 Chapter 17 of Autobiography of an Actress by Anna Coral-Mollett This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Kelly Taylor. A portion of the summer theatrical vacation was passed in traveling. Our first visit was to the birthplace of the great Prince of Dramatists, whose transcendent genius of itself consecrates the stage. During one of our drives through Stratford, our carriage, chance to be filled with water lilies, just gathered at Victoria Spa. By a sudden impulse, they were woven by me into a wreath and flung at Shakespeare's door. The old woman who was in charge of the house, spied the snowy token and carried it to the room which is exhibited as the one in which Shakespeare was born. At Anne Hathaway's cottage, we drank from that well of the most pollucid water beside which she and her inspired poet lover may often have stood. The sunny portion of one day was spent rowing on the Avon. The stream bore no white water lilies on its bosom, but was profusely gemmed with a flower of cerulean blue resembling a hyacinth. A few of these were gathered as mementos. We were amused with our boatman's virulity. His ideas as Shakespeare were irreverent to a degree that turned indignation into mirth. He said he believed that some man of the name of Shakespeare did live in that butcher's shop, but as far as he could find out, the man didn't differ particularly from other folks. As for the trash that was shown to strangers as having belonged to Mr. Shakespeare, it had all been bought up at sales of old furniture. He knew that, for a fact. When he discovered that we were Americans, he asked as many questions concerning the far-off El Dorado and ended with, Well, I should like to go to America once, and my wife says she has no objection to go if she can come home at night to sleep. At Charlotte Cote, we passed several hours, several more amongst the grass-grown ruins of Kenlaworth Castle and the rest of the day at Guy's Cliff and Warwick Castle. A beautiful portrait of Mrs. Sidon's was pointed out to us at the latter place by the housekeeper, who assured us that Mrs. Sidon's had resided in that very castle in the capacity of ladies-made. An expression of incredulity from one of our party quite incensed the narrator. Her fertile imagination furnished us with a marvelous sketch of the early life of the Queen of Tragedy. The biographer who complained that her history lacked incident might have found an embezzé-de-liche with such a treasury. The genuineness of the materials and that of the Shakespearean curiosities would have probably weighed alike in the balance of truth. At the Isle of Wight, the Eden of England, we passed several weeks of enchantment. The circuit of the island was made in daily jants. During these excursions, our memories were richly stored with pictures of varied loveliness. Through gradual transitions, the scenic beauty of the island glides from the wildly sublime to the softly beautiful. The rest of the summer flew merrily by at a pretty furnished cottage hired for the season in Richmond. How charming I thought that little cottage with its porch and windows draped with jasmine vine. Now and then the wind would loosen for stones of the starry flowers and blow them into the window as if inviting us to pluck them. Their fragrance circled the cottage with a perfume zone. Every moonlit evening, we rode upon the tins past the Pope's villa and other memorable localities. And every sunshiny day found us wandering through the exquisite queue gardens or the magnificent rounds of Hampton Court or beside the romantic Virginia Water. Or wherever nature and art clasp hands in picturesque union within our reach. During this summer, for the first time in my life, I comprehended the delightful interpretation of the words Perfect Health. What the poet meant to convey by the fresh, joyous sense of being was a new revelation to me. The English climate seemed to have endowed me with an elasticity and strength which defied fatigue. The distance I could walk became problematical. I could undergo any amount of hill climbing or wagon jolting or horseback galloping. The fragile form so often is subject of pitying regret to my English friends and which the mistress of the wardrobe on the evening of my London debut had aptly lacking to a beanstalk now rounded into robustness. My mind and spirits sympathetically partook of the vigor that animated my frame. This summer seemed to me like a Sabbath rest after the labour exhaustion, trials of the six working days appointed for toil. Strange that no prophetic voice within whispered that such halcyon calm might precede life's heaviest storms, no warning angel cried, O joyful heart, exult not so, mistrust that prospect fair. It is the lure of death and woe, the ambush of despair. Or if he did, the voice could not reach my clay-clouded senses. Our engagement at the Merlebone Theatre was renewed for another year. After that, we proposed to return to America. Our new contract stipulated that I should only appear four nights in the week. The Olympic Theatre had been destroyed by fire and was rebuilding. The Lycee and manager of the Merlebone had also become its Lycee. The new edifice was be completed by Christmas. We were to appear at the Merlebone from September until December. We had to open the new Olympic and remain there until the close of the season. While Mr. Malewet was discussing with the manager the terms of the engagement, I expressed my surprise at the total disregard of all managers for the private comfort of the unfortunate being except stars. I fancy I made some rather satirical comments upon the style of dressing rooms in which I had spent the larger portion of so many evenings for the last few years. I used myself with giving a burlesque description of some of the underground cells and attic corners which I had been forced to occupy while being arrayed in the purple and gold of royalty. Butterfly splendors compressed into the narress of chrysalis shells. The manager, supposing that I rebelled at these discomforts as much as I ironically pretended, made answer, if you conclude to remain next season the theatre shall boast of a star-dressing room such as never before was seen. I answered, laughingly, I suppose you will send some profile stage properties to my room and ask me to be as good-natured as the audience and believe them to be what they seem, accepting them at theatrical valuation. We removed to London for the opening of the theatre early in September. I was not to act on the first night, but had consented to appear upon the stage during the singing of God Save the Queen. This anthem is always sung by the whole company at the opening of every English theatre. The chamber appropriated to the use of the star was a small compartment petitioned off from the green room. The green room is the theatrical drawing room where the company assembled during the play and their call for the stage is made. It is very seldom frequented by the stars. They generally retire from the stage to their own rooms. The apartment to which I was conducted on reaching the theatre had undergone a transformation worthy of Aladdin's lamp. The carpet was of roses on a bed of moss. The paper on the walls represented panels formed of the loveliest bouquets, a wreath of flowers to match surrounded the ceiling. The gaslight streamed through ornaments shaped like lilies, a most lifelike group of water lilies executed by Valentine Bartholomew. Flower painted to her majesty, hung upon the wall, and four mirrors reflected the furniture of pale blues, satin and gold. I stood a while gazing in dazzled astonishment. I had wished for comfort, not splendor, and was ungrateful enough to doubt that they had been, in this instance, united. The suspicion proved correct. The boudoir dressing chamber became sort of a showroom which crowds of visitors nightly begged the privilege of inspecting. The furniture was too costly for any but the most careful use. My meek maid, the same I mentioned in the previous chapter, used to say with a sigh, I don't like fairyland where there's real work going on. I'd care to move any more than if it were a glass of sauce. Everything looks as brittle as if it were bright by looking at it. King Midas found it inconvenient to eat gold instead of bread. I was punished in a somewhat similar fashion, discovering the comfortlessness of inappropriate magnificence. The theater opened with Epps Sargent's tragedy of Velasco. Fanny Vining impersonated Isadora, of which Ellen Tree was the original in America, and Mr. Davenport enacted Velasco. Both characters were finally delineated. The play found favor with the public and was several times repeated. A number of new plays were produced with various degrees of success during the season. But the poem was won by the classic tragedy of Virginia. Translated from the French of Mr. Latour de Saint-Ivaz by John Oxenford at Squire. Monsieur Latour dramatized the Roman story of Virginia for Madame Oswell Rochelle. The chief interest is made to turn upon the female character, and all opportunities afforded by the historical narrative for portraying the tender and heroic passions are carefully improved. Mr. Davenport enacted Virginia's and I, Virginia. Shakespeare's Sybilene and Twelfth Night were revived and ran for some nights. But the most imminently successful of all our Shakespearean revivals was Romeo and Juliet, produced in the style of magnificence as regards scenery and stage appointments that can seldom have been equaled in any theater. Miss Fanny Vining gave a fervid impersonation of the impassioned Romeo, nor did her sex destroy the illusion as might have been supposed. I never knew the tragedy so popular with the public and have never had a Romeo whom I liked so well. Mr. Davenport played Mercutio and I, Juliet. The play was repeated a number of nights in succession. The season closed early in December with Mr. Davenport's benefit, the house overflowing on the occasion. A portion of the company were engaged for the new Olympic. That theater was to open at Christmas under the same management as the Marlebone. The manager, at the termination of this prosperous season, desired to express his acknowledgements to the ladies and gentlemen of the company and artisans engaged in the theater. They accordingly received an invitation to assemble upon the stage on the evening after the theater closed. A few of the literati and members of the press were also requested to attend. The theater was decorated with garlands and banners, the stage thrown to its full extent and set out as a ballroom. At the upper end were three tables, one running parallel with the footlights was furnished with raised seats. These were designed for the manager, Lee C. Stars, the press and invited guests. Two other tables ran horizontally at either end of the center banqueting board. The members of the company sat at one of these tables. The Cordubute Ballet, Artisans, etc. occupied the other. No one who had been regularly employed in the theater was omitted in the general invitation. Not even the some nambulent little callboy who might have preferred the rare luxury of going to bed betimes. Callboys are always sleepy. Although the position of the subordinates of the theater might have on that night been a novel one to their honor be it spoken. The most fastidious observer could not have picked a flaw in their