 it's me here. You're bliss to juice all over at Cheeks disgusting. We live, man, Yeah, I think so, Episode number 30 one of the muddy or quickly actual podcasts and we're here at the Great Oak. Yeah, we've named it. So deal with that. Why do we call it the Great Oak? Because it's trees and it sounds because you could shorn it to the oak. I originally wanted the brownery. No, it's not About me you guys are why don't we um, why don't we throw it out to the filet cluelure? We're trying to think of a name for the house What have you done a poo? Yes show me? So yeah easy it is for you to get up and walk around now Matt with your with your new milking stool The fuck you going where you fly like huh? Oh We're trying to think of a name for our house this house Can you guys please leave your suggestions in the comments below? We thought of The oak but the more I say it the more I realize how shit that is I've decided I hate it the brownery was one We all agree the brownery is too hard about something was it something about feathers or something? There's a few good ones in there there was you said Sun Corp stadium Sun Corp was an option. What's fish? Oh, yeah What's and what's fish was an option for the name of this house. What's a fish? Yeah, what's a fish? See that sounds oh, let's worry. Where are we watching it? We're going to what's a fish isn't animal in the water, but like where are we going? What's a fish? I just told you what a fish was, but where are we gonna know you said you said um, let's call it 730 So they like what where are we meeting 730? Yeah, but where at eight I Like yeah, we'll put it to you guys the oak is shit. We're ditching that but yeah We're here. We'll know it'll appeal to everyone and we'll all nod and go. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's the way I guess it was funny whenever everyone was stone. Yeah Speaking of stone. We had a boys night on the week just gone here We had all the because the house is pretty much set up now, and we just had some just fucking close mates around and and Some windmills and Dave and I being one of our old friends brought a big old bag of mushrooms and Yeah We ended up partaking a little bit and it was a fucking fun night while we were fucking peaking on mushrooms We walked to this nearby abandoned house and had a bit of a walk through which was exciting wasn't it? You didn't come brown. I was very tired. I was like you guys go There was a funny moment where we I realized it was like an hour because obviously I was not a mushroom But everyone else was but there was like an hour where we stood at our neighbor's fence and just talk to their One of them kicked the other in the head fucking hard He bit my knuckle. Yeah One of the horses is so friendly and the other one is such a fucking cunt. Yeah, especially you he hates Marty Yeah, I think I approach it a bit too Yeah, my frequency is too high for adrenals not giving all the right sense. Yeah, I imagine if like it's fully Just trapped in this fucking horse body that soul. Yeah, it would suck being I don't know I would suck I think it would be okay. A bird is okay. You can okay. What about a free horse one That's not in a fucking backyard. Don't be one like a Mongolian horse Do you have a family and you can 100 well? Talk horse and the other horse But did you see the horses they were just angry at each other. Yeah, but it's also much as much simpler life They don't have to worry about the world ending. There's no they just sit there and get fed and those who are trapped in the Holiday, okay, it's a fucking holiday. I'd rather be a bird over a horse. Yeah, but there you go There's another animal that it's probably peaceful being most animals Humans are born with the curse of knowing that we are going to die and that constantly plagues on your mind all animals I don't know that they're not self-aware enough to know that they're gonna die one day So they never have the fear of death in them. You fucking can't yeah So we have it the hardest technically. Yes 100% aware. Sorry, but we you know There are many benefits to being humans, but there's some terrible terrible terrible things the Queens dead Who cares? Like fuck me why are so many people so bent up because the fucking queen is dead It's all you see on on mainstream media. It's just Queen Queen Queen. Well, you can fucking cares Because As to why like of course, it's sad that someone has passed but everyone dies and there's it happens all the time she's just a person who was born into a family and It's like she doesn't even fucking earned you don't earn royalty. You just gonna say it princess Diana It was sadder when she died than the Queen fact Yeah, look, I was only a little girl then and not saying that the fucking Queen's like, you know that we hate her It's like it's just like she's old. She's dead She lived a very long good life like 96 is a fucking very good effort. She did it. All right She had a good run. She did a fucking great job and now fucking let's move on We don't need to go on about the fucking queen. They're making a public holiday now for her. Yeah, I found out today, Brown Yeah, it's the one remember how I said I've got Thursday off. Oh, okay There you go the Queen Queen is dead and she's on all our money anyway, and she had three meals a day Anyway, that's the and we're fucking working our asses off for last couple weeks because next week We're having a week off again. Remember every ten weeks. We have one week off and that's lovely. It's life-saving I cannot wait for that. That's that's that. Hey, when does that's a killer next week? Yeah, yeah, the after tomorrow after Friday. We're fucking on web. Oh, that's good I get the day off on you exactly so to spend at least one day with you So Nick we're gonna film the next podcast on the Queen's death holiday day In her on should we reveal that or we'll lucky watch it Catch on to us. No, it's all right. We'll we'll think of some way No, wait, let's just say we're not filming it there for lucky. Yeah. Yeah, but lucky lucky if you're watching We're filming it on Wednesday morning. All right, that's when we're filming it. Yeah So, yeah, basically, I reckon it's time. What else has happened? Yeah, we had a party day. We fucking Yeah, that's what they've been a week or still a bit sick Yeah, no, I sent this to you, but I felt this would I should reveal this with the to the people so I'm Remember the French dentist thing I sent you off for fuck's sake But it's a good that happened over the way a French dentist was jailed for deliberately pulling the patient's teeth out for no reason I don't even know what you're talking about. I remember I see I see I saw that Yeah, so he was getting patients in he's saying you need your teeth out and he was ripping them out Oh, like when you take a car into the mechanic and they say all these things are all broken So he must get off over pulling out. Oh, well, he just makes more money Yeah, he made yeah, he made millions because these people needed he's making these people get procedures that they didn't need Oh, that's very clever. That's actually smart. It's good business. That's great business. What else? What was the other thing? Oh, yeah, we also had a chat before we fucking started this we have decided That we are going to do the finale of this season episode number 40 is a live show Sorry, Ham. Do we want to reveal this now? Do I have a chat about it first reveal it next week? We're gonna reveal it now and stay accountable We're not gonna I'm an hour anymore. What is happening? It's locked in. We're doing it if it's shit It's on us. We've gotta fucking get organized and book that shit in the world's longest podcast And maybe we just won't talk about that Yeah, just skip that No, we need to reveal what happened. Okay. Well, we need to answer So so Guinness World Record came back to us They said that the record that we were requesting doesn't meet their requirements as a world record. There was a similar record, which was a Was it was a live stream live stream which went over 60 hours, which was quite interesting But it doesn't fit our narrative. We can't be trusted live with sleep deprivation If we if we go live for 60 hours, we'll almost certainly say something that will come back to bite us in the ass It'll cancel. So Yeah, we're not gonna have a crack at the fucking world record this year But we are gonna do the live show for episode number 40. All right, and it will be in Brisbane So just so we can get an idea of numbers when we're looking for a venue if you would like to come I think we're gonna make the admission fuck all or free. I don't know yet depending on the venue Comment in the comments. I will come. I'm from Brisbane Oh, and we'll see how many people say yes, and and that will go from there But yeah episode 40 we're gonna aim to have a live Which is like nine weeks away, so that's a big deal. Yep. No, look look we've taken it on now And that's that brown if it's look worst-case scenario. We have it here at the house You said you want to call the yeah, well, it's the oak for now because we haven't changed it You have to call it something 730 Anyway guys, I don't know if you know this but we are actually running a comment competition. All right We're picking on the season finale We're gonna pick one comment at random from the entire season Season number four and that comment will win $1,000. So the more times you comment You are literally multiplying your chances of winning every single time you comment You're doubling your chances every time there used to be a board until there's a mathematical Certainty