cnn which quotes quotes a series of studies so according to the cnn your romantic relationships suffer once you have children now this comes as no surprise to the vast majority of parents researchers found that I'm quoting the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples instead of being lovers you are now parents which is a full-time all-consuming job your focus tends to be on the children not on each other not on your spouse okay what about income in the past children were considered a kind of insurance policy you brought children to the world because they could work with you in the farm or in the factory and they could take care of you at all in old age so you brought children to the world as a form of annuity but today the situation is reversed raising kids is not cheap this world is very complex modern develop the high price tag of having a baby is a major deterrent when people are asked why are you not having babies they often quote money according to market watch as and I'm quoting as of 2015 American parents spend on average $233,610 on child costs from birth until the age of 17 and this does not include another hundred thousand dollars on college that's close to half a million dollars the number in switzerland is a million swiss francs children are by far the most costly investment and venture anyone would have in a lifetime kids also make you kids also demand resources they consume resources for example kids disrupt your sleep they cause insomnia especially newborns they keep you up at night it's not just newborns by the way older children get sick they have nightmares they need to go to the bathroom I don't know what it's no wonder that according to studies reported by the guardian new parents face up to six years of sleep deprivation and as any medical doctor would tell you sleep deprivation is closely linked to the to risks of the increasing risks of dementia stroke and heart attack who said children are not healthy now kids are bad for your sex life remember sex vaguely you remember what to put where and why because kids make you forget sexual intimacy tends to decline after you have a baby doctors suggest that women abstain from intercourse for four to six weeks after childbirth and after these six weeks women may still experience and often do experience pain during sex sex also takes a nosedive because of fatigue hectic schedules and a very negative body image stretch marks anyone not to mention cesarean incisions okay you say forget us let's look at the bigger picture let's look at the planet there's nothing more terrible for the environment than children according to a study reported in the independent i'm quoting having children is the most destructive thing a person can do to the environment suv is nothing compared to a child a child pollutes a lot more than any suv you can save according to studies in sweden you can save 58.6 tons of co2 equivalent emissions per year per child that you don't have so every year you're saving 60 tons of co2 by not having a child take into account that the average life expectancy of your child is 80 years and multiply 80 by 60 it's 5000 tons of co2 per child unborn if you give up on your car you save 2.4 tons of co2 equivalent per year a child pollutes 27 times more than any polluting car imaginable and babies make a lot of trash every year babies in north america alone are responsible for using 30 to 40 billion you heard me correctly 30 to 40 billion disposable diapers that end up in landfills in the united kingdom there's an estimated three billion diapers thrown away every year now i have no idea why babies in the united states use 10 times as many diapers as or adjusted per capita use three or four times more diapers than babies in the united kingdom but it's a shitty situation in any case coming back to your pocketbook your earning power and your secure future kids demolish your earning power having kids negatively affects your parents ability to make money the parents ability to make money especially if you're a woman according to the u.s. census bureau reported in today's parent women who have children between the ages of 25 and 35 are most affected by the gender age gap why because young children and young careers are mutually exclusive they're both highly demanding you have to sacrifice one of them kids can kids can also make it tough for you to get a relevant education according to the same the same source which is the u.s. census bureau women who have babies very early and women who have babies babies very late are less affected by the gender wage gap however there's a catch women who have children too early tend to be less educated lower earning people okay you say money is not everything in life there are friends and friendships I should know I just lost one fake as he may have been so kids cause you to lose friends also unfaithful partners but kids definitely do kids cause you to lose friends due to a lack of time busy schedules changing priorities whatever the reason may be kids have a negative impact on your closest friendships these friendships change or dissolve all together and this is the sources psychology today kids damage not only your friendship but the totality of your social life they make it very tough to navigate a social life in many ways you're too tired um to stay up late you can't go out you can't afford a babysitter you cannot afford to have a hangover because you have to be up at the crack of dawn the next morning you name it kids imprison you they shackle you they hold you hostage forget about social life and consequently the cumulative stresses lead to divorce your romantic relationship and your sex life suffer once you have children and if this is left unchecked this decline eventually leads to a divorce parents may be dissatisfied in their marriage but ironically the likelihood of them actually getting divorced declines with having children so there's a dual a dual impact here if you start off by being unhappy in your marriage and then you have a child the likelihood of divorcing declines but if you start off being happy in your marriage and then you have a child the likelihood of divorce skyrockets that's perhaps because unhappy partners feel that they must stay together for the sake of the children despite being unhappy and back to climate change um i said that children contribute to climate change but they contribute to climate change in a variety of ways for example by being driven to school according to ontario's transit agency metro links as reported in the global may global mail i'm quoting the percentage of 11 to 13 year old olds walking to school in the greater toronto and hamilton area nearly halved between 1986 and 2016 while the number of kids being driven in cars nearly tripled back to your relationship back to your relationship with the mother of your children or the father of your children there's no me time there's no me time left let alone together time according to a study reported in the daily mail the average mum has just hold your breath the average mum manages only 17 minutes that's one seven minutes to herself a day that's three cigarettes and two coffees that's right not even a full half hour why because today's moms work raise the children and do the lion's share of the housework there's no time left for themselves i mentioned kids education college if you want your kids to succeed in life and who doesn't you will likely want them to go to a good school and then off to college can you afford this in the united states the average cost of a private school is $12,218 per year the average total cost of public college per year is $25,290 in state and $40,940 out of state and that's per year the average total cost of private college per year in the united states is $50,900 per year so you say okay but my kid will study and then we'll move out and have a life of his or her own you know family children not true while over one third of children or people under the age of 35 live with their parents with a high cost of living an increasing number of young people are opting to live with their parents well into the 20s and the 30s that's a global phenomenon from Italy to the united states and then they take your car and they rack it that's one of the most common phenomena with with children young newly licensed drivers are at a much higher risk of having a crash than older more experienced driver forget a fancy car opt for a beater until the kids have moved out if they ever move out that is and if they don't move out they're gonna ruin your car racket time and again not to mention your clothes kids tend to have sticky fingers like some bankers and financiers kids that these fingers are covered in chocolate and accidental substances this vomiting snotty noses kids are filthy they're dirty and they share their fields generously with every with the ones they love most sharing is caring dirt sharing is dirt caring there's a reason why so many parents opt for sweatpants and if i didn't dissuade you by now to not have children my services are available i can give you counseling i can talk to a colleague colleague to give you medication something is seriously wrong with you you're not well possibly because you already have children see you later baby seals