conduct. Their decorum was unimpeachable. No loud mirth was heard throughout the evening. Subdued enjoyment reigned in its place. With as strict observance of nice proprieties as would have been deemed necessary in an aristocratic ballroom, the assembled company were addressed by the manager who expressed to them his indebtedness for their exertions and his regret at parting with some of their number. Various speeches were made by other parties present and a number of favorite ballads sung by the musician of the theater and one or two of the guest. Albert Smith of Mount Block Memory contributed largely to the entertainment by his comic relations. A few quadrills and waltzes had been gone through before supper. There was but one cotillion and a country dance after the collection. It had been arranged that the entertainment should break up at an early hour. The ceremony of leave taking had just commenced when a shriek, wild and ear piercing broke upon the startled crowd. A flying figure enveloped in flames was seen rushing up the stage. One of the young ballet girls had carelessly stood two near the footlights. Her ball dress of inflammable materials had taken fire. Screaming frantically, she darted from side to side, fanning by her flight the devouring element which in mad bewilderment she thought to escape. She looked like a cloud of fire as she flew. Her white arms tossing wildly above her head were all of the human form that was visible through the flames. Her cries were echoed from many lips. Those who could fled from the dangerous contact. Vane efforts were made by the gentleman to seize her. But for the bravery of Mrs. Renshaw, the mistress of the wardrobe, the poor girl's life must in a few moments have been sacrificed. This courageous woman caught the burning girl in her arms, threw her to the ground, and fell upon her, smothering the flames while she fearlessly burned her own face and hands. Others followed her example. And the fire was quickly extinguished. I cannot attempt adequately to describe the scene that ensued upon the very spot where a few moments previous all reigned and harmonious gaiety. Some of the ladies fainted. Some fell into violent hysterics. Some screamed into the street. The gentleman rushed about to obtain assistance for them. Above the mingle sounds of horror and confusion rose the shrill cries of the half-burned girl and the lamentations of her mother who had been quickly apprised of her daughter's peril. The person of the young girl was dreadfully burned, her arms almost to the bone. Strange to say her face remained untouched. For a time her recovery was very doubtful. I saw her almost daily through her long illness and her patients would have done credit to a stronger mind and a higher station in life. The public testified their sympathy in a very substantial manner. Ample subscriptions were raised for her. The best medical attention supplied. And not a few aristocratic carriages stopped at her humble residence in one of the narrowest closest streets in London while she received charitable visits from wealthy and fashionable owners. I know nothing of the history of Miss R except what occurred during her illness. In general, are a despised, persecuted and often misjudged race. The rank they hold in a theatre is only a degree raised above that of the male supernumeraries. They are looked down upon by the acting members of the company as though they belong to a different order of beings. In some London theatres they have a separate green room from that devoted to the actors and actresses. They are not the latter apartment and yet during my eight years experience upon the stage I haven't known among this despised class many and many an instance of girls endowed with the highest virtues leading lives of unimpeachable purity, industry, devotion to their kin and fulfilling the hardest duties of life with a species of stoical heroism. The woman who on the stage is in danger of losing the highest attribute of her womanhood, her priceless native dour of chastity, would be in peril of that loss in any situation of life where she was in some degree of freedom, particularly one in which she was compelled by circumstances to earn her own livelihood. I make this assertion fearlessly for I believe it firmly. There is nothing in the profession necessarily demoralizing or degrading, not even to the poor ballet girl. In support of this position I give a brief sketch of a young girl belonging to a ballet company whose conduct I had the opportunity of watching for several years. I do not deem it necessary to mention the circumstances that first attracted my attention and caused me to take interest in her fate. She had been educated as a dancer from infancy. Even on the stage all her life had literally grown up behind the scenes of a theatre. Her parents were respectable, though it is difficult to define their position in the social scale. At the time I knew her her mother was paralytic and bedridden. Her father was enfeebled by age and could only earn a pittance by copying law papers. Georgina, the ballet girl, their only child, by her exertions supplied the whole wants of the family. And what were those exertions? The mind of the most imaginative reader could hardly picture what I know to be a reality. Georgina's parents kept no servant. She discharged the entire duties of the household cooking, washing, sewing, everything. From daylight to midnight not a moment of her time was unemployed. She must be at rehearsal every morning at ten o'clock and she had two miles and a half to walk to the theatre. Before that hour she had the morning meal of her parents to prepare, her marketing to accomplish, her household arrangements for the day to make. If early in the week her washing, if in the middle of the week her ironing, if at the close her sewing for she made all of her own and her mother's dresses. At what hour in the morning she had risen? Her ten o'clock rehearsal lasted from two to four hours, more frequently the latter. But watch her in the theatre and you never found her hands idle. When she was not on the stage you were sure of discovering her in some quiet corner, knitting lace, cutting great aprons out of tissue paper, making artificial flowers or embroidering articles of fancy by the sale of which she added to her narrow means. From rehearsal she hastened home to prepare the midday meal of her parents and attend to her mother's wants. After dinner she received a class of children to whom she taught dancing for a trifling sum. If she had a half an hour to spare she assisted her father in copying law papers. Then tea must be prepared and her mother arranged her long walk to the theatre must be accomplished at least a half an hour before the curtain rose, barely time for her to make her toilet. If she was belated by her home avocations she was compelled to run the whole distance. I have known this to occur. Not to be ready for the stage would have subjected her to a forfeit. Between the acts or when she was not on stage there she sat again in her snug corner of the room dressed as a fairy or a maid of honour or a peasant or a page with a bit of work in her hands only laying down the needle which her fingers actually made fly when she was summoned by the call boy or required to change her costume by the necessities of the play. Sometimes she was at liberty at ten o'clock but often or not until half past eleven and then there was the long walk home before her. Her mother generally woke at the hour when Georgina was expected and a fresh round of filial duties were to be performed. Had not the wearied limbs which that poor ballet girl laid upon her couch earned their sweet repose and there many whose refreshment is so deserved whose rising up and lying down are rounded by a circle so holy. No one ever heard her murmur her fragile form spoke of strength over task it was more care worn than her face that always had a look of busy serenity off the stage a softly animated expression when occupied before the audience in the duties of her profession she had a ready smile when addressed a meek reply when rudely chided by the churlish ballet master Spotic stage manager many a time I have seen tears dropping upon her work but if they were noticed she would brush them away and say she was a fool and cried for nothing her devotion to her parents was the strongest impulse of her nature in her early youth she had been engaged to a young man a musician belonging to the orchestra they had been betrothed by tears some fairer face he could scarcely have found a sweeter had rendered him faithless she bore her deep sorrow with the lovely submission which elevates and purifies the spirit but gave her heart away no more the breath of slender had never shadowed her name younger and gayer girls in the theater used to designate her the old maid this was the hardest word that anyone ever plug Gina was not such a hard as her what Elizabeth Barrett Browning has described as a fair still house well kept which humble thoughts had swept and holy prayers made clean her answer to a sympathizing how weary you must be at night was yes but I am so thankful that I have health to get through such what would become of my poor mother or father if I fell ill how many are there who can render up such an account of their stewardship as this poor girl may give in the hereafter how many can say with her that life has been one perpetual growth of heavenward enterprise and this flower blossomed within the walls of a theater was the indigenous growth of that theater a wall flower if you like but still sending up the rich fragrance of gratitude to him by whose hand it was fashioned to the eyes of the Pharisee who denounces all dramatic representations while with self applauding righteousness he boldly approaches the throne of mercy this ballet girl like the Republican stood afar off to the eyes of the great judge which stood the nearer end of Chapter 17 Chapter 18 of autobiography of an actress by Anna Cora Mollett this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Kelly Taylor during this autumn Mr. Mollett again fell seriously ill one eye became totally blind its vision was never more restored he was threatened at times with an entire loss of sight medical aid proved unavailing a voyage to the West Indies was recommended as the sole remaining panacea always hopeful he seized upon the idea so full of promise and persuaded himself that speedy and thorough cure would be affected through a change of climate my desire to accompany him was overruled nor was the execution of this wish feasible the prostrating species a mild mare to which I was subject during the entire period of every sea voyage would have rendered me a burden and not a helpful companion more imperative reasons compelled me to remain in London it was only through the fulfillment of my engagements that the necessary outlay added to other heavy responsibilities could be met I was enjoying vigorous health I was surrounded by warm and tried friends I was not left alone but he enough that he thought he had chosen the lesser evil it was not in his nature to murmur at the inevitable he set sail for Trinidad in October proposing to return in December before the opening of the New Olympic but Christmas came and with it only a letter in the Invalid's wished for place the sunny climate had benefited him yet he was too