that you will win if you comment enough times should probably update that board Yeah, yeah, you do need to update that board. What board the comment board. Oh, yeah, the comment board. Yeah We'll get to that later But yeah, so comment as much as you fucking can because you want money and we want to give it to you So we're gonna pick a comment at random. Could be yours. Sorry. Doesn't even have to be a good comment. Sorry Yeah, just say sorry All right, we're gonna do the sponsors Now we've there's been a few requests with the sponsors that Michael has a go at doing the sponsors So Michael will be leading today's sponsor talks everybody And we have Nord Nord is back Nord VPN for for this episode. So Which one would you like to do a man scape or not? Why don't we do man scape first and then I can show I can show him what Nord wants to say okay So put it this way You can be a boy or a girl or both But you might smell bad. You might look bad Get man scaped you can shave your beard you can shave your pubes You can use their shampoo to make your hair smell better. You've got cologne There's ball wipes, but those ball wipes can be used as breast wipes So it's very equal. It's always equal rights with man scaped even though the name is says man It's not very equal there is it? Yeah, that's okay. Okay. We'll ignore that But all you've got to use is our fully actual 20 code for 20% discount Holy shit, that's one in five dollars off. Yeah, it's pretty much free one in five dollars scratched off You use that you get free products from man scape from us. Well, not free technically. Yeah, okay? Let's say that let's say that Man scape.com use our discount code fully actual 20 for free products 20% free same thing free products 20% off free 20% women's get man scaped for women All right, that's not too fucking bad. And of course We um where our other sponsor for this episode is and the great Nord VPN Michael and um People Sell it Michael. You just sell it Fucking yeah, we fucking go. This is why we fucking hate doing them Okay Ignore that. Yeah. Yeah ignore that. We hate doing them No, if you're listening nor this now nor if you're listening does now. No, but nor we love listen. We love you guys Do you have air dates for two times Okay, cut that Connor If you want something just a little bit extra on your computer what isn't what is it? Oh, yeah adds more layers of security like a blanket. Hmm like a condom for you You want to go like the blankets you had from fucking on your camping trip? Yeah, even Nord's not often it did offer some protection though So Nord is a blanket for your computer basically or even a shield where it could protect you when you go Searching out in the wilderness of the internet. It's full security. You need it So it's like having like a bouncer with you at all times Maybe two it's two bounces. Well, you have my attention. Yeah, so the big man comes with you as you search the internet Protects you when we got two of those now grab your exclusive Nord VPN deal by going to www.forward slash Nord VPN.com fully forward slash fully actual To get up to a huge discount link will be in the description as well Otherwise, we don't for the Nord will be in the description if you can't remember one month or so four months for free And yeah, what four months for free so four months is that's a whole year free pretty much If they use our discount code, that's crazy man. Is there surely that's must be all there must be nothing else that they can do Oh, no, they do more. Look, it's free for four months. Did I mention that? What? No, you didn't mention which is a whole year four months a whole year Year nearly of Nord. Yeah And it's completely risk-free Nord's 30-day money and how's the risk? I don't know if you've ever heard this before money Guarantee guarantee if you know what that word means guarantee that means it's guarantee certain teas That means it's like a tea. It's definitely definitely gonna happen. It was actually Garin in the tea Yeah, so like it's tea made of Garin. They send out tea That's Garin flavored. Oh, is that one of my neighbors have you don't like it after 30 days They'll send you tea that's Garin flavored guarantees and and it's Matt had a good question He said, oh, how's it risk-free? He said that well look that's the thing you 30 days So and you get your money back if you don't I send a bunch of tea You get it's what he's saying is you get your money back if you don't like it and it's you so it's if you don't like it They give you more back. I give you tea as well as your money back I think the tea's more of a metaphor of the money. Oh, so it's not tea Well, you can use the same thing. It's like the four months twelve month year. It's all the same shit women men It's all the same with everything's the same now Matt Okay, so shop at Nord VPN use our fully actual code to get huge discounts and a gift four months But yeah, they send gifts. No, look if you use our discount code I heard about this. Do you know what the gift is? They send you a gift. No, it's a mystery gift Yeah, it could be worth up to ten grand. I don't know. I'm just I'm just making stuff up now But if it's a gift, you don't know it's a second-hand that's the beauty of a gift Yeah, I know whatever they're giving you someone could pay ten grand for it. So really So shop are there and that's how that is there And of course the University of Michael a subscription website where we post weekly videos that are far too fucked for social media And this website funds our entire lives All right, we put our best work into the website because social media is no longer No longer happy to have us because where to foul tiktok is banned as for life Yeah, we have a we have a permanent live stream ban on tiktok because we showed our butt Once so now that's When did that happen? But now all our avenues in social media are slowly slowly dying. So that's why we have the website It's just we're gonna make different content for social came. It's so it's the content that we don't like making as much Yeah, well, I mean like they take things away from us in social media in our website We would never be banned from going live. It's our website. They can't do that. Is that what it is? Yeah, do you actually go live on the website? We will do yeah We do in our Facebook group anyway It's also risk-free because it's a 21-day free trial Sign up in the links in the description And if you don't like it you can leave free of charge, but I guarantee you watch 10 of those videos you'll be a changed man You what's the one that's just flala clala? Yeah, the one that's come out right now would be oh the one we watched today How to make the world smell better is good Michael and I've we pretty much get like a hundred deodorant cans And we make a bomb like 10 butane bottles We got like a thousand dollars worth of sparkly dust and crushed all my god It was so fucking good. It was a great video and it was and that's our right now and there is yeah like this We tried to make our shit would we be allowed? Oh, yeah, and Michael's constant just playing with shit the whole time Oh, which would make it we would never be allowed to post that to social media of my house rubbing shit all over his face Cow shit. It's sort of magic. We're not gonna explain it to you Matt because you should watch it You should watch it and or Also this week we filmed our house tour of the oak, which will yeah, like probably yeah, and like what four weeks? Well, um, yeah, there was some real estate agent gentlemen that were here. Yeah, did the house tour So yeah, we didn't let you know but real estate was through here some agents. They went through your room. It seemed very professional Sorry Anyway, and that's fucking sponsors Sorry All right moving right along should we have a cheeky bong break and then get into on this day in the black book returns and Michael's Bible and Marty's diary Yes, should I get high? Yeah, okay, you're right That's taking a like into that words What was the one that you were doing the other day? I think get accents are so weird Why can't you just say it exactly how I say it douche vinyl hunt douche fine a hunt? Well, you gotta practice it. Yeah, you guys have accents like why just lose the accent just say it how I'm saying it We didn't grow up in Yeah, why does that matter? You know what that you know what I mean? Why does that matter? You should just Yeah, I did it. That was fully German. Can you do it again? Let's want to try Weiner hunt Shweiner who's saying shweiner who shweiner hunt Anyway, on this show by no hunt. Yeah, it's fucking weird. Sorry. Sorry on this day On this day in a world far far away for children did play The children laughed saying played and ran but when I tried to join in they said no, you're a man Depression poured out into my heart. I needed to cheer myself up. So I let out a little fart The children all chuckled and giggled a bit. So I farted again except this time it was shit The children turned and started to scream and as I held out my shit. We all watched it steam. I Watched them run away and I'd had enough so I ripped off my shirt to show them I was tough I slung my shitty hand as fast as I could and sent my shit flying through the neighborhood It slapped on the kids and I laughed as they slipped maybe next time they'll include me and I won't let one rip I may look like a creature, but I am Matt Brown and if you're ever mean to me I will take you down and I stand up Stand up against animal abuse Stand with me boys because this subject means a lot to me. Let's end animal abuse today Holy dude, you're like a poet. Wow, Matt. I