feeble to undertake the homeward voyage every steamer brought cheerful and encouraging letters but the day of his return was postponed from week to week he had been apprised in Trinidad that to leave the tropical latitude for the cold and uncertain climate of England during the winter season was to rush into certain danger I was forced to lay aside my expectations as quietly as I best might to give up looking for him until spring the New Olympic theater was to open on 26th of December in English theaters there are no performances during Christmas week nor as with us upon Christmas Eve or Christmas night no theater in London could boast of a more powerful and extensive company than the Olympic all the talent within reach had been monopolized by the manager at a rate of new renumeration which the most prosperous theater could ill support among this host of constellations were found the names of Davenport Brooke, Conway, Wigan, Belton, Compton all actors who since that day have shown separately as stars besides a cluster of lesser luminaries the feminine portion of the company consisted of Miss Fanny, Vinning, Mrs. Seymour and Mrs. Marshall, Mrs. Marston Mrs. Parker, Mrs. Wigan, Mrs. Horn Ms. Oliver, Ms. Ellis etc. Ladies of unquestionable talent in their several departments a gifted and harmonious band the stage management was under the direction of Mr. George Ellis stage manager of Her Majesty's Private Theater at Windsor Palace one of the most accomplished directors of which the profession can boast I propose that the star system should be abolished that they are at the head of the playbills as claiming the highest rank but that all should stand upon their individual merits leaving the public to award to everyone his just position the proposition was acceded to with one voice the same plan has been adopted in other London theaters every actor is of course engaged for a separate line of business the first old man does not trench on the of the low comedian nor the light comedian interfere with the heavy man or villain of the theater nor the leading juvenile jostled against the walking man nor the first old woman come the way of the second old woman nor the leading lady of the walking lady nor the heavy lady of the singing chambermaid and the page etc. The members of the company of the Olympic theater resemble the men on a chess board each has his appointed place and fights his battle for distinction in a fixed direction I write this much for the uninitiated the Olympic theater was to open with Shakespeare's play of the two gentlemen of Verona to be followed by the usual fantastic Christmas pantomime I was selected to deliver the inaugural address written by Albert Smith and the writer that was to end my duties for the night Miss Vinning and Mr. Davenport sustained the principal characters of the play the recent death of Queen Adelaide rendered it incumbent that all the company should appear upon the stage during the singing of the national anthem attired in mourning or wearing mourning badges I refuse to comply with this request while I respect the convictions of others my own objections to the use of mourning or rather to wear black as mourning deserve I hope some better name than prejudice at least they are founded upon the religious belief which I profess and are shared by the leading members of the faith in this country though not in England the force of English conventionality was too strong for me to obtain consent to the violation of an established form while the subject was under discussion and both parties invents a determination not to yield a third person chance to inquire whether I objected to wear white I of course replied in the negative then wear a dress of white crepe with trimmings of white crepe and without ornaments that is considered mourning as much as black to which you are opposed was the satisfactory rejoinder I gladly acceded to this proposition when the curtain rose upon the assembled company prepared to sing God Save the Queen I cannot conceive a more gloomily incongruous side than was presented in that gaily decorated theater blazing with light set tear after tear of men women and children all habituated in black the merry faces and funereal garves were strikingly inharmonious on the stage stood the performers arrayed in the same sable hue those who were costumed for the play wore black badges strangely at variance with their fantastic stage attire my dress of white crepe offered no disrespect to the memory delayed and relieved by contrast the somber aspect of the group in whose center I stood at the close of the anthem the inaugural address was delivered I exerted myself to give it a thoroughly humorous interpretation as maybe inferred from the name of the author the address was not of a solemn character the black garbed audience indulged in the most vociferous merriment at Mr. Albert Smith's jokes they were infinitely amused at his discovery that there was something extremely ludicrous in the burning of the old Olympic upon the side where the present edifice stood the real water flooded the Olympic stage the unexpected overflow in the theater from the engine hose the leases hopes ending in smoke and the French ships destroyed a spectacle which at one period he asserted would have been particularly enjoyed the performance of the play afforded a quiet and rational gratification but the uproarious mirth of course broke out anew at the whimsicalities of Matthews during the pantomime the laughter produced by his singing of hot codlands showered with tears the cheeks of age and childhood true they were wiped away with handkerchiefs that had a funereal edge of black but the merry mourners wore trappings and the outward garb of woe with a jovial resignation quite consolatory to witness shortly after this the wardrobe of Queen Adelaide was sold I purchased several of her richest regal robes Queen have since decked the mimic representative of royalty upon the English as well as American boards my first appearance except for the delivery of the address was in Beatrice a few nights after the opening Mr. Davenport enacted Benedict Shakespeare's Twelfth Night was the next production the characters in this play are very numerous and the strength of the company was highly exhibited Mr. Brooke's first appearance was in Othello Mr. Davenport represented Iago, Miss Vinning, Emilia and I Desdemona the first new play produced was The Noble Heart by Mr. Lewis in which Mr. Davenport, Mr. Brooke and I sustained the leading characters fashion was the second novelty offered the public I declined appearing Miss Vinning enacted Gertrude and rendered the part more effectively than its author had ever done Mr. Davenport the old farmer Adam Truman the happy blending of deep pathos and hearty humor in his embodiment made the performance immemorable the mise en scene of the comedy was truly magnificent the play in spite of the admirable manner in which it was acted did not meet with the same unequivocable species of success which attended the representation of Armand before the English audience yet of 27 criticisms by the London press 20 were favorable perhaps because the quality of mercy was strained the lashings of those critics who disdained that quality of mercy atoned for the consistency of the others I have already alluded to the severity of the examiner who pronounced that Mrs. Trollop would for such a production have received at the hands of America a compensation very different from the one bestowed upon their country woman but the critic gallantly prefaced his own condemnation by a more complementary opinion of the daily times the savageness of the morning rebuted by punch Mr. Jenkins last week favored the limited world in which he moves with a notice of the first representation of Mrs. Mallet's comedy fashion or life in New York a play which according to the times has been acted with success at every chief city in the union and was received at our Olympic here with tumultuous applause it may says Jenkins by some persons be thought ungenerous in us when speaking of the production of a lady and a stranger if we employ any language that is not highly complementary but genius is of no sex and then Jenkins proceeds to abuse the lady and strangers play elaborately in every particular with all his mighty soul and gigantic strength for the dead that he thus makes he must of course have a motive which had he limited himself to strictures on the production itself might possibly have been supposed to be a no meaner one than an excess of critical zeal but Mr. Jenkins not content with yelping at the play must needs have a snap at the authorist when the actors writes gently sneering Jenkins had indulge us with another glance at their persons a very general call from all parts of the house brought Mrs. Mawet on the stage the noise was then tremendous and a shower of customary bouquets more weighty and continuous than we ever remember it to have been the affair was a little overdone for not only were the flowers provided too profusely but the lady in our eyes appeared to be ready dressed for the occasion why could you have not moderated the rancor of your pen a little Jenkins why attack the lady and stranger personally is it your individual self or your order Jenkins or flunky dumb that Mrs. Mawet has offended Jenkins you say that genius is of no sex there is criticism as personified by you at any rate it is not manly there was some truth in the ready dressed for the occasion I was nervously uncertain of the success of fashion and went to the theater in a morning wrapper that if the play failed I might not seem to have anticipated a triumph I passed the evening in a private box opening behind the scenes and only made my toilet during the fifth act when the success of the play was insured as for the floral showers those are always more or less a conventional farce the friends of a performer usually arm themselves with bouquets and the management as frequently prepare a second supply I am not aware that the latter was the case at the production of fashion it might have been at all events the number of personal friends who were present might well account for the pockier like aspect of the stage during my reception it is a mistake to suppose that the bouquet rain is ever a sign of the estimation in which an actor is held by the public in general though it is often the evidence of private esteem sometimes the same bouquet is made to do service more than once during an evening the critics who condemned fashion seems to hold my country responsible for its shortcomings those who awarded the meet of praise in turn bestowed their eulogums upon America as due to her through one of her children the sun prefaces its lengthy and laudatory criticism with the following America is worthily repaying the dramatic debt she owes us the seeds of the dramatic art which have been scattered by all our best dramatic artists broadcast on American soul have fructified and are now bearing fruit America has within the last three years given us miss kushman the greatest tragedian at present on our stage mrs. mowat the most interesting of young tragedians the most ladylike of genteel the only lady who has shown herself capable of taking misfoot's line of characters since misfoot left the stage mr. Davenport one of the most energetic and powerful actors of melodrama that has appeared of late years and whose powers as a legitimate tragedian and as a genteel comedian are of no common order besides a host of excellent delineators of Yankee peculiarities but America has not given us until last night any play that would stand the test of representation before a London audience rough and ranting melodramas have formed the staple of what America has hitherto sent us but last night this reproach was wiped out and there was represented at the olympic theater with the most deserved success an original American five act comedy the scene of which is laid in New York and which delineates American manners after the same fashion as our own Garrick Coleman and Sheridan were accustomed to delineate English manners and which as regards plot, construction character or dialogue is worthy to take its place by the side of the best of English comedies it will be observed that the critic ignores the representation of Armand which was produced at the Merlebone a year before and also a Velasco produced at the same theater the literary gazette is less oblivious though not so unqualifiedly eulogistic its review of the play has the following opening in the barrenness of home authorship in the spirit of humiliation which attaches to our dependence upon the French for among world dramatic literature the public will greet with satisfaction the quasi English production of an American author and to this author even a qualified approval tendered in spite of English self-love must be gratifying it became a fair and accomplished lady to venture on the hazardous undertaking which Mrs. Mawet achieved for the second time on Wednesday last in the new arena of her exploits the play is styled a comedy and is entitled fashion but we would rather consider it what our neighbors call un tableau de murs fashion ran two weeks a much shorter period than Armand on some evenings the republican sentiments met with of displeasure from the audience one night there was a very decided hiss at some of Adam Truman's and admitted versions with admirable presence of mine Mr. Davenport Paul's coolly folded his arms fixed his eyes upon that portion of the theater from which the hiss proceeded and waited for the decision of the audience demanding by his manner whether the majority were prepared to sanction such an interruption his perfect self-possession probably saved the play a torrent of applause silenced the hisses of disapprobation and commended the performance to proceed fashion was first published February 1850 I can never recall the London and New York traditions of this comedy without remembering the sad histories of the English and American personators of prudence the Yankee spinsters perhaps the most common character in the play though I never intended it to be so and never understood how it became so I give a brief sketch of those sorely tried servants of the stage in illustration of the mental discipline practiced by the actors and of their absolute renunciation in laying aside the most heart-rending sorrows during the fulfillment of their duty Mrs. Parker a most estimable woman an excellent actress was the representative of prudence in London while the play was in rehearsal she suddenly received a telegraphic dispatch from Brighton announcing that her husband was on the point of death he had for several years been a victim to consumption listened to him and arrived in time to receive his dying thanks and parting words of tenderness they had been united 25 years the bond of mutual love between them seems to have been of the most holy kind proved by love's highest test constancy and unselfishness for years the devoted wife had supported her invalid husband and their children by her exertions on the stage when the last offices were performed she returned to London fashion was to be produced in a couple of days more if the part assigned to her were given to another while she indulged her natural grief she could not demand the salary so necessary for the support of her children her only means of livelihood would be cut off for the length of time that the play ran she begged to be excused from rehearsal as far as possible but informed the management that she would perform her duty on the evening that the comedy was performed who amongst the audience that witnessed her comic delineation of the self satisfied spinster suspected that an agonized heart was masking its expression in the fictitious smiles that awaken their mirth I shall never forget the look of intense grief on her care warm countenance when as I was passing behind the scenes one evening I stopped to speak to her and to thank her for her efforts she was leaning against one of the wings waiting for her cue to appear upon the stage her little daughter of six years old was holding her hand and gazing up into the mother's face with a look of childish but troubled wonder she was too young to feel her loss I expressed to Mrs. Parker my regrets that she should be forced to exert herself while in so unfit a stage trying to conceal her emotion but with lips that quivered uncontrollable she said perhaps it is best for me I should soon be quite useless if I dare to give way and the children she could not finish her sentence turned her face from me as she drew the little one at her side more closely to her a moment afterwards she was on the stage and I could hear the peals of laughter that followed her entrance was not duty the strongest instinct of this high-hearted woman's nature was not her victory over herself a triumph that thousands who have sunk into a state of inactive dejection under the pressure of a similar sorrow the night bowed before and acknowledged as holy Mrs. Knight was the original personator of perudence in New York her name is endeared to the American public by a host of pleasant associations her talents were long the delight of audiences who used to crowd the park theater in the good old times when I became acquainted with her she was a widow residing with her brother for whom she was a twin like attachment her hopes were all centered upon a only daughter a lovely being of 17 when Mrs. Knight was first presented to me this sweet girl stood by her side eagerly listening to our conversation I can vividly recall the delicate bloom of her cheek the lustrous eyes the finely rounded form that seemed glowing with health and enjoyment of life's pure pleasures we never met again until fashion was reproduced after my own debut and I enacted the character of Gertrude Mrs. Knight personated prudence as before grief had made such ravages in her face that I scarcely recognized her when we encountered each other behind the scenes her daughter summons has come shortly after I first saw her in the form of consumption she lingered a few months filling her mother's breaking heart with alternate hopes and fears and then departed the bereaved mother had been completely crushed by the blow yet there she stood fantastically attired for a comedy though life had become to her the saddest of tragedies I watched her when she appeared on stage and could not perceive that her performance had lost any of the humor by which it had been formerly characterized but in reality every look, every word every action was mere mechanical effort the body went through a set routine while the spirit was far away when she left the stage I twice saw her throw herself into a chair and burst into a flood of tears at the stage summons the scalding drops were hastily wiped away but they seemed to reflows spontaneously the instant she was no longer within sight of the audience some years afterwards I visited her in London her sorrow still rankled time the great consolar had poured no bomb into the wound profuse weeping had brought the disease of the eyes and she had left the stage she was still residing with her brother to whom she clung asked to her only earthly hope such a history speaks for itself it needs no comment to these narrations I am tempted to add one more in exemplification of the same class of virtues I was not an eyewitness to the facts but they were related to me by a friend Mr. McCready was representing McBeth at Drury Lane an actress of great public and private excellence personated Lady McBeth she was in the act of going upon the stage when a letter was placed in her hands by the messenger of the theatre she glanced at the handwriting and turned deadly pale but her cue had been spoken by McBeth she thrust the letter in her bosom and walked firmly on the stage when the curtain fell upon the close of the third act my friend saw her with trembling hands hastily tear open the missive she uttered one exclamation of intense agony and with a face rigid as marble but tearless eyes refold the epistle my friend asked her what had happened but she could not command herself to answer stifling down her emotion she hurried to her dressing room the curtain rose for the fourth act at the call boys summons she reappeared and with forced composure concluded the part of Lady McBeth it was not until the curtain fell and her professional duty was at an end for the night that her grief broke forth in tears and words the letter apprised her of the death of her husband whom she had watched over with the truest womanly devotion through the most terrible of trials he was a lunatic End of Chapter 18 Chapter 19 of Autobiography of an Actress by Anna Coral-Mollett this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Kelly Taylor the classic tragedy of Ariadne was produced during this season at the Olympic the Ariane of Thomas Cornell the younger brother by 20 years of great Pierre Cornell the father of French drama was rendered into English blank verse by John Oxenford Esquire the French Ariane is one of Rachelle's most magnificent personations the female entrance predominates throughout the play indeed it is almost a monologue and the character of Arane affords rich capabilities for the display of tragic powers the art says truly of Arane this piece is a Rachelle's which has always been distinguished by a role capable of doing so the greenest laurels I ever won in London at least of the Malpomani Chaplet to the interpretation of the wronged Greek maiden Mr. Davenport represented thesis and looked the hero the author permits no more Phaedra the sister of Ariadne rendered by a mediocre actress would have been an unimpressive character but Miss Venning in the fourth act electrified the audience by Phaedra's impassioned burst of remorse after she has consented to betray her sister and fly with thesis in Thomas Cornell's version Ariadne is not secured by the god Bacchus according to the old classical story but on the discovery of her abandonment by thesis falls upon a sword and expires the catastrophe is altered by Mr. Oxenford in the English version a very startling scenic effect is produced by the leaping of Ariadne from a rock and her plunging into the sea while the ship of thesis is disappearing in the distance the stage execution of this novel termination was managed in a manner worthy of mention three Ariadne's all similarly costumed and twin in resemblance lint their aid to the accomplishment of the thrilling disaster the closing scene of the play represents a wildly picturesque portion of the island of Naxos in the distance rolls the sea on one side a ledge of rocks rises to a dizzy height from there juts out a single peak the loftiest summit of the island