didn't know you could do that. You wrote a song Basically, so you wanted to like you would want to play with some kids But they wouldn't like mean to you and didn't want to include you in their games is out Some childhood That was that's a beautiful. They thought he was a man, but he was a Where does that come from? I'm sorry everyone. I've got Marty's diary on the other phone and I can't see it because I can't we're filming with it So it's ruined. It's ruined. I've ruined Marty's diary and that's my mistake everybody. I need water Michael yeah, yeah, here you go Michael it's it's turned for your bio. It's turned for your Bible Michael's Bible is a book that he has written He spilled all his wisdom down on some pages one day and he's got a Bible and while he's reading it He's not Michael. He's not Jesus. He's Beezus these are all movies that are all shit I Can already name them Gone in 60 seconds. Oh You're fucking reading from my list three musketeers. The three musketeers is a classic bad boys one and two If nobody likes bad boys one eat a dick the mummy Brendan Fraser at his best pirates of the Caribbean first one is good Transformers that wasn't mine. I got in there somehow though back to the future at a classic Fimy dodge ball good film dodger ranch cunt Sorry But yes, you picked it. Oh, actually, I mean to say no dude, I didn't know they were part of your collection Well, you didn't even like Matt has a list of he has like a billion dvd One tower with some DVDs most of them are very nice. There are some it's very awesome That are mine. They've just gotten in there when I worked at the video shop Stack of DVDs like they used to in the 90s next to your TVs out there and there are some questionable movies in there And name one Shrek's okay Shrek's good Shrek is good Like you should not have fucking like There's one you read out. I was like what really dodgeball is shit. I watched the other night Transformers not mine. I absolutely swear a mother that transformers is not my three musketeers like hang on three musketeers is great It's got Keitha Sutherland and Charlie Sheen in the peaks of their careers. It's fucking good Dartanian one of your favorite names is in it gone in 60 seconds is that's debatable. Yeah, like you shouldn't and Back to the future overrated. I'm saying it anyway. I think some of them are but the first one's classic. All right Well, yeah, eat a dick. Sorry. That's um, we're gonna talk later. I did have sorry at the end of it Sorry, I did sorry. I didn't listen. I was just enraged anyway. Oh, wow, okay So it's time for you miss so many other films that are in there that could have been mentioned Yeah, but I just love talking about no, I didn't know that that was your list. Sorry, dude I thought that was as this movies. I actually think of really shit All right guys, it's time for the most Devastating destructive segment out of all podcasts in the entire world It's time for Matt Brown's Black book we where he has detailed every single sexual experience that he's ever had in graphic detail, okay? Let me tell you there is a colorful storyline going on at the moment and it is fucked So this is continued on from right so recap. So Matt kills Hitler in hell and Julian is Satan and Julian and Matt have sex So so so all of Matt's Satan powers gone to Julian Julian is now Satan and Julian has agreed to send Matt back to earth. That's where we're at Okay, does that make sense everyone now? Where is your diary wherever you put it? I see it and There was the Pinocchio accident Did you watch Pinocchio the new one Yeah, there's a new Pinocchio movie out and it's like not the same watching it because we know what actually happened to him because It's in the black book. I haven't watched it yet Anyway, and a baby whale got fucked. Okay, so that's where we're at. Okay Here we go. You should try whale sometime. Here we go Number 66 I Feel Julian's thick lower lip pop out of my mouth I Come back for more and feverishly consume his tongue and let his saliva cascade down the back of my throat We pull away and see that quite a large crowd had formed and was watching us make love for the last hour Julian nodded and I knew it was time. We detangled our bodies and Julian took my hands in his This isn't goodbye Maddie It's I'll see you later There won't be a day that goes by that. I don't think about you my sweet Julian as As promised, I'm gonna send you back to earth now That means you will be revived at the exact place you died at the exact same time. I died as well No, one day in hell is like five minutes on earth So since you got to her lock four days ago about 20 or 30 minutes have passed on earth So on earth right now. It's only 20 minutes since I've died. Yeah, that's exactly right come now get ready Here we go. I grouped Julian's hands and felt his power coursing through my body. I'm scared Julian all this hurt I would never let anything hurt you Maddie Just relax. I immediately feel relaxed and we share one final kiss as I feel myself Projecting upwards. I love you Maddie. I love you Julian I burst through the ceiling and it feels as if I'm falling up Everything is a blur and I'm traveling at light speed I shoot through different dimensions and all the colors of the universe swirl around me then with an almighty thud My spirit explodes back into my deceased human body on earth. I'm back to life I take my first breath there and open my eyes. I'm still lying on the floor in a pool of blood I felt my head with a baseball bat wounds previously were and they all completely healed I was alive and fully healthy. I heard footsteps approach behind me and decided to play dead I wanted the element of surprise to help me defeat choir. I felt choir grab my ankles as I continued to play dead She started dragging my limb body towards the garage giggling My heart began beating harder. It was nearly time to attack She stops at the garage door and drops my legs She turns to open the door and I quickly and silently stand Choir opens the garage door still with her back facing me I make a fist with my hand except my thumb sticking up erect and firm Then I sling my left arm at her the full length of my thumb stabs straight into her neck And with my other hand I start punching in the back of her skull Her arms claw back at me and she struggles to pull my thumb out of her neck Suddenly she kicks back like a donkey and her heel drives into my testicles The kick is so powerful dislodges my thumb from her neck and I stumble back I feel my nut rupture and blood begins to fill my creamy sack She turns with blood squirting from her neck wound. How is this possible? You're dead Matt. She gasps the confused old hag I cradled my balls and tried to ignore the blinding pain. I fucked Satan and now I'm in love with him you bitch I launch myself feet first at her knees. She screams at her knees snap backwards She falls to the floor in a crumpled heap Matthew, son, son, please don't whack. I toe-punt her snap and her head snaps back She's knocked out cold. You don't have to do this Matt I turn and see questin standing in the hallway holding his injured head He had a bandage wrapped around his head and he was leaning against the wall He was incredibly weak from my previous attack Good questin I'm glad you're here to see this I'm going to brutally fuck our mother and fill her insides with my silk Once I've ripped up her clunge, then I'm finally going to have you again while our mother's juices still freshly coat my cock Questin looks defeated and I see him start to cry Pathetic I look down a choir. She's regained consciousness and she's clutching at her fucked knees Just try and enjoy this mum She looks up at me through teary eyes and spreads her mangled legs for me I get down on my knees and look back to make sure questin is watching He is I grab quiet fucked looking head and we start kissing her nose sits directly in between her eyes and her mouth That takes up 80% of her face despite her grotesque appearance. It felt nice to kiss a female again It had been a while. I feel her body as she wraps her arms around me I grope as I slowly slide my hands all over her my hand finds her breast and our kissing intensifies I grab both of her tits and with both of my hands and I squeeze them so hard that they got purple I peek at questin to make sure he's still watching He is my little brown has made its way out of my pants and has flattened itself like a threatened toad Ready for battle choir rips her pants where her gash is it's strange that I came from that hole And now we're coming in that hole quite is eager for me to enter her and I can tell she's enjoying this I stare deeply into my own mother's eyes as my fuck wand Slides inside her as soon as I'm in we erupt into passion a mouth start kissing and tonguing at each other and my Groping intensifies. I stretch both of her tits into my mouth and suck on them like I did when I was an infant I drill harder and faster at her slit her snap knees clatter and flop about behind me As she holds up her split legs I stare at questin and I feel my eyes bulging out of my head my elbows My eyeballs kept stretching out of my head until I looked like a fucking snail They stretched down the hallway and stared at questin as I thumped away at our ecstatic mother My eyes kept stretching out of my skull until they were centimeters away from questin's face then My eyes retract back into my skull as I start climaxing with my mother Quiet arches her back with pleasure and I keep pounding away as I drain my blood filled ball bag into her core my My mints and blood combine to make a fucked chutney