Ariadne is pacing the shore when the terrible intelligence is disclosed that she is deserted by thesis and that Phaedra has fled in his company a moment afterwards she beholds in the distance the ship which is bearing the fugitives to Athens frenzied at the site she rushes up the rocks and climbs the highest peak to catch the last glimpse of the vessel when it disappears she is overcome by despair and leaps into the sea the climbing of these rocks and the execution of the theatrical stratagem by which the leap appears to be made by Ariadne was a rather perilous experiment for a person of impetuous temperament and easily carried away by an exciting personation it was decided that I could not be trusted to make the dangerous ascent a girl was selected from the ballet who strongly resembled me Ariadne's Grecian robe with its rich border of blue and gold her double crown and jeweled zone were duplicated for my counterfeit Ariadne II but this was not all the classic costume had to again be repeated for the toilet of Ariadne III a most lifelike lay figure the face, arms and bust of the latter were modeled from a statue spotless for the other two Ariadnes to object to their inanimate representative it was found no easy matter at rehearsal to persuade our timid Ariadne II to even walk up the steep rocks she stopped and shrieked halfway up, protested she was dizzy and might fall and would not advance a step further after about a half an hour's delay during which the poor girl was encouraged coaxed and scolded abundantly she allowed the carpenter who planned the rocky pathway to lead her carefully up and down the declivity and finally she rushed up alone our lay representative was couched at the top ready for her flight through the air Ariadne II at a certain cue suddenly falls upon her face concealed from the audience by a rising rock at the same moment a spring is touched and the lay figure with uplifted arms leaps from the cliff and drops into the abyss beneath at night Ariadne I unbeholding the ship of thesis uttered a prolonged shriek broke away from King Onarius and his friends who impeded her steps and flew up the rocks but turning no great height from the stage sprang off behind the scenes in the arms of a person stationed to receive her steps for her descent were found unavailable at the instant Ariadne I disappeared, Ariadne II darted from behind the cliff and swiftly clambered the rocky heights until she reached their very summit Ariadne I uttered the impassioned language maiden from behind the scenes while Ariadne II was tooling up the rocks and supposed to be speaking at the words die Ariadne die from the lips of Ariadne I Ariadne II sinks upon the rock and Ariadne III made her first appearance and unhesitatingly sprang into the sea the resemblance of the three must have been striking for I have been told the changes could not be detected by the most powerful opera glass the illusion was so perfect that on the night of the representation when Ariadne leaped on the rock a man started up in the pit exclaiming in a tone of genuine horror God she is killed the success of Ariadne determined the manager to offer the public a series of new plays this announcement caused some of the first dramatists in London to devote their talents to the interest of the theatre the first play accepted was the historical tragedy of Marie de Moran by Mr. Marston author of the patrician's daughter Strathmore etc I was to personate Queen Marie the mise-en-thrope by Douglas Gerald was the next drama put into rehearsal Mr. Gerald read his play to the assembled company in the green room Miss Vining and myself were both called to the reading it was anticipated that I would decline the role of the heroine the part would in that case be enacted by Miss Vining Mr. Gerald expressed a desire that I should embody the character in spite of its avowed insignificance of the two acts I consented a new classical drama entitled Uxmal by Mr. Harold containing many original situations and some poetry of a high order was under consideration and would have been accepted added to these Lee Hutt had sent to me his drama of lovers amazements with the hope that I would be the means of introducing it to the public the drama had been written some years Lee Hutt states that the equal amounts of interest with which the four principal characters are invested had been the barrier to the play's production the larger portion of the leading actor's dread arrival on the dramatic field whom the author has furnished with weapons as powerful as their own lovers amazements was however accepted at the Olympic and the characters were filled by Mr. Davenport Mr. Brook, Miss Vining and myself the proverbial jealousy which characterizes even many distinguished members of the profession may be detected in various ways by an audience and it is well that it should be the following are a few enlightening hints one strong evidence of jealousy makes itself apparent when an actor backs up the stage as it is called while another is delivering important speeches addressed to him thus compelling the speaker to turn his back to the audience or talk his shoulder to a person behind him when the parties on stage do not stand stied by side or in a semi-circle if several chance to occupy the stage at the same time the proper situation of who as the most important passage to deliver be he star or the humblest subordinate is a little in retreat of the others in this position he faces the audience and yet looks toward those whom he is addressing few are the leading actors who will accord this just privilege to an actor of inferior rank another straw by which a shrewd observer may detect which way the wind of envy goes is the readiness of an actor to interrupt the applause which the audience are about to bestow on another by hastening his own replies when he finds the plaudits about to commence an audience who would follow the play are thus compelled to be silent and though the trick of an envious brother the actor loses the encouragement upon which many depend for inspiration when an actor distracts the attention of the audience by inappropriate or super abundant by play or fidgeting and muttering while another actor is delivering effective language it is a certain symptom of the narrow mindedness which dreads to behold a rival wind public favor the perfect representation of a play demands that every actor should be allowed the untrammeled use of his abilities is often in the power of the audience themselves to secure him this desirable privilege while the four new plays which I have mentioned above were in the course of preparation are tidings from the invalid at Trinidad grew sadder than ever letters written by a hand so feeble that it seemed hardly able to guide the pin confirmed our worst fears the arrival of every steamer became a day of dread letter was the herald of fresh alarm until the pulses of hope were almost stopped or changed to long despairs just at this period letters from America brought intelligence of an exciting and distressing nature these combined sorrows had a serious effect on my already over-tasked mind I lost the power of mental concentration so essential on the stage worse yet I lost my memory which up to that period had been marble to retain sometimes while personating characters with which I was most familiar which I had acted again and again without altering a syllable of the text the words would suddenly fade from my thoughts I could not recall even the subject of the dialogue prompting was useless now and then I recovered myself by a determined effort more frequently and to depend on my sympathizing laborers to conceal as far as possible my entire obliviousness behind the scenes I kept the book of the play in my hand and studied continually but to no purpose I constantly went upon the stage in an agony of dread uncertain whether I would struggle through the coming scene the theater became to me a region full of terrors I must relate as rapidly as possible the events next in order they are too painful to be dwelt upon I would gladly omit them could I do so conscientiously against the manager of the Olympic theater whose many charities whose great liberality whose unvarying kindness had won him the respect and esteem of the whole company were brought appalling charges he had been for many years the accountant of an assurance association he was accused of some species of fraud or embezzlement I believe these were not the legal terms used it was however their meaning the theater was suddenly closed the company scattered the manager confident to all appearance of being acquitted gave himself up for trial several days previous to the occurrence of this last terrible event I became so seriously ill that my name was withdrawn from the bills Miss Vining assumed the characters which I usually personated the new shock completed what accumulation of sorrows had begun immediately after the closing of the theater I was attacked with brain fever the four succeeding monks are a blank to me there are no distinct records in the book of memory my recollection is of opening my eyes from sleep as I thought upon the countenance of Dr. W who was intently gazing in my face he was sitting by my bed a nurse whose kind features were unfamiliar to me stood on one side on the other a much beloved female friend I did not recognize the room in which I was lying I had been removed there during my illness I remember hearing the doctor whisper to my friend Hush she is coming to herself he asked me if I knew him I answered in the affirmative and thought the question an odd one for he was a physician whose friendship I greatly prized of the lapse of time I had not the remotest conception Dr. W wisely determined not to deceive me in regard to my illness or any of the events which had taken place during my long unconsciousness at my eager inquiries he took up the broken chain of my memory and supplied the missing links Mr. Mawit had returned to England some months previous he was better I should soon be allowed to see him the theater it was still closed it had been open but for one night and that was on the occasion the benefit given to Miss Vinning the company were heavy losers the manager very gently the kind doctor communicated the fearful intelligence that related to him he had been tried convicted severely sentenced the shock had overpowered his reason he had perished the same night by his own hand the jury of inquest had brought the verdict of temporary insanity I cannot attempt any description of my meeting with the one being whose sufferings had been as great as my own greater for I retained no recollection of physical afflictions through the sunshine of joy that irradiated his face I could trace many a deep furrow plowed by grief and disease which was not there when we parted his health was still in the most precarious state though he had rallied during the spring months he landed in England before any letter could apprise him of my illness during his absence and after his return I had been most tenderly nursed by fateful friends to whose unwirry devotion I have every reason to believe I owe my life how well I recall the strange thrill that ran through me when I lifted my hand to my head the long abundant tresses had disappeared a few round rings of hair were left in their place they told me that my physician and friends were very anxious that my hair should be preserved its weight encumbered my head when confined by comb or band and when loosen became inextricably tangled around my shoulders I constantly entreated that it might be cut off no one was willing to perform the office the demand was looked upon as raving of the fever one day I had been accidentally left alone for a few minutes and a pair of scissors lay in a workbasket near me I was found sitting up in the bed the shorn ringlets severed closely from my head lying in every direction of who on the night of my London day view had sneered at the heap of hair as an uneristocratic adornment would have been well pleased Mr. Mawit had visited Dr. W's water cure establishment at Malvern he was very desirous of making further trial of hydropathic treatment I also pre-possessed in its favor in about a fortnight after my first return to consciousness I was able to accompany him to Malvern a bed was made for me in the railway carriage and I bore the journey with less fatigue than could have been anticipated End of Chapter 19 Chapter 20 of Autobiography of an Actress by Anna Cora Mawit This Libra Box Recording is in the public domain Recording by Kelly Taylor A tiny cottage that looked like a bird's nest dropped in a fairy circle was our home at Malvern The miniature dwelling stood in the center of a garden so luxuriant that the floral beauties crowning cheek to cheek struggled to overtop each other seemed engaged in a perpetual contention which should infold the most loveliness to the sun or fling most fragrance on the breeze Close to the cottage rose trees either side the door were growing life and growing tall each one set a summer water for the keeping of the hall with a red rose and a white rose leaning and nodding at the wall Standing in the little garden facing the cottage a range of magnificent hills formed the background of the landscape hills that appeared to be the young mountains just gaining their growth These Malvern hills were the scene of Langlad's poetic vision Their picturesque grandeur must have filled any dreamer's brain with shapes of ideal beauty and may have given birth to many an unpinned inspiration Upon an eminence a short distance from our cottage stood Dr. W's Water Cure Establishment Both invalids sought the benefits of hydropampi and were daily attended by Dr. W But Candor compels me to say that only one adhered to the rules enforced at the establishment After the first month during which period my health made little visible progress I decided by my own feelings what portion of the treatment agreed with me and discarded that which not did not Before long I was able to mount a donkey one of the most docile and obedient specimens of that much abused race I generally rose soon after the sun had set me the example and while the morning mist were rolling up the hills my gentle donkey carried me to their summit The eye never wearied of daguerre typing the rich panorama that encircled the these mountain like hills on every side fresh prospects were unfolded their aspect varying with the changing lights I spent many an hour watching and wondering admiration the kaleidoscope hues of each scenic phase once or twice Mr. Mawa accompanied me in a garden chair but the exercise found too fatiguing I took my daily donkey excursions attended only by the boy driver walking at the donkey's side this youth was born beneath the shadow of malvern hills and often amused me with his original conceptions of the world beyond we exchanged opinions on various subjects and now and then under the startling influence of a new idea he would come to a sudden stop in his trotting walk and exclaim good golly you don't believe that now surely pronounced lie you doesn't who can say through what narrow crevices of light the truth may shine upon the darkened mind what tiny seed casually scattered may take root an unbroken soul in spring heavenward I believe I reciprocated some of the donkey boys chagrin when his attendants was no longer needed and the donkey was exchanged for a horse a solemn looking steed it was decidedly advanced in years and warranted to have renounced all youthful indiscretions trusting in his good character I started upon my first ride unattended the ladies at malvern frequently make excursions on horseback alone my staid looking pegasus unexpectedly ran away with me and was stopped by some countrymen we subsequently learned that he was once a quite celebrated racer and had won several trophies the approach of age had caused his present retirement into private life I rode him every day for six weeks and he never ran away with me but once more and then he was influenced by a dangerous effect of a bad example I was riding with a friend her horse took fright and ran mine called mine his ancient victories and did not choose to appear wanting in spirit the two horses passed each other again and again on the road both riders being unable to hold them in I can only cry out to my friend as I darted by her keep your seat fennie keep your seat and there is no danger her exhausted I can't I can't terrified me so much that by sudden impulse I turned my head into a Hawthorne hedge he stopped suddenly and invent some slightest pleasure at the indignity on looking back I saw my friend lying upon her horse almost insensible and a gentleman holding her reins and those of his own horse I rode back to them the stranger proved to be a physician we supported the now helpless equestrian between us and walked our horses to Henley castle which was just inside the castle is occupied by some of the descendants of Sir Thomas Lucy of Charlotte Coe and Shakespearean memory we alighted and my friend was carried back into the house our unexpected but most gracious host and hostess tenderly ministered to the sufferer and for some time after she revived would not allow us to leave their hospitable roof the horses were sent home by a broom with a message informing Mr. Mawat of our safety about an hour afterwards the carriage of our host was brought to the door and he accompanied us home from that time I rode alone and found my sedate steed more manageable than when in company after four months sojourn in Melbourne we returned to London towards the close of our stay Mr. Mawat had rapidly grown worse he almost entirely lost the use of his limbs the strong arms of a friend were needed to bear him from his sofa to the carriage all his energies physical and mental appeared suddenly to fail night brought to his sufferings no obvious bomb mornings no invigorating relief the entreaties of friends induced us to call in the celebrated Dr. D the discoverer and promulgator of the promo-thermal practice of medicine we were already personally acquainted with him and his lovely wife and were familiar with certain of his cures which almost deserved the name of Marvelous with his coming departing hope dawned anew once more painted the bow of promise upon our future his skill procured the sufferer almost instantaneous relief arresting the disease which was beyond mortal cure the infallid was now confined entirely to his bed but the spirit of pain had been exercised a holy calm diffused itself about that death bed as though the breathing of good angels developed it with a heronly aura the veil of eternity was falling around it not in funereal blackness that speaks of annihilation but in the golden and purple foals of promise descending from the new heavens to him who lay on that couch impurified patients of spirit death was a smiling angel of invitation throwing open the crystal portals of the future and joyfully reckoning the new guest into the mansions of more perfect life a life of holier uses more ineffable joys more conscious individuality more angelic progression very often with placid brow and serene tones he spoke of the coming change his faith was so full of living quickening certainty that it rebuked the tears whose rebellious fall would have profane such a death bed he had not dwelt in the suburbs of the holy city but entered into its innermost temple the doctrines of the new church had not been received into his memory merely but had come forth into his daily life and had been inscribed upon his heart a never wavering trust had cast out fear and given the foot of the summoner the sound of music his worldly arrangements were made with methodical precision that usually characterised his actions his still entangled affairs were smoothed as far as possible that over his own words were I am ready to go yet I have found sweetness enough in this life to be willing to stay thy will not mine was his spirit's true expression a couple of months passed on and the invalid grew excitedly better he never left his bed yet he gained strength his sight was partially restored his ever-chirful bearing often verged upon actual gaiety the skill of his physician was fighting a hard battle with the great conqueror his symptoms became so favourable that I could not but cling to the probability that he might yet recover after a time he did the same he was restored when I left Malvern under the care of Dr. D became thoroughly re-established and I had the need for all my strength my long illness had commenced in the spring winter was approaching as soon as my perfect restoration became known I had numerous offers for theatrical engagements then for the first time Mr. Mommet disclosed to me that by far the larger portion of all we possessed the hard earnings of a long period of exertion had for business purposes men left in the hands of the manager of the Olympic theatre in his ruin it had been swept away it became needful that I should resume my labors the instant that I felt able I pass over what this intelligence was to me life in all its bitter necessities requirements had brought no extremity that tried me as did this my most advantageous offers were in the provinces I must leave my vigils beside a couch which I still believe might be the bed of death to wear the mockery of glittering robes in the frigid atmosphere of a theatre I sought a private interview with Dr. D. and entreated him to disclose to me his patient's true condition the doctor's reluctance to comply with my request was almost answer sufficient I told him frankly our exact situation and implored him not to conceal from me the truth I shall never forget or cease to be grateful for the feeling which he exhibited his answer was I have never seen so many wonders affected by a proper medical treatment that I am never inclined to say that recovery is impossible in the case of Mr. Mawit I fear that it is improbable no one can decide how long he may live it may be a few months it may be much longer might the time be even shorter it might be but he appears so much better I do not anticipate any immediate danger and what must I do anything rather than to excite him by opposition if you would not produce fatal consequences do you mean to say that I must leave London and fulfill some of these engagements for the most advantageous one the one that he entreats me to accept is in Dublin yes if he has been to I dreaded nothing so much as beholding cares for the morrow re-enter with disturbing influence the now peaceful mind of one whose morrows on earth were numbered without further hesitation I told him I would go richly did his reply reward the struggle for self-government which enabled me to make the decision the