much My my chutney fills my mother and she squeals in ecstasy. I cock my head back and I let out a primal roar We finish and I look at her now quivering questin I unplug my little brown and my fucked chutney flows freely from my mother's cunt. I stand up and walk over to questin What do you think about that mate? He says nothing and stares off vacantly Look, I'm gonna leave you for now. I want you to be recover so that this is a fair fight But I will be back and I will have you so that there is no question that I Matt Brown and my family's number one Hover I look back at choir. She looks like a mangled mess, but her face is relaxed and satisfied I've done my job Say as I take a shit on quess into bed, then I leave it felt good to be back on earth Now time to go find more haves Oh my god, so you let him repair himself. It wasn't gonna be the proper way if he wasn't a hundred percent Very noble of you, man. Oh dude when your eyes Stretched out a distance to centimeters away from They retracted back It's now like a snail You look like a snail as you fuck your mother. That's when you climaxed. Oh my god. Quiet must Quiet Well, yeah, what's the first time he's ever had his mum unbelievable Thank you gobbies. Let's give each other gobbies I After these podcast I reckon we should just like suck each other off How fucking weird would that be? Sucking each other at the same time We're going in the land room Yeah, like a circle suck Imagine if this is the first Anyway, it's time for Matt bachelor brown bachelor brown brown brown Bachelor brown is behind you turn around quickly. There's not much time. He's strong and fast It's Matt Brown bachelor brown. Oh, and which is a segment where Michael and I have taken it upon ourselves to find Matt A partner a mate someone he can share life with because quite frankly Matt sucks at finding girls He's single and alone and scared in this cold massive house And he has no one to share life's many treasures with and he's sick of it But he needs our help so Michael and I've gone out fishing Fishing for Matt Brown future wife, and we found ourselves a little fish We've got five fish at the moment Yeah, Matt's favorite fish on the board the top five. Oh, yeah, how'd you did you talk to that other girl from last week? She yeah, nothing communicated. Did you add her? I tried but Nothing, so it's no it was no snapchat action. No, nothing. Why does that keep happening? It's very frustrating. Maybe maybe she died Maybe okay, so last week's was I spelled it was a failure Okay, so last week's she seemed came though. Yeah fucking I it's got to do it as soon as the podcast is over. I did it that night. Yeah, send like 10 messages. Yeah Well, look, I'll just give I'll just give her your number. No. Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to I don't want that at all Anyway, so the new bachelorette for this for the tonight's date is her name is Ali Okay, and her twitch name Here is extra Na Cly extra not clay Extra not clay sounds like something which I which is gaming which Matt loves. She's a twitcher. Wait, so so That sounds like something we would say extra not clay. I know it's beautiful ask her anyway. Look at her twitch You got to hear a voice. This is a conversation with her first my brand and see if there's a nation God man, you're jumping ahead of yourself. We go straight to looks and that's why I don't know that's why we've come in You need our help. Anyway, that's your LeBron. Yeah, we're brown time for your date. Don't get nervous Don't fuck this up. You know the drill. Don't fuck nervous Matt. Yeah. Well now. She said she's a twitch person Well well well do I have here Ali Ali finally getting a chance to talk to mr. Matt Brown Ali this is your chance. You're on the muddy Michael fully actual podcast Which is I think the biggest podcast in the world and sitting right next to me He's so nervous. He's been he's been clapping his hands together like that really fast and making excited sounds like Like that because he is so excited to talk to you and he cannot wait to show you What he's all about he's got nits. He thinks take it away Matt and be remember what we spoke about you got this Say something fucking say something Matt. Hello, Ali Hi Matt. Oh That's pretty good. That's a flotation Tell me about yourself My name's Ali I'm 29 and I currently work as a robotics engineer How about how about you tell me about yourself? Yours is gonna sound way shitter compared to that, but yeah, mine's horrible Who's about me is terrible That gets dressed and that's 40 he gets dressed up with his mates I'm 35. He fucking puts wigs on with his mates and we play fucking silly buggies and toss each other off after the fucking podcast Ali, why don't you tell us a little bit? So you're a twitcher. Is that right? What are you doing twitch? Oh Yeah, that's what I like to do at my spare time. I like to play games on mine like talk with people You know, I'd like to talk with Matt Brown, but he wants to talk to me that Where are you from? Dude dude wait, he's gonna say something profound now Have we ever met before I Wish oh my gosh I'm so on edge that I'm getting fucked around and I like Ask what she likes to do. What do you like to do? Wait, you're wait Ali your pot your twitch name. What is it? It's Extra neclery Yeah, extra knackley, but oh extra with a capital and and they see to make it like Macl is fault. Oh She's using her brain. All right. Oh, sorry. It seems to rubbed out. Just needed pretty good at giving brain Go Matt say something flirt with her a bit say something Tell her tell her that you have huge biceps Tends for her tense for her, but don't Ali what made you come on here. Do you watch the podcast? So you've been watching Matt for a while Ali Yeah, and I've been seeing you talk to other girls and I'm not really happy about that Yeah, Ali. Have you seen what have you see what happens? Sometimes we get bachelor? Bachelorette's on and then they they're like, oh lovely to talk to you Matt And then they they don't follow up and communicate after the podcast is over are you Do we have your word that you will at least speak to Matt Brown after this podcast and see if there's a spark there? Yeah, of course Yes, and how would you like to communicate with him via Instagram? I can I can give out his phone number to you. I Already have it in the ground. Oh, so you already follow him or I will maybe just message him on Instagram Have we spoken on Instagram before? No, okay. Not yet. What games you play on Twitch? I like to play FPS games. What's the first-person shooter like shooter game? Yeah, first-person shooter Battlefield loves that Matt loves fortnight, and he's very good at it. Are you a cat or a dog person? Both both I reckon you're falling for I feel like there's some sexual chemistry Shooting up your back and affecting the pace of your skull Ali what's your ideal first date this besides? Probably like a like a Sunday walk, but like kind of around like Brunch time and then the walk like ends that kind of midday, and then we can have some like craft beers I'm really into craft beers So weird that you said that Ali because Matt loves his Sunday walks, you know Matt Brown He always goes on Sunday walks every single Sunday here. There he is rain hail or shine Sometimes he's running backwards She lives in new farm you go on Sunday market new farm new market But you pick her up from new market and go to a new farm. Do we have a plant deal this Sunday? We got a new Ali Do you have plans this Sunday? Okay, well, we'll let you guys handle it I reckon if you could say you're in love Matt if you go to dinner anywhere in Brisbane with Matt Brown Where would you go with him? Oh? I don't I'm not a big restaurant connoisseur. I don't really know Neither is Well, or you guys can just chill here and Michael and I will happily get some door-dash food for you guys We're actually going to start out to switch up again one day to Ali What are you going to play on yours? Probably worms armageddon. Oh, I'll probably play fortnight And Matt loves his fortnight. He's very very good. Yeah, Matt. What's your favorite material for tonight? My favorite material Yeah, what building material? Oh He's yeah, that's quite rude by Matt. I'm just pointing it out For someone you're falling in love with you shouldn't say that. Oh gotta be wood Oh Being flow pretty hard Yeah It would be concrete, but there's not really concrete. It's more rock and it's not wholesome concrete. That's why it's exactly It's Hanson. Hanson can get fucked with that dumb shit Hanson concrete's just a bag of shit. I won't lie. Um Ali. I actually Thought you might be somebody I know you love her. You love it. I mean I wish I was someone you knew What's your instagram so matt can um, but yeah, she's she'd have your sterile your pictures for hours and hours fucking What's your instant? Do you know Ali? Do you know I used to live in winsor? Oh Oh, really? Matt's getting deep now for two years. I was getting personal and how did you feel? I don't ask you whereabouts. I don't want to put that on the podcast. I don't want to I lived at 50 Yeah, you can sign down. I don't live here anymore. Yeah, tell everyone Yeah, no, that's okay Um, all right Ali. Well, thank you very much for your time. What's your instagram? Do you mind us saying it on the podcast? It's the same at all. It's kind of embarrassing. I gotta delete the old pictures, but you don't have to read We can bleep it if you want your instagram. I mean, no, it's okay. It's the same as it's my twitch Okay, it's the extra Extra knackley. All right. All right. So matt expected dm from extra knackley and you will reply tonight. Yes matt I will follow you if you already follow me. Do you want a virtual kiss with her? All right, so it seems like the date went quite well So do that. Do that. Ali matt loves to do this thing Where he really gets a vibe from someone when you do like a virtual kiss just a peck nothing with tongue matt So on the count of three, can you just Do you consent with it? You consent with So you consent to in three seconds time a peck on the lips. Here we go three two one peck Oh my god Okay, I reckon it's you're definitely Are you gonna have to up your game here matt? Yeah Don't okay. I won't lie. Let her put me on top. Yeah, I won't lie. Ali. You do have all right. Let's get the board Hang on. Hang on. I didn't say would you 100% she's on the top five. You know, she is Stop kidding. Show me the five who we rubbing out greg or now greg's too sweet Ethan what about Ethan? He's just one hasn't even just one a bloody thing from us. Yeah about jess. No, jess is very good Jasmine It's gonna have to be Ethan. Fuck. I'm so sorry. Ethan. We love you do you're a fucking sub We you've been number one supporter for a long time. We love you. How's he getting his gift? I don't know. I guess they'll find out his address and we'll send it to him Is it ellie? He lives in brizzy. I'll just go drop it to him. Yeah, all that. Anyway, ali Thank you so much for your time. Ali. Ali. How do how do we spell your name? Is it a or is it e? Yeah, ali like a so a l l i e Okay done That's very excited. I can see him licking his lips like a chessy kitten I'm gonna be very sad if I'm not on top. I'm just saying that Well, I might take like an hour to reply to you if I'm not on top Well, you're at top five now and Matt's very rare that Matt kicks someone off. So this is especially this is big This is big news ali. We're excited to see how it goes. Thank you for your time. We'll chat to you soon See you say bye Bye It's good, dude, where did you find the one we found the one find her I have my ways I am a willy wonka Maybe I'm on I'm distressed. No. No. Yeah. No. He's he doesn't think it's a real personal No, I think it's a real person, but I think it's somebody I know a promise I promise. There's nothing behind this He's Matt's worried that they're pranking him and there's a stitch up or something He's very untrusting of us and that's fair enough We have hurt you I hope ali's real Well, dude, you've like gaming you love gaming sunday walks. You love sunday walks She's Oh, shit, you know what to do Light a locky. Yeah, no put your phone on private Anyway, that was bachelor brand now we move on to fly Which is where we lie to locky we lie to him every week we get him every fucking week He's on to us though and it's a thursday night. It's prime podcast type So i've got jackson lined up jackson's just come out of surgery And like he's he's it's very hard for him to do things on his own so he needs someone there So it's perfect. We're just going to slip in a nice easy lie jackson's just going to say oh My stitches have come undone. You need to take me to the hospital in the morning or something And there's some soon as like he goes. Yeah, okay, that's sweet. Then we jump in and flilly clay the layer We should have gone more dark like my my other backs, bro No, I feel like he's on if it's slightly shocking. Yeah, sure. I agree with that All right, so for lying to locky Like I said, we got jackson teed up He can't call right now, but he's going to call me as soon as he can and then we'll get that Underway all right, so we're going to move right on to fucking Comment of the fucking week move can't fucking move This is where matt picks out his favorite comment from last week's episode And we put it on a board the comment of the week board And if you make the board you are in the running to win another thousand dollars At the end of the season cannot stress that enough another thousand dollars separate to the other thousand dollars Thousands so the more you comment, I don't need to keep saying it just fucking write some comments What do we got this week brown town comment of the week went to bobby jim? bobby jim sorry, sorry And bobby jim said the sexual tension between matt brown and the milking stool leg was unbearable apart from that good episode How is that shit going? Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting that you're sitting on a milking stool Which is one leg I feel like I've got to hold myself up a lot and that's making me my body work And I feel like I'm sweating because of that But like don't you think it's like good for exercise sort of yeah, it's good But it's also it's hard for matt to sit now. It's yeah, it's but it's not good to for sitting up straight I've got a sitting down is now a workout. Yeah And that's great from us. That's great work everyone. I'll keep it though Okay, I'll put it out in the living room. Throw it through one of the windows Oh Wait, if we're doing questions, we got to have a bong break That is so fair. We just did uh comment on the week. So let's go have a bong break. Hopefully jackson doesn't call during our bong break Oh, they call it blast week. Here he is Look at it. Oh my god. What the what are the chances can't we're about to have f**k mom. All right. Here we go Jackson Oh, there you are. You scared us my flung No, I've got I've got a setting on my phone a blocked private number so they can't call me. I didn't think you Oh, that's so smart. Hey, do I have to call you for this to work or can you still merge a call even though you were the one who called me? Are you on the podcast right now? Yeah, yeah, you're on the podcast right right now, by the way It's good to hear your voice. Jackson. Why don't you Well, Jackson's just had like there's two discs removed everyone by the way Did you know what story steel rods in in their plates titanium Stools Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do this and I reckon just say What and um, I reckon just say to him Oh, can you can you drive me to the doctors tomorrow? They need to have a look at my stitches or something real simple Yeah, no worries. I'll give them a call now. Let me try and merge it. Yes, please dude. Yes, please You're the best, Jackson. Thank you, Jackson Shut up coming up. Sorry F**k F**k, he's on answer. I wonder what he's doing right now Well, I do we'll chat to you soon. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that Sorry, I'm sorry too. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'll put my hand up. It was me. I'll stand up. Yes, sir. Sorry, but sorry F**k I'm so sorry. Sorry, man. I apologize Sorry, sorry I'm sorry. No, I'm so sorry. Sorry about that dude. What the hell? Why? I'm sorry So out of character. So out of character from me. I'm so sorry. This isn't us I'm so sorry. Anyway, I think I'm having anxiety attacks Yeah, sorry. See it. That was a really good one Anyway Anyway, it's time for a We'll be right back with Q&A and the lying-to-loggy sing Pom-pom-pint Pom-pom-pint, man Oh, he's calling You ready? He's calling Matt, he's calling. He's calling. Hang on He's not. We're back. Lie-to. You can't suck s**t. All right onto the f**king questions dog s**t. Let's f**k Oh, that is good. That's a new thing. We should start up What? Where you just do the first two letters of the word So instead of the it's like It's It's too hard. Yeah, sorry. It's too hard. No, sorry about that We're still gonna do the screaming segment. I realized I think there is something there Sorry about that something we can work on Remember someone dm'd us and said He called his number. Is it like a massage place? We should call them and scream Well that relates to the top question. We should do another screaming segment. Yeah, we will after this segment another screaming Okay, here we go question time. F**k. I'm social ally top question went to zack jenet jenet depending where he's from um Question of the podcast will you ever bring back fan prank calls? They're some of my favorites from season two Maybe just a few here and there if they're good. We talked about that. We're trying one today. Yeah, we're gonna try one but The reason fan Prank calls are hard is because I have to call off a private number because obviously I don't want use people having my number and People don't answer calls from private numbers. So we're left f**king like calling No one picks up calling no one picks up and then we go through like 10 different fan prank calls And we've just been calling people and no one picks up. So that's why we move to only calling businesses Because they're always open and they will f**king answer the phone But yes, this week we will try a fan experiment But uh fan prank call, but don't get your f**king hopes. I'm out you f**king blonde looking dog s**t. Sorry Sorry Next question is from a Fondue I'm so sorry. I've really f**ked that name up Um, when was the last time Michael had short hair and can he show a photo? Oh, it's on like instagram. I'd say it wasn't the last time he had long hair though I reckon I had short hair back in like your early 20s like numb 22 So what's that like 15 years ago now? No. Oh wait 10 years ago So there you go 10 years ago. I had short hair when I met you It was like this If you've never ever grown your hair out try it once Oh, unless you can't your hair looks just like mine grow long because that's what happened to me Right, I would love it if you just grew your hair out for like honestly, I would look so f**ked I took a photo of a Marty. He's so f**ked. I would love it I took a photo of Marty In from your mother's apartment. There