Dublin engagement was accepted for January I was to remain absent but three weeks and then hasten back to London Mr. Davenport was at that period engaged at the Haymarket Theatre having been selected by Mr. McCready as his support during his farewell of the stage this precluded the possibility of Mr. Davenport's accompanying me it was finally decided that I should make the journey alone attended by Mrs. Renshaw and her pasty of ladies made her name has before been mentioned in these memoirs as the person whose courage saved the life of the young girl at the Marlebon Theatre this instance of presence of mind added to her well-known respectability and her accomplishments as a costumer caused her to be selected by Mr. Mallott as a trustworthy companion she had officiated as mistress of the wardrobe in two theatres but had never before entered service she had been a widow for more than twenty years the maid whom I had several times alluded to in previous chapters was her elder sister and had waited upon me ever since I came to London she was at this period Mr. Mallott's nurse a very pattern of devotion and patience and was to remain with him the night before I commenced my journey the invalid called me to his bedside he pointed out a small trunk and said that should it be the will of our Lord that this parting was our last on earth I would find in that trunk several letters one of which he trusted would prove full of comfort the doctor had warned me to give way to no emotion and I could but listen in silence while he spoke of the future the present the past he talked of the child who had walked by his side to school of the young girl he had educated the spring days of whose existence he had filled with earth's rosiest hues of the companion whom when life ceased to be a pastime God had gifted with strength to bear one half of the appointed burden it was past midnight when I left him sinking peacefully to sleep and I changed my soul to hold my body strengthen for the sun well I might for with that morning came the fixed conviction that I was looking for the last time upon a face which at least when it turned to me had ever been full of tenderness the liver-pull started soon after daylight long before that period Mrs. Rinshaw had been called to the bedside of the invalid and I was asked to complete my preparations in my own little room adjoining when I again was summoned I did not inquire what had been the subject of conversation I soon discovered it when I found that I had not a settled peculiarity an odd fancy special taste with which my companion had not suddenly become acquainted true to her promise she used her best endeavours to gratify the taste yield to the fancies and respect the peculiarities when her perfect knowledge of my ways drew from me many a surprise who told you to do that or how did you know I liked that I always the same answer the moment of parting came the suffering one left behind retained his smiling composure to the end for me I might well be thankful that the last words were a blessing for I never heard the sound of his voice again End of Chapter 20 Chapter 21 of Autobiography of an Actress by Anna Cora-Mollett this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Kelly Taylor we cross the channel in a steamer called the Iron Duke the strongest and swiftest on the line I found comfort in the name it accorded with my experiences Iron seen the inflexible necessity that launched me upon this new and lonely career iron like must be the courage which could enable me to face the future of iron the strength which was needed to endure the present everyone who has crossed the channel will remember the physical distress produced by the quick sharp jerking motion of the waves far more trying than the regular rolling of the ocean all night the rain poured in torrents cold that our passage was quite smooth then heaven help us through the rough ones was our involuntary ejaculation at daylight we reached Kingston the train started at 8 o'clock and we arrived in Dublin at half past 8 we expected Mr. Calcraft the Lee C. and manager of the theater Royal where I was engaged to meet us at the station there we waited until every passenger had disappeared still he did not come what was to be done this was my first journey unsurrounded by the tender protection of relatives or friends and my London maid had never before been 60 miles removed from the sound of bobells the two forstaken looking beings who in frozen bewilderment stood shivering beside a huge pile of trunks would have added a speaking addition though they were nearly speech less to punches portraits of unprotected females we were soon surrounded by an army of cab men who intermingled their offers to transport us anywhere under the face of the sun with a flood of most ludicrously flattering ejaculations but what would have been the height of the English cab driver flowed so naturally from the lips of a son of green Aaron that it disarmed rebuke not knowing how to dispose of ourselves for we were decidedly overburdened with our own safekeeping we drove to the theater in hope of finding the manager Mr. Kalkraft was not there it was too early in the morning who was there nobody but the old housekeeper was not up would she get up sure and she would if we would wait was the answer received we wrapped ourselves in our traveling blankets for protection against the frosty air that was whistled in from every side of the loosely built Irish vehicle and waited by and by the housekeeper thrust her good-humored face out of the stage door and giving us our inquisitive details advanced there was considerable cap-tying and hook and eyes clasping and other adjustments of a hurly toilet accomplished on her way to the carriage I told her who we were look and is it the new star lady from London sure and you're welcome and it's everybody that's wanting to see you was her hearty salutation acquired after Mr. Callcraft expected us in the half past nine o'clock train and would be at the station at that hour had he engaged a suite of impartments as I requested by letter sure and he hasn't was the answer he said yes and wanted three rooms on a floor opening together and they wasn't to be found in all of Dublin did he secure any other rooms for me bless you he was afraid nothing else would suit but what am I to do lord love you sure and we'll find some place for you today can you just step into the theater and wait a while wait a while in a cold dark theater when we were freezing and starving and the shelter of a warm room was almost indispensable to the prolongation of our lives I can't wait I answered we will look for lodgings ourselves if we find them I will send you the address if not we will return here you don't man you're going hot and for rooms at this hour in the morning and in that hasty sort of style yes I am an American and we always make haste the good woman gave a valuable vent to her astonishment at the proposed rapid mode of transacting business part of the city would we drive to was the next question for I was not acquainted with a single Dublin locality my London friends had supplied me with letters of introduction I remembered that the address of one a lady R was Marion Square the name sounded musically attractive Marion Square must be some pleasant place drive to Marion Square was the order given to the coachman and stop at the first bakers or green grocers after you get there Marion Square was quickly reached and my anticipations of the agreeable vicinity were realized we stopped at a green grocery Mrs. Renshaw alighted and inquired of the smiling grocer's wife whether there were any desirable lodgings to be attained in the neighborhood she received a direction to three houses that had unoccupied apartments we drove to the first which was close to the square the exterior was sufficiently inviting the interior passed for good to better there were three large well furnished rooms on the second floor precisely what we wanted ten minutes after we stepped from the carriage the rooms had been engaged and I was lying on a comfortable sofa and Mrs. R was preparing a refreshing cup of tea so much for our American mode of helping ourselves had we trusted our exertion to our Irish friends possibly these consummations devoutly to be wished might have blessed us about midday or nightfall this looks like some sort of Aladdin's lounge business exclaimed my wandering attendant looking around her it seems as though these rooms has been all prepared by our just wishing for them already waiting for us to walk in it did certainly appear as though some invisible avant coureur had made all necessary preparations for our comfort and smoothed away every difficulty I never could get this odd notion out of my head we remained in these singularly obtained lodgings through our whole stay in Dublin and had ample cause to be pleased with them from our landlady daughter we received the most devoted attentions the latter was one of the many perfect specimens of female loveliness which I beheld in Dublin I am half inclined to think that the palm of feminine perfection belongs to the daughters of the Emerald Isle in the course of the day Mr. Collcraft called upon me I found him a gentleman of polished manners accustomed to the most refined society and highly educated with his dramatic authorship I was already acquainted I had very frequently acted in his version of the Bride of Lamomore Scott's thrilling history of the broken hearted maiden was originally dramatized by Collcraft for Mrs. Henry Cydence she personated Lucy Ashton a number of times at the Dublin Theatre Royal of which he was the manager I enacted the character upon the same stage when I arrived in Dublin Mr. Brook had just fulfilled an engagement of some length he was re-engaged to appear with me he was the only familiar face that I saw in my first rehearsal lonely I could not feel but I had no trials to undergo similar to those which rendered my first rehearsals in Manchester and London a species of theatrical purgatory the influence of a gentlemen-like manager was felt throughout the theatre the actors were courteous in the extreme and vied with each other in readiness to conform to the wishes of the stranger we opened in the Lady of Lyon I chose that character because there is no necessity for exertion in the first two acts an abundance of time to get over any attacks of stage fright happily the dreaded stage demon kept far off from me I scarcely experienced a nervous tremor and never made a more self-possessed first appearance I know of no audience who exerts so inspiring an influence over an actor as the Dublin their thorough enjoyment their quick comprehension their ready responsiveness to exalted sentiments their genuine tokens of delight often expressed in a comic and always hearty manner bear the performer as upon a silent wave to the a lesion shores of success their enthusiasm is contagious and rouses his energies kindles his ambition and renders even labour a pleasure to act tamely before that audience would be an impossibility no genius should slumber in such a vivifying atmosphere no aspirations become weary no ardour grow cold my debut was a highly successful one the Dublin press were prodigal of penetrics the spirit of chivalry which always animates the breast of an Irishman towards womanhood would have made them regard me with favourable