was a photo of Marty young Marty and your hair was long, but it was like short Yeah, and it doesn't grow past there. It looks straight doesn't grow Could we how much would it cost a month to let you just keep growing your hair? I see mines Yeah, but how much would you how much how much everyone's got a price? Oh, it's pretty embarrassing then again if bachelor brown just wear hats and s**t How long I'd have to do it for as long as you want you keep getting paid each month. I get a paycheck. Yeah $5,000. Oh, you like that is so f**ked. Oh, you'd smoke meth five times over before growing I reckon a hundred bucks a month I'll drop it down to four thousand. I'd go a grand Oh, dude, I'd go a grand a month to see him grow his hair Oh by next year like it'd be real rough Yeah, could we a grand a month you get extra it's you want to get laid though and that Beautiful we're hats and s**t man I'd love for you to be at the podcast with this I'll look like question I'll look exactly like question the other other you have to be on the podcast with no hats or wigs on We'll give you a grand a month if you do that. Oh, can I think about it for a week? Yeah We'll make sure Yeah, remind me discuss this next week bring that make sure you bring that back up Please take this opportunity to like comment and subscribe to this channel if you haven't subscribed a third of you haven't subscribed Please subscribe. I see you analytics Just press press the red button. Yes And a five star review on Spotify. Please. Please. Sorry man. Go on next question is from Steven haunt Does Matt Brown have a hinge account? If so, what does these matches think of him? And what is your opening line? I don't have a hinge account The most I've gone is tinder because I just hate online dating. Oh come on. It's fun. It has its uses. Can't I haven't I haven't there's hinge. There's so many you haven't been single since f***** for f***** ages So I downloaded hinge because it was Advised that I do and it was just so much you the sun is too much What do you mean? There's got to have an opening line. You have to have to buy you have to leave a voice message It's just too much. What do we say before like Cement line that would be perfect for some f***** hard controlling. Yeah, I'm happy to do that Your opening line is just screaming Oh my god, I've just thought of a f*****g segment Next season or this season will do like chats with brown And like we'll literally have like all the conversations that you've had with girls We'll have to work it out and I'll do some as well And Marty's will help. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's got potential for next season. Matt Brown and online dating apps Yeah, Matt Brown is Brown dates. It depends. Oh It depends. I'll just call it brown dates. I'll have to check in with either You know The cops Dates like the fruit Yeah, I could be dating Ali so I could be I could be in love with Ali and You're excited about Ali. That's for sure. And who knows or either or um or Jess from the UK Greg, I don't have a look at I But no Now Don't don't go on with your questions. No, because then people are just gonna watch you so Anyway, sorry the the dating app thing. Yeah, not I don't know. I don't enjoy it. I'm really bad at replying Um, yeah, it's not a fun day So Sorry I found a Matt you're gonna be so happy. Can you just not? That is so up your alley show him a picture. I mean, it's not my alley Show Matt a picture The girl with Matt just had a phone date with what's her name Ali? Ali. No, there she go We do this later No, we've found you this is the one you can look from a distance. Look watch his get his face there Get his face there look Oh, look at that last his pupils are so dilated. Oh, yeah, look he's touching the screen Drink that in Matt Slurp make the slurp sound drool drool over your bottom lips um next question is from decoder um Decoder always comes up with good questions and always comments. Thank you decoder so Can we can oh, sorry, can we confirm that all the bachelor browns are still alive and will matt Has not had any of them out of pure rage. Oh, yeah, that's actually a good point. Maybe that's why the segment's not going so well Have you been Murdering and hunting these women. I don't think so unless I black out All right, so I don't think so But yeah, it's great. Yeah, the brown is back to like he's something to keep in mind He's on the brown and narrow. Well, you know He's a reformed brown, but the brown and narrow. He has that evil within him. It could erupt at any moment Next question is from doughnut films like a brown volcano like a brown volcano spewing brown lava Um, do you guys watch scary movies? Yeah, I love scary horror movies. Donut films want to know What's your favorite scary movie horror movie the latest one the one that I've watched? It's the creepiest in a long time really Midsummer it's not that scary though. It's just a real creepy. Yeah, I like that. That fucks me more than that That fucks me more too. They just jump see you can say jump scares are scary, but they're not No, I like like true The best ones are like true story based on true events like the amen evil horror or what's that one? Um invisible man No, the the weather the psychic bitch. There's heaps of them drag me to hell was pretty fucked up What about the couple that's that goes and gets goes to the psychic woman and I'm like no the fucking there's like three of them Oh the the jane and jingle um the um John wick um Fear and loathing. Yeah, you're getting close. Uh, don't scream at night the simsons movie. Um Jane and ed warren. Yeah. Yeah I know what it is. I'm looking to say it's the amen of your horror. It's not it But they are involved with that They are involved with that Conjuring. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Conjuring the conjuring series is good. Yeah Next question is from Ben Hickenlopper Oh, it can be parked. It's also a german word means love Um, I don't know if you don't if you guys even know what are your golf handicaps if golf any good in australia I'm not I'm not on that level yet. I'm talking about definitely not on that level. Yeah, I'm I can be unpredictable I'm not that good, but what even is a handicap? I never got that Yeah, can you explain that if you get even par out of all the holes What do you mean that if you change is all the time? I don't know what that is So like I think even par is like and man, I also get this wrong, but it's like say All your par's add up to like 70 on a golf. Oh, right, right, right, right And then if you go over that 70 then like if you're 71 your handicap is one. Yeah And then I reckon I would be if I was to play 18 holes at a normal golf course are going to be like Nine over that's so your handicap is about nine. I'm going to say that I'm probably like double that I reckon I'd be yeah, I'd probably be like a 20. Just count the hole. I reckon I'd be 10. I'll say I'm 10. Okay I'll be 20. You reckon we just I think there's a process to deciding. No, no, no. This is it now. This is it I reckon you are a fucking 50. No baby 28 30. Okay. I'll agree with that That's the handicap is 30. No I reckon Yeah, well, yeah Does that mean that gets to start six to see 30 shots ahead next time? But that's like if we do use the like I guess yeah, we do Next question is from say yama shoku I know that one. I don't think I did no Um, why does michael always keep yelling? Oh my god. Oh my fucking god every time he got hurt Why does he have to fuck god? Peer some little fan of jesus a huge fan of bezis Yeah, I don't know. It's like you always do. Yeah, I'm afraid of a curse word that you use It's probably there's better things to change it up though. You say something's wrong. Something grandma would be Yeah, not very happy using the Lord's name in vain there. Yes. So yeah, I think about something else maybe So yeah, I might change it to Gosh dana, you don't really think though in that moment when you're there's blinding pain Crossing through your body. You just there's no decision-making. You don't think oh I'm gonna say this now. Just words just come out of your mouth and you have no control What do you say when flalak lily schnilly that screams? It just makes a loud sound Oh, yeah, that was good. Oh, you say fuck No, no, that's what I'm pissed That said fuck when he thought we'd been robbed with jewelry and print Both the tv's are gone fuck You guys see the video Well, we certainly you guys like oh we've been robbed. I was ready I was ready to fucking rumble processing. Yeah, I'm still thinking about bashing julian just just for the The two minutes of pain he caused me. Well, that's you trying to get closer to him We think we know what the true story is now He loved julian and he loves you and you guys have had wild sex down in hell And your whole life has been a journey to get back with him That was perfect timing actually I wonder how much we'd have to pay to make that his real Getting that we sewn to him could we give you like a grand to sew that on How much would it take to us to surgically apply that hair to you? No, you have to be like 10 grand. Yeah, what about dude? Can we do it for 4k you can't no you're not gonna sew this to my head We'll pay for the procedure. I'm I'm dude. I'm 10 grand for one month. I'd do that All right, if you both get tits on your back No, come on. Well if you it's just hair sacrifices It would work like you flale clale. Yeah, it would work She came in on a monday morning Oh, I imagine what they'd say when I walked through the door. Oh, by the way, people how was everyone's weekend? By the way, people listening on Spotify man. He's wearing a Blonde like think of like a, you know super saiyan. Yeah from Dragon Ball Z Like that's what his hair looks like. It's like a weird wispy sandy hair But then it's like there's a bit of like fuck you in there as well. It's like a yellow in my hair I'm pretty point break. Let's just say cool. Oh, wow Next question is from bow williams. He did ask about shami and jaden and doing videos with him. Yes The boys will probably do another video with them in the future Um But he also asks michael, what do you think of the movie interstellar? Oh, it's fucking. I love that movie. Good film. I've seen it like three times, but you fucking hate star wars. You can't Dude, that's double Star Wars is a is always a war in space That's so shit, dude. And yeah, those movies I said before was shit, too And that's your movie collection. So you can't back anything. I can back everything. So Yeah, yeah interstellar is way better than star wars. I will say that it's real It's real life, bro. That actually happened. They filmed it back then Like millions and millions of years ago. They filmed that Next question is from um men Oh, sorry men Manuel a sulmer and Fuck I need some training. Yeah, you need voice um Would you try recording ads for companies that don't sponsor you and then build them to see if they would react Yeah, this gave me a segment idea. Imagine if I we just started doing that like We do like I'll read out like oh, yeah, we do. Oh go to Kmart Kmart awesome. Yeah, and then I'll send an invoice to them And I'll be like, hey, we promoted you and then they'll be like, oh like we didn't want that Sorry, and they were like, oh what you're not going to pay me now for the work I've done and then just have an interaction with them. Oh But I don't know if that's illegal though because imagine if they just paid if one of them just paid Yeah, we could get in trouble. Is that like us trying to scam people out of money? That's like fraud or something, but it would be funny to do it with some just give him a fake bank account that doesn't lead to anything Or we can just oh, yeah, that's true. And so it just bounces back or build them for zero dollars But then we don't know. Yeah, it's all flele. Clele. Sorry A question from the podcast from David Clark Would you guys consider doing the orange toss again? But this time make it more interesting trying by trying Marty and Mockle together or tying Marty and Mockle together so they can't run The orange what the orange toss is that where we have oranges thrown at our bodies? Yes Yeah, yep, we'll do that again. It would Man oranges are no joke. Okay. So they can press a bit apples just explode as soon as they touch you Oranges leave nasty nasty bruises and I had a fucking weak pig Yeah, I had an apple hit me in the like either Like you but not as like direct that was back in the fire What fire? Sorry Oh, yeah, yeah when my eye flew Tundalua remember that to get that little machine that poked my eye Oh When I got years ago, I got hit in the eye with an apple film and a video like direct hit from James The hardest throwing friend of ours that we have we've all got pretty good arms on us And it was a direct hit on my eye And I went to the hospital because I couldn't it was excruciating to look left and right and up and down I'd look straight ahead Then they got this little machine that they to test the pressure of my eye They wanted to see if I was like bleeding in behind my eye They just it just touches your eyeball really fast And you just have to keep your eye open this little fucking machine. He's just tapping on your eyeball. Oh my god I don't remember. Yeah, it sounds horrible, but it's it's really fast and you barely feel it though. I will say that Oh man Anyway, if you get hit with an apple it has a chance of disintegrating and orange is like Remember my face was numb in parts for months. Yeah You had a touch like here and I'd feel it you had a stroke like man Stroke face. That apple hit gave you a stroke. What do you suggest is your best hangover cure? Shit loads of water and a And a fucking hot hot boiling hot water Oh man skull it Like some I guess yeah Bloody food like pizza the thing I found most effective during our drinking days was To skull as much water as you can before you go to bed I can't do that because I just pissed guarantee. Yeah. Well, you're gonna piss anyway So you may as well skull. No, there's there's time if there's there's potential if you don't have too much But if I skull water that's guaranteed. Yeah, it's over for you Yeah, um, but yeah, I guess you're just hydrating your body, right? I put my hand on this one Hangover is mostly it's dehydration and all your Electrous lights and everything sucked out of your fucking corpse You suck got sucked dry by prostitute the night before Matt brown you fucking sucked sucked at tits and came in our ass Have you ever felt the feeling when you're lying down that you're gonna faint? Once oh man, it is the word Oh, when you mean when you're drunk and you get dizzy or like if you've had like that longer session like, you know A bender for a couple days and then you sort of wake up It's like oh, yeah No, I've never had that you always had that energy because you haven't eaten for so long Fluggers be so weak. He'd be like We'd have to go get him food because you couldn't even stand up I'd have to munch on apples just to get like natural sugars in me Like a little injured possum on the side of the road Next question is from Calvin Klein camera archive Boys, what is the story behind the feet tattoos and how did it come like how did it come to be? And ken brown get one. Oh, you know the uh, this is for a video and it is um uh What is it? Um, uh, our shoes Our tattoos of shoes the same as shoes or as or our tattoos of shoes just tattoos So you're checking if tattoos shoes and stuff like that So we check to see if Tatling shoes on was the same as wearing actual shoes that was our experiment and the results were amazing Yeah, we we shouldn't give it away, but it's surprising. It's not what you think Thank you. Sorry, but go watch it final question is from ash And her question is We know you're all we know you guys are interested in sleep paralysis science Aliens and is there anything we wouldn't Do you want me to Is there anything we wouldn't suspect that you're interested in so is there anything that you guys are interested in that the people Just wouldn't expect. Oh man tennis still tennis is ddr at the r.k. Dance dance revolution really? Damn, I wish that was true No, it's because I've seen you play it a few times back when I was like 13 Me and my mate we guys are really into unique health things like marty's into cold showers and sometimes cold bars Oh, man, I can't deal with cold. Yeah, but marty's into that sort of stuff Yeah, but you never used to be no, it was only since wim hoff helped me meditate for the first time in my life James is into some weird health stuffs as well. He got the shakata mat. I don't know. Yeah We're just into natural health stuff. Yeah, I wouldn't say it's weird. I think some of us We what's fucking things that hobbies Yeah, sport lots of sport. We're into I love boxing. We watch you have see Tennis and cricket. I fucking just can watch cricket for days. Can't Don't know what it is. I love cricket more the older I get too I love watching it cricket, but I can get that with golf now I love watching the ko minis of all of the cricket games every single one Even when Australia's not even involved. I'll watch a fucking five day test match between England and South Africa Wow Holy shit, really? Yeah, I'm really into the UFC Man skateboarding go buy an evolve board. Oh, yeah, we like yeah, we like the electric boards. That's always a fun day out There's I'm getting a faster one soon. They go up to like 54 You really kill yourself. Sorry about that. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say you can't put that out Awesome Are you all gonna kill yourself on one of these boards one day your reckless behavior and the fact that can go 50 Case now that is a combination that is not meant to last Shock on your uh buying your other one. No, I'll be safe. I'll put knee pads on all right And a helmet just put them all over your body a helmet just cover yourself in the pads Shit Shit She all right guys That's the questions for this week If you want us to answer your questions comment your questions and the mighty Michael fully actual youtube channel We answer the most like questions first And if your question isn't the most like just keep commenting the same question because we'll get to it eventually Have a scroll through see which questions you want us to answer and give them a like It's time for the screaming segment It's time for the fucking screaming segment you fucking can't Oh, holy shit. This is a segment right where we just call a random business And I scream at the top of my lungs as loudly as I can If they make it to 60 seconds without hanging up I have to say to them you win this round and then Go from there. So they win if they make it to 60 seconds. They hang up. They lose Oh Last week or someone said remember 55 seconds. I mean, it's a long time to listen to someone scream What are you doing brown? That needs to walk around because it's It's like a workout This screams going to be directed right at you Matt. What's your prediction? I'm calling Oh, okay, so Matt Branson 14 seconds and they'll hang up I reckon it's gonna be 27 Oh, I'm gonna say 24 All right, here we go Oh, they hung up immediately. I reckon we do a round two. Oh brown. This