eyes but that I was a stranger and an American was sufficient excuse for any courteous extravagance how dear America and her children are to Ireland was proved to me daily and in many flattering ways during my stay in Dublin I quote the paragraph which prefaces the critique upon my first performance which appeared in the Freeman's Journal to make apparent that in spite of the enthusiasm which I have described as characterizing a Dublin audience they claim for themselves the most fastidious discrimination as critics on last evening Mrs. appeared for the first time before our Dublin audience this event doubtless highly interesting to the admirers of dramatic novelty and look forward to with pleasurable anticipations by connoisseurs who constitute critical authority on affairs dramatic must have been considered an occasion somewhat trying by an artist of whose natural genius and histrionic ability public report has spoken so highly sustained by the ornate an elaborate criticism of the American and English press throughout the whole range of stage representation actors and actresses from the highest to the lowest from McCready and Siddons to the humblest professor of light comedy all have dreaded the ordeal of a Dublin audience it might perhaps seem needless to remind the readers this journal of the fastidious character of that same audience the most considerate as it is the most just and generous of any before which true genius has ever presented its claims we would not do so were it not that we wish to enhance the magnitude and the delicacy of the compliment paid on last evening by that audience to the fair and gifted actress who came before them the power of America the adopted land of thousands of our countrymen Armand was produced towards the close of the engagement and never created a more powerful sensation Mr. Brooke's delineation of the peasant Armand was interrupted by cheers from the commencement to the close of the play the galleries fairly seemed inclined to make a dissent upon the stage and carry him at the summons before the curtain after the most deafening clamors of applause as I was making my final acknowledgement the cry of nine cheers for America the pitch started to their feet and lustily gave cheers with waving hats and handkerchiefs when the last peels ceased the orchestra struck up Hail Columbia and drew down a new response our national air was immediately followed by St. Patrick's Day in the Morning which always creates a furor of patriotic delight the audience are particularly addicted to audible criticisms it was quite usual for them when struck by any of my efforts to cry out Bravo America! America forever! Long life to young America! The pit in galleries are in the habit of constantly addressing the actors upon the stage expressing gratification or displeasure in very decided terms bless your swipe face or Lord Lavia is not an unusual salutation to a favorite female performer and similar expressions of affectionate delight are called forth by the action of the play in which she is concerned in spite of their readiness to be pleased they are also alarmingly despotic and their chiding is often merciless with some of Shakespeare's plays they are so conversant that if an actor make a mistake in the text they will correct him with a rebuke and force him to repeat the passage I was a witness to one painful instance of their tyranny over an innocently offending individual we were performing planche's comedita of faint heart the actor who personated the ol' Marquis had rather an indistinct voice caused I think by loss of teeth the galleries cried out to him Spike a little loud are we oh yeah his efforts to render his voice audible were not sufficiently successful to please them and they continued to shout at intervals Spike up Spike up ol' Graybeard the actor became so much confused that he could scarcely speak at all in an undertone I entreated him to go on without noticing the interruptions he endeavored to do so but signally failed somebody then sang out TAKE A LITTLE WALTHER and another voice cried blow your nose will ya and let's hear your voice each of these recommendations was followed by appeal of merriment the persecuted Marquis trembled visibly and the big drops of moisture began to roll from his brows still he uttered every word of his part correctly though his voice continued thick and lasky all at once some individual who fancied himself particularly penetrating called out ah it's drunk he is ae strong ae strong was echoed on every side and the accusation was accompanied by groans and hisses the man was not in the least degree intoxicated or excited by any stimulus as was afterwards proved when he was called up before the manager but shame and terror at the imputation upon his sobriety almost took from him the power of articulation and as he led me from the stage which the action of the play demanded he almost reeled his emotion was so great behind the scenes that he turned a deaf ear to all consolation in a few minutes we were obliged to reappear upon the stage together no sooner had he opened his lips than he was greeted with the salutations ah ya drunk ae loon aren't ye ashamed is that a respect issue to a lady get home with ya and etc the unfortunate actor was so thoroughly confounded that fright actually gave him the appearance of a man not sober we cut the scene as much as possible I've lended my speeches in a manner that precluded the necessity of his answering and he soon had the opportunity of again making his exit the extinguages of the play required that the marquee should make his appearance once more before its close his cue was spoken in a loud tone and his entrance and outs but no marquee was forthcoming again and again the cue was repeated with sundry glances at the prompter but no marquee presented himself what was to be done there was a dead pause and a long wait and the sound of voices in remonstrance or in treaty proceeding from behind the scenes but still no marquee appeared the audience began to invent their impatience and displeasure I caught sight of the stage manager at the wing earnestly gesticulating and apparently in a great state of consternation as I approached the entrance he whispered to me what on earth shall we do the poor fellow is so frightened a happy thought struck me and returning to my position on the stage I looked in the direction where the marquee should have entered and then at the situation he ought to have occupied on the stage and continued my part saying marquee who should be standing there etc etc the audience birthed forth in a yell of delighted merriment at the device I continued to address the invisible marquee making his answers which were supposed to be heard by my hearers alone known to them by my interpretation every few words excited a fresh shout of laughter and the play concluded as brilliantly as though our absent marquee had been present in the most humorous shape on the last night of my engagement a rather amusing scene took place at the stage door of the theater where the carriage was waiting to take me home on emerging into the street we found such a crowd assembled that it was with difficulty that the gentleman who was escorting me could force away to the carriage this throng had gathered to witness my departure not merely because I was a favorite in Dublin but because I was American and America had suckered Ireland in her hour of need they grasped my hands as I passed seized my dress crying out God bless you, my lady Lord give you prosperity America, America's the blessed land there were a number of women in the crowd some of them with infants in their arms these they pressed upon me crying out look at my baby my lady take a look at my baby and let the little girl kiss your hand etc. I was forced to send some minutes in the street complying as well as I could with their request they hen me in so closely that to reach the carriage was an impossibility and the gentleman whose arms I held lifted his cane to strike some of the poor creatures but they drew back at my request though they did not seem inclined to do so before the threaten blows after I was seated in the carriage we discovered that Mrs. Renshaw had been lost in the crowd she was not recognized as my attendant and consequently got separated from me to her great distraught me she was unmercifully jostled about and nearly trampled underfoot one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went in search of her she was found with some difficulty and even then it was only by proclaiming who she was that he could induce the crowd to make way and let her pass we drove off amidst cheers and shouts of God bless ya long life to ya which never ceased while the carriage was in sight I received several complimentary letters and other tokens of esteem during my stay in Dublin and I formed some delightful acquaintances I am there deader for numerous hospitalities and courtesies every morning's mail brought me a note from the invalid in London very often I had a second note in the evening every mail took back a note to him with a supply of newspapers he had wonderfully revived and wrote in excellent spirits the accounts of my Dublin successes cheered him and he derived great amusement from the sketches of the individuals with whom I became acquainted and the narration of various incidents I quoted a few passages from his daily letters to show me and thankful spirit in which they were pinned your letter rejoiced my heart and filled me with gratitude to heaven all seemed so prosperous I too am unusually well and strong today how much you seem to be favored by the press and by having your exertions appreciated and rewarded heaven surely favors you and me through you I am so comfortable this morning after a good night's sleep and the cheerful sun shining so be in the room and your sweet waterlily hanging over me and the portrait of your dear self on the other side of the painting of Saint John I know that it will make you happy to learn that for the first time since you left me I have been able to sit up and read which I have just now been doing to my infinite delight for a half an hour Providence be thanked for your mercy's this is more than I expected what happened for some weeks last night was the best yet I am lying upon your sofa having been placed there by a nephew of Mr. M who is very kind and an excellent substitute for our good Charlie Davenport brought me a beautiful pot of lilies of the valley in full bloom this morning your letter of Sunday was a great source of pleasure so that I am as comfortable today as can be I look forward to many hour's amusement upon your return from various scenes and events that have happened to you my good doctor is all attention to me and watches me with the greatest care Mrs. E is delighted that her sister, Mrs. R suits you so well the contended tone of these letters and the favourable change which my London friends assured me had taken place once more cheated me into the belief that his recovery was possible I even dared to believe probable in his later letters he entreated me to accept an offer which I had received to act a fortnight in Newcastle on time and then to visit Scotland I unwillingly consented to the former request and my faithful attendant and I left Dublin to face his turn towards Newcastle instead of London as I earnestly desired End of Chapter 21