is fucking luxury Really, is it good? I love it. You can sort of move Matt and Michael have swapped seats everyone listening this is fucking bliss over here. Well, that's you live in luxury That's the only have this for a bit. That's the fucking screaming segment done boys. All right We now need to move on to the prank call Sorry, we're gonna do the prank call and this week we have a fan prank call. All right, let me just quickly read this Hey legends, is there any chance you could call one of my friends? He works for his dad's company as a logistics slash delivery manager It would be fucking gold if you could call him and blast him about a missing delivery Oh, it's Jackson. Fuck everything. Here we go. Like to lucky. Here we go Jackson Are you there? Yeah, yeah, we're there. We're ready. He's called you hasn't he? No, he didn't even try to call back. He just texted me and said everything all good. Just finished training Okay. All right, so it's oh, he's ready. No, he's got his phone on him. Okay. Fuck. All right. Here we go boys This is it Calling up. What did you want me to say again? Um, just say, oh, can you drop me to the doctor? Um at like 9 a.m. Tomorrow Are you sorry? You're the best Jackson Can't quite work out lads Oh, for fuck's sake Oh True True true true. All right. Well fucking looks like he's got us this week Oh, we failed do it I literally tried to call him right now and I heard him walk through the door as he walked in Oh Man, that's We don't really call ever like it's we it's like to lucky to receive a call from me or for me to receive a call from He's like almost like alien. It just doesn't happen I don't reckon that I've like ever called him Oh, well fucking he's too good that slippery little bean he's gotten out of our It's a really two phone calls. It's something like Extremely serious, which is never could you could you put us like um, we'll plan this first Could you right now put us on loudspeaker and just say a lie to locky and then we can say that we got That way it's lie to you All right, I just need to do a quick live Jeremy 21 seconds Locky, yeah I need to go to the doctors tomorrow at nine in south, well They need to go to physio at 10 and I was wondering if you'd be able to come down and get me Can you buy a baby seat from kmart before you come so I can skin the back seat of the car? Yeah We got you you idiot. This is a lie so easy Look, we're gonna we're gonna you're gonna miss us now. We're gone. Locky. We're gonna find someone else to light it I think I think it makes sense for something to fail. I mean, I was it's gonna look cute Like no one would believe it. Yeah, it's very true. It's very true How regularly on a fucking Thursday or a Wednesday can you just lie to it's it's been a good run It's been a good run and um, we can do it. You start doing to my mom. I'll click you a number. Oh, yeah. Yeah, actually Start ruining your life. Oh, no Call her like change your podcast time to like 2 a.m. Wake her up Just call her into the fucking bitch All right, jackson. Well, thanks for trying dude. We hope your recovery goes well We'll come see you next week. We got a week off cunt. You're the best jackson Anyway Are they good? Could I have one? There's a couple left. He's gonna fucking nail him down. Um All right, so right after this snack, we're gonna prank all This cunt all our pranks have failed really today Well, what was the overall time for the screen? Uh, like four seconds fastest screaming so many up. Yeah, I reckon with things like They're not gonna put up with that It depends how busy they are too. If I'm busy. I'm hanging up immediately I'll hang up straight away Some guy rang the video shot once and he's like, yeah, can I order a pizza? And I was hung up He's like he's like he would have been thinking he's gonna do the best prank call I was fucking up straight away Anyway, all right, let's call this cunt and say I'm gonna call this fan and this friend And say that I didn't get my delivery So he's not gonna answer Hello Yeah, good day, mate I ordered um lock crate a third off you guys lock I think maybe um fourth of last month. Um Delivery is meant to rove on Monday. Um, I'll call the bloke. He said, no, it's tomorrow. Uh, Tuesday Comes and goes and now we're sitting on Thursday, right? And I still don't got me automatic So, um, yeah, I'm gonna have to escalate it and that unless someone tells me what's going on here, bro late Oh He fucking knew He fucking knew see there you go guys Fan prank calls our heart, you know, he might recognize a voice too. He might watch the friggin flele Anyway, so we will try the odd fan call, but you can see why we stick to the businesses because it's uh A little less guesswork Hey, um, my name's dakota. Um, I was just looking um on your guys's um website And I've just noticed that um a fair few of the materials you guys are using are um, actually quite Destructive on the um environment. I was just wondering if you had a second to quickly chat about um Some potential impacts of some of the materials that you guys are using or Um, do you want to call to a manager or that would actually be great if we could um If I could speak to the person in charge straight away, that would be the best. Yeah. Yeah Awesome. Thank you. Yeah From choosing a paint color. Oh god, put me on hold like hurry up about it. Do you know what I mean? It's crazy. Hi Hello, um, hello, um, am I speaking with the owner of bunnings? Uh, no, I'm not the owner, but I'm one of the managers. How can I help right? Okay? Um, yeah, so I've just been looking on um your websites Um, and I've just sort of noticed um some of the materials you guys are using are actually, um, quite damaging to the Environment and I'm actually part of an activist group. That's just going out and spreading awareness Um to some of the places that are sort of misusing materials So I was just doing kind of like a courtesy call It's like a favor to you guys just to let you guys know that um, what you're actually doing Like some of your materials like are actually using the environment Like you're using the environment in your materials and it's actually pretty devastating to like the land Yeah, like I can appreciate that but I'm yeah, it's like part of like our business where we run like they do Um, try to sustainably resource as much as we can and there is like protocols in place Um, yeah in line with that and like responsible resourcing. Um, yeah I had a look at um some of those protocols and to be honest like they're very um How can I put this like they're not not actually very good like they're not good And what I've seen is um, that yeah, I recommend that you maybe update your protocols as such because um Like I said, like you guys are like using like the environment and you're selling the environment to people Okay, and that in itself you're making money off of environment Okay, like selling wood etc etc like trees have to get cut down like the wood doesn't come from the ground Okay, you have to go out and cut trees down to get wood. So it doesn't just grow on trees So it's for you guys to be doing that. I don't know. It's um Yeah, it's a poor business model. Um, moving forwards because we all want to live on earth for long times So, yeah, I can respect that. Now you only thank you for um taking the time to give us that feedback and We can make sure you actually write that down because um, yeah like write that down and I'll I'll leave my number In case you guys want to call back Um, and just I've actually got it on this phone. So I'm actually I'm actually a fear. Did you just call me a mate? Sorry. Yeah, my name's Dakota. I'm actually a female Okay, you go to that's fine. Anyway, I'll I'll leave you to it. You have a good night This is don't you can't just assume my agenda also like that. So make sure you write that down too I'm not happy with this service. I have to be honest with you Stop using stop using the environment and putting it in boxes and selling it to people Do you understand? I want my children to live a long happy life on this earth And that's not gonna happen when you're selling pieces of wood to people and things like metal metal comes from the ground Okay, you have to dig that up and put that on shelves and selling that to people ridiculous. You fucking coward You coward All my fucking god, dude. She's she's decoded. It's hard to hear out She's fair She's fair. Oh my god. That was good What's his name? Kleinford Dude, Kleinford did I think he did very well to put up with her. Shit. I've had far too much chocolate Maxi Bon and Tim Thames But fuck that was man Dakota is Level team bars That was so he must have I wonder what he was thinking you wanted to hit her. Yeah, Dakota's a rough bitch Fuck she's a rough bitch Anyway, guys that's the end of episode number 31 don't forget to like comment subscribe And help us out tell a friend about us because none of our videos are monetized as you know So we don't get pushed to anyone. It's all just been word of mouth this community we've built So let's keep it growing and tell us if you want to um You're in brisbon and if you want to come to a live show Yes, if we know when we have our live show we need an idea of numbers So please comment. I would go to your live show in brisbon below If you would come Okay, you have to actually come though. You can't just say, oh, that's it was cool. We're gauging the numbers like that's how we Yeah, help us please nine weeks. We're gauging the numbers. Yeah So fucking get out there and get it done. Suck a fun blunt done brah Yeah, we're the best we're the best best best best best best best